


Going the distance

by NatBBfan



Category: Friday Night Lights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2020-09-29 15:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 103,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatBBfan/pseuds/NatBBfan
Summary: Running into one of her childhood friends and former boyfriend makes María reflect on how she navigated her way into adult life while balancing her challenging life in college with a long distance relationship. Sequel to "Back in Dillon for senior year".





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

"Hey Will, come here please," María said trying to gain the attention of her two year old son, who was closely and curiously examining all the items placed in the lower shelves at the local hardware store in Dillon.

The toddler immediately turned to her and obediently grabbed her hand. "Good boy." María tenderly lifted him in her arms and looked into his big hazel eyes. Surrounded by long eyelashes, they were no doubt a genetic feature from his father's family. "Which one you think daddy'd prefer? Red or blue?" she softly asked him pointing at the gardening gloves neatly displayed on the top shelf.

Will locked eyes with her and smiled. That was a no brainer for him. "Blue, he's 'Panzer'," he clearly stated, still not being able to pronounce the word correctly. But that slight inconvenience would not prevent him from saying it as much as he could.

María chuckled. "That's right, buddy, he used to be a Panther," she said placing him on the floor again, and thinking, not for the first time lately, that she had to talk to the men in the family as Will was definitely becoming obsessed with the Panthers. Blue was now his favorite color, followed by yellow, and a few days before she had been surprised to find that he had taken away all his stuffed animals but the panthers from his bed, keeping them in the far end of the closet while the panthers were proudly and neatly spread all over the bedroom. When she had asked why he had done that, he had just shrugged. "They no 'Panzers', Mom," he had simply explained to a stunned María.

Smiling to herself and making a quick mental note to try and stop all that football talking and watching, María affectionately touched her son's head. She was taking a pair of blue gloves with her other hand when she heard a soft male voice behind her.

"Hey, María, María McGill, right?" the voice sounded somehow familiar, and he was using her maiden name, but she could not identify him.

Intrigued, she turned around to find Jack Byrne coyly smiling at her. She had not seen him for more than ten years, since he had turned up at the hospital days after Mac had had the stroke, but he had not changed at all. Same beautiful face, same athletic body, same warm smile. He had always been attractive as a boy, and in a split second María noticed that he had grown into a very handsome man.

She smiled back. "Hey, Jack, long time no see..." she greeted him while Will was curiously watching this tall man who seemed to know his mom. The fact that Jack was holding a big box with a colorful swing printed on it that soon dragged the kid's attention.

"Or should I say Riggins? Heard about your wedding on the news..." Jack softly inquired. The story of María McGill, winner of five LPGA tournaments in only two seasons, who was retiring from pro golf at the top of her career to marry her childhood best friend and come back to live in a small town in Western Texas had made the national news, much to her dismay.

"Yeah, it's Riggins now, but it's still McGill for golf." Despite living in Dillon, she was still in touch with the pro golf world as she had a part time job as a golf commentator for the LPGA tournaments on NBC. She had been unexpectedly offered it right after her wedding. Not knowing if it was the right move for her just then, her husband had been nothing but encouraging and supportive and after long thought she had finally signed the contract, just adding one condition: she would only do it for the tournaments held in Texas. She had already had her fair share of travelling around the country while playing pro, and she found it to be totally incompatible with the family life she was hoping for when she had retired and returned home. The network had gladly accepted that condition and she had been working for them for the last four seasons, only with a short break when Will was born.

"I know, seen you on tv," Jack said.

"I can't believe you watch the LPGA, Jack..." she amused.

"I do, you know I'd watch anything barely resembling a sport... Sorry, that came out completely wrong..." he quickly apologized.

"I know what you mean, Jack... How are your parents?" John and Cindy Byrne had always been nice to her while they had been dating, and María hoped they were doing well.

"They're well, thank you. Still travelling a lot for work, but I don't think they're retiring any time soon. Yours?" he asked back.

"I'm glad, Jack. Mine are fine, both working, too. I don't really see them retiring either..." María answered.

"Tough generation, uh?" Jack chuckled.

"Blue!" Will blurted out looking at the swing Jack was holding, interrupting their awkward conversation.

"Oh, this is Will, my son," María proudly introduced him. "Will, this is Jack, one of mom and dad's old golf friends..." she trailed off.

"Hi Will. Nice to meet you," Jack said squatting to be at eye level with the kid, and reaching out his hand. Will politely shook hands with him, wide smile on his face.

"Well, María, he's a Riggins all right," Jack whispered while he was still holding his small hand.

"I know, hard to miss, he's his spitting image. His fair hair is apparently my only contribution..." she chuckled. "What about you? Any kids?" she asked trying to push away from her mind the bittersweet memories she had of Jack and their last weeks together, and bring back images of the boy that had deeply captivated her when she was sixteen. Her very first boyfriend, not that she had had many.

He retrieved his phone from his pocket and produced a photo of two young children. "Two, boy and girl, John and Lola, five and three," he mumbled, showing it to María, with a sudden sad look on his face.

"Oh, Jack, they're beautiful! You must be proud of them..." she exclaimed, not understanding the way he talked about them.

"I am. It's just that both their mothers won't let me see them much, and they barely know each other..." he sadly explained.

"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry to hear that. It must be hard..."

"It is, but I kinda earned it..." Already on his third marriage at twenty-eight and coaching pee wee football in a small town near Midland instead of playing pro, like he had always dreamt, his life was far from the one he had envisioned for himself as a teenager. A rising high school football star and a straight A student, he never imagined he would feel like a loser before turning thirty. He often thought of that, but seeing María in front of him for the first time in nearly ten years, it was even more obvious to him. Bad choices had led him where he was now, and hurting María and letting her go was certainly among all those bad choices.

He shoved his phone in his pocket again and looked back at María and Will and their joined hands. He cleared his throat and held her gaze.

"Congrats, María. Out of the great five, I think you're the only one who made it. Your dream came true, you must be proud."

Instead of taking it as a compliment, she expressed her confusion. "Hey, thanks but... I don't know, Jack. I think that Alan leads a happy life. And of course I'd like to think Timmy does, too... and as far as I'm concerned, all I can tell you is that I've worked hard all my life, ..." she elaborated trying not to think about Miles and the life he would be living if fate had not stand in his way, and taking a few seconds to stop to think about her life.

María did not have to explain herself, and even less to Jack, of all people, but her life had been far from being idyllic. As she had just told him, she had worked hard all her life while most her friends led a much quiet and less demanding existence. At school, at the range and the course, in Florida, in college, playing pro... And she had made sacrifices during all those years, the most important one barely spending time with the people she loved the most.

It was something that she would never say out loud, as she did not want to be considered as an ungrateful and spoilt brat. She was really grateful for her family, who had always been supportive no matter what, for her friends, and for the chances she had been given during her life, but the truth was that it had not been easy. And sometimes it was not still being easy nowadays. Of course she was happy with her life in general and in her marriage in particular, and she would not trade it for anything, but it was a fact that she did her best every day to make it work. As her mother had told her when she announced her engagement, marriage required two people who for the rest of their lives were willing to listen to each other every single day. And she knew she was lucky to have a partner that worked on it as much as she did despite his own demons. But that was another story, and certainly it was not one to tell Jack Byrne about.

Jack tried to clarify what he had just said. "Yeah, you're right... Maybe the two of us were the ones with big dreams? Definitely, you've worked hard while I… I don't know, María, but anyway I'm glad for you, I really am. I know it's been a long time, but I am truly sorry about the way things ended up between us..." he trailed off.

"Jack, please..." María tried to stop him while she kept a hold on Will's hand.

"No, it's true. I never intended to hurt you and I know I did. I'm sorry, I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't. Now I know that I have a knack for hurting the women I love, but I couldn't figure it out back then..." he apologized again.

"Hey, Jack, it's okay. Water under the bridge now," María whispered.

"Thanks María." He turned to Will, who was now trying to free himself from his mother's hand to wander around the store while his mom was distracted with this old friend.

"Hey, little man. You know your mom's one of the best golfers in the country?"

Will nodded. "And dad a 'Panzer'!" he enthusiastically said, earning a laugh from both María and Jack.

"Some things don't change, I guess... I have to go, María. Nice seeing you. Take care and give my best to all your family."

"Likewise, Jack, bye," she said holding Will's hand again and heading for the next aisle. "Come on, buddy, let's get those barbecue tools grandpa needs for tomorrow and then we can go home, okay?"

When they were in the parking lot of the hardware store, María's phone chimed with an incoming text while she was buckling Will in his car seat.

"Mom, phone!" he said. "Thanks, buddy, let's buckle you in first, and then I'll check it," she thanked him. It still amazed her how Will, a baby a few months back, was now a kid with a personality of his own, and how he was able to interact with the people around him. And he was only two years old.

He would be going to daycare in a few weeks and María thought she was really going to miss him. She had been postponing it since his first birthday and finally she had gathered the courage to let him go. "It'll be good for him to be with other kids, and I'll have more time to work," she kept saying to herself in an effort to convince herself that she had made the right decision after months of hesitation.

She had been working from home since Will had been born. She was in charge of the accounting and finance department of Riggins' Rigs, which was now a well established business with two shops. Finally her Major in Business had ended up being useful, as she had predicted in her early days of college. Until Will started crawling and eventually walking, she had managed to work from home easily, taking advantage of the time the baby was sleeping or playing in his playpen. But it had gotten harder when he had started moving all over the house. Naturally curious, she had to keep a close eye on him as he started opening cupboards, touching plugs and wires... Any child safety devices his parents kept installing non-stop proved to be useless, and María usually found herself dropping him off at her parents' if they were home and running to the garage, or working late at nights, when everybody was asleep. Hopefully, that would change soon with daycare.

Once Will was secured in his seat, María sat down behind the wheel and checked her phone.

"That was grandma. Remember those friends I always tell you about, Matt and Julie? That live in Chicago and have a little girl your same age, Lorraine? They're coming to the barbecue tomorrow."

Eric, Tami and Gracie Bell Taylor had just moved back to Dillon from the east coast a few months back. Once more Coach Taylor was the head Coach of the Dillon Panthers and Mac McGill was the offensive coordinator, just like old times. After their wedding and during the time the Taylors had been living away, Matt and Julie, living in Chicago, had not set foot in Dillon as his grandmother had died right after they were married.

All those years María had been in contact with Julie by emails and phone calls, but she had just seen them once in New York three years before. The Rigginses had flown over to attend the network Christmas party and Matt and Julie were in the city on vacation for a few days before heading over to the Taylors'. They called Jason Street and the three couples met for dinner at a fancy restaurant downtown. A photo of that night sat in María's desk at home, along with the ones of Will's christening, her wedding and that picture of Billy, Tim and herself taken the day she had learnt to swim when she was five years old that had been on all her desks since she had gone to Florida at fourteen.

Mac was hosting a barbecue the following day to mark the tenth anniversary of the State game they lost against the undefeated South Texas Titans after a close game and a great second half. As he often liked to say, that day they all won a lot more than a football game and he wanted to celebrate it by bringing together all the people that had been in that locker room in Austin listening to Coach Taylor after the game. María could still hear Eric's words clearly and she had borne them in mind all those years, especially when things did not turn out the way she had expected.

As one of the captains of that team, Matt was one of the first ones to know about the event, and Julie had told María the week before that they would do their best to be there, and apparently they were going to make it. She was really looking forward to seeing them.

As María started the engine of her SUV, put the gear in reverse and left the parking lot for the main road, she saw Will falling asleep through the rearview mirror. As she came to a stop at a red traffic light, Jack's words suddenly came to her mind.

Always too busy since she had left home for college nearly ten years before, she had never really stopped to think about all the things she had already achieved at twenty eight. But Jack's comment had brought back memories of the time she had been dangerously close to lose everything she had been working so hard for all her life.

"Oh, Jack, if you only knew... you have no idea what I went through those last months in college," she thought to herself strongly gripping the wheel, waiting for the light to turn green. It still amazed her that she had been able to pull out from that rabbit hole almost unscarred.

She remembered then that Thanksgiving break her fist year in college, when she had offered Tami to run an errand and had ended up kissing Billy in his truck. Then images of Billy seeing her off at Midland airport at the end of that same weekend rushed her mind. She could clearly hear his words when they had agreed on a long distance relationship, and feel again butterflies in her stomach as she vividly recalled it. One could say that had been the beginning of adulthood for her.

Now it all seemed to be ages ago, a completely different life. She then came to realize the reason she had been so excited lately about the barbecue. The following day she would finally have the chance to spend some time with most of the people that were part of that previous life. A deep feeling of nostalgia washed over her, and as she quietly drove home through the outskirts of Dillon, she took her time to review the main moments and choices that had led her to the present day.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

After four hectic weeks of finals and two important golf tournaments, in which once more she had played a decisive role for her team, María was finally heading home for Christmas. She had not seen Billy since that afternoon at Midland airport at the end of Thanksgiving break, but she had been so busy that time had seemed to fly by, and she had barely had the chance to miss him. It had definitely helped that they had talked on the phone on a daily basis, sometimes just a two minute call between classes or on her way to the dorms from the range, and emails and texts had also been sent and eagerly awaited by both of them. Although they did not know it back then, during those first four weeks they had settled the foundations of their long distance relationship, as that was pretty much what they should expect for the following four years at least.

John and Annie were still together and thus María and Bradley kept sharing the same dorm room. But the way María felt about it had radically changed since she had come back from Thanksgiving break. Once she was with Billy she did not feel that compelling need to keep Bradley at arm's length anymore. She was much relaxed around him and as a result of that they had ended up spending together all her spare time, much to his delight.

Bradley had also noticed the shift in María's behavior and warmly welcomed the change. His feelings for her had not changed a bit since he had fully shared them with her nearly two months before, but he had learnt to hide them and be just a friend despite them long ago and he cherished the possibility of getting back to the point they were at during the previous summer in Dillon.

Unlike Thanksgiving, this time Bradley was also heading home and María was riding with him. Conversation easily flowed as soon as they left the campus behind.

"Happy to go home?" Bradley asked keeping his gaze on the road.

"Yes, you?" María answered looking at him. She would be going to her family ranch in Dallas in three days but she had insisted on going home for such a short time instead of waiting for her parents to pick her up in Austin on their way to the ranch. It was a lot of miles to do in a few days but if that meant that she could spend as much time as possible with Billy, let be it.

"Yeah... Any special plans for the break?"

She shrugged. "Not really, just going to the ranch and telling my parents about Billy. The rest is pretty much open..."

"Are you doing it together? Telling them?" Bradley curiously asked again, this time briefly diverting his eyes from the windscreen of his SUV to look at her. It still amazed him the way her face would always light up at the mere mention of Billy. And there it was again, that bright smile on her face, fully reaching her green eyes.

"Yeah, kind of... It's my dad and Billy's football night and I'll talk to my mom while Billy tells him..." she explained, totally oblivious to the effect her smile had on Bradley.

"That's a ballsy thing to do, I admire him for that. You must be really special..." Bradley said keeping his gaze on the road and thinking, not for the first time, that Billy Riggins was a lucky guy. He just wished Billy also thought that and acted accordingly. He did not know if he would be able to deal with a heart-broken María living in the same dorm room with him.

María shrugged again, blushing this time. "I guess so. He insisted on telling him himself out of respect from the beginning... What about you? Any plans?" she asked. As usual, she was intrigued about the life Bradley led when they were not together.

He slightly shook his head. "No, not really. Spending time with the family I guess..."

"And Alice?" she added mischievously.

"Yeah, probably," he hesitated.

"Come on, Bradley, probably?" She chuckled placing her right elbow on the passenger door and turning in her seat to look right at him.

He noticed her gaze on him. "Yeah, probably... It's not that we're in love or anything... Honestly, we haven't made any plans together. Will we be seeing each other? Yeah, quite likely, but I don't really know..." he rambled, visibly uncomfortable, his eyes fixed on the road in front of them.

María noticed it, and shifted again, looking to the outskirts of Austin through her window, trying to give him some space. "Okay, I didn't intend to pry... It's just I hope you don't become a stranger until we go back to college..."

"Hey, María, you have the chance to be with Billy for two weeks. Well, that minus the time you'll be at the ranch. I'm sorry to break this to you but it's not that you'll be seeing much of each other till next break. I don't wanna intrude..." he said in a soft voice.

"Hey, you'd never be intruding..." María complained seeking his gaze, still fixed on the road.

"Plus Tim will also be home for Christmas. I totally understand you want to be with them..." Bradley trailed off.

María sighed. "Bradley, of course I want to be with them, especially with Billy, but I also want to be with you. Sometimes you seem to forget that we are friends, and not only when we are in our dorm..." It bothered her that once at home he would be keeping his distance, like when they spent time with Tyra or John and Annie. He seemed to be transformed every time they walked out of their room and someone else was with them.

On this occasion, he did divert his eyes from the road and look at her for a second. "No, believe me, I don't forget it. It's just that you should spend as much time as possible with Billy. We have plenty of time to catch up back in Austin..." He did his best to sound convincing, but somehow María was not buying it.

"Ok, if you say so... Thanks," she mumbled.

Bradley was well aware that he had not convinced María, but he could not tell her the truth. He will be avoiding her while in Dillon because it was easier to keep his feelings in check that way. He had to live with the fact that they were just friends and that there was no hope for him to be anything else as long as she was in love with Billy, so the more he stuck to his college best friend and roommate role, the better. And if that implied not seeing her on breaks, well, be that as it may.

Billy was both excited and nervous as he was driving to María's that evening. He was excited because it had been four weeks since he had seen her off at Midland airport and he was eager to see her after all their phone calls, texts and emails. His feelings for her had deepened since they were together and he really longed to spend time with her.

And he was nervous because he was finally telling Mac that he was dating his daughter. Well, what he really intended to tell him was that he was in love with María and that his intentions were good. But Mac had been his football Coach while he was in High School and he had known him since he was a toddler, as Sue's father had been a regular at the driving range and golf course. Mac knew him well, maybe even better that his own brother, and there was no way Billy could fool him. He just hoped Mac would not get too upset by the news and would give him a chance.

As soon as Billy rang the bell, María opened the door. She had kept herself busy around the hallway as she wanted to be the one to open the door so she could have a few seconds with Billy alone. She stepped aside to let him in.

"Hi Billy," she whispered as she leant in for a hug as soon as he was inside. Billy embraced her and kissed her on her forehead. "Hey beautiful," he mumbled in her ear. María took a quick look at the end of the hallway, and not noticing any of her parents coming, softly kissed his lips.

Billy refrained himself from kissing her back and just held her closer. "Behave, we'll have plenty of time for that..." he softly whispered as he let her go off his arms.

"Ok, ready?" she said smiling brightly. She had been willing to tell her parents as soon as she knew they would be doing the long distance relationship thing, and not being able to tell them in person was the only reason they had delayed it until Christmas break. Finally the time had come.

Billy took a deep breath. "Yeah, you?"

"Sure! He's waiting for you in the living room," she said squeezing his hand and entering the kitchen.

He could hear her while he headed for the living room. "Mom, Billy's here. You have a minute while they watch football?"

Mac was rummaging among his wide collection of football video tapes and raised his hand as he saw Billy by the door, wordlessly asking him to join him. "Hi Riggs, You remember that great game y'all played against Arnott Meade, that you scored three touchdowns?"

Billy cleared his throat. Apparently Mac was in a good mood, which he read as a good sign. "Good evening Coach. '97, and it was just two touchdowns, actually..."

"Who cares? You were superb that day…" Mac said picking up the tape and gesturing Billy to sit on the couch. "I thought we can watch it."

"Thank you Coach," Billy distractedly said sitting on his usual spot on the sofa. He was trying to decide whether it would be a good idea to watch the game tape first or talk to Mac right away. It did not take him long to realize there was no point in pushing it back. "Wasn't I eager to tell him? Well, this is it," he thought to himself. Plus, what if María and Sue joined them in the living room and he had not told him yet? "That would be awkward."

Billy cleared his throat again, gaining Mac´s attention. "Coach, can I talk to you for a second?"

Mac looked at him and paused the video tape, frowning. Billy seemed to be worried. "Sure, son. What's up?" he asked.

Billy's heart sank when he heard Mac call him "son". He wondered if he would keep calling him that after knowing what he was about to tell him. So he took a deep breath and started talking, locking eyes with Mac.

"Coach, you know I've known your daughter for a very long time now and …"

"María?" Mac interrupted him, surprised that Billy had brought her up. "She's here, you know? She arrived a few hours ago…"

"I know, Coach. Just seen her, actually she opened the door for me…" Billy said trying to get back on track. He could not believe he had rehearsed in his mind what he wanted to tell Mac so many times and now he felt he had lost his train of thought.

Completely foreign to Billy's current thoughts, Mac kept talking about María. He was really proud of her. "Oh, Riggs, she's doing great. You know she´s played in UT lineup in all the events? And her grades, she's in for a double major…"

Billy smiled. Mac was beaming about María, and he had a lot of reasons to be. But without knowing it, he was making it harder for Billy to tell him about them as a couple. One thing was being football buddies with him, one of his former players, but a totally different one was him dating his golden daughter. Billy had no doubt that he was way far from what he expected for her.

"I know, Coach, she's really great." Billy sighed and kept talking. "You've known me for a long time too, since I was very young. You've seen me at my best and also at my very worst…."

That last line started to worry Mac. "Son, what're you getting at? Come on, spill it out, you know I'll help you whatever it is…"

"I know, Coach, and I'm really grateful for having you in my life all these years. I don't know where I'd be if… Well, that is not what I'm trying to tell you now, but it's the truth…" Billy sighed again and braced himself for impact. This was harder than he had expected it to be. "The thing is, María and I are together since Thanksgiving, sir." Seeing that Mac was not saying anything, he carried on. "We haven't seen each other for four weeks but we're doing the long distance thing…"

"You… you what? You what?" Mac managed to ask, frowning.

"I'm dating María, Coach. I love her, and I still can't believe it sometimes, but she loves me back. My intentions are good, and we don't want to be sneaking around. We'd like to have your blessing…" Billy explained.

Mac nodded slightly, and Billy hoped he was not too upset about the idea of them together. But Mac's next words brought him back to reality. "Riggs, tell me something, how old are you? If I'm not mistaken, you're twenty five years old..."

"Actually, twenty six, sir…" Billy mumbled. That question gave him a very clear idea about Mac's current thoughts. He had completely misread his previous nod.

"Riggs, how old's my daughter? Mac asked again, keeping his voice calm.

"She's eighteen, sir…" Billy mumbled again, lowering his gaze.

"That's right, she's eighteen…" Mac slowly repeated.

This was going much worse than the worst scenario Billy had anticipated, so he decided to forget about his rehearsed speech and try and tell Mac what he felt. He took a deep breath and locked eyes with him.

"Coach, I know I'm more than seven years her senior. I'm well aware she's a rising golf star and I'm a loser. I know she's due for a great life out of Dillon and I'm lucky to be stuck here with my business running… Believe me, all those thoughts have never left my mind, first when I realized how I felt about her and months later, when I found out she felt the same way…"

Feeling that Billy might be misreading him, Mac felt the need to interrupt him. "Riggs…"

"No, please, Coach, let me finish… You know we've been close friends growing up, I'd never hurt her. It's not like I want to get her in the back seat of my truck… I wouldn't be here telling you if that were the case… Hell, I'd never choose her for that in the first place…. I love María, and I want to become a better man for her. I know I've very little to offer her, but I'm working hard on changing that. I wanted to tell you out of respect, sir. My intentions are good, they really are…" Billy felt he was rambling. He was not expecting fireworks or something like that when Mac heard the news, but this was far worse than he had expected.

Mac felt the need to say something, yet he did not know what to say. "Okay…."

"Okay? You just said okay?" Billy hopefully asked. Maybe he had been finally able to convey the way he felt about María.

"Yeah, Riggs, if you're done now, maybe we can watch that game…"

Well, apparently he had not. "Sure, Coach…" He tried to focus on the game on the screen and thanked God that this was not one of those times that he would stay for a late dinner, too. He just hoped María's chat with her mother was going better than the one he had just had with her father.

Mac and Billy watched the game quietly, both their minds far away from it. María and Sue joined them in the living room for the last minutes of the second half. Their talk had been quite long and Billy wondered again if it had gone well, as from his spot on the couch he could not see their faces clearly.

By the time the game was coming to an end, Mac was starting to regret the way he had reacted to Billy's words. Of course the news had surprised them, but that was no reason to shut down Billy like he had. And Billy was feeling so bad that he could not wait to hop in his truck and get some fresh air, he did not care where, as long as he would not feel Mac's eyes fixed on him. But he had to talk to María first.

"I better get going, have an early start tomorrow," he said getting up from the couch once the game was finished, addressing both Mac and Sue.

"Sure, Riggs, thanks for coming," Mac nodded from the sofa, not knowing what else to say.

"No, thank you for everything Coach. And thanks Mrs. McGill."

"You're welcome, Billy," Sue said smiling, suddenly noticing the frown on her husband's face.

"Don't worry, Mom, I'll see him to the door," María quickly said following Billy out of the room.

As soon as they were in the hallway, María put her arm around his waist and leant in to kiss him. Instead of kissing her back, like he wanted to, he hugged her and whispered in her ear. "Wait till we're outside." María looked at him confused and managed to open the main door keeping her arm around him. As they started walking down the driveway towards Billy's truck, María tightened her grip on his waist. By then she could guess that the talk between Billy and her dad had not gone well. She could not imagine any other explanation for his reaction to her kiss after not seeing each other for four weeks.

When they reached his truck, he faced her and cupped her face, kissing her softly. "It's so good to see you, I've missed you M," he said between kisses.

"I've missed you too, Billy," she whispered while she leant her back on the passenger door, placing her hands around his neck and gently pushing his body against hers, relieved to see that he was back to his usual self.

"M, we're right on your driveway, your parents…" he said trying to step back.

"They know now, Billy, we don't have to hide for a kiss…" María whispered keeping her hold around his neck, not willing to let him go.

"I'm sure it's gonna look like more than a kiss to them, M. And I'm positive they aren't happy right now, so we shouldn't…" he trailed off.

María tilted her head and looked at him. "What do you mean? It didn't go well with my dad?"

Billy shook his head, stepped back and fixed his gaze on her. "I'm afraid not, M. Let's say he's not exactly thrilled to know that his golden daughter is dating a loser, and that's putting it mildly…"

"Don't say that, Billy…" There it was again, that feeling of not measuring up. "I'm sorry. Was it really that bad?" she asked stepping in again.

"Honestly? Don't know, M," he shrugged. "He just shut down and didn't say two words in a row after pointing out our age difference…" he explained framing her face and softly caressing her cheeks again.

He was worried and María felt it at once. She tried to comfort him in the only way she could. "Maybe he was just surprised, Billy, that doesn't sound like my dad at all…" she said resting her hands on his chest, her back still on the door of his truck.

"Yeah, maybe you're right…" Billy mumbled. He did not want her to be upset about it. "How'd it go with your mom?" he inquired. "It can't be worse," he sadly thought to himself.

María smiled and a sense a relief washed over him. It seemed that at least one of her parents was supporting her on this.

"It went well, Billy, pretty well, I think. She was surprised at first, but she trusts you. Well, she trusts us for that matter. It was a long talk and I think she's happy that I came to talk to her…" Her green eyes were bright with joy and he held her closer to kiss her again.

"That's great María, I'm happy for you, for us…" he said breaking the kiss, touching her forehead with his, their eyes still closed.

She nodded and opened her eyes. "I know… We even talked about sex… She's gonna get me that prescription…"

Billy chuckled, tilting his head and looking at her. "M, I don't think that we'll need it any time soon. We've talked about this, there's a lot of …"

She could feel a fierce blush creeping up her cheeks. "I know, I know, a lot of things we can start with… I just want to be ready, don't wanna go running to the team doctor last minute. I've seen that happen, you know…"

"Trust me, that's not gonna happen…" he whispered softly tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, fixing her eyes on his. "I know. It's just that I like to feel that I'm… we're prepared… It's so good to be here with you," she said hiding her face on his chest, her favorite place in the world, hugging him again and trying to forget about her dad's reaction.

Billy sighed. "You too, M. Any plans for tomorrow?" he asked softly stroking her hair.

She chuckled against the fabric of his shirt. She could not believe that after four long weeks she would be able to see him on a daily basis, except the days she would be in Dallas. "No, just spending time with my gorgeous boyfriend, as much as we can…" she whispered, her voiced muffled.

Billy broke the embrace and looked at her. Sometimes he still could not believe that she was in love with him, and not for the first time he wished it would last. He was well aware that he was far from being perfect and feared that María would notice it sooner or later. Once that Tim apparently was settled in college, among all his own share of fears and uncertainties disappointing María had become the worst and strongest. He did his best to ignore those negative thoughts. "Well, then, maybe we can have lunch together, once you've seen that boyfriend of yours…" he joked.

Maria nodded, wide smile on her face. "Yeah, you should meet him sometime, he's awesome…"

"I'm sure he doesn't measure up to you…." he said shaking his head and reaching to hold her hand.

There it was again, that deeply rooted thought in him in which she was perfect and he was a hot-headed guy who did not measure up to any standard and always made bad choices. No matter how often María tried to reassure him, it always surfaced. "Billy, don't say that… Please don't… not even joking… It's not true…"

"Okay, won't say it again, promise. Lunch tomorrow, then? You come by the garage and we'd figure out something depending on how much time I have?" he asked squeezing her hand.

"Sounds like a plan, Billy. But I want a proper good night kiss now, driveway or not driveway…" she whispered looking at him intently.

"You're insatiable… You know that, right?" he said leaning in for a kiss, holding her closer.

"You wish…." she playfully whispered before his lips met hers.

The following morning Billy had just had a quick breakfast before heading to the car shop when he heard a knock on the door. He had a few cars coming in that day and he wanted to try and work in advance in order to have as much time as possible to spend with María. Plus Tim would be coming home from San Antonio sometime in the afternoon and he wanted to spend time with him, too. Wondering who could be that early in the morning, and hoping that whoever it was would not keep him long, he run to open the door to find Mac McGill on his doorstep.

Both hands on his waist, Mac was the first to talk. "Good morning Riggs. Can I talk to you for a minute? Hope it's not too early…"

"Morning Coach. It isn't, I was just heading for work. Come on in, please…" he said suddenly remembering his good manners. "Have a seat. Anything to drink? Coffee, soda, water…"

"No, I'm good son," Mac said sitting on the couch, glad to see that the house seemed to be in a better condition than the last time he had been there, a few years ago. Billy did not miss the word "son". Maybe María had been right and he was not too mad about them after all. "Maybe, just maybe, there's a glimmer of hope," he thought to himself, trying to hide from Mac how nervous he was.

With no further ado, Mac started talking. "I just wanted to apologize. It was wrong to react the way I did yesterday…"

"That's fine, Coach," Billy said trying to calm his racing heart.

Mac shook his head. "No, it's far from fine. I couldn't have mishandled it any worse, and I apologize. I jumped to conclusions based on clichés instead of listening to you and thanking you for telling me. And you didn't say a word. You stayed and watched football with me as if nothing had happened…"

"Coach…" Billy tried to chim in, but Mac kept talking.

"I'm sorry. It took me by surprise." He sighed trying to find the right words."Not too long ago I told Sue we'd done our job raising up María and it was time to let her fly solo, as I was sure she's perfectly capable of choosing her friends. And she's chosen you, to be more than a friend. So,… what can I say? Thanks for telling me."

Billy felt a lump in his throat. "No, thank you, sir."

"All right, all right. Just a quick word of advice, now. I'm sure there's no need for me to say this, but I feel I have to say it…" Mac sighed again. "Please don't hurt her…"

"Coach, I'd never…"

Mac raised his hands. "I know, I know… You'd never hurt her on purpose, of course I know that. But sometimes we can hurt somebody unintentionally. You and I know about life, the circumstances, the choices we made, … it all counts. She's young, Riggs, you're gonna be her role model in many ways… Just help her grow up, like you've done before, just now more… let's say… more closely…" He added the last line visibly uncomfortable. "God, I can't believe I'm having this conversation… Don't get me wrong, it's not you, not at all, it's just that I have to get used to my little girl not being a little girl anymore… Anyway, please keep that in mind, will you?"

Billy nodded. "Of course, sir. I know I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of.… But I want to become a better man for her, I really mean it," he calmly stated.

"Okay, we're on the same page then," Mac said getting up from the couch. "Don't wanna keep you, I know you're busy, Riggs. See you later if you come to pick up María?"

"Sure, Coach. And thanks again, I won't let you down," Billy said opening the door with his left hand and extending his right one in front of Mac, who shook hands with him.

"Later, Riggs."

As soon he closed the door after his former coach, Billy sighed relieved. He wanted to scream with joy, in fact he was positive that if Mac was not walking to his car down his driveway all the neighborhood would know by now how happy he was. But not wanting María's dad to hear him, he just fished his cell phone out of his pocket and wrote a text. "Maybe, just maybe, I'm finally cutting down on impulsiveness," he thought to himself amused.

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, DIC 22 2008, 7:16 A.M.: Morning beautiful! Ur dad just came by my place. He's on board! You've no idea how happy I'm right now… See you later!

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, DIC 22 2008, 7:18 A.M.: Morning handsome! That's great, can't wait to see you. Later!

That day Billy and María had lunch together in the small office of the garage, surrounded by all kinds of paperwork. Presuming that Billy would not have much time, she had gone by the Alamo Freeze and grabbed a bite for both of them. It turned out to be a good idea as it let them spend most of his lunch break kissing each other in the back of the shop. Reluctant to leave but knowing that Billy had work to do and not wanting to be a bad influence, all María could think when she was driving home was that she would be seeing him that night, on a proper date for the first time, no less.

She spent most of the afternoon making up her mind about what to wear, taking her time to get ready. And as Billy had told Mac in the morning, he went to pick María up after work. Dressed in his best jeans and shirt and not wanting to seem rude, instead of waiting for her in his truck Billy knocked on their door. Mac and Sue were home and they warmly welcomed him, and made him come in for a drink. One thing led to another and to another, and although Billy and María had been planning on a movie and dinner, a real date, they ended up having dinner and watching old football games with her parents.

And the same happened the following day. Too worried to cause a good impression on María's parents, Billy would just agree with them on every suggestion they had, even if it was a late game of Scrabble after family dinner. María was well aware of how Billy deeply cared about her parents' opinion about him, and how important it was to him to have their blessing, but frustration and even some disappointment were beginning to wear on her. Just sharing a quick lunch and making out for twenty minutes among car parts right afterwards was not how she had pictured spending time with his boyfriend on Christmas break. She could not help but think that they shared more quality time on the phone or even by email when she was in Austin than now that she was in Dillon. Confused and overwhelmed, and afraid to hurt Billy's feelings if she said something, she shielded her frustration as well as she could and began to look forward to going to the ranch for a few days.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after their second "home date", as María was starting to call them whenever she thought about those evenings and nights spent at her home with her parents, she went out for a run with Tim. Having arrived home from college one day after her, they had not met yet.

"Hey, Mars. Good to see you," Tim hugged her, really pleased to see her. During the last months he had gone through hell in college, plus breaking up with Lyla, and María had been there for him no matter how far and how busy she was. He was positive there was no way he would ever been able to thank her enough for what she had done for him.

"Hi Timmy. You too. You look great, by the way. Things must be going better in college…" she hugged him back, happy to see that apparently he was doing better. She really wished he would settle in San Antonio State. First and foremost, for him, because getting an education would definitely make a difference in his life and his chances to have a better future that the one he had envisioned for himself during his years in high school. And also for Billy, as she knew firsthand he had done his best for eight years to try and put him into college seeking a better life for his little brother.

"They are, thanks to you," Tim nodded, breaking the embrace to look at her. "Seriously, thank you. I owe you."

"Hey, you owe me nothing!" María said as they started running.

They ran their usual distance, went for a shower to their respective homes and met for breakfast in Applebee's afterwards. María arrived first and was having a look at the menu when Tim came into the restaurant. As soon as he sat in the booth in front of her he started talking, cutting straight to the point.

"Sorry I'm late. Car trouble. Care to share what's up with you?" he demanded.

"What do you mean?" María asked back raising her gaze from the menu to look at him.

"My truck wouldn't start..." he casually answered.

She chuckled. "I know what car trouble means, Timmy, thank you very much… You asked what's up with me?" She was taken aback by his question, as she thought that she was doing a pretty good job hiding her growing disappointment and frustration. Not even Billy or her parents had noticed anything; otherwise they would have asked her by now.

"Yeah, exactly. What's up with you?" he asked again taking the menu from her hands. He thought that maybe if he did not look directly at her she would feel more comfortable to talk. At least that happened to him sometimes. So he pretended to be focused on the menu instead of her answer.

María shrugged. "Nothing, just hungry." If she was being able to hide it from Billy and her parents, she could very well conceal it from Tim, too. "It should be even easier," she thought.

"Come on Mars, something's bugging you…" he stated right before the waitress, a new girl none of them knew, came up to their booth to take their order. The fact that María ordered an unusual amount of food just confirmed his suspicions.

"Don't know what you're talking about Timmy…" she said as soon as the waitress left, silently hoping she could convince Tim.

But he was not buying it. "You're clearly worried about something. Maybe frustrated, too? The way you just ran a while ago, and the amount of food you just ordered …" he explained crossing his arms and resting his back on the back of the booth, locking eyes with her, making it clear that he was waiting for an answer.

Definitely he was not dropping it and María tried to play it down. "I'm fine, Timmy. And hungry. We just ran five miles, remember? Thanks for your concern, though…"

Suddenly a thought crossed Tim's mind. María and Billy had been finally spending some time together since Thanksgiving. One could say these were their first days as a couple. Billy had shared with him how happy he was, but maybe María wasn't? Could that be it?

"Trouble in paradise? Already?" Tim blurted out.

"Timmy… I'm fine, really…" she said while she thought "Am I really that readable?"

"What'd he do?" he whispered getting closer, thinking that he had probably hit the nail.

"Timmy…" she mumbled placing her hand on his forearm, her eyes begging him to drop it. She still had to come to terms with the fact that she was disappointed and frustrated before sharing it with someone else, let alone with Billy's brother, no matter how close a friend he was.

Noticing her silent plea, he felt bad for pushing it. "Hey, sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable… Don't wanna pry… Word of advice?" he said in a low voice.

María gulped. This was not the first time she was getting relationship advice from Tim, and she had to acknowledge that he had usually been right, much to her surprise. Plus she had a feeling that Tim was willing to advise her no matter what she said. "Sure…"

"If he's done something, or hasn't done something that he should've done, just tell him Mars…" he seriously said.

"Tell him?" she asked surprised, overlooking the fact that it was obvious, wasn't it? How many times she had heard the words 'Maybe you should talk to him/her, tell him/her how you feel, otherwise he/she's gonna sense something is off…' Well, she had even said it herself to her friends, the last one Julie, when Matt was going away to college in Chicago. "Why do I see it so clearly when I am not the one involved?" she asked herself realizing that Tim was right once more.

"Yeah… Sounds crazy, but sometimes we don't know we've done something that upsets you. If you don't tell us, we won't know, and we won't able to fix it…" Tim stated, as if he were disclosing a universal truth.

"And by us and you, you mean…" María could not help asking back.

He stared at her in disbelief. "Men and women, Mars. You're the one majoring in Psychology, how come you don't know this…"

She laughed. "Yeah, well, I'll bear that in mind, doctor Riggins…"

If Tim did not know María well, he might think that she was not taking him seriously, or even worse, she was making fun of him. But he was certain that was not the case. So he carried on with the conversation determined to assist her like she had helped him with college recently, and also tutoring the previous year. "No, seriously, Mars, if Billy's done, or hasn't done something, any chance he doesn't know how you feel about it?"

Moved by Tim's genuine concern, María realized he could be right. Billy might not have a clue about what she thought about those home dates with her parents. She had not told him, and he had been really worried about her father's reaction to the whole thing. She nodded and smiled, suddenly feeling much better. "Yeah, yeah, maybe, …. maybe you're right. Thanks Timmy…." she wholeheartedly thanked him.

He smiled and winked. "Anytime."

After they finished breakfast, they left Applebee's and despite being an unusual cold morning in December, they spent the following hour and a half talking, first leaning casually on Mac's sedan trunk and then, when they both longed for a more comfortable position, sitting on Tim's truck open tailgate in the deserted parking lot. Bundled up in Tim's jacket to fight the cool breeze, María told him about the incoming months, how she felt it was going to be an acid test regarding both her relationship with Billy and her life in college. She shared that she had been doing great at golf but she feared that she could hit a bump on the road anytime, as it was difficult to keep up playing so well and avoid the risk of injuries, a factor of which account should be taken when playing under so much pressure.

And in relation to Billy, she said that regardless of small misunderstandings, she was head over heels in love with him, and she was positive it was going to be hard not seeing him for a few months. "I hope I will be able to come home for spring break, at least," she added. She even confided his worst fears to Tim, sharing that she dreaded that that long separation could take a toll on Billy's feelings. "I have my life in college, Timmy. It's a hectic and demanding life but I still like it. And by the end of the day I'm so exhausted that the only thing I want is to get a good rest to be able to do the same all over again the following day. No time for any kind of temptation. But Billy is here on his own. Of course he has his business and the job at the range on weekends, but now that football season is over he'll have spare time during the week, and I'm afraid he could…" She winced at her own fears, trying to choose the right words.

"Fall back into old habits?" Tim dared to phrase them for her, holding her gaze.

"Not just that… If he feels lonely he could look for company, you know…" she whispered.

Tim affectionately put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Come on, Mars, Billy would never do that to you… He's madly in love with you, in case you haven't noticed."

"I'm sure he'd never do it on purpose, but … I don't know, I guess we all have our fair share of fears… Please don't tell him, Timmy," she begged him and tried to change the topic. "Enough about me. What about you? Any southern beauty you should tell me about?"

"I won't, don't worry about that…Yeah, actually there is, and I could really use some advice…" Tim told her he had set his eyes on a certain girl in San Antonio State, but she seemed to be immune to his charms so far. "Just be yourself around her, Timmy. Although she's not into football players at all, I'm sure she'll like you if you give her the chance to know you. The real you, you know, not the one… well, you know what I mean… when you…" she stuttered trying not to hurt his feelings.

"Yeah, I get it… Thanks Mars," he thanked her, thinking that her chances with this girl in college were actually slim if even his female best friend thought that he behaved as an asshole sometimes.

Once she got in her father's car after talking to Tim, María decided to go to the garage and talk to Billy if he was not too busy. She truly considered that Tim had been right to point out that maybe Billy was completely oblivious to her thoughts about their "home dates", and she felt the sudden urge to clear the air with him. "The sooner, the better." She would be gone to the ranch for a week the following day, and although she would be in Dillon for three days after that before going back to Austin, she was already worried about not seeing Billy for months after the break. She did not want any additional pressure on their newly established relationship.

Once she was in the car shop, she waved to Peter Hernandez, who was in the small office, and noticed Billy's legs sticking out from under a shiny silver Tahoe. Getting closer quietly, she reached out with a foot and gently tapped one of his boots.

"Hey Billy."

As he heard her voice, he quickly pulled himself out from under the SUV, careful not to hit his head, and widely smiled at her.

"Hey yourself. Need car service?" he asked sitting up, wiping his hands off with a white rag.

"Nah… I need to talk to you, if you're not too busy…" She tried to make it sound normal, but she did not miss the sudden fear that crossed his face for a second as she spoke.

"I'm never busy for you… Just let me wash my hands and meet me in the back? Peter's in the office right now…" he said trying to calm his racing heart.

"Sure…"

Once in the back, María just had time to lean on a workbench as Billy arrived right after her. Truly worried about the reason she could have to show up unexpectedly in the garage by mid-morning, when they were meeting for lunch in less than two hours, he washed his hands as quickly as he could and rushed into the back. All his self-doubt surfaced during those seconds, and afraid that she might be second guessing about them now that they were spending more time together, he decided he had to remind her about how much he cared for her before letting her speak.

So as soon as he entered the back and closed the door after him, he held her close and started kissing her.

"Thanks for coming, I was missing you too…" he whispered between kisses, pushing her against the workbench. "Billy,.. it's not that… I need to talk to …" she managed to say, but the way he was kissing her was completely distracting her. After lingering in his kisses for a few minutes she framed his face and locked eyes with him.

"Billy, please, it's important," she simply stated. "I'm sure it can wait..." he mumbled kissing her again, fear still washing over him. Next thing María noticed was that he was nibbling a certain spot on her neck, and all she wanted him to do was to start taking off some of her clothes, but she had not come for that. Taking a deep breath she suddenly took both his hands in hers and made him step back softly pushing on his shoulders.

"Billy, it's important," she repeated, a little bit slower this time. She could see the confusion and worry on his face, so she rested both of her hands on his chest and smiled. "I really liked that, but I have to tell you something."

"Okay, sorry, I'm listening. Something's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"I wouldn't say wrong, Billy. It's just…" She took his hand in hers. "Spending time at home with my parents is not what I expected for us…" she softly said.

"What do you mean?" He was suddenly confused. Wasn't that what she wanted? Her parents on board?

"I know that you care about what my parents think about us, I do too… but we don't have to spend most our time together with them…" she trailed off still holding his hand.

"Hold on, hold on a sec… I thought that was important to you…" Billy said confused while he let go of her hand and placed both his hands on both sides of her waist.

"Sure it's important, but that doesn't mean we have to be with them all the time… In fact, I don't want us to," she clarified, unconsciously stepping back from his hold, trying to find the strength to confront Billy in case he was still willing to spend time with Mac and Sue on a daily basis. María suddenly realized that he had gone from playing a big brother role to being her boyfriend, and she had never felt the need to contradict him until now. Definitely, she was not comfortable doing it.

María's step back both annoyed and worried Billy, as he took it as plain rejection towards him. He took a deep breath, trying to keep calm. "How did this happen? I thought we were both happy…" He felt there was so much at stake. "M, we are not with them all the time… Anyway, I thought you wanted this…"

But María's next words just made him feel worse. "No, I don't… And yes, we are, the only time we spend alone is here, on your lunch break, and that's not what I want…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked scratching the back of his neck, increasingly concerned. And visibly upset. One of his worst nightmares was finally coming true: María felt he was not good enough for her. "I should've known this would happen, sooner or later…"

"Billy…" María tried to play it down taking a step towards him and reaching for his hands. She could sense he was falling into that familiar feeling of not living up to the expectations, and that was the last thing she intended. "Maybe I'm being too blunt," she thought to herself.

"No, just… answer the question," he said placing his hands on his hips, avoiding her touch. This time it was he who stepped back, holding her gaze. His body language spoke volumes.

Thinking that this was getting out of hand, María took another step forward but did not try to touch him again. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat and started talking, keeping her voice calm. "Billy, I just want to be with you. Not only for lunch, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have lunch with you every day, but I want more. And not with my parents present. Is it so hard to understand?"

Billy sighed, fighting the impulse to kiss her and pin her against the wall. Instead, he shoved his hands in his working overall pockets. "M, I thought we'd agreed to take things slow…"

She chuckled. She thought she was being crystal clear, but apparently she was not. "Billy, this has nothing to do with that. I'm not telling you that I want to sleep with you, which I really want to, by the way, but that is not the point…"

"What's the point, then?" Billy tiredly asked, completely at a loss, overlooking the fact that she had just admitted that she was willing to have sex.

"Are you aware that we haven't gone on a date yet?" she asked back, raising one eyebrow.

This time it was Billy who could not suppress a chuckle. "M, we're a little bit grown up for that, don't you think?" he retorted.

María just could not believe where this conversation was headed, and she wished she could somehow rewind it. "Really? 'Cause last time I checked I was eighteen. What are we supposed to do, then Billy? There's a wide range of things we can do together apart from having dinner with my parents every day or jumping on your bed, which seem to be your only choices…" She could feel she was about to lose her patience, and Billy noticed it, too.

"Hey, M, listen…" This time it was Billy who reached for her hand, trying to calm her down. She kept talking, intertwining her fingers with his.

"I just want to spend time with you, just you, Billy. I don't care if it is in your house, your truck, Applebee's, the range, the course, the movies, here… I just want to be with you, alone, and I really don't care what we do..." she explained doing her best to keep her voice steady.

Billy could not stand it anymore. "M, hey, come here…" he said stepping in and hugging her. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, M. I had it all wrong… I thought you were happy doing that, but clearly you aren't. My bad..."

She hid her face on his chest. "It's Ok, I just wanna be with you, Billy. I'll be gone to Austin soon and probably we won't be seeing each other in months, and I don't know how we're going to deal with that…"

He tilted his head so he could see her face. "Hey, don't think about that. You are here now, and you'll be here for another three days after you come back from Dallas…" he comforted her caressing her back under the hem of her t-shirt.

"I know, it's just it'll be a long time…" she sighed, keeping a tight grip on his waist, her voice muffled.

"Sshhhh. We'll figure it out, okay? Everything, together. All right?" he whispered in her ear.

She nodded on his chest. "Yeah,… Sorry for coming here unannounced while you're working, I felt I had to tell you…"

"I'm glad you did…" he mumbled against her temple, his hand still caressing her back.

"Shouldn't you go back?" María asked, suddenly worried about his work.

"Nah, not yet," he said taking her in his arms effortlessly to gently sit her on the workbench, kissing her the whole time.

It took him more than half an hour to get back to work, and that evening they met for a movie and pizza at Billy's, taking advantage of the fact that Tim was meeting some of his former teammates for drinks and would be home late. So by the time María left for the ranch the following morning, she felt she had finally shared some quality time with Billy, and she was happy, truly happy for the first time since Thanksgiving.

Once she was in Dallas, time flew by. And by the time she realized it, she found herself packing to go back to Austin. Just before leaving Dillon, Tami Taylor called her.

"Hi, Tami," María happily said as she saw the caller ID on her phone and clicked it open.

"Hi, girl. How are you?" Tami greeted her.

"Well, and you? How's Coach's aunt?" The Taylors were spending the whole Christmas break in Lubbock with Eric's family. One of his aunts was recovering from a recent heart attack and most of the family had gathered to be with her for the holiday. Due to that, María would not be seeing the Taylors at least until spring break, if she could make it home then.

"Oh, she's doing well, thank you. She still has a long road ahead, but you know how this goes, step by step… I'm sorry we didn't have the chance to meet while you are in Dillon, María. I know you're leaving today..."

"Yeah, Bradley'll pick me up in a while. I'm sorry, too. I'd really like to see y'all, but first things first," María said, making a quick mental note to write to Julie as soon as she had a chance. Matt had finally left for Chicago three weeks before Christmas, without saying good-bye, and Julie was not dealing well with it. "Who would," she thought.

"How´s life treating you? Oh, Lord, I'd really like to catch up with you, María…" Tami exclaimed.

"Me, too, Tami. Good, very good, I can't complain. College, golf, I'm working hard but the outcome is great so far. But I have to confess I'm not looking forward to going back to Austin…" she trailed off.

Tami could almost feel María's smile through the telephone line. "I'm glad everything's good, María… I wonder if a certain man has something to do with not looking forward to going back, by any chance…"

"Yes…" Had Tami had the chance to see María's face right then, she would have seen the way it brightly lit up at the mere thought of Billy. That very same light on her face that always amazed Bradley and made him wish he was the subject of her thoughts.

"How's that going, by the way?" Tami was really and genuinely intrigued by the way María and Billy were dealing with the long distance. She knew it was still too soon, as usually it got harder as time passed by, but she was curious anyway. She was really fond of María, and she wanted her to be happy.

"I think that superb does not begin to cover it…" María said with a dreamy voice, remembering their time together since she had come back from the ranch.

"That good, uh? That's great, girl!"

"Yeah… We had a weird couple of days at first but now…" María trailed off.

"What do you mean weird?" Tami asked concerned. She had always thought that María dealt with matters like an adult and that her parents should not be worried about her, but if there was a chance Tami could help María in any way, she was there for her, just like she had told her before going to college: I'll be just a phone call and email away.

"Oh, nothing to worry about, just a small misunderstanding. He thought I wanted something when it was quite the opposite…" Realizing how that sounded, María felt the need to clarify. "As my parents blessing was important to both of us, he thought I'd like to spend all our evenings and nights at home, with them… Can you believe that?"

"Oh, did he? That's cute, María, it really is…"

"Yeah, and we did the first two days I was home. After that I had to tell him that wasn't how I had pictured spending time with him…" María said remembering that awkward conversation in the back of the garage. She had always found Tami to be a very good listener, and she could recall how surprised she was by that when she met with her just after arriving in Dillon for her senior high school year. She was so easy to talk to, and that had not changed.

"I bet you weren't expecting that…" Tami said.

"You're right, I wasn't. In fact, I think I was expecting something completely different… Tami?" María's voice sounded worried all of a sudden.

"I'm right here, honey…"

María hesitated for a second, and finally decided on trusting Tami, like she had done during the last year. "You mind if I ask you a question, a personal one? I know maybe I should ask my mom, but honestly I don't want her to jump to conclusions, not yet…"

"Sure, María, just shoot…" Tami braced herself for impact. She knew for a fact that María had a tendency to surprise her.

"Do you often have the feeling that your husband seems to hear everything you say but in the end he just listens to a part of it? Oh, that just sounded… I mean no offense or disrespect, Tami…"

Tami chuckled. "None taken, honey… Welcome to our world…"

"Really?" María's eyes were wide open.

"Yeah, María, communication is paramount in a relationship, and yet sometimes it is so hard to get it straight, even after years… You just have to keep working on it," Tami explained.

"I know, but… I just thought that I'd be easier with Billy. After all, we've been friends since I can remember. Knowing each other like we do it shouldn't be difficult, should it?"

"That'll help for sure, María, but I bet things are different now, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they are." For a moment María considered sharing a further concern with Tami, directly linked to the one she had just voiced out. Since that conversation in the back of the car shop she had been worried about how hard she had found it to contradict Billy. Even more, not only to contradict him, but just to tell him what she wanted to do if it appeared to be different from what he wanted, plain and simple. It was like if his former role as her big brother, always advising her, teaching her new things, looking after her…, outweighed their current relationship. Their age gap was not helping, either. He had so much experience in everything that now that they had been spending time together she sometimes felt like a little girl beside him. That feeling that they were not peers was starting to root in her, but after a few seconds she decided against telling Tami. It was all brand new, and she needed to come to terms with it first.

So she quickly added a few words. "But despite that, I'm really happy."

"That's great, sweetheart… You know what? For a second there I thought you were going to ask me something sex related when you mentioned your mom…" Tami had expected a question in that regard, but, once more, María had surprised her. "No doubt she thinks like an adult."

"Oh, no, I wish but… I had to beg and practically bribe him to finally get to second base last night, so no worries on that front, at least for a few months I guess…" María casually said. After all, she was talking to one of her best friends, despite their generation gap and Tami being also a close friend of Sue's, María's mother. A strong friendship had been forged between Tami and María on the nights the latter spent at the Taylors while her father was hospitalized in critical condition, and it had not changed since she had gone off to college.

"Oh, that's good…" Tami could not help saying.

"Really? Not sure…" María really appreciated Billy's determination to take things slow, and she was well aware that it was not easy for him, but she hoped they would have done some progress by now. She had conflicting emotions about it, but all things considered that was the last of her concerns.

Tami chuckled. "Sorry, María, I was thinking as a mother of two girls, one of them a teenager just about your age… It's good to know there're still good men out there…"

"Yeah, you're right about that."

"But as an eighteen year old clearly in love with my boyfriend, like you are now and, believe it or not, I was once, that really sucks!" Tami exclaimed thinking how she would have felt if Eric had been stopping her instead of wanting to be with her when they were both eighteen. And what would her daughter Julie think if she had heard what she had just told María.

"Exactly!" María said glad to know that there was nothing strange in the way she felt in that regard.

By the time Tami and María had finished speaking on the phone, Bradley was parking his SUV on María's driveway. Both Mac and Sue were currently working, so this time there would be no big good-byes or tears leaving home. As soon as she exited the house through the main door pushing her suitcase, Bradley came out of the vehicle to help her.

"Hey," he said taking the suitcase from her hands and quickly turning around to open the trunk, deliberately keeping his distance.

"Hey, stranger. I was wondering if you'd even show up… No calls, no texts, not even emails… You've gone AWOL for the whole break…" she said heading for his car and opening the passenger door.

"Well, I'm here now, right?" he abruptly cut her off as he sat behind the wheel and buckled his seat belt, not once making eye contact with her.

His reaction took María completely off-guard. This did not sound like Bradley at all. She looked closely at his profile from her seat, and she noticed something was obviously off. Concern was evident in his blue eyes, and dark circles shadowed them. "Yes, and I thank you for that. Are you okay, Bradley?" she asked in a soft tone, as if she were addressing a child.

He turned to look at her and sighed. "Sorry about that, María…"

"It's ok. You don't look well, if you don't mind me saying… Are you all right?" she inquired concerned.

"Yeah, could we please leave the interrogation for later on? Don't wanna get stuck in heavy traffic…" he said starting the engine, turning on the radio and putting the gear into reverse, avoiding María's gaze.

"Okay, sorry," she mumbled as he drove onto her street and through the streets of Dillon towards the highway.

She waited until they had been in the SUV for more than half an hour. From her position on the passenger seat she could see that his facial expression was more relaxed now, so she dared to make small talk again.

"So, how was your break?" she hopefully asked.

"Just uneventful…" he muttered, barely audible.

"Well, mine's been…" she started to say encouraged by his response, but was rudely interrupted before she could finish her line.

"María, the last thing I need or I want now is to hear about your, I assume, happy break. Could we please ride in silence? Please? Is that too much to ask?" Bradley asked keeping his eyes fixed on the road in front of him.

María felt her eyes welling up. "What's wrong with him? What did I do?" She did her best to keep her tears at bay and not show him how much he was upsetting her.

"Whatever, Bradley," she managed to say in a normal voice, restraining herself from the urge to ask him to pull over and exit the car, and turning her head to look to the Texan arid landscape. _"Well, can this get any worse? Not only I won't be seeing Billy for at least two and a half months, and classes and golf will be much harder during that time, but I will also have a grumpy and even rude roomie. That's if I don't kill him before we arrive to Austin… Great, just great."_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Date: January 7th 2008 9:06 pm

From: María McGill

To: rigginsrigs

Subject: Hey, back to emails again!

Hi Billy,

I finally got a quiet moment to sit down and write to you. Sorry for taking so long. I know it's been three days already since I left Dillon but it is hectic here. What's new, right? Although always too short (I'm the one to blame for that, my schedule is getting crazier), I really cherish our phone conversations. Believe me when I tell you that hearing your voice makes my day every day. But I do like our emails as they give me the chance to share a lot more things with you.

It's like when I was in Dillon last week after coming back from the ranch. I was so eager to make the most of every moment we were together than I felt that some things were left unsaid or, at least, I didn't say them as much I wanted to.

First and foremost, I love you. I'm not sure I said it to you enough while I was home. And I don't care that I won't be seeing you for months, or that our lives are completely different… I do love you. I have for a long time now, and the more time I spend with you, the deeper my feelings get. These few days together have been unbelievable. Too corny? Probably, but that's how I feel, and I wanted to share it with you.

Second, I just want to spend as much time as possible with you, Billy. Wherever and whenever it is. I'm determined to go home on spring break, thought it would probably mean that I'll have to study and practice hard in Dillon. Maybe we could golf together those days if you can spare the time? It's nice to have something like that to look forward to.

As I said, life here is hectic. We'll be playing the Northrop Grumman Regional Challenge in California in less than three weeks and the coaching staff is making us work very hard. According to them, it always takes a great deal of extra work to go back to the usual routine after Christmas and they do not want us to "lull into complacency" (their own words, not mine). So my whole body is aching since the minute I walked into the range. I hope I find my rhythm again and get back into competition soon.

And classes have started tough. I'm currently working on four papers and assignments whose deadline is dangerously approaching, despite we only knew about them when we came back three days ago. I know this is the way it has to be, even more with a double major, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed. As I said, I hope I get used to it again soon.

"Domestic life" is not being easy, either. Something is wrong with Bradley and I don't know what it is. He's barely spoken twenty words since he picked me up at home. He's giving me the silence treatment but he's obviously going through something. He's not attending classes and spends most of his time in our room, listening to classical music on his Ipod (yeah, believe it or not, he likes classical music). It's almost like if he were grieving. I wish I could help him.

With Bradley being in this mood, I am spending most of my study time with Tyra at the library. I thank God for having her here because she's like a breath of fresh air in this crazy world. I told her about us and she wasn't as mad as I thought she would be. Don't worry, she said nothing bad about you.

Tell Timmy I said hello. I texted him yesterday but I haven't heard back from him (I know I shouldn't be surprised…)

I miss you, Billy, greatly.

All my love,

María

P.S. I nearly forgot to tell you something important. About that last night we were together, I'm sorry if I pushed you too hard to do something you didn't want to do. I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the effort you're making taking things slow, because I do, I really do. I'm well aware that it must not be easy for you. So please forgive me, it won't happen again. Although I can't stop thinking about your hands on my upper body that night.

P.S. 2. In case you were wondering, right now I'm wearing your hoodie. Thanks for getting such good care of it during Christmas, your scent is back on it!

Date: January 8th 2008 8:59 am

From: rigginsrigs

To: María McGill

Subject: Re: Hey, back to emails again!

Hi M!

I LOVE YOU TOO. And I know you love me, never doubted it. Don't worry, we'll figure things out.

Also like our emails. You've no idea what it feels like to find one from you in the inbox when I come into work. But I know your busy, so first things first. Hearing your voice is also the best moment in my day, and emails are the icing on the cake, but I want you to be focused on classes and golf, ok? Don't worry for anything else. I'll wait for you or your emails as long as necessary. Gladly.

What can I say, I'll be honored to golf with you on spring break, and I promise I'll let you study as much as possible during the day. Yet I hope you'll spend your evenings and nights with me, I'm really looking forward to it. By the way, you don't have to apologize about anything. Believe me, I didn't do anything I didn't wanna do. I do want you, M, you can't imagine how badly (I can't stop thinking about a that night, too), and it's not easy taking things slow, but I don't want you to rush into it right before you're leaving for college for a few months. Call me old fashioned, caveman or whatever, but I wanna do things right. We'll have a chance, don't worry. That reminds me, I wish I were there and I could pull my hoodie off you…

Sorry to hear about Bradley. Don't hesitate to tell me if he's crossed any line with you (I don't mean just that kind of line…) I think he's a good guy but that doesn't sound like him at all, so please be careful.

I'm also glad you have Tyra with you. I'm surprised she said nothing bad about me, because I hurt her sister deeply. I don't know if you know this, probably don't, but the day Tyra found out about our breakup she stormed into the shop and she spilled out everything she thought about me and my behavior. Really a ballsy thing to do, and I'm glad she's there with you. I know she's gonna take good care of you, she's smart and resourceful.

I'll tell Timmy you said hello.

Go and get them!

Love,

Billy

As days went by, María started to find college life a little bit easier. Christmas break had been a delightful interlude, and coming back to reality was certainly tough, but she soon found her rhythm back in college. She worked hard, both in classes and golf, and she spent all her study and limited spare time with Tyra. She spoke with Billy on the phone on a daily basis, and most days she would be longing for those few minutes they shared over the telephone line all day long. He was her first thought every morning and her last one before going to bed every night. Extraordinary grades came back for her papers and assignments, and she played extraordinary well in California, under the par of the course all three days; all of that encouraged her to give her best and even work harder in order to be able to enjoy spring break at home.

With her birthday approaching, there was only one thing that clouded her current state of mind. Or rather, one person: Bradley, as he had only spiraled out of control since they had come back from Dillon. Not only was he not attending most of his classes, but he had also started drinking heavily and regularly. As of late, he would arrive in the room in the early hours of the morning, very drunk, shortly before María's alarm would go off at 5:45 a.m. and go straight to bed fully dressed until past lunch time. In fact, she had not seen him awake since the first night he did so.

That night, María suddenly woke up when he was trying to find his way from the door to his bed. The room was dark, the only light a weak stream of street lamp glow filtering through the curtains, and after a few hesitant steps Bradley stumbled over her bed.

"Bradley, what are you doing?" María complained with a sleepy voice, sitting up on her bed and rubbing her eyes, wondering what time it was and what Bradley was doing up so late. She had a quick look to the alarm clock on her bedside table. It read 3:34 a.m.

"Sorry," he managed to mumble, in a vain attempt to get up from her bed. He was so wasted that he was not able to stand up on his own.

"Are you ok?" she asked getting up and holding him by his arms in an effort to lift him and help him lie down on his own bed.

"Yeah, sorry," he whispered again while he rested his arms around her waist and finally stood up with her help. As she turned to led him to his bed, he clumsily tried to sit down but fell backwards on it, keeping his grip on her body and causing María to fall on top on him, her head on his shoulder, just inches from his face.

"Bradley!" They were both lying on his bed and he was still keeping his grip on her waist, his body under hers. He was not hurting her at all, but he was not letting go of her, either. "Let me go, please," she begged visibly uncomfortable, placing both her hands on his chest, trying to distance her face from his and to free herself from his arms.

As he did not react at all to her words, María lowered her head and glared at him in the dim light of their room. "Bradley, please, open your eyes," she whispered softly, fearing he had fallen asleep.

As he did so, she kept on talking. "Thank you. Now, could you please let me go? Please?" she begged again.

He suddenly loosened his grip and locked eyes with her. His next words made her blood run cold. "I'm not gonna rape you or anything…" He was slurring but there was no doubt about what he had just said.

"What's wrong with him?" Sensing that he was hurting deeply, instead of climbing off, like she had been urging to do since they had fallen on his bed, she deliberately stayed on top of him, completely still, keeping her eyes on his to try and reassure him. "I know, I'm not afraid of you, Bradley."

Those words broke down his barriers. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…" he slurred again as thick tears began sliding through his cheeks.

"It's ok," she said slowly rolling on her left and lying down by his side on the narrow bed. "Now go to sleep. I'll be right here until it's time to get up, in case you need anything." After five minutes she could hear soft snoring, and she fell asleep as well, exhausted.

When the alarm went off two hours later, María got up from Bradley's bed and quickly got ready for her day. Before she left for the gym, she sat down beside him and gently touched his shoulder. "Hey, it's past 6 a.m. How are you? Need anything before I go?" she softly asked.

His answer was far from what she expected after the events of the previous night. "Leave me alone, will you?" he grunted turning to face the wall, without even looking at her. When she heard him, she got up from his bed, and headed for the door. Right before leaving the room, she turned around. "You should get a shower. You stink!" she said, slamming the door close after her.

When she came to the room later that day, Bradley was nowhere to be found. "Well, at least he's tidied up and ventilated the room, he must feel better," she thought to herself.

That night, equally drunk, he managed to walk to his bed without stumbling onto María's bed. And a repeated pattern took place the following days. Bradley would arrive very late every night, heavily inebriated, and by the time María would come back before lunch, he would be gone until late that night. She even wondered if he was eating anything at all. They had not said anything to each other after that "You stink!" comment, and María's concerns about him grew by the day.

A week after the first night Bradley showed up drunk, María shared her worry with Tyra during one of their studying breaks.

"So let me get this straight", Tyra said."Bradley shows up drunk every night and he's not attending classes? That doesn't sound like him at all…" They were sitting on the green area just outside the back door of the library, enjoying a few minutes of sunshine before going back to study again.

"Yeah, I don't know what to do, really. Obviously he's going through a rough patch but I don't know how to help him…" María explained, placing both her hands behind her on the grass, facing the sun and stretching her long legs.

"How long has this been going on?" Tyra asked, sipping a can of soda.

"The drunken part, about a week. Not attending classes, since Christmas break…"

"María, that's a long time…" Tyra exclaimed.

María crossed her legs her and sat down straight, nodding. "I know. Should I call his parents? Or Mrs. Taylor? What do you think? I'm sure something's happened to him, but I don't want to invade his privacy. But maybe he needs help… I really… don't know what to do…" she stammered.

Tyra shook her head. "Let's not call in the cavalry just yet. Maybe he just needs time, to deal with whatever he's dealing. I don't know, María… he obviously has a thing for you. Couldn't you try to talk to him again? You know, if you are, let's say, half naked in your room, maybe he'll open up to you? It usually works…" Tyra said winking.

María rolled her eyes at the idea. "Tyra, I've already tried, talking I mean, and, frankly, I'm not comfortable at all exploring that other side you're mentioning…" It was right then when María told her what had happened the first night he came drunk to their room. She winced at the memory of how broken he had seemed that night, and Tyra noticed it.

"Did he hurt you, María?" Tyra gently asked, placing one hand on María's knee.

"No, not at all."

"Did he do something inappropriate?" she inquired again.

"He didn't, Tyra, never has. Not one bit. He's a good guy, really. That's why I'm worried, this is not like him at all," María explained.

"Well, let's give him a couple of days. If things don't change, screw his privacy. I think Mrs. Taylor should know then. I'm sure she'll know what to do."

But in the end there was no need to call Tami, or anyone else for that matter, as that same day Bradley was waiting for María when she rushed back to their room before dinner. As she opened the door, she noticed him sitting on his bed, his back on the headboard, dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, quietly reading a book. When he heard the doorknob, he raised his gaze to her.

"Hey," he shyly greeted her.

"Hey," she said back, closing the door and leaning her back against it.

"Can we talk, please?" he asked closing his book and moving over to the right edge of his bed, sitting there.

"Are you sober?" she asked back from her stance by the door, crossing her arms on her chest.

He nodded. "I am, but I wouldn't do anything to you, sober or not sober…"

"I know…" she said walking to her bed and sitting down on it cross-legged. They were now face to face, just the narrow space between their twin beds separated them.

He took a deep breath and held her gaze. "I'm sorry, María, I'm really sorry, for being rude and giving you the cold shoulder for starters…"

She relaxed seeing that apparently he was back to his usual self. "Don't worry about that. Are you okay? That's the only thing that matters."

He shrugged. "I think I am…"

"What's that supposed to mean, Bradley? Are you ill?" María demanded, worried, after his vague reply. She then noticed there was something different in his eyes, as though something was clouding them. "Is it sadness?"

He shook his head, smiling weakly. "No, I'm fine…"

"Is someone from your family or any friend ill?" she asked again, as that would certainly explain his behavior as of late.

"Not exactly…"

She sighed. "Not exactly? Bradley, it's hard, really hard, to see you like you've been for the last weeks. I don't wanna push it, but maybe if you could tell me what's wrong I could help you. Or at least try to understand…" she trailed off.

"You're right…" Bradley said. He took a deep breath again. "Alice's pregnant, well, was pregnant…" he mumbled stressing the past tense.

Suddenly everything was beginning to make sense. She spoke trying to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. "Bradley, I…"

He was now looking down to his joined hands. "Yeah, it was a big blow, you know… She told me the day we arrived home for Christmas… That was the reason I went AWOL the whole break." He then looked up and locked eyes with her. "I'm sorry María, it had nothing to do with you…"

"It's ok, don't worry about that… How… how did you take it?" she dared to ask, really not knowing what to say.

He shrugged and looked to his right, avoiding her gaze. "Dunno, first I was surprised, she was on the pill and we always used protection…"

"These things happen, Bradley…" she said slightly tilting her head to keep eye contact.

He looked back at her and smiled. "I know… And then I felt angry at myself, but, above all, guilty… And in the meantime it wasn't easy trying to help Alice…"

"Come on, I'm sure it wasn't your fault… How did she take it?"

He sighed. "Not very well, as you can imagine… She didn't want to tell anyone and she didn't know what to do…"

"She was lucky to have you, then…" she chimed in.

"Don't really know about that…" he chuckled smiling at her again.

"Come on, Bradley, don't be modest…"

He shrugged again and rested his gaze on a certain spot on the wall behind María. "I'm not… Anyway, by the time we had to come back to college she said that she knew what she wanted. She had contacted a clinic near Waco and made all necessary arrangements. She said that in a few days we wouldn't have to worry anymore. I offered to go with her, I didn't want her to go through all that alone, I begged her to tell her parents, but she said that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself…" He diverted his eyes from the wall and looked at María again. "This happened that morning we came back from Dillon, right before I picked you up… I'm sorry I was so rude to you…"

María coyly placed her right hand on his leg. "Bradley, I don't know what to say…"

He sadly smiled again. "Well, it even gets better, you know? She did it a week ago. She called me and told me I shouldn't be worried anymore. When I asked her when I could come up and visit her in Baylor she said that it was better if we didn't see each other for a while, that she just wanted to forget… As soon as she hung the phone I went out and drunk all day long, until I came in the middle of the night and stumbled on your bed. I was wasted but I do remember what happened and what I said… I'm so sorry María, I never meant to hurt or scare you, I just wanted to…" he said bending down his head with his last words, clearly ashamed.

She lowered her head to be able to see his face and patted his leg. "Hey, that's water under the bridge… Are you okay now? Feel better?"

Bradley looked at his right side and then turned to María. "Yes and no…"

"Yes and no?..."

He could feel his eyes tearing up and he was doing his best to hide it from María. "Yeah. There's more, you know… She called again today. She had some news she needed to share with me, she said. She never told me, but she had had a paternity test at the clinic. Don't ask me how she managed to get a sample of my DNA… The results had just come back. It wasn't mine, I wasn't the father…"

"Oh, Bradley… I'm really sorry," she whispered as she left her own bed to sit down by his side, on his bed, and rested her right arm on his broad shoulders.

He turned to his left to look at her with bright eyes. "So now I feel relieved, which is horrible as it is, and I also think I've been played all this time, so…" Silent tears began to fall from his blue eyes as he shrugged.

"Nothing of all this is your fault, you know that, right?" María said softly embracing him. She could feel his chin on her shoulder as he nodded.

"Yeah… well, maybe one thing… I should have learnt by now to get involved with the right people…" he whispered.

María broke the embrace to look at him. "Bradley, the fact that she hasn't been fair to you has nothing to do with you. It's her, not you!"

"Thank you. You know what the funny thing about all this is… I wasn't that much into her… but now I guess she wasn't, either…" he chuckled, letting his arms drop from her waist and wiping off the tears from his face.

"Don't say that… she doesn´t know a good guy when she sees one, I guess…" María stated.

"Oh, do you?" Bradley smirked.

She considered his question. "Yes, I do… Just because I'm in love with Billy doesn't mean I don't see that you're a good guy. I'm not blind, Bradley," María added to break the awkward silence between them, hoping she was not crossing any line by saying that. She was well aware of his feelings for her, and the last thing she intended was to fuel them by being too close.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. And I'm terribly sorry for what happened the other night, María. I promise it won't happen again…" he apologized.

"I know," María said quickly squezeeing his hand and standing up from the bed, hoping once more that she had not crossed any line. "I'm starving, are you coming down?"

"Sure… So, are we good?" he asked while he followed her to the door.

"We are," she nodded.

Once they had cleaned the air, things went back to normal between them. Bradley had fallen behind in most of his classes, but María made it her personal mission to help him catch up in every subject, which he did in no time, as the good student he had always been. He was back to his usual self, and she was relieved to think that apparently she had not crossed any line when comforting him about the whole "Alice deal", like he called it.

Talking to each other from bed to bed with the light off before falling asleep had become once more their late night routine. So they shared the events of the day and their main concerns every night. Most often, Bradley would just talk about Alice and how hurt he felt by her. "I was far from being in love with her, you know, but I don't understand why she was not straight with me from the beginning. I would've been by her side nevertheless…"

And María, in return, would share her concerns about Billy with him. One night she even confessed her worst fears. "Not seeing him for so long is being harder that I thought, Bradley, and it's only been five and a half weeks. And when I think that he's in Dillon on his own... Of course I know he's working in the shop, and at the range on weekends, but now that football season is over he's got spare time during the week, and I'm afraid he could, you know… if he feels lonely he could look for company..." she trailed off.

The twin beds were so close that he only had to raise his arm to the right to reach and comfort her. Fighting his urge to do so, he placed his hands under his head in an attempt to stop himself for reaching for María's hand and just chuckled. "Come on, María. You really think that? He's head over heels in love with you…"

"I know, but…" she hesitated.

"But what? What makes you think that?" he softly demanded.

María sighed in the dark. "I don't know, really… Well, maybe the fact that he's in his mid twenties, that I can't remember him being single…"

Bradley laughed when he heard her say that. "María, that's bullshit… He could think the same about you, you know…"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, he could be thinking that you'll be nineteen next week, that you're facing a tight schedule away from home on your own, that you'll feel overwhelmed and lonely…" he elaborated.

"I'm not lonely, Bradley. I have you, and Tyra…"

"That's not what I meant, María… My point is that we all have our share of uncertainties, but if you trust your partner you shouldn't let yourself carried away. It wouldn't be fair. And I think Billy is trustworthy, don't you?" he explained.

"Yeah, he is," she answered, thinking about Bradley's words. He was right, Billy did not deserve those negative thoughts on her part. He had done nothing but support her all her life. Why would it be any different now? "Thanks Bradley."

The following days were even more intense. Her parents came to visit her for her birthday and they spent a whole weekend in Austin. Billy did his best to try to come until the very last minute, but he was swamped with work and María herself asked him not to leave Dillon. "Spring break isn't that far away now, Billy, and we'll have two full weeks for ourselves then. I don't want you be driving during the night just to see you for a couple of hours…" she had told him on the phone, and although he was willing to do the effort, he really appreciated her understanding. "All right, I promise I'll make it up to you then… I love you…" he had said.

During her parents visit, María really enjoyed the break from her college routine, all the more so as her golf schedule would be really tight until spring break. She would be playing the ICON Invitational in The Woodlands, TX, at the end of February, and traveling to South Carolina, Georgia and Argyle, TX to take part in the Darius Rucker Intercollegiate, the Liz Murphey Collegiate Classic and the Bruzzy Challenge, respectively, to finish a crazy term playing the Big 12 Championship in Dallas in early April, right before spring break. In addition, she would be taking exams for both Business and Psychology between tournaments.

It was a nice Friday morning in March when Coach Colt gathered all the staff and players at the range and informed them that the Big 12 Championship date had been rescheduled, and it would finally take place during the last week of the spring break. Due to that, all players and staff would be working their usual schedule until then. "That means there's no spring break for y'all, I'm sorry. I know most of you had plans for the break, especially those far from home, but unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it. I know it's not much, but until further notice we won't be training or playing on Mondays, staring this week. It's not a proper break, but I hope that'll help," he had explained, knowing beforehand how disappointed his players would be.

It took María a few moments to register the implications of what Coach Colt had just said. She was surprised and disappointed. She had been working so hard to able to go home… If she could not be going home for spring break and had to stay in campus training and practicing the first week and playing in Dallas the second week, it meant that she would not be seeing Billy until June, at least. It would be nearly six months since they had spent some time together. "One thing is being in a long distance relationship, but another is not seeing each other for more than half a year… How are we supposed to deal with it?" she sadly thought on her way to her dorm.

As soon as she entered her room, she grabbed her cell phone from her desk and dialed Billy's number. She knew he would be working and probably would not hear his mobile chimimg, but she wanted to try anyway. She felt an urgent need to hear his voice.

As expected, nobody answered. She considered to try the garage landline phone, but finally decided against it. After all, I was not an emergency. "He'll call as soon as he can, when he sees the missed call," she thought.

Sad and disappointed, she placed her cell phone back on her desk and sat down on the edge of her bed, trying to hold back her tears. She should be heading for her Accounting class but she suddenly felt too tired to do so. She was thinking about skipping the class and lying down on her bead instead when Bradley rushed into the room.

"Hey, aren't you coming to Accounting?" he asked while he grabbed the notebooks on his desk, and run to the door again. "We're gonna be late," he added.

When he was about to open the door, he turned around to look at her. She had not said anything since he had entered their room.

"María, are you okay?" he demanded approaching her and sitting down on her bed, beside her. Now he could see her bright eyes and her sad expression.

"Yeah. Coach Colt has just told us that the Big 12 Championship has been pushed back to the second week of spring break, so we'll be having no break at all. We'll have Mondays off instead…" she trailed off.

He sighed. "I'm sorry María, I know you've been working hard to be able to go home…"

"Yeah, but I don't mind that. I won't be seeing Billy until June, Bradley, June…" she said.

"I'm sorry, María…" He could imagine how disappointed she was, as she had been talking about the break non-stop for the last weeks.

"It'll be six months…" she whispered while tears silently started sliding down her cheeks.

"I know…" he said cautiously placing his left arm around her back, trying to comfort her. As soon as she felt his soft touch, she rested her head on his shoulder. He was taken aback by her reaction, and froze on spot.

"Do you think that's doable, being in a relationship and not seeing each other for six weeks, when you've just been together for, what? Nine days overall?" she quietly asked, locking eyes with him still on his shoulder.

"Don't really know but… as you have Monday off…" he said impulsively shoving his right hand into his jean pocket to fish out his car keys and place them in her hand. "No need for that long wait. Here, take my SUV, ask Billy to meet you somewhere nice, you could leave on Sunday morning after your early training, and come back on Monday night. I'll cover your classes for you…" he offered smiling.

María slowly raised her head from his shoulder, looking astonished at her hand holding his keys. She then turned her gaze to his blue eyes. "Bradley, … I… I don't know what to say…" María stammered, moved and surprised by his gesture.

"You don't have to say anything, just enjoy it. Come on, let's go, we can still make it to Accounting," he said getting up from her bed, already missing the feeling of her body pressed against his side and her head on his shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Right after attending her Accounting class that day, Maria noticed a missed call from Billy on her cell. Not caring at all about her next class for once, she let Bradley know that she was going to make a phone call and quickly stepped out into the bright sunlight. It was a busy time in campus, everybody rushing in and out the different buildings, yet she managed to sit down on a bench in a quiet corner of the grounds, and speed dialed Billy's number.

"Hey beautiful! You all right?" he asked as soon as he flipped his phone open and placed it between his shoulder and his ear while typing on his lap top. He had been surprised that María had called him during the morning, as they usually spoke sometime after lunch, and he was worried that something might have happened. So he had taken a break from the cars to do some paperwork waiting for her call.

"Yes, now I am. You?" she replied, happy to hear his voice. She felt she had been on a rollercoaster since the team had learnt about the news a little over two hours before. Disappointment, sadness, relief, hope, excitement… she had gone through all of them during that brief period of time.

"Fine, just wondering about you…" Billy said in a soft voice, pausing and taking his cell phone with his right hand. There was something strange in María's tone, a mixture of disillusionment and excitement, which he found certainly difficult to explain, and all he could think of was "What's wrong with her?" However, he found out soon enough, as she did not have much time until her next class.

"Listen, I have to run to my next class. I just wanted to tell you that Coach Colt has just informed us that the 12 Big Championship will take place during spring break, so there'll be no break at all for us…" she quickly explained.

Billy was devastated to hear that, and lowered his head and closed his eyes. Knowing that she could not see him, he did his best to convey how he felt about it. "María… I'm sorry, I know how eager you were waiting for it… I was, too…" Sensing that she would be really upset, too, he did his best to cheer her up. "Hey, don't worry, I'll find a way to be able to go see you soon. Even I have to drive back and forth all night, I'll figure out a way, Ok? You just focus in classes and golf like you're doing…"

"Maybe, maybe that won't be necessary…" Maria mumbled on the phone, secretly happy that he wanted to see her as badly as she wanted to see him. She thought that despite her disappointment it was worth not having spring break if it had led her to hear him say that. Once again, she quickly wondered what she would be willing to do for him, and there it was again, the usual answer came back, "I'd give up almost everything for him." Her heart skipped a beat at the realization, and she wished he would think the same way about her.

"What, what do you mean?" Billy asked, intrigued, standing up from his chair and scratching the back of his neck absentmindedly. Had it not been for María quickly elaborating, he would have started worrying. Any slight sign of disagreement with her would instantaneously trigger all his uncertainties. Little did he know by then that their relationship would always follow that unhealthy pattern.

"I've good news, too. In exchange for the lost break, we'll have Mondays off until further notice. Bradley's lent me his SUV, and I was just wondering if you'd want to see me halfway or wherever you want…" María outlined.

He chuckled, immensely relieved. "If I want to see you? You're kidding, right? Of course I want to see you…"

Delighted to hear that, María tried to focus on the plan. "Great! I could leave here on Sunday morning, after gym and early practice, and be with you until Monday evening. I know it's very short notice, but I really want to see you Billy, even more now that I won't be going home until June at the earliest…"

He closed his eyes again, and tightened the grip on his cell phone. How could he not go? He quickly made up his mind. Since he had decided to change his life some months back, work could wait for once. "Don't worry, I'll work tomorrow if I need to, and ask Peter to be in the shop on Monday afternoon, too. I'll close for the day, if necessary. And I'll be finished at the range by eleven on Sunday. Where do you wanna go?" he excitedly asked.

"Honestly, I don't care, Billy, as long as I'm with you…" María had not given it much thought.

His brain was racing now. It was not halfway between Dillon and Austin, but he did know a town where they could spend a day together. "There's a nice hotel with spa just a few miles down the highway, near Llano. You won't have a long drive. And also a cute cabin place nearby. What'd you fancy? Swimming and relaxing indoors or long hikes and water sports, if the water in the lake is not too cold this time of the year…" he said thinking that he did not care at all either.

"Both sound great, Billy! Your choice, really." She loved swimming and water sports, yet she would not mind climbing the Everest if it meant spending some time with Billy.

He nodded. "Ok, let me think about it. I'll take care of the reservation and let you know."

"That's great! I'm sorry I really have to go, Billy. Talk to you later?" she said getting up from the bench and hurriedly entering the building.

"Later."

A few hours later, María's phone chimed with an incoming text.

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, FEB 20 2009, 4:24 P.M.: Spa it is! Bring ur swimsuit! I'll text u address and indications. Can't wait 2 see u! Love u.

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, FEB 20 2009, 6:57 P.M.: Great! See u in about 42 hours… Who's counting? Can't wait! Love U 2.

María felt over the moon during the following hours. It was a good thing it was a Friday and she did not have classes the following day because she would have found it really hard to focus. As a matter of fact, her performance at the range that Friday afternoon was far from being good. She was lucky that most her teammates were also distracted about the news regarding spring break and the coaching staff decided to turn a blind eye for a change.

That night she thanked Bradley again, when there were, as usual, talking from bed to bed in their small room with the lights off.

"I don't think I've thanked you enough, Bradley… I mean, I wouldn't be seeing Billy if it wasn't for your idea and your car, I promise I'll take good care of it…" she quietly said, yet she could not hide the excitement in the tone of her voice.

"I know you will. Just enjoy it," he told her, wishing once more that it was him and not Billy the source of her enthusiasm.

"I'll do my best… After all, it's Billy and swimming, can't think of anything better…" she trailed off.

He chuckled. "I know, I'm really happy for you…" he added, not knowing what else to say. He did want to be supportive and encouraging, but sometimes it was really hard to balance that with his feelings with her. He was about to bid her good night and turn on his left side to sleep when he heard her voice again.

"Can I ask you another favor? If it's a no, just say it, it's ok…" María worriedly said turning on her left side to face his bed, although the room was dark. She knew she was about to ask him to do something that could quite likely push boundaries between them, but frankly she had no one else to turn to. So the least she could do was to look at him while she asked, despite the darkness.

"María, just shoot…" He was intrigued, as she had guessed he would say no in advance. He still could not understand how she did not know by now that he would anything in his power to help her, whatever it was that she needed help with. "Maybe she knows but doesn't want to take advantage of it," he thought. "That'd make sense knowing her." And he silently thanked her for it. He had been deeply hurt by the "Alice deal" and ever since he felt he found it hard to trust people again, María being the only exception to that. "At least I'm sharing my college life with someone that is not selfish. I'm lucky, not as lucky as Billy Riggins thought…" That had become a recurring thought since María had started seeing Billy.

"Would you come shopping with me tomorrow afternoon? All my swimming suits are quite old for a fancy hotel with spa…" she shyly inquired, hoping for an affirmative answer after she had dared to ask.

He gulped. Going with her swimsuit shopping might be too much. Maybe beyond his best friend role? He was quick to think about a way out that would not sound as an excuse. "Why don't you ask Tyra? I mean, I think she'd be much more helpful than me in that matter…" he tried. "Isn't that a girls' thing, after all?" he convinced himself.

María wondered if he was serious about it or if it was just an excuse, a very good one, she had to admit if that were the case. She decided to be straight from the beginning. She knew she was asking for something unorthodox given his feelings for her, but he was one of her best friends, definitely her best friend in college, and she trusted him. "I hate to say it, but I don't really trust Tyra for this, Bradley. I'd probably end up buying some tiny bikinis which would be terribly uncomfortable for swimming…"

"But I'm sure Billy'd like them, you should definitely ask her…" he retorted.

She sighed. He really had a point, and maybe it was not an excuse. "Bradley, I said I don't trust her for this. And you know she's not a fan of Billy's either… And she's working tomorrow, anyway. I trust you, but it's fine if you don't wanna come…" she finally said giving up, not wanting to push it.

"María, it's not that I don't wanna come with you… It's just…" "How can I explain it without bringing up the elephant in the room?" He felt bad not helping her.

"What?" she quietly asked.

"Nothing. Sure, I'll come with you…" he heard himself say in a moment of weakness.

And that's how María and Bradley ended up shopping in a nearby mall on Saturday afternoon. Reluctant to go at first, Bradley had spent most of the morning convincing himself that he was doing the right thing. María had asked for his help and he was just obliging. Had she not helped him with his classes after the "Alice deal"? Had she not been always there for him? The only thing he had to do was to hide his feelings for her and, well, he was quite used to it. It would be nothing new. But there was a tiny voice in his head that kept saying that it was one thing to hide his feelings during the college routine and a very difficult one to mask them while she was trying on swimming outfit. He just hoped she had no intention of purchasing a bikini or, even worse, lingerie… "Oh, don't go here, man," he said to himself while he winced at the thought.

As they entered a big sports store, they made a bee-line to the swimming section. Long racks of women's swimming suits were displayed in front of them. Bradley resolutely took a step forward and started to have a close look at the first ones. The sooner they started, the better; the sooner they would finish.

"Any preference? Color?" he asked completely focused on the task at hand, which surprised María. "Who said men are not into shopping?" she amusedly thought. She certainly could not see Billy doing it, but Bradley seemed a natural.

María shook her head. "None, just want it to be comfortable. Maybe… maybe you could tell me what you like…" she mumbled coyly.

"What I like?" he inquired again, puzzled, turning and fixing his gaze on her. Then it hit him. Of course, she had asked him to come with her because his opinion mattered. "Why else would you think she wanted you here, dude?"

She shrugged making eye contact with him. "Yeah, it'd help having a male perspective…"

"I really think you'd be stunning in any of these, María…" he sighed, keeping his eyes on her, doing his best to sound nonchalant and to avoid looking below her neck. Images of María in all kinds of swimming gear seemed to have suddenly flooded his mind, and they were not helping.

"Come on, Bradley, you're not being helpful…" she complained turning to examine closely the vast collection of swimsuits displayed in front of her.

Realizing that once they were actually swimsuit shopping together there was no point in dodging her question, he finally shared his view. "But if you ask me, I'd go for red, and definitely high-cut…" Apparently he had no doubt about what kind of swim gear he liked.

She chuckled. "Red? Really? Like Pamela Anderson in that tv show?"

"Exactly, but it'd look much better on you…" he said busying himself choosing a few that fulfilled his preferences, taking them out of the rack.

"Are you sure?" she frowned, wondering if they were referring to the same kind of swimsuit.

Bradley nodded looking at her again. "Positive… You've got a great body, just show off your figure without showing anything inappropriate… Here, try these on and you'll tell me… I think it's the right size…" he handed her the hangers.

"Thanks. Aren't you coming with me?" As soon as she had asked, she knew that sounded awkward, at least. "I mean, not inside the fitting room while I change, but you could wait outside and tell me what you think of each one…" she clarified. She was blushing and began to look for the fitting rooms while waiting for his response.

"Would you really like that?" He tried to focus on the sole fact that he was there to help her, regardless of the fact that it would imply giving his honest opinion about her body in a swimsuit.

"Yes, would it be a problem for you?" she asked back, suddenly realizing that maybe she was pushing too much. After all, she knew Bradley had feelings for her, he himself had told her.

He chuckled in an attempt to play it down."No, of course not. I've seen you in a swimsuit before…"

"Yeah, but back then I…. Never mind. I think… I'm nervous about tomorrow. I'm sorry Bradley, if I'm asking you to do things you're not comfortable doing…" Maybe it was too late, but she found it important to let him know that the last thing she intended was to make him uncomfortable.

"No, you're not. Come on, let's try these on…"

When María opened the curtain of the fitting room and stepped outside wearing a red Baywatch styled swimsuit that enhanced both her legs and her upper body, Bradley knew that this sight of María and that swimming outfit would undoubtedly be in every wet dream he would have in the near future.

"Well, what do you think?" she shyly asked, suddenly not knowing what to do with her hands. She was certainly not used to pose in front of her male friends, even less wearing swimsuits.

"Wow María… I think this is it, you look…, I'm speechless…" he managed to stutter, leaning on the wall behind him nonchalantly.

"Ok, thank you, that's it then," she said turning around to go into the fitting room again, flushing from toe to hair. She was looking forward to putting her clothes on again and leaving this weird shopping behind.

"Wait, why don't you try the rest? Maybe there's another one that you like best…" Bradley suggested. Despite being highly awkward, he could not deny that a part of him was really enjoying this shopping session. He would not have a chance to see María in swimming gear until the summer at least, and he really doubted that they would be meeting to go swimming once back in Dillon now that Billy was in the picture. He was well aware that it was going to be a very different summer from the last one, and he was already trying to prepare himself for it. Once there already, he could use some more time looking at her without having to pretend he was not, like he usually did when they went to the lake together.

So after twenty minutes of trying on different swimsuits, and listening to Bradley's opinion on every single of them, María finally stepped out of the fitting room fully clothed with the red one and a dark blue one in one hand, and the rest of the hangers in the other. "Well, definitely the red and the dark blue it is… Thanks Bradley, dinner is on me tonight. What do you fancy? Italian? Tex-mex? Indian?" she casually asked while heading towards the cashier, reciting all his favorites.

He was not counting on going out for dinner with María and did his best to hide his surprise whilst he quickly thought about an excuse. Despite of having become a master of pretext regarding her, none came to his mind. María did know that he had no plans for the evening, and that part of him that had really enjoyed advising María concerning swimsuits was eager to go out with her. He was well aware it was far from being a date, but he had learnt to enjoy the time he spent with her, in whatever capacity it was. He was patient, and he could deal with the best college friend role for the moment, as long as it meant being close to her. Little did he know back then that all his patience would finally pay off in the long term. "Italian, if it's ok with you," he said smiling.

That evening they had dinner together at a cozy and fancy Italian restaurant downtown. María had already been there while her parents were visiting for her birthday. She had fallen in love with the place and had been willing to go back since. Finally she had found an occasion to do so, and her heart skipped a beat when she realized she really wished she would be going with Billy instead of Bradley.

"Are you sure, María? It's gonna cost you a fortune…" he said holding the door open for her and placing his hand on her lower back while she stepped into the restaurant.

She smiled back. "Absolutely. I wouldn't be seeing Billy tomorrow without your help: you idea, your SUV, your shopping advice… It's the least I can do," she quickly explained before asking for their reservation.

"You don't have to do anything, María…" she mumbled while they were being led to their table, which happened to be in a quiet corner by the window.

"I know, but I want to," she insisted while he helped her with the chair. That was something Jack always did while they were dating, and she wondered if Billy would do it, too. It both amazed and scared her how well she knew him as a friend, and how much she still had to know him as her boyfriend. "And that's not gonna happen any time soon with you living in Austin for the next four years at least", a little voice in her head kept saying wherever that thought came to her mind.

It was a Saturday evening and most customers in the restaurant were couples. The atmosphere was certainly romantic and María blushed when she noticed it. Bradley did too, both the vibe and her blushing and he tried to downplay it.

"Hey, relax, I know I'm not your date…" he softly whispered.

"I know you know, Bradley…" she smiled again, briefly diverting her gaze from the menu to look at him.

To his surprise María insisted on ordering white wine and both the company and the wine helped her relax and enjoy her meal. She had just gone through some tough weeks regarding school and golf and the most stressful weeks of the collegiate golf season were just ahead of her, so she really needed the break. They spent most of the time swapping stories about their years in middle and high school. "Really, did he? That's hilarious…" and "Oh, I didn't know that. Why haven't you told me about this?" were the kind of lines that could be heard from their table. Plus much laughter. By the time they were eating dessert they were both a little light-headed and their conversation suddenly turned to their experience related to underage drinking.

"I just had two glasses of wine and I can already feel it… I'm a total rookie when it comes to alcohol…" María mentioned right after finishing her second glass of wine.

"You'd better be, María. Believe me, booze and sports are not a good combination…"

"I know, I know, I'm not planning on changing that. Apart from the occasional glass of champagne at Christmas or family celebrations I've only drunk once in my life and it was not pleasant at all…" she said wincing at the memory.

Bradley chucked. "I remember that night… You seemed to be perfectly fine while you were sitting on the steps, but maybe I was already drunk and I didn't notice you were, too …" That party was one of his best memories of his senior year, because he had spent most of the time chatting with María, both of them quietly sitting on the steps of the deck, away from the loud music and the crowded house. Despite not being more than two hours, he considered that time he had spent talking to María on those steps as one of the best gifts he had ever had.

Her eyes went wide at the realization. "Oh, my God, I'd completely forgotten that you were there that night, sitting right next to me…" Memories of that night quickly came to life in her mind. "I was celebrating my wrist was healed. I do remember you wouldn't let me do shots of tequila… I don't know if I thanked you back then, so thanks Bradley…"

"It's ok, Riggs thanked me. He was so mad when he saw you slurring that it was almost funny. Ironic, uh?" he chuckled.

María frowned. Her memories of that night did not include a mad Tim. In fact, quite the opposite. "I don't really remember him being mad… It's not that I recall much about that night, though…" There was a certain point where everything was a blur.

"He was, María. He took you out of there as soon as he could…" he insisted. The image of Tim gently helping María out of the party was vivid in his head. In fact, that was one of the last things he remembered about that night, as the following morning he woke up completely hung over in Alice's bed with no recollection about how he had ended up there, though he could guess. The truth was that jealousy had washed over him when María left with Tim, and in that state of mind Bradley had done and said things that night that he was still regretting a year later.

"Yeah, he took really good care of me that night. He saved me from big trouble at home…" María smiled while she recalled a worried and even sweet Tim looking after her that night. Sensing that that same night might have had a different meaning for Bradley, she changed the subject. "How come I am now able to sense what he's thinking? When did we become so close?"

"Hey, listen, is it true that there was a time when Timmy played his best football when he was hung over?" she asked realizing that while she had developed a strange skill to detect Bradley's thoughts, she had no clue what Billy was thinking most of the time they spent together. And, even worse, she was positive communication would be easier with him than with Billy. She quickly pushed those troubling ideas out of her mind blaming them on the fact that she was not in love with Bradley, which made things easier. Or at least, it should make things easier.

He chuckled again. "Frankly María, I don't know. You'd have to ask him, but it's fair to say he was a hell of a player, both sober and hung over. I'm sure he still is in San Antonio State…"

María shook her head. "He's not playing much. He's not in the lineup and says it's completely different from high school. You guys are not there, Coach Taylor isn't there either…"

"Yeah, I get it, I'm sorry to hear that…" He really admired Tim as a player and had no problem to admit that he had even been jealous of him more than once, both on and off the field.

"Do you miss football, Bradley?" she asked out of the blue.

He did not answer for a few seconds and finally nodded. "I do, I really do. I never thought I would, but I do. Not just the game itself, but the team, Friday nights, the adrenaline, the feeling when you run with the ball and no one stops you…"

"The rally girls, too?" she joked.

"What?" Bradley asked, confused. Rally girls had nothing to do with this sudden nostalgic trip down memory lane. As a matter of fact, he did not miss Laura, his ex-girlfriend, who had been his rally girl once, at all, and he actually wished Alice had never crossed his path.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding…" María suddenly realized that Alice had been a rally girl. "Oh, God, Bradley, I'm sorry I said that, I wasn't thinking…" she quickly apologized.

"It's ok, water under the bridge. What about you, you miss soccer?" he inquired trying to change the subject.

As with Bradley and football, the thought had not crossed her mind since she had started college, but the truth was that she did miss it. "Now that I come to think of it… I do, I really do. Running up and down the wing with a ball in your feet gives you a unique sense of freedom. I used to get it at the tee, too, but not anymore. Pressure, I guess… But it's the same feeling you get swimming, well, at least I do…" she explained.

"Yeah, the closest feeling to an orgasm…" he mumbled before taking his last sip of wine.

María shrugged. "Well, I don't really know… Is it really like that?"

"What? Swimming?" He had made that comment without thinking, as if he were talking to Jason Street or any of his other friends (the ones he had no feelings for), and the fact that he had just said it and she had reacted normally to it gave him an idea about how close they had gotten in the last months, which both pleased and scared him.

"No, an orgasm. Is that how you'd describe it?" she asked again, with no trace of embarrassment. If anyone had told her the previous year she would be asking Bradley Cole this kind of questions, she would have said they were crazy.

"You really don't know?" She just shook her head. "Well, I guess you're about to find out soon, probably tomorrow if you wear that red swimsuit…" he said wishing he had some more wine in his glass.

She smiled and did not blush against all odds. "Well, thank you for the encouragement, but I'm just asking how you'd describe it…"

"María, maybe you should talk to Billy about this, even maybe your mother or Mrs Taylor could be more accurate…" Definitely he was getting good at making excuses and pretexts.

"Bradley, I don't want their input on the matter, I'm asking about yours!" she exclaimed keeping a wide smile on her face. The kind of smile Bradley knew he could not resist.

"Ok, ok…" he shrugged. "What you just said about soccer and swimming, that raised to maximum power and a magical physical sensation… Come on, María, it's getting late, let's go. You've early gym and practice tomorrow…" he mumbled wishing they did not have to share a small room once they got back on campus.

That night he barely slept. Miscellaneous images of María kept rushing through his mind: that year they were in the same class in eighth grade and he realized he liked her, when she came back to Dillon for her senior year, the time she started tutoring Tim and spending time with him, he himself pluck up courage to ask her out right before State, when her father was at hospital after the stroke, when he had asked her to Prom, the day she had asked him to write the valedictorian speech with her, that summer they spent most of their time together, their first weeks in college, all their chats at night with the lights off once they were sharing a small dorm room, their swimsuit shopping the prior afternoon and going out for dinner afterwards… He did not know how he was supposed to keep his feelings for her in check once they were so close, both physically and emotionally.

Completely oblivious to Bradley's current thoughts, María slept soundly that night. She did not know it back then, but she would cherish that day and a half she was about to spend with Billy in Llano for years to come. During most of her life she had felt that she was barely spending time with the people she loved the most, as there was always the need to be somewhere else. In Florida, in Austin, always away from home, even travelling, and that magic interlude would be one of her happiest memories. Now, at twenty-eight and looking back, she knew that time with Billy in Llano was one of those rare happy moments in life during which time seems to stop. She was well aware that it happened to be one of Billy's favorites too, as they had talked about it years later, and the funny thing about it is that they did nothing special at all, apart from spending time together with no family or friends around. Just the two of them in their own cocoon. Over time they would eventually learn that it was both a luxury and an illusion.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

María got up early on Sunday morning to hit the gym and early practice, like every other Sunday that they had no tournament. Once more since she had learnt about the cancelled break and consequently planned on seeing Billy, she had to make great efforts to focus on the game. When she went back to her dorm to shower Bradley was already gone, and she found a note beside his SUV keys on her desk. “Enjoy, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Smiling to herself, she quickly packed a light bag, got ready and left campus. 

Given that she was certain she would arrive before Billy, as he had classes at the range and his drive from Dillon was quite longer than hers from Austin, she quietly drove to Llano, listening to country music on the radio and even humming occasionally. It was a sunny morning and she could not remember being so happy. Maybe for the first time in her life, she actually felt like an adult, at least this is what she thought a part of adulthood (the nice part) could be like. She was currently attending college, living on campus, doing great in classes and at golf, and, last but not least, she was meeting her boyfriend at a fancy hotel with spa for the night.

A quick look at the fuel indicator automatically diverted her thoughts from Billy to Bradley. He had even taken the trouble to fill the tank so she would not have to worry about it. As she made a quick mental note to thank him for it, a warm feeling of gratitude washed over her as realization hit her. She had missed him dearly during the weeks he had gone down the rabbit hole as a consequence of Alice’s pregnancy. She could not deny that her life in college would be much harder if Bradley were not with her, and not for the first time she wished his feelings for her would never jeopardize their friendship. 

Once in Llano, she found the hotel easily. After checking in and leaving an extra key in the front desk for Billy she went straight to their room. She was shocked to find a spacious, bright and stylish room with a king sized bed and a marble bath with a relaxing whirlpool bathtub separated from the bedroom by a sliding glass door. “Oh, Billy, you’ve gone all out,” she muttered to herself while closing the door and placing her bag on the couch that was next to the small balcony that overlooked the outdoor pool. 

Knowing that Billy would not arrive at least in an hour or so, she quickly changed into her brand new red swimsuit and headed to the indoor swimming pool, but not before scribing a quick note and leaving it on the big pillow resting on the right side of the bed. “Arrived earlier than expected. I’ll be in the indoor pool. Can’t wait to see you!” She did not know it back then, but by doing that she had assigned the right side of the bed to Billy, as it automatically became his side whenever they had the chance to spend the night together.

With plentiful sunbeams streaming through its full-length skylight, the indoor pool was perfect for swimming. Once in the pool María forgot about the skylights, massage jets and the nearby waterfall and started swimming laps. Very few people were around the pool area as the staff at the reception had informed her that most of the weekend guests had already left, and she lost track of time completely. Billy immediately identified her as soon as he entered the pool area as her strokes were clearly distinctive. He dived in and swam towards her. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw him approaching her, raising her head.

“Hey yourself,” he said taking her hand in his and softly pulling her close. She immediately clung to his shoulders, placing her legs around his waist and he held her close to his body, one hand on the back of her head and the other one on her lower back. They started kissing without delay. It was a long, deep kiss and none of them pulled back until they had to gasp for air.

Still embraced with her legs around his waist and their foreheads touching, Billy was the first one to talk. “I’ve missed you, M,” he whispered trying to catch his breath. 

“Me too,” she mumbled. “This place is awesome. And the room is just amazing. Thanks, you shouldn’t…”

He opened his eyes and held her even closer, cupping her cheek with one hand. “Are you kidding? It suits the occasion. Plus to be honest I was gonna get two rooms and we could have that huge room for the same price, more or less… So it was a no brainer, really…” he explained.

“Two rooms, really?” María asked amused. 

He sighed. “María, I didn’t come here to…” 

“I know… but that seems somehow excessive, Billy…” she sighed. 

Billy just shrugged. “Anyway, one room it is. I’m glad you like it…” It was not the first time he intended to do things the right way and María had a completely different opinion on the matter, and it was something he did not want to dwell on. At least, not right then. 

Maria smiled and started kissing him again. He framed her face with both hands and eagerly responded turning the kiss into a passionate one. After a few minutes, his lips left hers and began placing soft kisses on her jaw and down her neck. “Maybe we should swim for a while, M, if we don’t want to be kicked out of this place for inappropriate behavior…” 

After fifteen minutes swimming Billy came to a stop beside the tiled steps. “I can’t keep up your pace, M, can’t remember the last time I swam for so long…” he managed to say between deep breaths.

“Probably one of those times we used to go to the lake, before Florida. Almost five years Billy…” she said sitting down on one of the steps beside him, her hand on his knee, water up to their breast. 

He chuckled. “Definitely I was in better shape back then… You hungry? Wanna grab a bite?” he asked resting his hand on hers and she nodded.

“Ok, let’s go then. We can eat something and then go for a walk, before hitting the spa. Sound good?” he asked again squeezing her hand, standing up and coming out of the pool.

“Great!” María agreed following him. By the time she reached the lounge chair where she had placed her bathrobe and her towel she noticed Billy staring at her. 

“What’s wrong?” she could not help asking after drying herself and putting on the robe. Billy’s stare had not left her since they had come out of the swimming pool.

“Nothing, you cold?” Billy asked back not knowing what to say, pretending to be very busy with his own towel.

“No, let’s go.”

On the way to their room they shared details about their drive and discussed what each of them felt like eating. By the time they had agreed on pizza, as usual, they were outside their room and María opened the door. As soon as she entered the room she was taken by surprise by Billy, who closed the door with his foot and hugged her from behind, kissing her neck and trying to undo her robe knot. After the initial surprise she leant backwards against his body and undid the knot for him, the back of her head on his shoulder. He started softly caressing her abdomen over the swimsuit and slowly turned her body to face her.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, M, your swimsuit’s been driving me crazy since you came out of the pool. Good thing I could not see it properly while swimming…” he whispered as he trailed light kisses on her jaw and neck, down to the collarbone.

She simply chuckled, encouraging him to keep his ministrations. But he stopped to tilt his head and lock eyes with her.

“You know that you’re stunning in it, don’t you?”

Her only response was to take a step back and slowly take off her robe, sliding it past her shoulders and letting it fall on the ground, looking intently at him in the meanwhile.

“Yeah, you know…” he chuckled. “Smart girl…” he whispered right before she opened his robe and tried to push it past his broad shoulders. He quickly took her wrists before pushing the robe all the way down. ”María, you said you were hungry, we’ll have plenty of time for this later…” He was calling her by her full name for the first time in many years, and she noticed it. Perhaps Bradley had not been wrong about the swimming suit. Something else to thank him for. 

“I know, but we have to shower and change to go out, and I was just thinking that if you come into the shower with me, I may let you take my swimsuit off…” she mischievously said taking his hands in hers and stepping in to kiss his cheek.

“Oh, you may…” he played along. “Ok, I can play this game as long as at least one of us is wearing some kind of clothing…” he thought to himself. But María’s reply made him reconsider his previous decision. 

“Yeah, if you’re kind enough to let me take off yours in return…” she whispered in his ear, still holding his hands. 

Feeling that he had frozen after her last comment, and not wanting to push too hard, María let go of his hands and stepped back, making eye contact with him. “But we can just get ready and go out.” She was turning around to get her bag when she felt Billy grabbing her hand. 

“Hey, are you sure?” he quickly asked, raising his eyebrows and caressing the back of her hand.. 

She looked at him and interlaced her fingers with his. “Yeah, let’s go out…”

“No, I mean about the shower…” Billy clarified getting closer, still holding her hand.

María nodded. “I am. But I totally understand if you don’t want to…” She knew Billy was determined to take things slow, and she did not want to push him. At least not too much. 

He let go of her hand, framed her face and kissed her chastely. “María, we’ve been down this road before. I do want to. You’ve no idea how much. But the real question is, are you sure you want that?” he asked again to be absolutely certain, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

“I am,” she whispered leaning in for a kiss.

By the time they got dressed it was way past lunch time and both of them were starving, so they took Billy’s truck and stopped by the first place they came across, which happened to be the local Applebee’s. After eating, they went for a walk and spent some time at the Llano County Museum.

As they were going back to the hotel, Billy made a detour to show María Enchanted Rock and Lake Buchanan. It was still sunny and quite warm and they really enjoyed their time outdoors.

“Thank you for showing me around, Billy. I guess you’ve been here before. Any hot girlfriend around here that I should know about?” she casually inquired while they were entering in their hotel room. They intended to get changed again and head for the Spa.

Billy shook his head. “No, you already know all my girlfriends…” As María heard that, she raised her eyebrows and chuckled. “Right, let’s say that you know most of my girlfriends… No, seriously, my father used to take me here hunting. Did you know that Llano is known as the Deer Capital of Texas?” 

“I know, I guess why…” she answered regretting having said that, as it had led to bringing up his father, which María knew was a painful matter to him. On the very few occasions she had mentioned his parents (after all, María had known them) he would just clam up, and she had learned not to touch that subject unless it was Billy himself who talked about it. And that had not happened so far. So the Llano connection between father and son had taken her by surprise, and she wished those memories would not ruin his mood. 

“Density of deer in the Llano Basin is the highest in the state. And there’s also quail, dove, feral pig, and turkey …” he quickly explained as a subject matter expert, pushing his father to the back of his mind, as he had gotten used to do after years of rage and bitterness. Fearing he could bore María with his hunting talk, he went back to her comment. “And you should not be worried about any other girlfriend. You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you?” he added putting his arm around her shoulders and softly kissing the top of her head.

But María had no time to answer his question, as her cell phone started to buzz. She froze as she fished it out of her jeans pocket and noticed Coach Colt name displayed on the screen. “Sorry, I have to get this…” she muttered giving Billy an apologetic look. He nodded noticing her concern. 

“I’m sure it’s good news, M…” he whispered letting go of her. 

María cleared her throat and braced herself for impact. What reason could Coach have to call her on a Sunday afternoon right before their first day off? “Hello Coach,” she greeted as soon as she flipped her phone open, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Hey McGill. Sorry to bother ya, I know ya’re not on campus…” he drawled. He sported a strong southern accent and sometimes María found it hard to keep track of all his words despite being a Texan born and raised herself. But his first words had been crystal clear and she tensed. 

“Sorry Coach, I thought we had Mondays free till further notice…” she felt the need to clarify and apologized, lowering her head. Billy, who had remained by her side when she had answered the call, tilted his head and looked at her questioningly. 

Coach Colt chuckled. “Nah, nah, relax McGill, didn’t mean it that way… Of course ya can be wherever ya want, that’s what free days are for…”

“Okay…” María hesitated, wondering once more why he was calling. He had never done so before, and she did not even know that he had her cell number. Waiting for his next words, she absentmindedly placed her left hand on Billy’s waist, wordlessly asking him to stay where he was. 

“I just thought ya might want to hear some good news, very good news indeed…” Coach Colt explained. He had suddenly realized that his call must have taken María by surprise and that she could be worried.

“Thanks Coach…” she managed to say, processing the fact that he had mentioned “good news”, and even repeated it. 

“To make a long story short: I’ve a friend in the Women's Golf Coaches Association, and she’s just informed me that ya’re officially a strong candidate for the WGCA Freshman of the Year Award. Well, in fact, it’s not official yet but ya’ve won the award!” Coach exclaimed.

María was so taken aback that she could not say a word. Hoping that she had the message right, she tightened the grip on her phone and managed to sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing Billy’s hand and looking at him with a bright smile. Relieved by the apparent good news, he sat down beside her and squeezed her hand.

“McGill, are ya there?” Coach Colt inquired. 

“Yes, Coach, of course… Sorry, I’m surprised and overwhelmed. Thanks for telling me, and thank you for your constant help. Please pass on my thanks to all the staff…” María’s good manners suddenly kicked in and she politely thanked him. 

He chuckled again. “Ok, ok. Ya’re welcome, McGill. Wish most players were like ya. Keep up the good work, will ya?”

“Absolutely, sir,” María quickly answered, still holding Billy’s hand. 

“Well, congrats! Ya know this’ll entail an invitation for at least one LPGA tournament this very season, probably the ShopRite LPGA Classic in New Jersey in June, we’ll have to talk about that. See ya on Tuesday.”

María’s eyes opened wide. She had not thought of any of that. It was a lot to process. “Thanks again, Coach. See you on Tuesday,” she said shutting her phone. 

As soon as the call ended, she raised her head and looked at Billy, who was still sitting on the bed beside her and holding her hand. 

“Guess what?” she asked widely smiling.

“Guess it’s good news…”Billy was discovering that he might be terrible at guessing what she wanted, or what she thought about a certain matter, but he was sure he had not lost his ability to read her face. He was positive that had not changed since they were growing up.

She nodded excitedly. “Yeah. Apparently I just won the WGCA Freshman of the Year Award. Can you believe it?”

It just took a second for the news to sink in, and Billy hugged her. “Of course I can. No surprise there. Congrats M!”

Feeling over the moon in his embrace, she slightly moved her head back to be able to whisper in his ear, keeping her arms around his neck. “This calls for a celebration, and I think we’re on the right place…” 

They spread the rest of their time in Llano on the spa, the indoor swimming pool and their room, thought it is fair to say that they found it hard to leave the room. Time flew by and on Monday evening they reluctantly checked out to drive back to their respective routines. 

As they approached Bradley’s SUV in the parking lot of the hotel, María turned around and hid her face on Billy’s chest, trying to extend their time together as much as possible. He hugged her, gently stroking her hair. “I guess that’s it then, Monday evening has finally arrived…” she muttered, her voice muffled against the fabric of his plaid shirt.

“Yeah, fast, uh?” he said gently turning her head to lock eyes with her.

She nodded keeping his gaze. “Yeah, I wish we could stay here…”

Billy sighed and framed her face with both hands. “M, don’t say that, college is waiting for you. Hey! You just won the WGCA Freshman of the Year Award, and that’s just the beginning …”

“Yeah, unbelievable, right? But I won’t see you until late June with that LPGA tournament and…” she whispered. She was still coming to terms with the fact that she had won one of the most prestigious awards in collegiate golf and her life was about to change significantly once more. For starters, she would be playing a LPGA tournament, which was a lifetime dream come true. Also a great opportunity and major challenge. But the fact that she would not be seeing Billy for a long time clouded it all. 

Sensing her angst, he leant in and gently kissed her. What started like a sweet kiss soon became a hungry one, and María rested her back on Bradley’s SUV. Something in the way her arms gripped Billy’s shoulders and pushed him against her body raised a red flag in his low self-esteem mind. He felt a pang of sadness as he thought that the last thing she needed now was an ignorant lout for a boyfriend, and maybe she was seeking a way out. 

“M,… we’ll be in touch every day. You’re still in, aren’t you?” he managed to ask for reassurance wrapping his arms around her waist, while she placed her hands on the back of his neck, tilting her head back to keep eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I’m all in, Billy, not seeing you isn’t gonna change that.” His hands were now under the hem of her t-shirt, caressing the small of her back. The feeling of his hands over her soft skin was sending shivers down her spine, and memories of the time they had just spent in their hotel room rushed through her mind. She had to do her best to focus on their conversation.

“Although I’ll miss you in one more way now...” she blurted out. 

Billy chuckled while he resumed caressing the skin on her back. They had not made love during the time they had spent together in Llano, but they had certainly been very close. María could not longer claim that she had no experience and no knowledge at all in that department.

“I knew you’d like it. I was good, wasn’t I?” he joked.

She playfully smacked his arm. “Don’t joke with that, Billy…” She was feeling a fierce blush creeping up her cheeks and she tried to hide her face on his chest.

“M, not joking, and it only gets better…” he whispered on her ear. She then raised her head and looked at him tugging on his shirt. “With you, I’m sure,” she simply stated.

“I love you….” he said as she leant in once more for another kiss. This time she made sure to let him know what she wanted, and to make it clear that she was still all in, despite the current and foreseeable circumstances. Billy deepened the kiss accordingly, holding her by her waist and her head and pressing her body to his. She clung to the back of his neck and eagerly responded until he suddenly broke the kiss growling, both of them trying to catch their breath. “Come on, María, don’t want you to be driving late, let’s go,” he whispered embracing her one last time and kissing the top of her head. 

“I love you,” she managed to say while opening the driver door, succeeding in keeping her tears at bay. He stayed by the SUV while she started the engine and pull out of the parking lot. They both waved and with that their romantic getaway was over. 

After a quiet drive, María arrived in Austin and headed for her dorm. As she opened the door, Bradley was nowhere to be found, which was totally unusual given it was Monday evening. Leaving her bag by the door, she took out her cell phone and typed two texts.

The first one to Billy:

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, FEB 23 2009, 7:03 P.M.: In Austin. Thnx 4 the best day & night of my life. Counting down the days to see u again. I love u!

She knew he would be still driving and probably would not see it until he arrived in Dillon, so she typed and sent the second one with no delay, this time to Bradley. 

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, FEB 23 2009, 7:05 P.M.: Hey! I’m home! Just wondering, want 2 grab a bite? In case I forget 2 tell u later, u were right about the swimsuit, about everything really…

Both Billy and Bradley saw her texts at different times and under very distinct circumstances. Bradley saw the incoming text right away, while he was gathering all his books and note pads after spending all afternoon and most of the evening studying with Tyra in the library. They had never been close but that had somehow changed in the course of that day. They had been both quite gloomy when they had met in the only class they shared that morning. Bradley could not stop thinking about María, and even worse, about what she would be doing right then with Billy in Llano. The time spent with her on Saturday, away from their college routine, going shopping and having dinner together had stirred his feelings for her. So used to keep them in check, he felt overwhelmed by their intensity the moment he had unknowingly stepped over the line. Before going to sleep on Sunday, with María’s bed empty beside his, he had decided he needed to shield himself from those feelings and if he even had to move out to achieve it, well, so be it.

Tyra was not in a better place herself. A few months into her first year in college, she felt that she was not happy at all. She had always thought that going to college would improve her life and change it for good, that it would take her out of Dillon and that by itself would be a huge improvement. But reality was far from what she had envisioned for herself when she got in UT. First of all, she felt lonely and missed her mother and her sister. Who would have believed it! But still she did not want to go home because she was sure they would sense her disappointment around college. María, her only friend in Austin, had a crazy schedule and barely met with her for a quick cup of coffee now that Bradley was back to his usual self. Tyra knew they were close, much closer than María and she had ever been and probably would be, and in addition they seemed to be in some kind of early stages of some screwball mating ritual despite María dating Billy, which both still surprised and worried her, sensing that María could be somehow involved in her sister’s and Billy breakup although there was a gap of six months in between. 

Secondly, she lived in a tiny studio far from campus and still struggled to make ends meet. She had to come out fast with extra money to pay for her next tuition installment and the thought of overtime just made her sick. Her part time job was much worse than the one she had at Applebee’s in Dillon, and her boss was a complete jerk, to put it mildly. But waitressing was the only job she felt qualified for and it was difficult to get a good one in a city full of students willing to be hired part-time. Of course she was well aware that her looks could help her with that, yet she was positive that should she have to resort to that she would end up having another jerk for boss. And at least now she knew her way around her current one; no need to start all over again for the same result. 

And not only was she struggling financially, she was also having a hard time academically. Maybe Mr. Trucks, that guidance counselor that came to Dillon High when Mrs. Taylor was promoted to principal, had been right. She was having trouble following the classes and keeping up with assignments. María had been helping her on her scarce free time, but they shared one class only and she was already thinking about summer courses in order to pass. She had no clue where she was going to get the money to pay for those, though.

And last but not least, her love life sucked, or even worse, was nonexistent. For the first time since she was a teenager she did not want to have anything to do with the opposite sex. She tried to forget the fact that she had ghosted Landry as soon as she had arrived in Austin (convincing herself that it was the less painful way to set him free from a relationship she had never been really in) by having casual sex with a coworker and a fellow student in her History class. Both were good guys and the former even asked her on several dates, but she broke up with him fearing that she would eventually end up hurting him given she was not likely to develop any romantic feelings for him. He was a really good guy and taking the decision was hard. She tried to convince herself to blame her incapacity to love on her current situation. Anything but admitting that the truth was that Landry and her recent flings fell always short whenever she compared them to the one and only person that held a very special place in her heart. And she hated that feeling, knowing that there was nothing she could do about it and, worse still, no hope that he would ever feel the same way for her.

Billy read her text two hours later, just after having pulled over in Tami Taylor’s street, trying to make up his mind if it was a good idea to ring the bell unannounced on a working night to seek her advice on his relationship with María, mainly to ask her if he should step aside and let her go despite his strong feelings for her, now that her life was irrevocably about to change. If she thought that was the right thing to do. 

He had been thinking about it since he had left from Llano. María had always trusted Mrs. Taylor and Billy felt he could use her advice too. He did trust Mac, but the subject touched him so closely and therefore asking him was out the question. And so was Coach Taylor; after all, he was his boss during football season and looking for relationship advice from him could be considered unprofessional. So worried about doing the right thing, it never crossed his mind how María would feel if he decided to break up with her, which was odd as the image of Mindy crying while he was breaking up with her still haunted him from time to time, always reminding him how he was capable of hurting the people that loved him. For some strange reason, he was positive that María would be over him soon in case he decided to break things off, as she had a full life and a promising career ahead of her. “She’s double majoring and just won the WGCA Freshman of the Year Award. Hell, she’s playing in the LPGA as a guest in three months… She’ll forge about me in the blink of an eye. What I don’t know is if I’ll be able to be over her anytime soon, but I’ll have to deal with that if it’s the right thing to do…”

As all these ideas rushed though his mind while he was driving back from Llano, Billy was completely missing the fact that María would give up everything to be with him, maybe because they had seen each other only a few days since they were together and as she had sensed on Christmas break, communication was not their strongest point despite being close lifelong friends. His low self-esteem had not helped either. The truth was that María had just never felt the need to do it so far, but she would probably take some surprising decisions if she felt her relationship with Billy threatened by her current life.

Oblivious to that possibility and totally determined to do the right thing for María no matter how painful it could be for him, Billy managed to muster enough courage and strength to hop out his truck and ring the Taylors’ bell.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Barefoot and clad in yoga pants and a worn Panther hoodie, very similar to the one María had borrowed from Billy, Tami Taylor opened the door and warmly smiled. In that very moment Billy amusedly thought to himself that he was not the only one using old Panther clothes despite being related to the East Dillon Lions now, and that small thought somehow made him feel better. It is surprising how human mind often finds solace in the smallest coincidence.

Tami was clearly not expecting anyone, yet if she was surprised to find Billy Riggins on their doorstep on a Monday evening once football season was over, she did not show it at all. No doubt she was always the perfect host. That was something María deeply admired about her, and secretly wished she could be like her.

"Hey Billy, how are you? Long time no see…" Tami greeted him.

"Good evening, Mrs. Taylor. Well, thanks, and you?" Suddenly becoming aware of the time it was and the fact that he might be intruding their family life, Billy regretted his impulsiveness and apologized right away, not waiting for her answer. "Sorry to drop by unannounced …" he politely said, slightly bowing his head and placing his hands in his jean pockets.

"No, it's ok, don't worry about that. But Coach is not home," Tami said, smiling.

Billy shook his head. "Thank you, madam. I'm not here to see Coach, was wondering if I could have a quick word with you. But I totally understand it might be late for the baby and…"

Tami sensed the worry in his eyes and his voice. "No, it's okay, Gracie is finally asleep. Coach's at a meeting with Buddy Garrity and some of the former Panther boosters, and Julie's just joined a study group and won't be home for a while, so I could really use the company. Come on in…" she explained fully opening the door to let him in.

As many times before, she thought there was something sweet and truly moving about the way the Riggins brothers' good manners stood out whenever they were given the chance. Tami had never met their parents, but Mac and Sue McGill had, and word on the street was that they had done a number on them. Still, their mother always came to her mind whenever she heard Billy or Tim addressing someone respectfully.

"Would you like anything to drink, Billy?" Tami asked when they were close to the kitchen on their way to the living room.

"No, thank you madam, I'm fine," he shyly answered.

"Please have a sit, Billy," she gestured toward the couch while she sat on a nearby recliner. "I'm actually glad that you stopped by, I've been wanting to thank you for taking Julie's car for that oil change on such short notice… I don't know what she was thinking…. Thank you." Tami knew what her daughter was thinking, and it was far from being about the oil change on her car. Julie was going through a rough patch after Matt had gone to Chicago without even saying good-bye. It was being a hard year for her and that had been the last straw. All her friends had gone to college and she felt lonely and sad all the time. Under those circumstances she had completely forgotten about the need of having her car serviced. Luckily for her, her father had to take it to run an errand in and noticed it.

"Anytime, madam," Billy politely said.

"So, how's Maria? I've been meaning to call her or reply to her last email but I haven't been able to find the time. My bad, she must think I've forgotten about her or something…" Tami said. Since he had shown up she could sense that Billy was worried about something, otherwise he would have never knocked on her door, and maybe bringing up María would make it easier to talk about whatever was worrying him. She just hoped it had nothing to do with her.

Billy shook his head. "No, madam, she'd never do that. She knows you're busy being the principal and all. She's well, very well indeed. Kicking ass in college, excelling at golf, I think that despite being busy, she is happy, really happy…" he trailed off, a bright smile on his face. He was clearly very proud of her.

"Oh, that's great, Billy. Sue told me it's not official yet, but she won the Freshman of the Year Award. Coach said that is one of the most important awards in collegiate golf…"

Tami could not believe what she was seeing, but Billy was blushing in front of her at the mere mention of María's award. "Yeah, she did. Honestly, it's not surprising the way she's golfing throughout the season and her stats, madam. She's gonna break a few records at UT if she keeps playing like that, just in her freshman year…" he proudly stated.

"That's what I heard. I can see that you are really proud…" Tami nodded.

"Yeah, I am. Not that I'm surprised, I always knew she had something different, so talented and so hard working… I'm sure she'll go places, madam…" Billy praised.

"I agree. And how are y'all doing with the long distance thing?" As soon as she had asked, she realized it might have come out too blunt. After all, it was Billy she was talking to, not María. "If you don't mind me asking of course…"

"Of course I don't mind." He shrugged, but he answered with no hesitation. "Well, very well. I mean, as well as could be expected. We don't see each other much but that's to be expected…" he repeated.

"Yeah, I've been there myself. It's hard…" Tami added, giving him a clue to talk if he felt the need to. She knew firsthand what a long distance relationship entailed.

"Yeah, it is, but we both knew it'd be hard when we signed up for it." Billy briefly looked around the room, like if he was looking for some kind of encouragement, and fixed his gaze back on Tami."That's not what bothers me…" he said in a low voice.

"Is there something wrong with Maria, Billy?" Tami asked as soon as she noticed his smile wear off his face as he said his last line.

"No, not at all, madam. It's me. I'm not good enough for her," he plainly stated keeping eye contact with Tami, a sad expression on his face.

"You what?" she asked again, totally taken aback by his response.

Billy shifted on the couch trying to find the right words to convey his feelings. "Yes, I'm not good enough for her," he reiterated. "The thing is… I was with Maria when she got the call about the award..."

"Oh, were you?" Tami chimed in encouraging him to speak. She was starting to figure out what was really worrying Billy, and if it was related to his low-self esteem like she could sense it was he would definitely welcome the encouragement.

"Yes… On Friday she found out she wouldn't be able to come home for spring break as an important tournament had been rescheduled. She called me to ask if we could meet somewhere halfway as she had Monday off and otherwise we'd not be seeing each other until June…" he slowly elaborated. "_If I'm really doing this, I'd better give Mrs. Taylor here the big picture…" _His mind was reeling but in all that mist he did not miss the fact that if he was seeking advice from Mrs. Taylor he needed to provide her with all the information.

He gulped and carried on, while Tami nodded. "Cole'd lend her his car and I just had to pick up the place… Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm just back from Llano. We've been together since yesterday noon," he said while his smile returned to his face.

"And y'all had a great time…" Tami could not help to say. She did not want to pry in their private life, but the way his face had just lit up spoke volumes.

Billy nodded happily. "We did. It's been just a day and a half, but I think it's been one of the happiest times in my life, and I'm not exaggerating…"

"I'm sure you aren't, Billy. From what you're telling me, y'all are happy together. And you say that y'all are both dealing okay with the long distance thing. So, let me just be blunt here, what's the problem?" she asked.

He shrugged and briefly looked down. "Me. As I said, I'm not good enough for her, madam," he softly said while he raised his gaze.

"Please, Billy, no need to be so formal. Given our current conversation you can call me Tami…"

"Thank you, Tami…"

"You're welcome. Now, care to elaborate why you think you are the problem?" Tami inquired again. As she had suspected, his current worry was directly linked to his self-esteem. So she got up from the recliner she had been sitting on and softly drop herself on the other side of the coach, in order to be closer and help Billy express his concerns.

Billy looked down again and started touching his State ring nervously, rotating it on his finger. "Because she deserves much more that an ignorant lout for a boyfriend…"

"Excuse me?"

Billy looked up and smiled again. "That is who I am, madam… Sorry, Tami. No need to sugarcoat it…"

"Billy, Maria is clearly in love with you." Tami sighed. "She doesn't think that of you!" she exclaimed.

Still rotating his ring on his finger, Billy decided to bring up his main concern. It was just a matter of time for him. "Maybe, maybe not yet but she will think that eventually… anyway, what's eating me is, should I step aside and let her fly solo? She's meant to achieve great things, Tami, she really is. She's already winning awards and that is just the beginning. I don't want to stand in her way… So, would that be the right thing to do, Tami? I love her, more than I ever thought I could love someone, but if that is the right thing to do I'll do it."

"What?… She'll never think that. She's really in love with you, boy. And I'm sure you know she's been for a while now…" Tami said, hoping not to be disclosing a secret and thus breaking María's trust in her attempt to bring some clarity to Billy's thoughts. In her many years as a counselor she had seen her fair share of students who had poor self-esteem, but this seemed to be a severe case, and in an adult no less. "_Oh, Lord, he's really messed up. It's true their parents did a number on these kids…"_

His next words just confirmed her diagnosis. "I know that, Tami. And, frankly, I think it's a miracle and sometimes I'm afraid she's gonna wake up from that spell and realize I'm not worth it… I just want to do the right thing for her…"

She knew from experience that it usually took both time and long counseling sessions to help someone overcome those self-deprecating thoughts, but right now there was no time for that. She had to convince Billy that María was in love with him and would not think that about him as soon as possible, before he had a chance to act on his thoughts. Otherwise, they would both end up hurt for no reason. _"Thank God he's come for advice first…_"

"I don't think that's the right thing to do, Billy, not at all…"

"I am really glad you think that way 'cause I don't want to do it," Billy said.

"Good! Because, you know what? It sounds to me like if you're looking for a way out…" she softly added. She was certain it was not the case, but she wanted to let him know how preposterous his idea was.

"What? I don't want a way out. That the impression you get? I mean, how could I? I do love her…" he retorted.

"I'm sure you do. And putting María's well-being before your own is very thoughtful of you. But, listen to me, Billy, what she really needs is to have you by her side every step of the way, whether it's here in Dillon on college break, or playing a LPGA tournament and receiving an award in Florida, and even more if she's failing to win, God forbid it. Wherever she is and whatever she's doing, in person or just on the phone. That's a partner."

Billy nodded, a warm feeling of relief washing over his body. "Okay…"

"And let me just be clear about one more thing, Billy. She's a smart girl, and she's chosen to be with you, so it occurs to me that you're worth it, don't you think? She could be with whoever she wants, and she's with you, Billy. Don't forget it anytime those undermining thoughts about yourself come to your mind…"

Tami's words did the trick, and not only that day. Billy did not know it back then, but he would remember them every time those thoughts dared to come back threatening his precarious self-confidence in the years to come, finding reassurance in them. And for that he would be forever thankful to Tami.

While Billy thanked Tami for saving him from making a huge mistake (those were his exact words when she walked him to the door), María was too excited to fall asleep after their romantic getaway. After waiting on Bradley to answer her text for more than an hour, she had finally decided to go the cafeteria on her own. There she had joined Annie and John and some of her teammates. Most of them had spent their day off away from college too and were eager to share the details. Nevertheless, María found it difficult to tell them about her trip to Llano. Just a few hours away from it, she could already feel that it had been a special moment in her life, and she was unwilling to share it with a bunch of almost strangers.

So by 9 pm she had called it a day hoping to find Bradley in their room. The truth was that he had become one of her best friends since they had cowritten that valedictorian speech during the final weeks of their senior year in Dillon High. Besides, this getaway had been his idea in the first place. And unlike her lifelong friends, he shared her college life with her, so she was looking forward to telling him about Llano. But he was nowhere to be found. Exhausted from all the emotions from the last days, she fell asleep as soon as she closed her eyes in her bed.

It was past midnight when María woke up to soft steps in their room.

"Bradley, is that you?" she whispered sitting down on her bed.

"Yeah. Sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep…" he muttered.

"Are you okay?" María softly asked turning on her bedside lamp. She put her hand on her eyes trying to get used to the sudden light.

Bradley, who was changing into an old Panthers t-shirt, turned around and looked at her. "Yeah, why wouldn't be?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. It's past midnight and you never texted me back. It's not like you at all. Is something going on?" she inquired once more, blinking to let her eyes adjust to the light, and turning her gaze to the wall next to her bed once she noticed he was getting changed.

This time it was Bradley who shrugged. "No, everything's good. You?"

"Good, good. I just wanted to thank you for everything…" she thanked him still looking to the wall.

"Yeah, I forgot!" he lied. He had been thinking about her most of the day. "How'd it go?"

"Well, very well…" María whispered.

"Okay, you mind if we talk tomorrow? You must be exhausted and I'm quite tired myself. Is that okay?" he quickly said, not letting her even start to tell him, as he sat on his bed.

"Of course. Good night," María said turning off her lamp and lying on her bed to go back to sleep. She was intrigued about Bradley's odd behavior, but he had been right to guess she was tired, and before she had actually time to become worried her mind slowly drifted into sleep.

On the contrary, Bradley stayed awake for a while listening to María's even breathing. After the weekend he found it hard to keep María at arm's length, and in that state of mind he had tried to do his best not to be rude to her. But not answering her text had been rude for sure, and he had also been a little been sharp when she had just asked him if he was okay. Remembering all that, Bradley felt the sudden need to wake her up again and tell her about his decision to move out, to get it off his chest, but that would certainly be beyond rude and selfish. _"Since when have I become a jerk?"_ So he tried to relax and sleep, determined to talk to her the following morning.

Yet due to María's busy schedule, they did not have the chance to talk until late afternoon. They conversed for nearly half an hour in one of the common rooms, sitting down on a couch in the quiet far corner that had become their favorite spot in the dorm when they were not in their room or the library. Their conversation left her so devastated that as soon as she entered their room she went straight for her laptop, starting to type an email to Billy, and letting the tears run down her cheeks.

* * *

Date: February 24th 2009 5:47pm

From: María McGill

To: rigginsrigs

Subject: I miss you

I know, I know, we've just talked on the phone a while ago, but something's just come up and I need to share it with you. I know you'll be busy right now with all your clientele picking up their cars after work, and you'll probably won't read this until tomorrow, but you already know how I feel about our emails. And I really, really need to tell you about this.

But, first and foremost, I love you and I miss you. When I woke up today my first thought was: "One day less to see Billy." Cheesy, uh? But it's the truth. I just wish things were different and we could spend more time together, but as I said before, that's not gonna make me love you any less.

Once that said, Bradley has just told me out of the blue that he's moving out as soon as possible. I'm … surprised to say the least… And that's not all. He's moving into Tyra's small study "for the time being, till I find something closer to campus" (his words). I have to confess I panicked when he said it and I lost my ability to speak for a few seconds. Suddenly move out? In the middle of the term? With Tyra? I think they've hardly spoken two words in a row to each other since August… When I asked why, he gave nothing clear. "I need to focus on my studies and there're way too many distractions in the dorms", "Tyra'll welcome to share the rent,"…. All sounded like excuses, if you ask me.

The thing is, I'm worried Billy. I can't picture my life in college without him. Since the end our senior year in Dillon High he's become one of my best friends. And you know how things are here, it's hectic and very demanding and now I've just realized that it'll be much harder without him. I know we'll still be in the same classes but I'm gonna miss him in my daily routine. He really helps me deal with all this craziness and he calms me down whenever I need to.

I never told you this before but right back from Christmas break I started worrying about you. I know it is not fair at all because you gave me no reason to worry but I did anyway. Maybe the thought of not seeing you for months took a toll on me… I don't know… The thing is I started worrying thinking that you were in Dillon on your own. Of course I knew you were working in the shop, and at the range on weekends, but once football season was over you had spare time during the week, and I suddenly was worried you could feel lonely and look for company… I know, I know, it sounds crazy and you gave me no reason to think that, which is exactly what Bradley told me when I shared my fears with him. He said that if you trust your partner you shouldn't let yourself carried away because it wouldn't be fair, and he was right. He gave me the right advice in the right moment.

And that's only an example. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through college without him.

But that's not all. Not pretending to sound pretentious here, but I think it is my fault that he's suddenly moving out. Coming to think of it, I may have overstepped some boundaries right before going to Llano. Don't worry, nothing happened, but now I sense that asking him to go shopping with me and inviting him to dinner afterwards might have been confusing. It certainly wasn't for me and it seemed like the right thing to do then but I don't know… It's no secret that he's feelings for me and maybe he's no longer comfortable living together. I might have messed things up and I don't think it can be fixed if that's the case.

Well, what an email, uh? I hope you're still talking to me after reading it. I could really use some help with Bradley. What can I do, Billy? What would you do if you were me?

I love you and I miss you.

Yours,

María

* * *

Date: February 24th 2009 6:33 pm

From: rigginsrigs

To: María McGill

Subject: Re: I miss you

Hey M!

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU.

Just got your email before heading home. Nothing in it's gonna change the way I feel about you. Corny, uh? Beat that!

Most important: don't worry. I'll call you tonight, ok?

Love,

Billy

* * *

It was nearly nine o'clock when Billy called her. María quickly flipped open her phone as soon as she saw the caller ID. She was getting ready for bed and as the previous day Bradley was nowhere to be found.

"Hey Billy," she answered, sitting on her bed and leaning her back on the small headboard.

"Hey M. How are you?"

"I've been better, you?" Her mind was still spinning from her conversation with Bradley.

"Tired. But not too tired to tell you that I love you, M, and that I'm all in. Nothing has changed. Well, something has, I think I'm more in love with you after Llano, if that's possible." Billy had been longing to say that to her since he had read her email. He deeply regretted his thoughts about breaking up with her to do the right thing and seeing the way she had been able to overcome her own fears had made him want to reassure her.

"Billy, I …" She was going to say "I love you, too", but he was too eager to convey his feelings for her.

"No, listen to me, please M. I mean it. I love you. I know sometimes communication is hard and it's even harder doing the long distance thing, but I love you. And I love that you've told me about your fears and about Bradley, M…" he trailed off.

"Billy, I love you, too. And I miss you. And thank you for reaching out so quickly…"

"Hey, of course, I know that you're worried about Bradley…" he said, trying to make it sound casual. As much as he did not like to acknowledge it, the fact that Bradley and María shared a small dorm room had been worrying him since María had gone back to college after Thanksgiving. He trusted María, and Cole was a good guy, but Bradley's feelings for her seemed to be strong. And he could not help but feel a pang of jealousy every time he pictured Bradley in María's day to day routine.

"Yeah, what do I do now, Billy? Do you think I pushed too hard?" she asked.

Billy sighed. He had learnt over the past months to come to terms with the fact that María and Bradley lived together as close friends, but he had not been prepared for María's revelations about overstepping some boundaries. He did trust her, but he knew how easy it was to mess with someone else's feelings unintentionally. She already felt bad about it, and he should not be the one adding fuel to the fire. "What she really needs it to have you by her side every step of the way," Tami had said the day before. "_Time to put it into practice_," he thought.

"M, Bradley's a grown up guy. I'm sure you didn't make him do anything he did not want to do," he tried to reassure her.

"But if I crossed any line…" María insisted.

Billy took a deep breath. "M, don't blame yourself. If nothing happened I don't think you crossed any line…"

"And why is he suddenly leaving? He's not even waiting for a transfer, Billy, he's moving off campus…"

A thought rushed through Billy's mind. Maybe Bradley had a much more mundane to go and live with Tyra, and María was missing on it. That would certainly make her feel better. "Well, maybe he's got something going on with Tyra? You thought about that?"

"What?... Bradley and Tyra? That's… crazy Billy…" she stammered.

Billy just chuckled. "Why?"

"Because they're not even friends, and they hardly have anything in common…" she quickly elaborated.

He chuckled again. "Come on, M, you really think you need all that to get laid? Casual sex can be very enjoyable…"

There it was again. That feeling that he was much experienced than her in life, that they were no peers hit her hard after his words. María pushed it to the back of her mind. "No, but if something like that's been going on I think I would've noticed …"

"Not really, and maybe it's happened while you were in Llano…" Billy trailed off, completely oblivious to the reaction his previous comment had caused on María.

That was certainly a possibility. "Yeah, maybe… Anyway, what do I do?" she asked again

"M, if that's not case and he's feelings for you and you think he needs space, give him space," Billy advised, trying to convince himself that it was the right advice and not his jealous-self talking.

"You mean, just let him go?"

"That's right. If he really needs it, he'll come back when he's ready…" he answered.

"And if it has nothing to do with me and he's with Tyra? He'll never come back. And that really scares me, because I've come to rely a lot on him, Billy…" María sighed.

The thought of María relying on Bradley "a lot" did not sit well on Billy. Of course it was nothing new to him, but hearing María admit it was not nice. Tami's words came back: María needed him by her side no matter what.

"M, I know you're gonna miss him. It'll just take you some time to adjust, but you're gonna be fine. And if he needs space or if he's with Tyra, either way, I think you can't make him change his mind…"

"Yeah, you're probably right…" María said closing her eyes.

"But, on the bright side, if he's with Tyra he'll probably come back as soon as the sexual attraction goes away… Damn, she's smart, but she can be a pain in the ass. Ask Timmy if you don't believe me…" he added.

It was María who chuckled this time, opening her eyes. "Well, I think Timmy played his part in all that,…"

"Hey, so you're alone in your dorm now…" Billy said trying to push off any thought about Bradley by focusing on her.

"Yeah, I am. He's supposedly moving out later this week but I haven't seen him since we talked this afternoon," she confirmed, wondering what he meant by that statement.

"And wearing my hoodie by any chance?" he softly whispered.

"Yeap, I am. Just your hoodie, nothing else…" she chuckled. Now she knew what he meant and María was starting to feel goose bumps all over her body. But she was not in mood, so she opted to change the subject. "Billy?"

"Yeah?"

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again. "Thank you. I love you."

He immediately understood her change of topic. She was way too emotional right now and she needed rest. "I love you, too, M."

"Talk to you tomorrow?" she managed to say hiding her own emotions.

"Sure thing, M. Good night."

"Night, Billy."

The following weeks María fell back again in her classes and golf routine, but as she had predicted her college life was no longer the same without Bradley by her side. Not better, not worse; just different.

He moved out later that same week she had been in Llano, packing all his belongings on Thursday evening under María's watchful and incredulous eye. She had decided to follow Billy's advice and let Bradley go, no further questions asked, convinced it was the right thing to do no matter the actual reasons he had to leave. After all, it was his will. Yet that determination did not make his departure any easier to her. Plus the feeling that she had done something to induce him to take that decision had definitely stuck in her and she felt responsible in some way for his sudden decision. She had completely ruled out an eventual relationship between Bradley and Tyra. "_Should that have been his reason to move out, he would've told me._"

That Thursday evening when Bradley had finished packing he turned around and looked at her. María was sitting in her desk working on a Social Psychology assignment, or, better said, pretending that she was working on it but keeping a close eye on Bradley. As she heard him talking, she raised her head from her laptop and shifted on her seat to face him.

"Well, I think that's all," he said gathering his bags on the floor.

"Don't worry. I'll have a look in case you're leaving something behind," she offered from her chair.

"Thank you María. Well, I guess that's it. See you tomorrow in class..." he said taking the bags and turning for the door of their small room.

"Wait, Bradley, please," she quietly begged standing up.

He chuckled. "I'm not going off to war, María." He was just a few steps away of finally making it out of that room and the last thing he needed was a good-bye drama scene. As he was having trouble masking his feelings for her since the weekend, he would not trust himself in a eventual situation like that.

She only nodded, not returning his chuckle. "I know, just wanted to tell you that I'm really gonna miss you. I don't know why you're really doing this, but I respect it. Please don't hesitate to come back if you want to..." she said. Given it was the end of February, it was highly unlikely that any student would transfer into a dorm room just for three months, so María would be the only freshmen to have a single room for the rest of the school year. Of course, that was unless John and Annie break up again, but that also seemed very unlikely.

"Will do," Bradley nodded moved by her words, dropping his bags on the floor to hug her. His unplanned embrace took María by surprise but she shyly placed his arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder trying to hold back her tears.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, María, but I really need to do this. Call me if you need anything...," he whispered in her ear. He struggled with himself wondering should it be appropriate to kiss her cheek or her temple but finally decided against it, softly breaking his embrace and quickly taking his bags and leaving the room, while María stood in the middle of it.

The minute Bradley was out the door her daily routine changed. Although he kept a close eye on María and tried to spend as much time as possible with her in the library and during classes despite living off campus, at the end of the day she came to an empty dorm room and no one to share her growing concerns with.

Noticing her angst from afar, Billy called her several times a day, and besides those short calls, they started having long phone conversations every night before she went to bed. Not that María had not known that before, but he did have a great ability to relax her and make her laugh, which was a very much needed help while she was readjusting to college life without Bradley.

Timmy and even Miles came on board too, regularly writing and calling her, which was a huge shift in Tim's habits. But to his surprise, he found himself happy waiting for her emails and phone calls, as it gave his current boring college life a purpose he did not know he was missing.

María also resumed contact with Tami and Julie. She hated to acknowledge it, but she had been so busy her first months in college that she had barely written and called them. And now, with Bradley out of the picture, finally she had the time to reconnect with them. That is how she learnt that Julie was still coping with Matt departure for Chicago without saying good-bye, and that she was as really looking forward to college for a change of scenery.

So in the end, it took María a couple of weeks but as time went by, she realized she was no longer missing Bradley, as their time together had been very much been replaced by correspondence and calls from her friends, and golf and classes kept her busy the rest of the time.

Of course it also helped that during that readjusting time she kept excelling both at classes and at golf. She played her best golf in all tournaments, keeping and even improving her excellent stats, and by the time she was about to take her finals Coach Colt called her to his office to discuss her first LPGA tournament.

"Hey McGill, com'on in, have a sit," he drawled when María knocked on his office door.

"Good afternoon. Thank you sir," she politely said sitting down on a chair across his desk.

"Well, time's come. Ready for yar first LPGA tournament?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Coach Harris here will give ya the details later and help ya with plane tickets and reservations," Coach Colt said turning towards Coach Harris, who was casually sitting on the edge of his boss's desk and winked when María turned her gaze to him. "But here's the thing. Ya'll need a caddie, kid. Unfortunately all the staff'll be busy getting ready for next season. Otherwise one of us would come with ya. Timing sucks. But as that's not possible, ya'll have to take your own caddie..." he trailed off.

"Yes, sir..." María repeated, suddenly overwhelmed. It was finally happening, she was playing a LPGA tournament!

"Please someone who knows about golf, McGill. A friend, a teammate, a former coach... That's up to ya, but make sure he or she knows the game. As much as a good golfer ya are, ya're gonna need help on the course. Ya may feel a lot of pressure and a bit overwhelmed," he carried on.

"Understood, Coach. I'll see to it."

"And bring yar family too, McGill. It's important that ya feel their support on and off the course," Coach Colt added.

"I'm sure my parents will be delighted to come, sir," María nodded smiling.

"Good. So that'll be all, McGill."

"Thanks for everything, Coach..." she quickly said smiling to both Coaches, rising from the chair and heading for the door.

"McGill?" Coach Colt called her.

"Yes, sir?" she said turning around, her hand already on the door knob.

"Just enjoy it. I'm positive it's just gonna be the first of many LPGA tournaments for ya. Okay?" María had never seen the head coach smiling widely before.

"Okay, sir, Thanks again," she managed to say before exiting the office.

As soon as she was in the far end of the range, María took her cell phone out of her golf bag and wrote a quick text.

"Hey, would u like 2 be my caddie in a LPGA tournament? I can't think of anyone better 4 the job. But I'm afraid payment will have 2 be in kind..."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

In the years to come María would remember her first LPGA appearance and all its preparation in a complete blur, like a misty sequence of events in which she did not have much to contribute to but to let herself go with the flow. Whereas most golfers commonly define their first tournaments in the pro circuit like a life-altering experience, it was almost a deal breaker for her. "_If this is what I am supposed to be doing after college, I'm not sure I want it_," she thought once she was back in college packing to go home for a much needed summer break.

Taking it into perspective one could say that the timing could not have been worse. Right before leaving for New Jersey María had been preparing all her finals for Business and Psychology while playing the NCAA Regional, first, and the NCAA Championship in Scottsdale, Arizona, a week later, which proved to be a major challenge.

Under those circumstances, Bradley's quiet assistance turned out to be key in the academic front. Although they were no longer living in the same dorm room, they did spend most of her studying time together in the library during those crazy last weeks of their freshman year, and that helped her through that time along with calls from Billy and her friends.

"_So much for shielding myself_. _But at least it's not likely I'd do something stupid with people around,_" was Bradley's regular thought before falling asleep every night. He could see that María really appreciated the help, overwhelmed as she was by the events of the last part of the season, and he actually missed her, so ultimately he decided to try and enjoy his time with her as much as possible, even if it was surrounded by books and notes in a crowed library and they barely had a chance to exchange a word. Summer was just around the corner and he was positive he would not be seeing her much once in Dillon with Billy in the picture.

Besides, although Bradley did not want to acknowledge it, he was starting to have second thoughts about having moved out from the dorm by that time. As Billy had predicted, he was having trouble adjusting to living with Tyra, which was something he had not even remotely considered when he had taken the leap. She was a strong, independent and smart girl, but she was going through a rough patch and was moody and cranky most of the time. Definitely Tyra was nothing like María, whose words had to be dragged out whenever she was worried about something. That, together with the fact that Tyra had become used to living on her own during the last months and definitely found it hard to share her space with a non-relative, made sparks fly every time their paths crossed in the small studio. But not a single time did he mentioned his current living situation to María, nor complained to Tyra about it. He was well aware that the latter was not at her best and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her after welcoming him in her accommodation.

All María's hard work finally paid off and in addition to passing all her exams with flying colors, she set the single-season NCAA scoring average record as a freshman at 72.33. But she had barely time to celebrate. On that same day she learned about her record, she met Coach Harris in order to make the necessary arrangements for her upcoming trip to New Jersey.

Coach Harris and María had gotten off to a rocky start when she had first arrived in UT, and they both were to blame for it. He had been complaining about her overbackswing non-stop during her first weeks in college, and she had not taken it well at all. Truth to be told, she was not used to coaches criticizing her swing (quite the opposite) and she kept thinking that she had not changed her swing at all, and thus, starting to doubt herself.

Luckily for her, she had told Billy (still not his boyfriend) about it in one of her emails, and after watching some videos she sent him, he had agreed with Coach Harris. "And I'm sorry to tell you that Coach Harris is right, you tend to overbackswing. But don't worry, you can fix it easily, just change a little bit your feet, moving slightly the tip of your right foot to the right (not too much, your stance is great as it is now). Tell me how it goes and, very important, keep calm," Billy had written.

That advice was one of the things that drew María and Billy closer during her first weeks in Austin, and definitely was a game changer in her golf practice and her interaction with Coach Harris.

A professional golf player until a severe back injury forced him to retire when he was into his third pro season at the early age of twenty-three, Connor Harris noticed María's potential the first time he saw her on a promotional video for GMI. That had been his only reason to be so hard on her and her swing.

Soon after his promising pro golf career had been cut short by his injury, he turned golf coach and Coach Colt, who had been his former coach, contacted him and offered him a job at UT. That is how he became a scout for the Longhorns female golf team, a task he had been excelling at for the last two years as María's WGCA award and NCAA scoring average record as a freshman proved.

He was brand new to his job in Austin when he came across that video for GMI and as soon as he observed María's swing and the way she handled herself on the course he knew she had a brilliant future ahead of her as a golfer. He contacted his colleagues in GMI, and soon enough he flew to Florida to talk to her coaches and seek further information about her. He was really impressed by her file and all her grades and merits. It was something quite unusual. And she played soccer remarkably well, too. But of all the praises he heard from the coaches in GMI, there was one that stood out among the others: apparently, she possessed a remarkable ability to use disappointment as a steppingstone and not a stumbling block, and that was highly uncommon in a golfer that young.

On his trip to Florida he also he learnt that she had just finished her junior High School year and against all her teachers' advice she was not returning for her senior year, which meant that golf was not her first priority in life. While other coaches would have seen that as a weakness in an athlete, he thought it just enhanced the rest of her qualities, showing determination and self-confidence.

So by the time he was flying back to Austin, Connor Harris had no doubt she was a diamond in the rough, and as soon as he landed he reviewed all the information gathered, shared it with Coach Colt and made sure to start the necessary internal procedure for UT to offer her a full golf scholarship.

"Every NCAA Division I college is gonna fight over her, Coach. She's already gotten letters of interest from ASU and Oklahoma, but she's Texan, and she's shown that being home is important to her. I'm sure she can make a difference in our team, Coach. She's worth the try," he explained to his boss. The Athletics Board signed on their sound proposal, and that is how María ended up in University of Texas.

Her stunning freshmen year in college had proved Coach Harris to be right, much to the delight of the whole golf coaching staff and the Athletics Board, and as María knocked on the open staff office door he wondered if her progression would ever reach an end point.

"Good afternoon, Coach, I was wondering if I could have a word with you, please. But if it's not the right time I can come back later," she shyly said, taking off her globe from her left hand and pinning it in the back pocket of her golf shorts.

"Come on in, McGill, take a seat," Coach Harris said closing the folder he had been reviewing on his small desk. Of course he had time for their star golfer. Everything else could wait. He kept talking while she sat down in a chair across him. "So, how does your new record feel?" he asked smiling. They kept their stats and knew about the record the moment María putted in the eighteenth hole of her last round in Arizona, but that morning the NCAA had just released a statement making it official.

She smiled back. "Good, good. I still can't believe it, it's a bit overwhelming. But that record also belongs to all the staff and my teammates, I would've never done it without all your help." The truth was that María was really excited about the record, as it was something that she had not expected at all and it was a gift from heaven after those last weeks of stress and hard work. But she wanted to share it with her team and, of course, the golf coaching staff.

"_Besides talented, humble_", Coach Harris thought. "And what about your first LPGA tournament? Just ten days till the ShopRite LPGA Classic..."

"Overwhelmed, I think. I mean, it's the LPGA…" She smiled again. She truly liked Coach Harris despite their rocky start. She was well aware that as a scout he had been the one after the UT scholarship offer, and he had kept a close eye on her golf throughout the season.

"Speaking of which, let's go over the main things you have to get ready." She was a clever girl and there was no point in beating around the bush here. "First of all, you already found a caddie?" he asked.

María´s smile faded as soon as she heard the word caddie. She shook her head. "Not yet, sir. And I'm worried about that. The one I had in mind won't be able to make it. He can't skip work for a whole week, and I can't really think of anyone else…"

The day Billy had turned down her offer to be her caddie had been a difficult one. Of course for María, who could not think of anyone else sharing that experience with her, but it had even been harder on Billy himself. He had been over the moon when he had received her text, but as hours went by reality started to sink in. By the time he called her that night he had already made up his mind but was devastated. After saying that he was honored that she had chosen him, Billy had added that he found it impossible to close the garage for more than two days. He had been slowly building a loyal clientele for the last year and was just about to reap the benefits of all his hard work. And it was not just money, there was more to it than that. "M, finally the Riggins name is beginning to be known for something different from beers, wild parties, scandals or high school football. And I don't wanna disappoint the people that have trusted me despite that background. There's a chance that our kids might be actually proud of me… I just can't close the shop for a week on such short notice. I'm sorry, M, there's nothing I'd want more than being with you in a LPGA tournament…" Billy had explained. María had swallowed the lump in her throat after listening to him. "I know. It's okay, Billy, I totally understand," she had managed to say, while she was thinking about his mention of kids, as it was a topic they had never discussed before.

Pushing that conversation with Billy to the back of her mind, she tried to focus on Coach Harris again, but he was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry, McGill." He could see that she was really upset.

María shrugged, a sad smile on her face. "Thanks. I guess I'll ask one of my teammates. Most of them will be heading home by then though and I don't know…"

At this point, a crazy thought rushed through his mind, and he blurted it out. "Listen, I'm gonna be in New York scouting a few golfers around that time, can be your caddie if you like. I won't be able to be there for all practice rounds, but I know the course well and…" he quietly offered. He felt that it would be a shame that the best freshman of the year would have to make her first LPGA appearance with a non golfer for a caddie.

"Would you… would you really do that?" María asked surprised.

He nodded. "Sure. I could use the distraction and seeing some old friends… I do miss that world, you know? It is a win-win situation for both of us."

María smiled again. "Well, thanks Coach, I really appreciate it."

"Okay, it's settled then," he stated."That brings us to the second point. Is your family coming with you?"

"My mother is, sir. My father suffered a stroke last year and doctors have advised him not to travel for a few months…" she trailed off. Sue had been able to change several shifts in the hospital so she would be able to be with her daughter the whole week.

"I'm sorry to hear that, McGill."

María shifted on her seat and placed her hands on her lap. "Oh, no, don't be, sir, he's fully recovered and he's doing great…"

"He'll watch it on tv, then."

Until that time, María had not realized that the tournament was to be broadcast live on national television. She nervously tucked a loosen strand of hair from her pony tail behind her ear. "Yeah, I guess…"

Sensing her nervousness about the event and its television coverage, he quickly decided to focus their conversation on practical things. "So, accommodation… Staying at Stockton Seaview Hotel is ridiculously expensive and, frankly, you'd be so focused on the competition that you wouldn't enjoy it at all. I'd recommend staying at a hotel in Atlantic City. They're much more affordable and most of them have a shuttle service to the course. Here you have a list of the ones I know," he handed her a sheet of paper with a few names scrabbled in a big and rounded handwriting.

"Noted, Coach, thanks," she nodded taking it.

"Coach Colt is taking care of the registration arrangements with the LPGA, insurance, and authorizations, so you don't have to worry about all that red tape. I think that's all for now. Any questions?" Coach Harris inquired.

María chuckled folding the sheet of paper he had just given her. "I'm sure I'll have plenty, as soon as I get used to the idea of actually playing at a LPGA event…"

"Fair point, McGill. Don't hesitate to share all your concerns," he said.

"Will do, sir. Thanks again for everything," she thanked him bowing her head and rising from the chair.

"One more thing, McGill," he voiced out, making her stop on her tracks and turning to face him. "It's just a possibility but it's happened before, and you should be ready just in case. If your performance's good, which I've no doubt it'll be, you may get offers to turn pro. It may be a good idea to refer them to your parents or even someone familiar with the sports world…" he explained, amused by María's stunned face as she was listening to him. It was clear that thought had never crossed her mind.

She immediately thought of Jason Street. His father's favorite football player and Tim's best friend, he would always find the time to write long letters to her every week, knowing that she was at boarding school far from home, keeping her in the loop with developments in Dillon. He just stopped doing it for four weeks, right after his accident, and he resumed writing as soon as he felt well enough to dictate to his mother. Jason´s letters had been the link connecting her to her friends´ lives in Dillon while she had been away, and she would be forever grateful for that. Now that he was in New Jersey and she was in Austin, they still kept in touch. In fact, Jason had called to congratulate her as soon as he had learnt about the award, and when María had mentioned that she would be playing in New Jersey he had told her that he would be delighted to see her.

"Actually, I've got a friend who's a sports agent in NYC," she said. "He's starting right now but he's working for a large firm. I totally trust him. I can talk to him, sir."

"That'd be great, McGill. And please call me Harris or even Connor when we're not dealing with something UT related. After all, I'm gonna be your caddie in a few days…" he offered.

"Okay, Harris, I'll try to bear that in mind. Thanks again." Connor seemed too familiar all of a sudden. After all, he was still her coach, and he would still be for three more years. "_Harris it is_," she thought to herself.

By the time she realized it, María found herself on the tee of the first hole at Stockton on the New Jersey shore. "On the tee, from Dillon, Texas, María McGill." Those words and a magnificent drive marked her entry as a guest into the world of professional golf.

Coach Harris turned out to be a great caddie despite not having too much time for practice rounds the days prior to the tournament. As he had assured María, he knew the course very well. Besides, he really knew his way around that world. He was very well connected and by the end of the week he had introduced María to most of the players, coaches, caddies and reporters that were attending the event.

It is fair to say that he definitely played a key role in her outstanding performance during that week. She was smart enough to let him lead her, despite he being the caddie and not the other way around, and she felt really comfortable golfing under his guidance. He had an almost commanding way of giving instructions, but he was patient and she welcomed it.

"This par 4 has a generous fairway off the tee shot, but be careful with the second shot. Deep cross bunkers guard against errant or short shots, see? Par is a good score here, McGill. I wouldn't overdo it, okay? You still have birdie chances at the next hole, par 3," he explained to her on the tee of the seventeenth in her first round, when she was too overwhelmed to think straight.

She took his advice, and her left-to-right 20ft eagle putt on the eighteenth finished just inches from the hole, allowing her to tap-in for a closing birdie in her first round.

She even improved her score the following days, making a hugely favorable impression on her debut and finishing with a top 30. When she returned the scorecard after her last round she felt physically and mentally exhausted. But she had to get a grip of herself as soon as Harris told her that NBC wanted to interview her, live.

She slowly approached the interview area and patiently waited for her turn, taking small sips of water to try and calm her racing heart. Meanwhile, her mother was allowed to access the waiting area.

"Hey sweetie, congrats!" Sue exclaimed hugging her daughter.

"Hi mom!" María said. She had not expected to see her mother there and she held her for a few seconds.

Taken aback by María's reaction, Sue slightly tilted her head and cupped her daughter's face. "Are you all right, María?" she asked concerned.

María nodded. "I am, mom. Just tired, and overwhelmed. I guess all the tension is wearing off now, and, to tell you the truth, I was not counting on being interviewed on national television…"

"It's okay, honey," Sue tried to comfort her. "Let's just sit down and take a deep breath," she added leading María to a nearby chair. "I just spoke to your dad on the phone. He was the one who told me you're gonna be interviewed on tv, they announced it as soon as you finished your round. And I managed to get through security… Anyway, he sends his love and congrats. As you can imagine, he's over the moon… He and Billy have been watching you together today."

Billy's mention seemed to wake María up from that kind of trance she had fallen in as adrenaline was quickly kicking off her system. "Oh, have they?" she asked smiling. But she did not have time to hear her mother's answer, as she was called and rushed into the interview area.

As she stood by the reporter, she did her best to try and relax as much as possible. "_Let's hope the top ten have already been interviewed and nobody's watching this right now,_" she thought to herself while she smiled at the commentator.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have María McGill in the interview area. She's a freshman at UT, recently awarded Best Freshmen of the year by the WGCA. She's also set the single-season NCAA scoring average record as a freshman at 72.33. This's her first invitation to the LPGA and she's finished in the top 30. Congratulations María, and how do you feel about that round today?" he reported quickly introduced her.

María smiled again. "Thank you. Good afternoon. It was a great day. First start hitting balls on the range, thinking something like the previous days would be a great round and we just try to plan our day and hopefully make enough pars. It was a really tough day but I just managed to control my shots. It was a great time out there with my caddie today and I really thank him," she explained.

"Are you used to playing in windy conditions like this?"

María's smile grew wider. She was starting to feel comfortable in front of the cameras. After all, they were talking about golf, and that was something she really liked. "No, not really. I am from Texas and I currently live in Austin, so we don't get anything similar to a link course there. It's really tough. You finish pretty tired. So the feeling is great when you give yourself a birdie opportunity."

"How pleased are you with your position?"

"Well, I couldn't ask for a better position. I'm really happy," María stated.

"You look very relaxed out there with your caddie; you looked like you were getting along very well," the reported added.

María nodded. "He's been great, he understands how to play in these windy conditions and this type of golf course. He's been a huge help."

"He's Connor Harris, the former pro golfer, isn't he?"

She nodded again. "He is. He's my coach at UT."

"Did you have any trouble with the long putts today?" the reporter kept asking questions and to María's surprise she was not nervous anymore.

"No, I didn't have trouble. I putted good, trying not to risk the score, just seeking to putt it close."

"Have you thought about turning pro before finishing college? I'm sure you're gonna get a few offers after your performance here this week…" the reporter added.

María knew exactly how to answer that. "Honestly, I haven't thought about that. I'm a freshman at UT. Just a week ago I was taking my finals and now I just played a LPGA tournament as a guest. All in good time."

"Well, thank you so much, María. Ladies and gentlemen, please bear this name in mind. María McGill. I'm sure we're gonna hear a lot about her in the near future."

"You're welcome," were María's last words. The camera focused on her smiling face while she shook hands with the reporter.

Little did María know by then that that interview had just been the first one of many, as she would be a regular in the interview area of the LPGA Tour only three and a half years after that first appearance, and that she would eventually end up working for NBC as a golf commentator.

By the time María arrived to their hotel in Atlantic City, every muscle in her body ached and she could sense a growing headache. She met Coach Harris in the hotel lobby. He was heading back to Austin in three hours, and he wanted to say goodbye and congratulate María again. She had gone above and beyond the whole week and he was really proud.

María thanked him for all his help. "I don't have to tell you that I would have never done it without your help, so thanks Harris, I really owe you," she had said. "My pleasure, McGill. I hadn't enjoyed golf so much for a long time. Take care and have a great summer. See you back in UT in late August," he replied leaning in for a quick hug and turning around to shake Sue's hand before speedy exiting the lobby to take a taxi to the airport.

Noticing how exhausted María was, Sue offered to go shopping for a while to let her rest. They were meeting Jason, Erin and Noah for dinner and she welcomed her offer.

As soon as her mother left their hotel room, María lay down on her bed, still fully clothed in her golf gear, and closed her eyes. "_Alone, at least_," she thought."_What a week_!" She reached out to the night table for her cell phone. That morning, when she had talked to Billy right before teeing off, he had told her to call him once she was at her hotel and everything was over. "I don't want you to rush to call me instead of enjoying the event, M. It's the LPGA! You have the chance to spend time with all the players. I won't be going anywhere, M. Just call me once you're back in Atlantic City. Promise?"

Thinking that she really felt an urge to finally hear his voice, she speed dialed Billy's number and he answered right away. No doubt he had been expecting her call. That itself meant more to her that her top 30.

"Hey, beautiful. Or should I say "the new LPGA American princess", like they said on NBC?" he greeted her as soon as he flipped open his phone.

"Hi, Billy, it's so good to hear your voice…" she tiredly chuckled, closing her eyes to save some energy.

"Are you okay, M?" Billy asked with a concerned tone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, Billy. I am, just feel exhausted…" she explained still with her eyes closed.

"Yeah, I can imagine… Congrats M, you were superb today. I mean, all days, but today was just the icing on the cake…" Billy congratulated her. He and Mac had been watching the last holes of her final round together and it was hard to tell which one of them was the proudest.

"Thanks. It's been hard, playing with all that wind..." María explained, stretching on the bed trying to soothe her sore muscles.

"But your golf has not been affected, M. You were able to play as if there were wind at all. They even remarked it on tv, they said that only the pros are able to achieve that…"

"Did they?" she inquired suddenly opening her eyes. She was well aware that the event had been broadcast live, but she never thought she would bring the commentators' attention.

This time it was Billy who chuckled. "Yeah, you gathered a lot of attention during the live broadcast…"

"Really?" María asked again, still finding it difficult to believe.

"Yeah…"

"And what more did they say?" That comment had somehow awoken her up from her current exhaustion, and she was curious to know the details.

"That your legs're hot…" Billy joked.

"Come on Billy, I'm trying to be serious here…" María complained.

"Sorry….That your golf's outstanding, that you'll have offers to turn pro in no time, that you seem to get along pretty well with your handsome caddie…" he proudly recited.

"Oh, come on, he's my coach, Billy…" she interrupted him laughing.

"I know that, but they didn't at first…"

"I would have never done it without his help, Billy. He knew the course so well, and it was amazing how he read the wind in every round…" she stated.

"I know, M. Forget it, it was just a silly remark on tv…" Billy tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, I'm not worried about that…" she said yawning.

"So why are you worried? You've finished in the top 30, you're America's new golf sensation, their words, not mine, but something is definitely bothering you…" he softly inquired.

"Billy… I'm not worried, just scared…" María clarified.

"Of what?"

She took a deep breath. "I don't know if this is what I wanna do after college…" she simply stated. That thought had been in the back of her mind the whole week, and she had voiced it out at last.

Billy sighed when he heard her. No doubt she was tired. "M, maybe this isn't the best moment to think about that. You don't have to decide anything now. You've three more years in college…"

"Yeah… You're right, I don't have to decide anything just yet. I guess I'm too tired to think clearly…." she mumbled, stretching again on the bed.

"You know I love you, right?" he softly whispered.

"I do, I love you too," she reciprocated.

"You'll be home in five days. And then we have the whole summer to be together, M. Everything is gonna be okay," Billy said in the same tone he used when she was twelve years old and had had a hard day at school, and she would bury her head into his chest looking for comfort.

"I know, I can't wait to see you…" she muttered yawning again. He laughed and she apologized. "Sorry, I really mean it, but I'm so tired… I need some rest before we meet Jason and his family for dinner, otherwise I'm gonna fall asleep on the table..."

"Wow, Jason and his family," Billy repeated. "That sounds… it's amazing he has a wife and a kid, you know? He was partying with Timmy not long ago…"

"Yeah, he's only one year older than me." María remembered then that Billy himself had mention kids a few days ago when he had informed her that he could not afford being his caddie for this first LPGA tournament, and she wondered whether it had just been a figure of speech, trying to convey how important it was to him to change the course of his life, or, on the contrary, he was already thinking about having children. _"If it's the latter, is he thinking about it in the near future, or somewhere down the road?"_ They had never discussed any future plans beyond the summer, yet she felt she was too tired to bring that up now, as that matter was important enough to address it with a clear mind.

"Tell him I say hello, will you? I'll let you rest now, M, call you to tomorrow morning before boarding your flight," Billy said.

"Will do, Billy. Okay, talk to you tomorrow," she managed to say before falling into a deep slumber.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Coach Harris had been totally right; there was no doubt he knew the golf pro world like the back of his hand. By the time María and her mother left their hotel to meet the Streets for dinner in Atlantic City on the day she had played her final round in the ShopRite LPGA Classic, she had already received two enthusiastic calls from LPGA sponsors. Much to María’s disquiet none of them bothered to beat around the bush and clearly informed her that they would like to offer her a contract to turn pro, given that they had been highly impressed with her golf in the tournament. Still half asleep when she got both calls, she managed to politely thank them and apologize, saying that she could not talk at that moment and promising to call them back.

María told Jason about those calls after Erin and Sue took Noah for a stroll when after dessert. He had been a really good baby throughout the whole meal, letting his parents savor it and chat, but it was starting to get late for him. So as soon as Erin noticed he was a little bit fussy she gently sat him in his stroller and said she would be back as soon as he fell asleep. Sensing that María and Jason would definitely enjoy a few minutes catching up alone (after all, they had not seeing each other for a long time as Jason was already gone to New Jersey when María came back to Dillon for her senior year in high school), and thinking that it was a good chance to get to know Jason’s fiancé better, Sue offered to go with Erin. “It’s been a while since we had a baby at home,” she said looking at María. “Would you mind if I join you?” she then asked turning her gaze to Erin. 

Once her mother was gone, María addressed the matter that had whirling in her mind since she had gotten those phone calls. 

“Hey, Jay, now that my mom isn’t here I’d like to tell you something…” she said lowering her voice. She was well aware that Sue could not hear her from outside the restaurant, but people who had come for the golf tournament were all around Atlantic City and you never knew who could be seated in the table next to you.

“That you had a crush on me in middle school? Don’t bother, McGill, I’ve always known…” he joked.

“You wish!” she exclaimed playfully smacking his arm.”You only had eyes for Lyla back then, so you wouldn’t have noticed…” María added.

“Yeah, that’s true…” Jason mumbled, realizing that María was right. If that were the case, he would have never noticed. Years ago he had learned not to dwell too much on the memories of Lyla and him together, as it usually ended in some sort of bitter melancholic state of mind which made no sense at all once he was leading a happy life like he currently was. So, determined to switch to another topic, he picked up the thread of her previous comment. “Sorry, bad joke. Now, you wanted to tell me something?”

María nodded. “Yes. When I got back to the hotel today I got calls from two different LPGA sponsors…”

“Did you? That’s huge, McGill. Congrats!” Jason warmly congratulated her.

“Thanks… I guess…” she smiled. She was clearly confused and surprised by those calls. The fact that her first experience in the golf pro world had nearly been a deal breaker had much to do with it. As she had shared with Billy on the phone a few hours earlier, she did not know if this was what she actually wanted to do after college. Totally taken aback by her current disappointment in the dream she had been working for most of her life, he had been wise enough to point out the lack of urgency regarding any decision yet, as she had three more years of college ahead of her. Nevertheless, once these offers were actually on the table she was due to decide one way or the other in the short term, and she was starting to feel she was not prepared for it.

“You ever think about turning pro before finishing college?” Jason asked intrigued. Many athletes see their first months in college as a mere springboard to turn pro as soon as they are given the chance, and her performance in her LPGA debut had been outstanding, but María had never mentioned the possibility of ditching college to try to become pro in their many years of correspondence.

She shook her head. “I’ve never thought about it, but, to be honest Jay, never thought there’d be a chance…” Even when Coach Harris had specifically mentioned that possibility right before the tournament, she had just forgotten about it the minute she had stepped out of his office. Considering it was really a long shot, she had too much on her plate right then to start worrying about something that was not likely to happen any time soon. But those calls had certainly piqued her curiosity, besides made her anxious.

“So you’d like to think about it, then?” Jason asked again, doing his best to fully understand what she meant by that.

“No… I mean, I don’t know,” María shrugged. “It’s probably too soon, and dropping out college had never crossed my mind before, and I don’t even know if this is what I wanna do after college, but…” she trailed off.

“You’d be doing it to turn golf pro, not to be lazing around…” Jason explained, sensing her current confusion.

“Yeah, I know, but I’ve always felt it important to get an education…” As soon as she said it, she realized how that would sound to him. “Sorry, Jay, I didn’t mean it that way…”

“It’s okay, McGill, I totally agree, not going to college is the only thing I regret about these last years.” After his accident, Jason had tried a lot of different things, from playing rugby for paraplegics to being assistant coach with the Panthers and selling cars for Buddy Garrity, but he had never pursued his prior dream of going to college. Not only because he had never envisioned it without football, but also because he also knew that his parents could hardly afford it once all his chances for a football scholarship were gone. So instead he had decided to focus on the things he could actually do. But he really regretted it now. “What’d your folks think?” he curiously inquired.

María’s face saddened at once. “I think they’d be really upset. That’s why I haven’t told my mother about the calls yet. Just the thought of me just considering it would drive her crazy and my dad’d probably have another stroke…”

“Come on, McGill, everybody says Mac’s as fit as a fiddle now…” Jason said, trying to cheer her up. In his opinion, those calls should be a source of joy, like an award in appreciation of a job well done, never a cause for concern, which seemed to be the case. But, of course, he was not the one who had to make the decision.

“He is, but frankly I don’t know how he’d take it... Anyway, maybe it’s worth just looking into it, you know, to be prepared for the future if I keep up this level…” she added, looking around the restaurant as if she could find an answer to her questions there before fixing her gaze on Jason again. “Sorry, I know this sounds crazy as I don’t seem to know what I really want anymore, and that’s a bit scary… Would you mind getting in touch with those sponsors for me, see what they have to offer?” she asked. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to them.”

A sense of relief came over her as she heard his kind words. “Thank you, Jay, consider me one of your clients, then. So please don’t hesitate to ask for a retainer or whatever you need,” she said extending her hand.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna charge Mac McGill’s daughter for a talk with two sponsors…” he shook hands with her. He had always known that María would go places in the golf world, but he had never imagined that he could actually play a role in it. He wondered what he would have thought back in his early teens if someone had told him that right after turning twenty years old he would be talking business with little María McGill as her sport agent. 

“But it’s your job, Jay…” María complained.

“Hey, the agency does have several golf pros as clients, but I’ve never dealt with them. That’s always Grant’s territory. So consider it my training in the LPGA. And I’ll certainly score points with him, so it’s a win-win situation for both of us…” Jason happily explained.

“Are you sure?” she asked back.

“Absolutely, I’ll keep you posted. Now, tell me about Billy and you. There was always something special between you two, you know…” Jason was really curious about them. It was difficult for him to picture the Billy Riggins he knew so well fully committed in a long distance relationship with Mac’s golden daughter, but he could not deny the fact that they had always shared a special bond despite their age difference, either.

María’s face immediately lit up and suddenly all her worries about college and the LPGA were far gone. “Yeah, right? He was like my big brother growing up, but I never thought I’d end up having feelings for him, or even more, that he’d like me like that too, you know…”

“Let me guess: you’re head over heels in love with him…” Jason said amused. The change in her mood had not gone unnoticed by him, and he wondered if Billy felt the same way. “_He has to, otherwise he wouldn’t be doing the long distance thing with Mac’s daughter. I guess it wasn’t easy telling her dad, either,” _he quickly concluded.

“I am…” María could not help blushing while she smiled.

“Look at you, little María McGill has grown up…” he whispered, thinking that they had both gone a long way since those afternoons they spent playing football and hide-and-seek when they were in elementary and middle school.

“Hey, I was never little…” she quickly clarified.

Jason chuckled again. “You’re damn right about that. You were one of us. By the time you went to Florida you’d played more football with us that Saracen and Cole together...” he stated.

“Speaking of Cole, you’ve heard of him lately?” María knew Jason and Bradley had grown close during high school. They had been friends since they had made the football team together their freshman year and had kept in touch since the former had moved to New Jersey. She had not seen or heard from Bradley since they had finished their finals almost two weeks ago and it suddenly occurred to her that Jason might know if he was doing okay.

Jason’s tone changed instantly. He was well aware of Bradley’s feelings for María and how they had been living together for the last months and that it had finally taken a toll on him, causing him to decide to move in with Tyra for the last weeks of the term. But determined not to say too much, he automatically tried to reassure María with the less possible words.

“He’s fine, McGill, just needed a change of pace,” he said looking at her intently.

María gulped. Definitely Bradley had brought Jason up to speed on their college life. She thought about asking him directly, but then abandoned the idea right away. If there was anyone that she should talk to that was Bradley himself, and not his friends. “I’m glad to know he’s okay,” was all that she managed to say.

“He’ll come back, you know, when he’s ready. He’s not mad at you or anything,” Jason added sensing that María was truly worried. 

“That’s… good… Thanks Jay,” María whispered trying to get rid of that feeling of guilt she felt whenever she thought about Bradley.

By the time their conversation had moved on to other topics, like how happy Jason was with Erin and their kid, Noah had fallen asleep and Erin and Sue came back from the stroll. When they were leaving the restaurant and saying their good-byes, Jason held María close when she hugged him.

“Hey, McGill, tell Timmy I miss him, will you?“ he mumbled with emotion in his voice.

“Will do, Jay. Take care, and thanks for everything. I don’t mean just know, but for being in touch during all these years no matter what,” she warmly replied.

The following day María and Sue flew back into Austin airport. They went straight to UT, where unexpectedly María was able to complete all the paperwork for the next semester during that morning. While she filled in the form regarding her accommodation in the campus dorms, she could not help but think who she would be sharing her room with. As nothing was keeping her in Austin for the following days she decided to go home with her mom that same afternoon, after packing. It was very quiet in campus, as most of the students had already gone home for the long-awaited summer break, and María and Sue’s voices were the only ones that could be heard in a usually loud wing of the dorms. 

“So Annie’s already back in Idaho, isn’t she? Tell her I said hello, I was hoping we’d see her before going home…” Sue asked while they were neatly folding María’s clothes in her room.

“She is, but she’ll be coming to Dallas next month. She’s dating John, and she’s gonna stay with his family for a week, and then it’ll be him the one to go to Boise for a week to stay with her family,” María replied as she came across the red swimsuit Bradley had helped her buy before going to Llano.

Once more, she wondered how he would be doing and if he were already in Dillon. This would be the first time that they would not ride home together, and a heavy wave of both nostalgia and guilt washed over her, as she had a feeling things would never be the same between them. She did not know that Bradley was still in Austin, and had been trying to make up his mind whether or not he should contact her to go home together since they had taken their finals. He had watched her on tv the whole tournament, and the day of her final round he had seriously considered sending a text congratulating her for her top 30, but in the end he had not done it, thinking that he should really find a quiet moment and call her. But a day had already gone by, and he had failed to do so, fearing that the wall he had painstakingly built between them would fall apart the moment he heard her voice. María had not missed the fact that there was no message or text from Bradley among all those she had received during the last twenty four hours. “_Even Timmy’s texted… was I really that bad to Bradley to deserve this silence treatment_?” she sadly wondered. 

“Oh, that’s nice.” Her mother’s words brought her back to reality, and María carefully folded her swimsuit and placed it on top of her suitcase. “You could see her if we go to the ranch at the same time. When’s she coming?” Sue inquired, thinking that the two friends would most certainly enjoy seeing each other during summer break.

Much to her dismay, María realized she had no clue when Annie was coming to Dallas. She remembered hearing John and Annie discussing their plans in the cafeteria over and over again, but she had been so worried about classes and golf that she had not played any real attention to what they were saying. Truth to be told, their public display of affection made her miss Billy even more than usual, and she had soon learnt to disconnect every time they shared a meal.

“I… I don’t know, mom… We haven’t spent much time together lately…” she responded, hoping that Sue would just let it go.

But as María would no doubt have predicted if she were not exhausted after the week of her debut in the LPGA and a four hour flight, Sue was not going to drop it. “Come on, María, how can you not know? You live in the same room…”

One thing was not telling her parents about her male roommate, “_because opportunity hadn’t presented itself_,” as she kept saying to herself throughout the school year, and a very different one lying to her mother’s face. Finally time had come to come clean about it, and it did not matter that María and Bradley were not roommates anymore. 

“Er… actually, we don’t, mom, we haven’t for a long time.” Seeing her mother’s surprised face, María sat down on her bed and patted the soft comforter beside her. “Would you sit down for a minute? I’ve something to tell you…”

“Is everything all right, sweetie? Are you okay?” Sue worriedly asked while she sat down. 

“Yes, mom, please don’t worry. I just want you to know something I haven’t told you, or dad…” In that very moment María realized that telling them back in September would have been much easier than now, as they would definitely think now she had been hiding it on purpose. 

“María, you’re scaring me…” her mother whispered, thinking about the worst case scenario she could be facing.

“Don’t mom! It’s just that I don’t want you to find out somewhere else and jump into conclusions…” Her mother was starting to freak out and that was far from María’s intention. 

“Conclusions… What… what conclusions, María?” Sue asked again. By that time she was starting the think that her daughter was going to tell her that she was pregnant. And she was quickly doing the math in her head (“_How long has it been since they met in Llano? No, that doesn’t add up. It’s been more than three months…”)_ while she did her best to try and look calm and supportive. If her crazy suspicions were confirmed, María would be no doubt terrified and the last thing she needed was a panicked mother.

“Mom, calm down, I’m not pregnant and there’s no possible way I could be… The thing is, Annie and I have only been roomies for a few weeks. As soon as she started seeing John she switched places with John’s roommie, Bradley, who became my roommate…” María quickly said in an effort to stop her mother from speculating. She could guess what Sue was dreading by then and a sex talk from her mother was the last thing she needed now.

“Bradley? Bradley Cole?” Sue exclaimed, surprised, while she processed what María had just said. Apparently she was not pregnant, and she silently thanked God for that, but on another level, she did not like what she was telling her about Bradley. 

María nodded, and her mother was starting to deal with the fact that María had been sharing her room with a boy in college for months and her parents had been completely oblivious to it. 

“He’s a boy, María…” she cautiously stated.

“Thanks for your input, mom. I’m well aware he’s a boy… I’m sorry I haven’t told you before, it was supposed to be just temporary…” María responded with her head down, clearly ashamed for having hidden it from her parents.

“And you were okay with this, honey? How long’s it been going on?” her mother softly inquired, tilting her head to lock eyes with María. 

“Since September till late February, when he moved out of the dorms. And of course I was okay with it, mom…” And as she was talking to her mother, María suddenly realized that living with Bradley had been one of the best things about her freshman year in college and she had not been able to keep him by her side. She was too tired and too emotional to be aware that Bradley himself had played his own role in that by coming clean about the feelings he harbored for her. The very idea of thinking that they could keep their close friendship unaltered after his confession had been, at the very least, naïve. No matter how hard they had tried not to let it affect it, that conversation had changed their friendship for good.

“María, how can you be okay with that? That’s not the way we raised you, young lady…“ Sue was upset but tried not to sound too preachy. Maria had brought nothing but joy and pride to their lives and her mother did not want to be too hard on her, despite finding her behavior in this particular case disconcerting to say the least.

“Mom, please, don’t be mad. We’re just friends. I didn’t mean to hide it from you. It wasn’t a secret, Billy and all our friends knew. It just never came up but I wanted you to know…” María trailed off. Her greatest concern had always been disappointing her parents and not living up to their expectations, and she had a feeling this time she had disappointed them, by turning her dorm room into a coed one and also by keeping it under wraps.

The mention of Billy immediately dragged Sue’s attention. “And what does Billy think about it?”

María shrugged. “He’s never shown any concern, mom… He trusts me…”

“That he does, sweetie, that he does, but it doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with that… Have you tried to put yourself in his shoes?” Sue asked.

“What do you mean?” María asked back, confused. Billy had never been anything but supportive of all her decisions, and he did not strike her as the jealous type of boyfriend, although they had barely spent ten days together since Thanksgiving and maybe he had not had the time to show that side of him yet. Either way, he had never expressed anything against Bradley living with her. 

Sensing her confusion, Sue gave her an example. “What’d you feel if, let’s say, Mindy has to move in with Billy because, I don’t know, her house is flooded. How’d you feel about it?”

María chuckled, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Come on, mom, that’s different, they were engaged a year ago and I think she might still in love with him…” Billy had not shared too many details about his breakup with Mindy with María, as it was obviously a painful matter for him, but she did know that it had been Billy the one to abruptly put an end to their engagement. Under those circumstances, it was not a wild guess to presume Mindy still had feelings for him. 

“María, everyone can see Bradley likes you, I don’t see why it’s any different. How’d you feel?” her mother insisted.

“_Are Bradley’s feelings so evident that everybody’s noticed them_?” Deliberately avoiding Sue’s remark about her former roommie, María stopped to think about that possibility, and she felt a pang of jealousy. “Bad, really bad,” she muttered, looking down at her joined hands.

“And you trust him, don’t you?” Sue whispered softly placing her right hand under her daughter’s chin and raising it to hold her gaze.

“I do…” María nodded, locking eyes with her mother.

“And if that were the case, maybe you wouldn’t say a word, because he’d be just helping a friend. Does that ring any bells?”

“Oh, mom… You really think he might’ve been upset?” That thought had never crossed her mind, but if her mother’s face was any indication it was worth asking Billy. ”I’ll clear the air with him, just in case. Are you mad, mom? I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you,” María worriedly asked.

“No, María, I’m not mad. But still I don’t think it’s appropriate, not at all.” Her daughter had always been nothing but responsible and hard working, and Sue was well aware that disappointing them was the last thing she wanted. But this issue about sharing her room with Bradley had certainly puzzled her.

“Sorry, mom, we didn’t mean to upset anybody. And I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you…” she apologized again.

“Hey, it’s okay, María. You’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. Don’t beat yourself up about it. And maybe Billy is a modern thinking kind of guy who doesn’t mind if his brand new girlfriend shares a very small dorm room with a male friend who likes her…” Sue said trying to lighten the mood.

María chuckled and shook her head. “I don’t think so. He’s more like a caveman. His words, not mine…”

“Come on, let’s go home, María. And don’t overthink it,” her mother said patting her leg and getting up from her bed to finish packing.

As soon as they arrived in Dillon after a five hour drive, during which María tried to get some much needed sleep in a futile attempt to forget about her current worries, which never seemed to end, she resolved to give herself a break and enjoy her summer in Dillon as much as possible. Late August would come soon enough, and then she would be back to her hectic college routine, so she wanted to make the most of the time she had to be at home at last. In every respect.

She had not contacted Billy to let him know that she would be home earlier than expected in order to surprise him. Yet once she was in Dillon she was beginning to regret that decision. Eager to actually share her time with him, she now feared that her idea might have prevented Billy from making plans to spend as much time as possible together. Sure it had seemed very romantic at the time, but while she was driving her parents’ car to the Riggings house she started having second thoughts about it. “_Maybe he already has plans for the evening and this’s far from being a nice surprise…,” _she thought while she knocked on his door, preferring not to speculate on what plans those might be.

But as anyone who would have known him for years could easily attest to it, Billy had certainly changed during the last months. It was there for all to see. No more parties, no more beer nor whiskey, no more women… And he was truly committed to his business, which was a huge transformation for someone who could not hold a job for more than a couple of months. It still surprised him sometimes that he was truly happy with that new kind of life he was building for himself and for María. After a long day of hard work all he was just planning on doing was watching sports on tv, counting down the hours until her return. So as he opened the door wondering who could it be and found her on his doorstep, his face turned into a big smile and all her fears faced away at once.

“M! Hey!” he exclaimed opening his arms and engulfing her in a tight hug.

“Billy…” she whispered as she leant in and rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes and wrapping up her arms around his waist. She had been looking forward to this moment for more than three months, and she could not believe it was actually happening. 

“Best surprise ever…” he mumbled beside her ear, still holding her.

María could feel his mouth tickling her temple as he spoke. “I finished all the paperwork this morning, I can’t believe I’m finally home,” she muttered, her voice muffled against the soft fabric of Billy’s t-shirt. The thought of being home, and specifically, in Billy’s arms for the whole summer had been the one thing that kept her going and giving her best in UT during those last hectic months.

“Believe it, M…” he whispered again. “For more than two months, how’s that sound?” he added slightly cradling her in his arms, while he kept his lips near her ear.

“So good,” she muttered against his chest. “This is finally happening Billy, I’m home for summer break…”

“That you are, M,” he said tilting his head to look at her. She opened her eyes and smiled.

“Hi…” was all that she was able to say before he softly placed his lips on hers and kissed her. Their kiss was sweet and tender at first but soon enough grew into a hungry one, and noticing they were in full view of his neighbors, Billy held her even closer and stepped backwards with her in her arms to close the front door. Leaning against it, as soon as they were away from prying eyes he started slowly unbuttoning her shirt while keeping his mouth on hers. As he left her lips towards her jaw and her neck, she found herself tugging at his t-shirt and placing her hands under it, pushing it up to slide over his head.

“Please, Billy, don’t stop…” she whispered while he resumed kissing her neck and began to lead her towards the couch.

“I won’t, if that’s what you want…” he muttered between kisses, finally raising his head to meet her gaze.

“That’s what I want, what I really want, Billy,” she said looking at him intently.

“Are you sure? There's no going back after that, M…” Billy trailed off, asking for confirmation, gently cupping her left jaw in his right hand and smoothing his thumb along her cheek. María rested her hand on his wrist, as if to keep his gentle gesture in place.

“I don't wanna go back. Come on…” she replied, finally taking his hand in hers and leading him to his bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

In the years thereafter María would always remember the summer of her freshman year in college as one of the best ones in her whole life. As someone that loved practicing outdoor sports, it had always been her favorite season of the year, yet she had to admit there was definitely something different about this particular summer. She was positive that it had much to do with the fact that it had been long-awaited during her challenging first college year, but she also liked to think that she was discovering the perks of being an adult and that was certainly making a difference.

With no further obligation than keeping her outstanding golf by hitting the range or the course on a daily basis, she finally had the chance to spend some quality time with her parents, her friends and, of course, Billy. And also for the first time in her life, she felt a huge sense of freedom as her father and mother seemed to be no longer worried about her. Well, at least not as worried as they used to be. Their concerns about her college choices or the friends she went out with seemed to have been put behind them. That resulted in small but important details, like not having a curfew anymore, and, above all, not being constantly asked about who she was hanging out with, as they already knew she would be with Billy most of the time, that made her feel like a real adult, very much as the day she had driven Bradley’s SUV to Llano to meet Billy a few months back. 

True to her resolution of enjoying the summer as much as she could, he split her time between her parents, Billy and her friends, mostly Julie, Tami and Tim, whom she had barely seen during the school year, and by the end of the first week it felt like if she had never left Dillon for college.

The day she arrived home from Austin she was delighted to notice that Mac was in very good form. Back in college she had been worried that all that stress with the new head coach of the Dillon Panthers, Wade Aikmen, would take a toll on her dad’s health, but she was relieved to see that it had not, as her mother and Billy had assured her. He looked well, really well, and María finally felt that she could put aside that concern. 

And while she drove to Billy’s after chatting with her father about her experience in the world of pro golf, she briefly thought about the LPGA sponsors offers. She had not told her parents yet because, as she had shared with Jason the day before, she did not know how they would take it and, more importantly, she did not know what she wanted anymore. But during the drive from Austin, what she considered to be a crazy idea had rushed her mind.  _ “If there’s a chance to play pro right now, would that make it easier to spend more time with Billy than college?” _ And much to her surprise, she realized that she would seriously consider it if there was an actual possibility that it would allow her spend more time at home. 

But as soon as she had seen Billy she had forgotten about everything but him. Later María had fallen into a state of slumber and completely lost track of time when she thought she had heard the Riggins front door closing, not only once but twice. She had no idea if it was late or not, but luckily for her she had not a curfew anymore. “María, you’ve just finished your first year in college and you live on your own most of the time. I think you don’t need a curfew anymore. We trust you. Just text please if you’re coming home late,” Sue had explained to her when María had asked her mother what time she should be home, right before heading for Billy’s. That had been the first clue of many she would notice in the following days about her parents being less worried about her. 

María and Billy were lazily dozing, lying on his bed, wrapped in tangled sheets, her head on his chest, when the sudden noise from the front door startled her. She looked up and locked eyes with Billy, now fully awake. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay, it’s Timmy…” he whispered giving her a light pick on her lips.

“What? He’s home?” María frantically asked as she turned around to try and cover them with the messy bed linen, while she reached out for the clothes they had discarded on the floor a while earlier. They had barely exchanged a few words before heading for his bedroom, and María had not had the time to ask about Tim. 

“Hey M, relax, it’s just Timmy,” Billy amusedly said while keeping his grip on her waist, kissing her bare shoulder.

“Yeah, but he may walk in on us and I’d like to have some clothes on if he does, you know… It’d be embarrassing enough to find us like this…” she explained desperately looking around for her underwear. 

“Like what?” Billy asked trying to get her attention again. He found María adorable like that, her cheeks flushed, her fair hair down, and naked, and he widely smiled at the view in front of him. 

María stopped looking around the bedroom to meet his gaze. Her heart skipped a beat at the way Billy was smiling at her, but Tim was in the next room and she was starting to feel like a little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She thought that it was obvious. “On your bed? Right after…?”

“Come on M, it’s Timmy… And he doesn’t know that…” María raised her eyebrows and Billy sidetracked. “Well, yeah, he’ll guess… Anyway, he’d knock first. We’ve sort of got this golden rule after he walked in on me and…” Billy started to explain chuckling.

“Billy, I don’t really want to know…” she quickly said before letting him pronounce any female name, shaking her head. María knew most of his former girlfriends and he had told her anecdotes regarding his time with all of them, except Mindy, and she had never felt jealous when Billy talked about them, but now the timing just seemed unfortunate. It just reminded her of how experienced he was in this particular department, and she quickly tried to get rid of that feeling that they were no peers as soon as she noticed it beginning to form in the back of her mind.

“Hey, I’m sorry, that was wrong M,” he apologized. “Are you alright?” he inquired placing his arm around her shoulders and bringing her closer. He had never intended to lead María directly to his bedroom the minute she knocked on his door right after more than three months being apart. He had been willing to actually talk to her and listen to the way she had felt those last months in college and in her first LPGA tournament. 

Besides, when he had told her that he could not be her caddie in New Jersey he had really felt that he was letting her down and no matter how much time had gone by and how she had excelled in the tournament, he had not been able to shake that sensation. So he had decided that one of the first things that he wanted to do as soon as she got home was apologizing again, this time face to face, not over the telephone line. Back then, María had explained that she fully understood his reasons to stay working in Dillon while she made her debut in the LPGA, but still he felt the urge to let her know that she was the driving force behind his wish to become a better man. But instead of apologizing as he had planned, they had ended up in his bed.

“I am…” María answered his question smiling and locking eyes with him, completely oblivious to his current thoughts, and her reemerging idea that they were no equals completely forgotten now. But the truth was that she had never intended that to happen right away, either, and the way both their bodies had just picked up from where they had left it in Llano a few months back, as soon as they had seen each other again, had certainly taken her by surprise. She was glad they had long talked about it and therefore had been prepared. 

“No regrets?” He cautiously asked, as if he were actually afraid of her response. Billy had fantasized many times about their first time together, which as something he had never done with any of his prior girlfriends, and even had been secretly intending to plan on something romantic for the occasion. But Maria’s sudden appearance on his doorstep had also taken him by surprise and totally off-guard. 

“None, you?” she asked back cupping his jaw and nuzzling his nose, momentarily forgetting about the front door and Tim. 

“No. But for the record I was planning on doing something romantic instead of running to my bedroom the minute you showed up after nearly three months…” he admitted keeping her close. “And I have so much to tell you…” he added.

María tilted her head to look at him. “It was romantic, Billy, and it was perfect, too. Thank you… And I wasn’t planning on this today either. There’s so much I also have to tell you about that I thought we’d just have a quiet night, chatting, pizza… This’s been a nice surprise though…” she trailed off, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. 

Billy self-esteem was clearly improving. A few months back he would have just winced at the mere thought that she wanted to talk to him, fearing that she would have just found out that he was not good enough for her and therefore break up with him. But their time together in Llano along with his conversation with Tami, during which she had made clear that if María was with him it was because she thought he was good enough for her, had undoubtedly made the trick. Their constant phone calls during the last months, in which María had not been shy at all letting him know how she felt about him, had also helped. 

“Hey, we still can have that, it’s not too late. I’ll order pizza and we’ll talk,” Billy whispered in her ear. 

“With Timmy in the living room?” María asked tilting her head again to look at him.

“He’s gone, M. You didn’t hear the front door twice? I guess he saw your parents’ car parked outside and not seeing anyone in the living room he figured out what was going on…” Billy said caressing her cheek.

“Okay. Maybe we can cook something together…” she tried thinking that was something they had never done since they were romantically involved. María could clearly recall the way Billy used to assist her father with the grill during those barbeques Mac liked to host for the Panthers years ago, but she knew for a fact that those were all his cooking skills. Back in the days even Tim usually teased him about his diet, when most of their meals consisted of pasta, pizza, cheese or peanut butter sandwiches and beer.

Billy immediately liked her suggestion. “That’d be nice. You’d really like that?”

She nodded. “Sure. What do you have? Pasta?” María asked assuming his eating habits were still the same.

He feigned offended. “Hey, you’d be surprised to know I go grocery shopping almost every day. Don’t tell anyone, I even have a recipe book…” he joked lowering his voice, to which María responded giggling. “And I’d love if you could show me how to cook lasagna during the summer...” Billy added switching his tone to a serious one. He wanted her to know that he was not joking about it. 

Noticing how important it was to him that she noticed how hard he was trying to do things better, she framed his face and kissed him, in an attempt to let him how much she loved him for that. “That’s great, Billy. I’d really like that...” she managed to say between kisses.

They did not cook much that first evening, as they found it actually hard to be apart from each other. But in the end they finally dragged themselves out of bed and made a pasta salad. He was just wearing his jeans, and Maria, only clad in his white t-shirt, found it difficult to focus on the task at hand.

Once the salad was ready, they began to set the table while they talk. 

“Come on, I want to hear everything about the LPGA…” Billy urged her as he looked for his mother’s tablecloths. They had not been used a single time since their mom had left for good years ago, but he was sure they had to be somewhere around the kitchen and kept opening and closing all the cabinets until he found them. A heavy sense of both nostalgia and bitterness washed over him as he took one of them out, and all kind of memories of the whole family sitting at the table to eat together vividly came to his mind. He was really grateful that now he had the chance to create new memories with María. 

“I think you know all about it, probably more than me as you watched it on tv…” María said, helping him with the tablecloth, noticing that it was his mother’s and hoping that that circumstance would not change his mood, as it usually happened whenever Mr. and Mrs. Walt Riggins came to his mind. 

“Yeah, you looked fantastic on screen…” he winked. And María almost jumped with joy, not only for his compliment, but mainly for the fact that for once his mom’s silent presence in his memory was not making him sad. 

“Come on, Billy…” she laughed. She was madly in love with him, and seeing him so well, so focused, was making her the happiest she had been since she could remembered. She then realized all her fears about he being alone in Dillon were clearly unfounded, and that realization made her think about Bradley once more. Not for the first time, he had been right about Billy that night that she had shared her concerns given that football season was over and Billy might feel lonely and thus possibly fall into old habits. 

Like other times thoughts about Bradley had crossed her mind lately, she just pushed them away. She was still a little bit hurt by the way he had suddenly exited her life in February and although they had reconnected in a way during their finals, she could not shake the feeling that she had been the one to hurt him somehow in the first place. She was well aware she would have to face him in the near future, as both of them would be in Dillon for the whole summer and it was absurd to be avoiding each other while being home to go back to study together in college in late August. It just made no sense at all, but she had no idea how to address him. The fact that he was one of the very few people she knew that had not congratulated her for her LPGA top 30 had only added more confusion to the already messed-up situation. 

“Hey! It’s true, you’re a looker…” Billy insisted while he helped with her chair and they sat down to eat. 

Billy’s kind gesture automatically triggered another memory of Bradley, this one from that time they had gone to a fancy Italian restaurant in downtown Austin, after going swimsuit shopping. María remembered that Bradley had done exactly the same, and she had wondered then if Billy would do it, too. Back then she had realized that it both amazed and scared her how well she knew Billy as a friend, and how much she still had to know him as her boyfriend, and how unlikely that was to change in the short term given their living situation. “ _ Well, I guess now we’ll have all summer to get to know these little things about each other… _ ” she thought, once more pushing her memory of Bradley to the back of her mind. 

Right before they started eating, he took her hand and fixed his gaze on her. “I wanna apologize, M…” he said caressing the inner part of her wrist. 

That change of pace definitely took María by surprise. “What for?” she asked him, squeezing his hand. 

“For not being there with you, I’m really sorry, M,” Billy solemnly stated. 

María automatically raised her other hand to stop him apologizing. “Billy, it’s okay, please don’t worry about that, I totally understand…” she said squeezing his hand again.

Billy shook his head. “No, it’s not, M. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you. There’s nothing I would’ve wanted more than share that with you, and I can’t help but think that I let you down. But all this, the shop, the job at the range, the football assistant coaching position, I’m doing it for you, you know…” he explained keeping his intense gaze on her, and wishing he was able to convey how he really felt about her. 

“Hey, I know, and I thank you for that. Please don’t worry about not being there…” María said moving her chair closer and affectionately holding his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. 

“There’s nothing I’d wanted more than being with you in a LPGA tournament. But I really want to do things right, M, and I can’t let down all those people that now trust me, you know…” he whispered in her ear. 

“I know, I really do, Billy. Please don’t think about that, I understand…” she muttered nodding against his bare skin, doing her best not to be carried away by the scent of his aftershave. As she raised her head to look at him again, he went on talking. 

“I really want to be a better man for you, M. And for the life and the family we can have together…” he trailed off, hoping it was the right time to bring that up. He had so much to tell her that he was worried he would scare her. After all, she was nineteen and had just finished her freshman year in college, plus they had only seen each other for eleven, twelve days tops since they were together and he was speaking about children already.

Without knowing it, his words opened the way for a question that had been lingering in her mind since he had pronounced the word “kids” for the first time a few weeks back. 

“Do you ever think about that, kids I mean? You mentioned them when we talked about this on the phone, but I didn’t know if it was just a figure of speech…” she inquired straightening up and facing him directly, her hand still on his forearm. 

Billy took her hand in his without diverting his gaze from her green eyes and nodded. “I do, I think about that. The truth is… I never really did before, but I do with you. Do you?” he asked back smiling widely at her. Suddenly none of them seemed to be hungry anymore and they had completely forgotten that they had just sat down to eat.

María shook her head, truly moved by his words. She really wished she did, but to be honest the further she had thought about it lately was to merely ask her mom for a birth control pill prescription. She then remembered how she had felt the year before when she had seen him interacting with the youngest Taylor. So she told him the truth. “No, not really, not on a regular basis, but when I saw you with Gracie Belle Taylor last year I realized I didn’t want children if I couldn’t have them with you…” she whispered, hoping that he would not be too disappointed. 

“Did you really?” he asked taking her hand in his again. Apparently her answer had not disappointed him. “ _ Maybe he does understand we’re not on the same page on this… yet…” _ she hopefully thought. 

She nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she was remembering that particular moment. “Yeah, you were so good to Gracie that I thought that whoever had children with you would be a very lucky woman…” She said looking down to their joint hands for a second and then raising her head to fix her eyes on him again. “You were engaged then…” she trailed off trying to control her emotions.

Billy sighed. Back then he had no idea the way María felt about him. After they had finally gotten together, she had shared with him that she had been in love with him for a long time, but at that time he had no idea how deep those feelings had been. As time went by he had started to get a better idea about it, but now, due to this episode with Gracie she had never referred to before, it was clear it had not been the common teenager crush on an older friend. “M, I’m sorry you had to go through all that…” he mumbled caressing her forearm.

“No, it’s okay, Billy. There’s nothing to be sorry for… We are together now…” she said leaning in for a quick kiss, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder again. 

“Yeah, and I know this may sound crazy to you. I know you’ve still three more years in college and a promising LPGA career ahead of you, but I’m working hard so in some years we can have our own family, M… I even think about our kid’s names…” he cautiously explained, hoping once more that subject would not scare her.

“Oh, do you? And I don’t get to have a saying on that?” María asked, surprised and moved by his words. 

Relieved by her reaction, Billy smiled widely. “Nope… We’re gonna have a boy and a girl, William and Mary Riggins… If you wanna go for the third, I’d be happy to let you pick the name though…” Billy knew it sounded crazy, but sometimes when he was alone at home, late at night, after a long day at work, he would envision María and himself surrounded by their children, leading a happy life in Dillon. 

“Billy, that sounds so good… I’d really like that…” She could see that he had certainly given that idea a long thought, and right that moment she was amazed to find out that she wanted it, too. 

María was still trying to take this new revelation in when they heard a key on the front door lock and Tim let himself in after opening it. 

“Hey,” Tim mumbled turning around and closing the door with his foot, looking apologetically to his brother. He was well aware he was interrupting, but he had arrived home from San Antonio State that same day and he was tired. He had gone out for a drive in the afternoon and when he had seen Mac’s car in their driveway and no sign of Billy or María in the living room he had gone to Applebee’s to give them some privacy. He had been lucky enough that Julie Taylor had been waitressing and they had spend more that two hours catching up about mutual friends. He had driven Julie home once her shift had been over, and with nothing else to do besides buying a six pack and heading for the cliffs, which he was not really inclined to do given how exhausted he felt, he drove back and forth to Midland, enjoying the country music on the radio and the familiar night landscape. When he had passed by his house and noticed the light on in the living room, he had gratefully stopped his truck and hopped out. María’s parents’ car was still on the driveway, but it was likely he would not be walking in on them now. Just in case, he slowly unlocked the front door, given them time to regroup if they had to. 

“Hey, man,” Billy said, while María stood from her chair.

“Hey, Timmy, how are you?” she greeted him. 

“Good, you?” he said briefly hugging her. “Sorry, I didn’t know you’d come back from Austin…” Tim apologized.

“Yeah, that was unexpected… Don’t apologise, this’s your house, I didn’t know you were home either…” María said thinking that she might be intruding in their home life. 

“Arrived today…” Tim mumbled. 

“Would you like to join us?” María hopefully asked. 

Tim smiled and shook his head. “No, thanks. I’d dinner at Applebee’s. I’m worn out, I think I’m gonna hit the hay… You up for a run tomorrow?” he asked back.

“ I am. Usual time, usual place?”

“Okay, good night guys. Great seeing you, Mars,” he said heading placing his keys and sunglasses on the kitchen counter and slowly heading for his room.

“Night Timmy. Great seeing you too,” María said sitting in her chair again, while Tim disappeared into his bedroom. 

Maria and Billy kept chatting while they finally ate her pasta salad, but they did not pick up their prior conversation. None of them felt the need to. Billy was happy he had had the chance to apologize to María and let her how how he felt about them, and María had just realised that living with Billy and having a family with him had somehow become a priority for her at a time she felt she did not know what she wanted anymore. She was amazed since that idea had not crossed her mind before, and she felt grateful she had just arrived home for the summer. “ _ I’ve got almost three months to figure out what I want and when I want it. No need to rush anything, _ ” she said deciding that all that could wait, even those LPGA sponsors if Jason contacted them and they were still interested in her. She still had not told Billy about them, and she did not feel the urge to do it now. She had thought she playing pro could help them to see each other more often, but now she felt she did not want to give Billy false hopes about it. “ _ What if I finally end up deciding I don’t wanna drop out of college and I wanna stick to the original plan: collegiate golf until graduation? _ ” She thought they had all summer to talk about all that; she just wanted to enjoy spending time with him after that long separation. 

They following day María and Timmy met for a run and breakfast afterwards. Tim asked her multiple questions about UT and the LPGA tournament and María happily told him anything he wanted to know, but she had to drag the words out of him to find out how college life in San Antonio State was. He was certainly much more comfortable asking questions that answering them. Not for the first time, María thought he would make a great journalist. 

“I think I’m not going back in August, Mars…” he shyly mumbled after telling her he was still not playing much and he had a feeling that the coaching staff were not counting on him for the next season. 

“Come on Timmy, you love football, and you’re a great player…” she encouraged him.

“I may’ve been a good player here in Dillon, at least people said that… but I’m just one more player in college, Mars… Those guys, they’re so much more better that me… And I’m not interesting in a college degree, not gonna be able to do it anyway….” he trailed off. 

“Hey, Timmy, stop that, will you? Why is that Billy and you always think that way about yourself?” María bluntly exclaimed. 

Tim frowned. “What way?”

“That way, that you don’t measure up to anything you do, that you can’t do things right… That’s not true, Timmy! Believe it or not, you’re smart, you’re very good at reading people, and you’re one of the most generous and loyal people I know. There’s a lot of things you can do right…” María explained wishing Tim would just listen to her. 

“Oh, yeah, really? Like what?” Tim asked defensively, putting aside his now empty plate and crossing his arms on his chest.

“For example, I think you’d be a great coach in High School. You’re great playing any sport: football, tennis, golf, and you’d be an amazing good influence in the life of those kids. You’d nail anything related to that. And what about sport journalism? You’ve ever thought about that? And you’re very good working with your hands, too Timmy: cars, construction, … I don’t know, but dropping out of college would certainly narrow your options…” María elaborated. 

He looked down and then raised his gaze again, fixing it on María. “I know Mars…. and Billy’d be mad at me…”

“So, why don’t you try a little bit harder, Timmy? I’m sure sophomore year will be easier if you choose classes for a degree in something you like, P. E. maybe? That’d help. Think about it, will you?”

“Will do, thanks Mars…” he said, raising his hand to ask for some more coffee. The waitress immediately came to their table and María could not help but roll her eyes at the way most girls and women acted around him.

“What for?” she asked after thanking her.

“You’re one of the very few people that see something good in me…” Tim drawled before taking his cup of coffee with his right hand. 

“Don’t think that’s true Timmy…” María sadly said. “You should not think like that about yourself, “ she added.

Tim nodded. “It is, so thank you. Billy’s a lucky bastard…” 

María shrugged and smiled. “Maybe, but I’m lucky too. What about you? That girl in San Antonio State?” Tim had not mentioned her yet, and María was afraid to ask. Had there been something between Tim and that girl, María was sure he would feel completely different about college, as she seemed to attract him like no one had since Lyla. María found it really unfortunate for him to have set his eyes on one of the very few girls that would not like him. “ _ What were the odds? _ ”

Tim chuckled for the first time since they had started talking about college. “Still trying to impress her… but I’ve been sleeping with her roomie so I don’t really know…” he muttered. 

“Tim!” María exclaimed. Apparently some things do not change. “And how’s it going with this other girl?”

“Well, just casual sex…” Tim shrugged. 

“Okay, I see… Any word from Lyla?” María asked, softly placing her hand on his forearm. She had been reluctant to bring up Lyla, but given their current conversation topic she felt he might need to talk about her. 

Tim shook his head. “No, last I heard from her she was dating one of her classmates,” he said looking around the restaurant. “A dude from Boston I think. Buddy must be thrilled…” he added, looking to María again and trying a smile. 

“Hey, don’t say that… I’m sorry the long distance thing didn’t work for you two…” María tried to comfort him, not knowing what else to say. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry too, hope it works for Billy and you though…”

“I hope so, too, Timmy, I really do,” María sighed. She had no reason to believe it would not work for them, but it was a fact very few couples made it work in the end, no matter how much they loved each other. Time and distance could easily wear a relationship out, and she was able to see and therefore fear that.

Little did María and Tim know back then how much impact this conversation would have in their future lives. 

When she arrived home after having breakfast with Tim, María flipped open her laptop to check her email and was pleased to find a new message from Jason Street.

Date: June 10th 2009 9:47 am

From: Jason Street

To: María McGill

Subject: Good news!

Hey McGill!

Great seeing you in Atlantic City. 

You already in Dillon? Give me call whenever you can. I spoke to the LPGA sponsors today, and they’ve really good offers. 

Jason

  
As she read it, María took a deep breath. “ _ Maybe there’s a chance Billy and I don’t have to do the long distance thing, but do I really wanna drop out of college and play pro?” _ she asked herself while she dialed Jason’s number. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

His email had really taken María by surprise. She had not expected to hear back from Jason so soon, and even less with what he called 'good offers'. She sighed while she waited for him to answer his cell. If she was bound to make a decision in the near future, the sooner she could gather all the information, the better.

Jason was ecstatic, and his enthusiasm was clearly shown in his voice. "_Maybe I should be excited, too, instead of worried and feeling lost,_" María thought. As he had written in his email, the offers had turned out to be good, very good in fact (after all, she was just a collegiate golf freshman), and that only enhanced her increasing confusion. Sensing her current state of mind, Jason tried to make it easier for her. "Hey, McGill, I know you didn't know this was coming and you're kinda lost. Honestly… I'd be, too. But there's no rush, the season won't end until November, and frankly, these sponsors don't expect an answer before October.".

"Well, that certainly makes it easier then…" María mumbled on the phone. "It may sound wrong, but I feel relieved…" As she had confessed Billy on the phone the day she had played her last round in New Jersey, only two days ago, after her first experience in the LPGA she was not sure if that was what she really wished to do after college. And not finishing college had never crossed her mind. Billy had calm her down by telling her that she did not have to decide anything yet, given that she had three more years in college. But these offers on the table could certainly be a game changer, and she felt she was not ready for making such a big call just yet.

Jason chuckled. "That's not wrong, it makes sense. Just think about it, as I said, no rush…"

"Thanks Jason, thank you so much. Please don't forget what I said about your retainer." She was really grateful to him for what he was doing and the last thing she intended was to take advantage of his job and cause him any problems at work.

"Told you already McGill, not gonna charge Mac's daughter for a few phone calls. And you'd be happy to know that these sponsors said they're gonna refer me to some golfers looking for a new agent. If they do, I'm sure my boss is gonna be quite impressed, so I owe you lunch next time you come here or I visit Dillon…" Neither of them could imagine it back then, but in the years to come having María as a regular client would earn Jason two well deserved promotions in the agency and a well-respected name as a sport agent in the world of pro golf.

After talking to Jason and fighting the urge to drop by the shop to tell Billy about the offers, María stuck to her previous plan for the rest of the morning: go for a swim at the community pool. Hoping it would not be too crowded yet, she grabbed her bag and headed for the pool, that was close to her house. As she entered the facility, she spotted Julie sitting on the edge of the pool, her feet in the cool water, keeping an eye of the very few kids that were playing around at that early time.

María left her bag on a chair, and took off her clothes, revealing the red swimsuit she had bought with Bradley a few months back. Lately everything reminded her of him, and she still did not know how she should approach him during the summer. She would have been amazed to know that Bradley was desperately trying to find a way to approach her, too, and that he was still in Austin trying to drown his worries and sorrows in alcohol, much to Tyra's surprise. She had decided not to go home and work longer hours during the summer, officially in order to make some extra cash to help her with tuition and housing expenses for the upcoming school year, in truth to stay away of Dillon as much as she could, but she had not counted on a drunken roomie to keep her company. Tyra doubted that Bradley had been sober for a whole day since the classes had finished two weeks ago, and his behavior both worried and intrigued her. He was a good student, he had a family that loved and supported him, he had a small but close circle of friends, why on earth would he be doing that to himself?

"Hey Jules… I see you're lifeguarding again..." María softly said sitting down beside her, doing her best not to scare her, and trying not to think about Bradley too much. After her conversation with her mom she still had not had the chance to ask Billy how he had really felt while they had been roommates, and she just hoped her mother had not been right.

"Hey María," Julie exclaimed when she turned around. "Good to see you girl! It was great seeing you on tv, although I have to say I have never seen my folks watch so much golf, Gracie was screaming for her cartoons on day two..." she joked.

"You too, you too… Thanks, I'll make sure to apologise to your little sister when I see her..." María replied while they hugged. "I can't believe I'm finally home," she added closing her eyes, thinking that she had not seen Julie since Thanksgiving. Or Tami. She felt a lump in her throat as she realized the very limited time she was spending with the people she cared about the most. And that was not likely to be changing in the near future, unless she took those sponsors up on their offer, because one thing she was certain about: while being a huge opportunity for her education and her golf, college and its hectic rhythm would keep her away of her loved ones as it had done this first year.

"Yeah, you won't believe it but I think I understand that…" Julie sighed, breaking the embrace and smiling at her. "I've been so eager to leave Dillon and now…" she shrugged, looking around, emotion suddenly filling her voice.

"Are you okay, Jules?" María asked, placing her arm around Julie's shoulders. She was well aware that Julie had had a terrible time when Matt had left for Chicago without saying goodbye, but she thought she was doing better now. She had even mentioned a new guy in her last email. María could not recall his name but vividly remembered how much she had laughed as she read that Julie had invited him over to dinner with her parents and he had actually asked what happened during a football game if it rained. María would have loved to see Coach Taylor's face.

Julie shrugged again. "Yeah… It's just… When I started high school, I couldn't wait to get out of Dillon. I thought that every book I read helped me to escape this small town that was all about high school football and nothing else. And now that I'm actually getting close to finally leaving, I'm surprised by how happy I am to be from where I'm from…" Julie explained, her feet nervously tracing small circles in the water, while she took off her sunglasses. "Does it make any sense?'" she shyly asked, trying to keep her tears at bay.

María nodded. "Of course it does… But maybe I'm not the one to ask. It's always been home for me, you know. And it's funny because all I want is to come home but I keep being away most of the time… Have you told your mom all this?" she asked, moved by her friend's emotion.

"Kinda. I know y'all find very easy to talk to her, but that's not certainly my case," Julie replied. She was well aware that her mother was known to be a very good listener, and she knew she was great at her job as school counsellor, but she had always find it hard to share certain feelings with her. She always thought that she was never good enough for Tami's standards, and that made it difficult to be close.

"Well, that's understandable, she's your mother…" María softly said. She had always had a good relationship with her mother herself, but she knew that was not very common.

"Well, she said that she knew I was sad about Matt leaving, but I should see the bigger picture, my life, my future, getting into the school of my dreams," she chuckled. "Her words, not mine. That if I blew it off because of a breakup, I'd end up regretting it…" Julie elaborated. Not only did she look sad, she seemed to be angry at her mother, too.

"Julie, it sounds to me that she just wants to help you, you should really share your concerns with her…"

"I know, I'm kinda… lost, I guess, and I feel I don't know what I want anymore…" Julie sighed.

"_Well, welcome to the club_," María thought, but refrained herself for saying it out loud. If she actually pronounced those words, Julie was going to ask her, and she wanted Billy to be the first one to know about the pro offers and her current dilemma. She tried to think about something else to cheer Julie up.

"Give it time, and I'm sure you're gonna love college, Julie. I guess we all go through those stages as we face changes in our life. Speaking of change, what about Ryan? Any news on that front?" she inquired. She was grateful she had suddenly remembered the guy's name as she was asking.

Julie smiled and shook her head. María did not miss the fact that her smile had not reached her eyes. "No, not really… He was nice and all but…" she trailed off.

"But he wasn't Matt, was he?"

"Exactly. I'm afraid he was just a rebound. I know it sounds horrible but…" Julie explained.

"Hey, I've always heard that rebounds are fun…" María said, bumping her shoulder into Julie's and trying to lighten her mood.

"It was fun, but… " she sighed. "Never mind. What about you and Billy? Enjoying your honeymoon?" Julie quickly changed the topic. Talking about Ryan only reminded her of how much she had missed Matt and how she had been comparing the two of them during the short period of time they had been together. "_So much for a fun rebound,_" she thought.

María laughed. "Yeah, 'cause it really feels like a honeymoon after all these months…"

"I bet! You look happy María…"

"Thank you. I can't complain, really. I just wish we could spend more time together. And I'm sure time will help with Matt, Julie…" María knew Julie loved Matt, and she was really sorry for everything her friend was going through. It amazed her how things had changed in the last months, and how life changes in a split second. She remembered thinking that Julie was a lucky girl, in a steady relationship with a good guy that loved her, when María was leaving for college and fighting her feelings for Billy. Now she was the lucky girl in a steady relationship with a guy that loved her, while Julie had her heart broken over Matt and his sudden and unexpected run to Chicago.

"I know. Oh! Almost forgot to tell you I saw Tim Riggins yesterday…" Julie suddenly exclaimed.

"Did you?" Marías asked. Tim had only come home the day before, and he had not mentioned seeing Jules, not the prior day, not that morning when they had gone for a run and had breakfast afterwards.

"Yeah, he came by Applebee's and we were chatting for a while after he had dinner. He seems… I don't know… different…" Julie added.

"Different, how?" María inquired, amused. Tim had certainly gone a long way during his freshman year in San Antonio, but the mere fact that he had shown it to someone that was not part of his inner circle surprised her.

"I don't know, just different…" To Julie, the Tim that had waited until her shift was over and had taken her home the previous night had nothing to do with the teenager that had been living with the Taylors for a while during her sophomore year in high school. She had always gotten on very well with him, but now she felt that she could feel attracted to this new Tim. And that only thought scared her, because of the obvious implications and, of course, his reputation with the opposite sex.

"Maybe you're seeing him differently? I mean, I don't blame you, he's gorgeous…" María cautiously said, testing the waters.

"What? No, we're friends…" Julie was quick to respond.

"I think I've heard that before, Jules…" María chuckled. She had her own experience with him to proof that assertion.

Julie chuckled back. "And Tyra would kill me after lecturing me… No, definitely it's a very bad idea…" Julie trailed off, shaking her head and waving her hands like if she could get rid of that idea just by doing that.

María placed her hand on Julie's forearm. "So you've considered it then?" she asked. "If it helps in any way, you have my blessing…" María said as she noticed a confused look on her friend's face, and then jumped into the water.

María swam for an hour, and by the time she came out of the water the pool and the lawn around it was already crowded. Seeing that Julie was now busy, she dried herself, gathered her things and waved her goodbye on her way out.

Her conversation with Julie had made her realize that there was no point in keeping Billy in the dark about the pro offers. She still did not want to make any decision yet, and she knew she did not have to, according to what Jason had told her, but she would like to share it with the people that were close to her. And of course in that list Billy came first.

So, despite the hot Texan sun, she walked to the garage hoping that he would not be especially busy. It was times like this that she missed not having her own car, but she had always thought the expense made no sense as she would not be using it on a regular basis. "It would just be sitting for months in the parking lot in college, Dad. Please don't do it, it'd be just a waste of money," she had insisted when Mac had offered to buy her a second-hand car last Christmas.

When she finally got there, she found Billy outside the shop, fixing the left rearview mirror of a shiny black Toyota. He smiled when he saw her approaching under the strong midday sun.

"Hey, someone needs a car. Well, you've come to right place…" he greeted her before she crossed the entrance gate, momentarily forgetting about the car in front of him to look at her. She was wearing a white t-shirt jean, shorts, and her unmistakable tennis shoes, nothing too fancy, but as usual he could not apart his eyes from her.

"Hey yourself. Don't say that twice, I may take you up on that offer…" she said reaching for the bottle of water she had in her bag.

"You must really want to see me if you walked all the way from the pool…" he joked while she drank the water, and put the empty bottle back in the outside pocket of her bag.

"Billy, it's only ten minutes, but yeah, you're right, I really wanted to see you…" she mischievously replied tugging his work overall with her hand and bringing him closer for a kiss.

"Timmy's inside with Pete. How about we elope for a quick lunch. Sounds good?" he said breaking the kiss, quickly taking her hand and leading them to his truck, parked by the entrance.

It was still early for lunch but she truly welcomed the offer. María was hungry after swimming and, most important, she was eager to resume their conversation about the future and share the news about the sponsors with him. "I'd love that. Aren't they going to wonder where you are?" she asked opening the passenger door.

"No, I'll text them. If I go there now those two'd probably start complaining about the computer and all, and I don't wanna waste my lunch break on that…. Here, you drive..." he said handing her the keys of the truck before she had the chance to hop in shotgun.

"You make an unusual boss, you know?" she whispered in his ear before turning to get to the other side of the vehicle.

"I know. I'm a terrific boyfriend, though…" he chuckled as he reached for her hand and kissed her cheek as she was passing by.

They drove to the Alamo Freeze, got some food to take away and ended up eating it seated on the bed of the truck, parked under a big tree at the same deserted plot he had taught her to drive more than five years ago. Due to the current crisis in the real estate business it was not likely to be developed any time soon, but the view was beautiful and it was a quiet place and Billy thought it was a good option to spend some time outdoors away from prying eyes. He had never done anything like that with any of his prior girlfriends, as they used to spend most of their time hanging out in bars or in his house, mostly in his bed, and for the first time since he could remember he found himself thinking about plans that did not involved any of that.

"Thanks for coming over," he said placing all the empty containers of food and drinks inside a paper bag, and tossing it in the far end of bed of the truck.

"You're welcome. You were right, I wanted to see you…" she whispered scooting over and taking his hand in hers, the sides of their bodies touching.

"I have that pull on women, you know," he joked, placing his arm over her shoulder and bringing her closer to kiss her temple.

"I know…" she whispered, squeezing his hand and nestling her head on his shoulder. "Last night we didn't have a chance to finish our conversation…" she tentatively added.

Billy tilted his head to make eye contact, suddenly worried about the previous night. "Did I scare you last night?"

María shook her head and tightened the grip on his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and holding his gaze. "No, not at all. Nothing you did or said last night scared me…"

"Because I don't want you to freak out… I love you," he stated.

"I love you too. And what you said about living together some day…"

Afraid of what she might say about that, he tried to clarify how he felt about it, not letting her finish her line. "I know it seems rushed, have to confess that sometimes I wish we could do it right away, but the wait will be worth it, M. You'll be double majored and playing the LPGA, if that's what you want…"

María smiled, wishing she knew what she really wanted to do. It would make things much easier. She was not afraid of working hard, both in college and in golf; she had done it before and she knew she could do it, but not being able to know what she wanted to do actually frightened her. For the first time in her life, she felt at a crossroad, lost. Until then the path had always been marked. Do her best at school and golf, in order to get ready for college to be able to play collegiate golf. "About that, I don't know what I really want, Billy…" she finally stated.

Sensing her worry, he shifted and sat her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Hey, don't worry, no rush to decide anything just yet, you've got three more years in UT… You know I'll support you whatever you wanna do after college, right?" he asked.

María placed her left arm around his waist and her right hand on his chest, and sighed smiling. "Yeah, I know… But right now the only thing I'm certain about is that I wanna spend with you as much time as possible…"

Billy smiled back. "Me too, M, and we have the whole summer for that…" he whispered bringing her closer to his chest and softly cradling her in his arms.

As she listened to his steady heartbeat, Maria thought that what she was about to tell him was going to be a great surprise for him, she hoped a good one, and felt butterflies in anticipation. "I know, but I don't mean just that. What'd you think if I told you that something's come up and it could help us seeing each other regularly throughout the year, not only in the summer?" she asked, widening her smile.

He blinked and tilted his head back, confusion written all over his face. "How? What do you mean?"

And then María told him about the LPGA sponsors calls she had gotten her last day in New Jersey, and how Jason Street had contacted them.

His eyes opened wide in surprise. "M, that's great, congrats, you really deserve it!" he excitedly congratulated her, kissing her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. "Jason says they are both very good offers. And it could mean that we'd able to see each other more than with me in college. Maybe I could even manage to live here in Dillon in between tournaments and…" she whispered after breaking the kiss for air.

The realization that she was really considering those offers and therefore dropping out of college suddenly hit Billy. He cupped her face with both hands and fixed his gaze on her, so close that their noses were almost touching. "M. Please, don't rush into anything. You're really willing to drop out of college?" he asked in a whisper.

María shrugged, and laid both her hands on his. "I don't know, I never thought of it until I these offers came through…"

"But you said just two days ago that you didn't know if the LPGA'd be your thing after college. You gonna do it now then?" he insisted.

"Yeah, I know what I said, but…" she trailed off, feeling that she was completely lost.

"Hey M, don't get me wrong please, I'll support you whatever you wanna do. But college is… I mean, this is a big decision and you seem to be…" It had been hard to convince Tim to stay in college, and the last thing he would have thought is that he would have to convince María, too. Of course those offers were great, and she should be very proud of herself, but her college education should be her first priority, let alone the knowledge, background and opportunities that collegiate golf could provide her. Even a hot headed guy, like he considered himself, could see that.

María sighed again. She should have guessed that Billy would not be willing to see her out of college. "I know, Billy, I'm a little bit confused, to put it lightly… I am pretty confused, really. When Coach Harris warned me about this before going to New Jersey I thought it was such a long shot… You know, to get offers to turn pro during my freshman year… It just sounded crazy… But the experience in the LPGA has been exhausting, right after taking all my finals, and suddenly I didn't know if I wanted to do that after college. And right when I was starting to relax and enjoy the moment, when you told me I didn't have to decide anything just yet, I got those calls. I had never thought of not finishing college to turn pro, and then I thought that maybe if I do that we'll be able to be see each other on a regular basis, not only on breaks, that's if I actually have breaks. Look what happened last Easter… Because in this state of confusion there's only one thing I'm certain about: I love you and I wanna be with you," she explained.

Billy's heart skipped a beat at her words. "Hey, I love you too. And I wanna be with you. And if you really want to drop out of college to turn pro, I'm gonna support you. And if you really want to finish college, get an education, a degree or two, I'm gonna support you too. And we'll find the way to see each other more, whether it is here in between pro tournaments or in college in between exams, assignments and golf. But please don't rush into anything just yet, okay? There's plenty of time," he tried to reassure her.

She sighed and smiled. "Thanks, Billy, I guess you're right. I just wanted you to know that I have no clue what I want to do, but if there is a chance we don't have to do the long distance thing I will consider it," she thanked him leaning in for another kiss.

"Okay. So nothing I did or said last night scared you, uh?" Billy asked breaking the kiss and touching her forehead with his, his eyes open to see her reaction to his question.

She opened her eyes. "No, and I'm really looking forward to tonight," she answered winking.

Billy chuckled. There it was again, that playful side of her that drove him crazy. He was not going to make it back to work if they stayed like that for a few more minutes. Plus they were in public. "Okay. Maybe we should be going … Otherwise I think you're not gonna have to wait until tonight," he said lifting her from his lap and kissing her cheek.

From that moment on María did her best not to think about those offers until at least the beginning of August. She hit the course and the range almost on a daily basis, but she spent the rest of the time with Billy, her parents, Tami, Julie and Tim. As the previous summer, Miles and Alan were working in Houston as interns and did not come home, and once more María's dream of a reunion of "The great five" was put on hold.

María and Billy's relationship grew even deeper during those weeks. Without the need to discuss it, they had established a daily routine, according to which they would have lunch together every day at María's, while Sue and Mac were working, and would go to the lake in the afternoons after Billy had closed the shop for the day. They would stay at the lake as much as the could, and then they would have dinner together, some days with María's parents, some days at Billy's, both of them learning to cook with the recipe book he had bought months ago. In the weekends they would golf together for most of the day, and on Sundays Billy would join the McGills in church and then have family dinner together, with Tim too. Some Sundays they would all gather with the Taylors for a barbeque, and it was one those occasions when María and Tami usually catched up on each other lifes.

And that was how on a late July Sunday barbeque, while her father, Billy and Coach Taylor were busy with the grill, her mother was running a last minute errand and Tim and Julie were mysteriously whispering seated on lawn chairs in the far part of María's backyard (as the summer went by, it was evident to her that there was something going on between Tim and Julie, yet not wanting to pry, María had not asked directly), María asked Tami for advice regarding her near future. She told her about everything regarding college and the pro offers, how she had felt while playing in New Jersey, and she confessed her that she was afraid the mere course of time was silently helping her to take the decision.

"María, honey, that's a huge decision and you're the only person who's got all the info to take it. But I do have one little piece of advice for you. Please, don't take it only based on your feelings for Billy. I know you love him, and he loves you, but if you make a choice just based on that, you may regret it later," Tami said trying not to be too blunt. The fact that María was considering ditching college horrified her, and she could not understand it coming from her, one of the best students she had ever met, unless her feelings for Billy Riggins had something to do with it.

"Tami, we do love each other…" María sighed.

"I know, sweetie, but you're just nineteen and I hope y'all be together forever, but just in case make sure to take into account more than that when you decide," Tami insisted. She had not missed the looks Billy was giving María from his spot beside the grill, and how she was looking back at him and smiling.

"Okay…" María said while she winked at Billy, earning a huge smile from him. "Sorry, I understand what you mean, Tami," she said turning her attention back to her.

Seeing María's hesitation, Tami felt the need to explain herself further. "It's okay, sweetie… I mean, a full scholarship in UT shouldn't be taken lightly, María… You're very young, you've got time to graduate, time to play pro, time to get married and have kids… Don't try to take all at once… But whatever you decide, we'll be here to support you…"

"I know, Tami, and believe me, I'm not taking any of this lightly…"

Sue's sudden appearance through the kitchen door ended their conversation abruptly. María mouthed a big 'Thank you' towards her former school counselor, and Tami hoped her words would help María take the best decision. She trusted her to finally do the right thing.

But although her words did help María, as she had told her the mere course of time was going to be key in her final choice, but not in the way Tami had thought it would. Once in Dillon for the summer and seeing Billy on a daily basis had taken any separation anxiety feeling away from her. They were very well together, and she could see he was completely focused on her and his business, all his former vices apparently forgotten, and seeing all that she thought maybe they could make the long distance relationship work for a few more years, as long as at least they could be together at Christmas and during the summer break.

So one late afternoon in the beginning of August while they were at the lake María brought it up out of the blue. They had not talked about it since that day she had spoken to Jason on the phone about the pro offer in early Junes. María, because she felt she needed time to consider all the pros and cons, and Billy, because he did not want to pressure her. She had enough on her plate and the last thing he wanted to do was push her to take a rushed decision.

It was nearly seven o´clock but María could still feel the strong Texan sun on her skin. As soon as they had arrived to the lake, they had left their bags in a quiet spot on the pebbled shore and had gone in for a swim. It was really hot and they both were good swimmers, so they stayed in the water for a long time. Now they were resting on the towels, facing the sun and María could hear Billy's light snoring. Without thinking about it twice, she took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips to plant a feather kiss on it. Knowing that she was not very keen on PDA, Billy opened his eyes and chuckled.

"I love you too…" he mumbled squeezing her hand.

She let go of his hand and turn on her side, her elbow on the towel holding her head, looking down at him. She started tracing small circles on his chest, and before he had a chance to stop her, she started talking.

"Billy, would you be disappointed if I stuck to the previous plan, you know, go back to college and graduate, for starters?"

As soon as she asked her question he opened his eyes and lay on his side too, facing her.

"What do you mean disappointed?" he frowned. "Babe, you could never disappoint me…"

"Hey, don't call me that here…" she blushed. She was not into pet names at all, but he had started to call her "babe" during their intimate moments, when they were in his bedroom or on his couch, and she had grown to like it, but she could not help feeling the blush creeping all over her face. "I think I wanna go back to college, Billy. I mean, I've always wanted a college education until these offers came out. And you know I love my life in college. The only thing I don't like about it is that we live five hours away and we only get to see each other during most of the breaks… But all things considered I think it's worth it," she explained looking at him, waiting for his reaction. "But what about you? Will you be willing to wait? While I'm in college you're here alone and… I don't know, Billy, it'll be at least three more years. Will you still be in?" she asked eagerly waiting for his answer.

He smiled at her. "M, nothing has changed for me since that afternoon in Midland airport, remember?"

She nodded, feeling a lump in her throat. That hour they had spent in Billy's truck when they had agreed to do the long distance relationship thing was one of the best memories of her life, and she was moved to learn that it was important to Billy, too.

"I do…" she managed to mumble.

"Well, something has changed indeed, my feelings for you are stronger now, M, but I'm still all in. Go to college, kick ass there, and we can have a life together after that if you still want me…" For a split second a disturbing but realistic thought crossed Billy's mind: _"Will I be really able to keep all this up -shop, football, golf range,- alone, with no company or distraction at all, for at least three years?"_, but he quickly dismissed it. He really meant to be all in and there was no need to worry María with that right now.

María chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure I'm gonna still want you, but will you be okay in the meanwhile?" she insisted. It was no secret that it would harder on Billy than on her.

He nodded. "I will, M. We'll figure it out together. Don't worry, everything is gonna be all right, I promise," Billy said, placing his left hand behind her head and bringing her close to seal their renewed deal with a soft kiss, that soon turned into a hot one despite being in public.

That night María arrived home later than usual. She had texted her mother to let her that she would be with Billy for a little longer. All lights were off and she quietly made her way into the house. But when she closed the front door after her she found her mother coming out of the kitchen.

"Hi mom, you're up late…" María greeted her.

"Yeah. Beth called just after you left to ask me if I could switch shifts with her, so I'm on the afternoon shift tomorrow. I was getting ready some dinner for your dad…" Sue explained.

"Thanks mom, but you don't have to do that. I'm home now, remember? I can take care of that, I'm promise I won't let dad starve…" She knew her cooking skills were still improvable, despite the time she had spent cooking with Billy, but she thought she could manage to cook an edible menu for her father.

"I know, sweetie, but I've figured that you'd like to go out with Billy. How's he, by the way? I haven't seen him the last times he's come over with all this changes in my shifts…" she asked.

"He's great, mom, really great…" A wide smile lit up Maria's face, as with any mention of him. But they had just recommitted to a long distance relationship a few hours ago and it somehow showed.

"I nearly forgot. You asked him about Bradley?" her mother asked again. This whole thing about María and Bradley sharing a dorm room in UT for more than half the school year had been reeling in her mind since Maria had told her while they were packing in campus, some weeks back now. She understood why María had not told her before, but she found it hard to come to terms with the fact that her daughter found it totally normal to share her dorm room with a boy. Sue was well aware that they were not romantically involved, but that even made it less understandable from her point of view. Hoping that she would find a way to get to understand it, she had not told Mac about it yet. She was sure he would upset at first too, and she wanted to be able to help him understand María's behavior.

"No, actually I'd forgotten about that too." She was telling the truth. During the last weeks she had completely forgotten about Bradley. "I guess I didn't have a chance to bring it up…" Maria answered noticing a fierce blush coming up her cheeks, wishing her mother would be too tired to inquire further.

But it was too late now as Sue had also noticed it. "Well, It's been weeks now since you're home," Sue chuckled. But suddenly something came to her mind. "María McGill, are Billy and you having sex?" she bluntly asked, half joking half serious.

Not seeing a way out other than lying, María kept her mother's inquiring stare and responded right away. "Yes, mom, we are…"

"Okay. Thanks for telling me. Can we talk for a minute, honey?" Sue said softly taking María's arm and leading her to the couch on the living room.

"Sure mom…" María mumbled. She found it somehow ironic that her mother wanted to talk to her about it when she just wanted to enjoy the moment. Of course they had not gotten engaged that day, but she certainly felt like they had somehow.

Once they were seated on the couch, Sue cut straight to the chase. "Do you love Billy?"

Maria sighed. She was too tired and too excited to have this talk now, and her response came out wrong, which was the last thing she wanted. "Mom, you already know I love Billy. What's the big fuss about it now?"

"Missy, I don't like your tone. I'd like to be able to have a conversation with you about it. I don't care that you're nineteen and in college now and already made your debut in the LPGA. I'm still your mother, you know? And I worry about you..."

"I know, mom, sorry…" María apologised, lowering her head.

"So does he love you?" Sue asked again.

María raised her head and locked eyes with her mother again. "Billy loves me, mom. He's even told dad about it. Nothing has changed, apart from finally being able to spend time together."

Sue nodded but kept questioning María. "And what about birth control?"

María smiled. If that was what her mother was worrying about, they had it fully covered. "Of course we're using birth control. I'm on the pill, and we're using condoms…" she explained, trying not to blush.

"Okay, that's great, María. I'm not asking you if you know how to use them properly, I guess Billy knows about that by now…" Sue joked in an effort to make it easier to María to talk about it.

"Mom!" María exclaimed, offended.

"Yeah, I know that was out of line. Sorry sweetie… I guess I'm nervous having this conversation with you…" Sue quickly apologised. She then realised it sounded much more like a questioning than a conversation, and promised herself to try and soften her tone. After all, this chat was meant to try and help María, and not to embarrass or, even worse, offend her.

"It's okay mom… But you don't have to worry. Billy's really good about it," María said sensing her mother's nervousness.

"That's great, María… Just a quick word of advice. You know that, just because you're having sex for some time doesn't mean that you have to all the time, and if it ever starts feeling like he's taking it for granted, or you're feeling you're not enjoying it, you can stop anytime. And if you have a break-up with Billy, it's not like, you know, you have to have sex with the next boy, necessarily."

"I know mom, thank you."

"Yeah, I know you do, honey. I guess I had this speech prepared for a sixteen or seventeen year old girl, and look at you know... Remember the first time we talked about this? You'd just started dating Jack and …" Sue trailed off.

"That seems a lifetime ago, mom…" María mumbled nearly wincing at the memory of the time Jack and her were dating, and how badly it all ended.

"My point exactly. I wanted you to wait, because I wanna protect you, because I love you and I wanna make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you. So thank you for waiting this far, and for always being able to talk to me, even if it's something like this, and for asking for that prescription…"

"Mom, I didn't want to worry you, that's why I never mentioned it again after the prescription last Christmas. But I'm really glad we had this conversation. And rest assure, we love each other and we're not planning on having a baby while I'm in college…" she explained, kissing her mother good night.

Little did she know that only in a few months time she would recall the last words she had pronounced that night, wishing she had not done so.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Looking back, María always remembered her sophomore year in UT as her happiest one in college. Not being a rookie anymore and knowing what to be expected from her life in campus certainly made things much easier. She started enjoying most of her classes beyond the need to pass the exams, even the subjects she liked less, which were those related to Business, and she did her best to make the most of her Psychology classes, guessing that there was a very slim chance that she would have the opportunity to look into those matters again.

Despite its crazy schedule and high standard, even collegiate golf seemed to be less demanding after the experience gained the prior year. The fact that she had done remarkably well during her rookie year did help, plus she already knew the coaching staff and the way they worked also helped her. Not only was she familiar with all her coaches now, but she was surprised to notice that the LPGA tournament she had played a few months back had made her grow closer to Coach Harris. A special bond had been developed between the two of them during that week in New Jersey, and that player-caddie special connection had somehow managed to transform itself into an unusual dynamic between player and coach. He was still her coach, and she would always address him by "coach" or "sir", and he would also always call her by her last name, but she admired him as a golfer and trusted his instructions and his advice to no end. And that did reflect in her golf. Nothing to do with her first weeks in UT, when they had gotten off to a rocky start, when he had been complaining about her overbackswing non-stop, and she had not taken it well at all. Now, under completely different circumstances, María felt well prepared and fully supported to face the challenges of the season, which were quite a few.

The main one was keeping her spot in the UT lineup throughout the year. Her well deserved WGCA Freshman of the Year Award and her great stats had earned her respect from both the coaching staff and her teammates, but no guarantee of future results. If anything, it could mean more pressure to keep up with her outstanding golf, surrounded by young golfers eager for success like she was 24/7. Yet she managed to transform all that pressure into motivation.

And besides that, the fact that she was in a good place, emotionally speaking, played a paramount role in it.

First of all, in that regard she was no longer worried about her father's health, like she had been during her first year in Austin, no matter what her mother or Billy had told her. Mac had made a speedy recovery after his stroke and all the tests he had had during the past several months had come back very well, which was a huge relief to María. Being home all summer long and seeing how well he was doing had finally put her mind at ease regarding his current state of health.

Secondly, she was sharing her small dorm room with Annie Aguirre again, and even though she had had nothing to do with that, she quickly found out that it really helped her focus on classes and golf. John and Annie had broken up over the summer and, although she was truly sorry for them, María had warmly welcomed Annie back in her room. She had felt really lonely after Bradley had left, but the prospect of sharing her small living space with a stranger did not sit very well on her.

Bradley was also back in the dorms, being John's roommate again. María did not know if the breakup between their friends had driven him back into dorm life, or if he would have come back anyway. Choosing not to know the reason behind it, she had not asked directly, but she welcomed it and felt comfortable having him around.

Yet it had taken her a while to reach that state of mind regarding Bradley. After weeks of hesitation on both parts, they had finally run into each other one Sunday afternoon at the lake in Dillon, just two weeks before classes were due to start in UT. Billy and María were coming out of the water, joking and laughing, when she bumped into Bradley with her back.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" she apologised turning around.

Bradley had seen María coming backwards towards him while she was joking with Billy, water up to their knees. Much to his dismay, in the few seconds that passed until she bumped into him he had had time to think that he would recognize that swimsuit anywhere, and braced himself for impact.

María was astonished to see Bradley in front of her, his red hair shining under the bright sun.

"I am… Hey Maria…" he forced himself to say, smiling, trying to hide his excitement. Finally he was going to have the chance to talk to her. Maybe it was not the best place (the lake was crowded) nor the best moment (Billy was just five feet away from them), but it would have to do. He had deeply regretted not calling or contacting her after the tournament in New Jersey, because after that he had not been able to find an excuse to do so. It was not that he needed an actual excuse to do so, as he liked to think that despite all they were still good friends, but in the end he had found it impossible to find the way to do it.

"Hey Bradley," María said back, seeing out of the corner of her eye that Billy was now right behind her and that Bradley was not alone, either. Laura, his former girlfriend, was with him. "Hey, Laura, how're you?" she politely said, turning to hug her. Laura had also been on the Panthers soccer team and María knew her well. Being also a forward, both of them had spent a great deal of time together working on plays with Coach Roberts in addition to regular practice, and they always got along really well. As they were very much alike, only María's tight schedule and Laura dating one of Jack's teammates in Westerby had prevented them from becoming close friends and hanging out together.

"Very well, and you? It's great to see you, María," Laura hugged her back, while Billy and Bradley were greeting each other and shaking hands.

"You too. How are your parents? And college? Houston, right¨" María asked back, happy to have the chance to catch up with her.

After a few minutes of small talk among the four of them, they said their goodbyes and Billy and María started walking toward their towels while Bradley and Laura headed for the water. Thinking that it was now or never, he looked intently at Laura and turned back when she nodded.

"Hey, María, a word, please?" he asked with a hoarse voice. It was miracle that he had been able to speak out at all, being as nervous as he was.

Hearing his voice, María looked at Billy, who nodded. "Yeah, go ahead, I'll start gathering our things."

She turned around and met him halfway. "Of course…"

Bradley started talking as soon as he knew he had María's attention. "I know it's too late, but don't they say it's never too late? I hope it's really not too late, anyway…" he rambled.

Sensing his nervousness, she reached for his forearm. "Hey, Bradley, it's okay. What do you want to say?"

He gulped. He had forgotten how well he felt around her. Putting those thoughts aside, he focused on what he wanted to tell her. "Congrats on your great tournament in New Jersey, Maria. I know it's been ages, but I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me…" he trailed off briefly diverting his gaze from her face to fix it back on her again.

Maria frowned. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I can think of a couple of reasons, but basically because I left you alone in the dorm with no explanation…" he tried to elaborate without being too blunt and too open about his feelings.

She heaved a sigh. "Bradley, you owe me no explanation at all, and for it's worth, I think I know why you did it, and I'm really sorry if I made things more difficult for you. I never meant to…"

He shook his head at her words and did not let her finish. "You did nothing of the kind, María. I'm the one to blame, I should've never told you how I felt. Are we good?" he finally asked.

"We are," Maria nodded, noticing that he had used the past tense, 'I felt', and she thought that it would be great if he had really moved on. She wondered if he and Laura were dating again. Maria valued his friendship greatly and had missed him during the time there had been no contact between them.

"Thanks. I have to go, see you around, María." There were so many things he wanted to share with her, but he knew it was not the right time. He had not asked Laura out for the first time since they had broken up more than two years ago to leave her swimming on her own the minute he ran into María.

"Yeah, see you around, Bradley," she said feeling that a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. As she reached their spot on the pebbled shore, she sat down on her towel beside Billy and sighed.

"You okay?" Billy asked, sensing it had not been an easy conversation. He could perfectly understand than someone could be attracted to María, he himself was the perfect example, and he really felt for the guy.

"Yeah, I think we finally cleared the air. He says I did nothing to make him feel bad…" she shrugged, still not fully convinced by Bradley's words. Knowing how he felt about her, she was well aware she might have slightly crossed the line with him.

"Well, that's it, then, finally out of your system…" Billy said, in an effort to comfort her.

"Yeah, I hope things go back to normal… By the way, I never asked, when we were rommies, was it okay with you?" she suddenly remembered to inquire.

Billy chuckled. He had never shared with María how he really felt about it, and he had hoped he would never have to after Bradley moved out. He was no really proud of it. Yet there it was now. "You want me to lie?'" he asked back trying to buy some time before answering.

She playfully smacked his arm. "Of course not. The truth would be nice…"

He looked down, unable to hold her gaze, sensing he was about to disappoint her. "I was jealous, really jealous. Thinking that you two were so close in those tiny twin beds…" he mumbled.

"Billy, you've never seen those beds…" Maria chuckled, in an attempt to mask the fact that obviously he had not been happy about it.

Billy finally raised his gaze and met hers. "But I can imagine them, you know? The thought of you naked in…"

"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses cowboy… I was never naked with him in the room…" she stated, raising her hands for emphasis. "_No doubt he's jealous if he thinks that. But, how can he think that?"_ she thought.

"Well, that's sure a relief…" he said, half joking, feeling his imagination had gone too far and it might be upsetting María. He did trust her, and therefore he had never asked directly, too afraid that if he actually asked it would make her think that he did not.

"I'm sorry…" María apologized, sensing his discomfort with the whole situation, lowering her gaze. "_This must have been difficult for a caveman like him,_" she sadly thought.

Billy placed his hand on her chin and tilted her head up to make eye contact with her. "Don't be… Always trusted you, and was also happy for you because he's a good guy and I knew he would take good care of you…" Billy tried to reassure her. He was not lying; that was the only reason he had not let jealousy take over back then. María's well-being came first.

"You're so sexy when you're jealous," she whispered truly moved by his words, leaning it for a kiss, and making a mental note to tell her mom that she had been right about that.

But not only was it her father's health and her status quo with Bradley that made her feel so good during her sophomore year in college. Billy also played a key role in it. During those months he was the perfect boyfriend. Long distance boyfriend, yes, but perfect in any case. Only the unexpected remarkable football season of the East Dillon Lions prevented him from visiting her in Austin during the first semester. But he drove back and forth to give her a ride home for Thanksgiving break. They had not covered more than thirty miles when she asked him to take a little detour from the highway, in order to be able to sit the closest she could to him and rest her head on his shoulder. They had not seen each other for three months. Needless to say, it had not taken long for Billy to pull over on the side of a lonely country road and sit her on his lap, letting her know how much he had missed her. It finally took them more than six and a half hours to arrive home, instead of the usual five.

María could not make it to the State Game right before Christmas, as she was playing in California that weekend, but she was the first thing that came to his mind when he congratulated Coach Taylor on the field right after the game was over. Later on, when Billy phoned her, he thanked her, his voice filled with emotion. "Thanks, M, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you," he said. "Well, you're welcome. Just… please don't wear your two State rings together…" she joked trying to swallow the lump in her throat. But he did wear them together as soon they were given the rings at the beginning of the following season, much to her dismay. "A bit tacky, don't you think?" she asked, but not even her comments were able to discourage him from doing so.

Unlike the previous year, Billy was able to visit her on her birthday. It was just to have lunch together, because some important business for the shop awaited him in Dillon, but Maria made the most of it. When it was time for him to leave, she hugged him and rested her head on his chest, knowing that it would be at least three months before she could do that again, as once again she would be playing the 12 Big Championship instead of going home for spring break.

As María felt his hands caressing the small of her back under the hem of her t-shirt, she started talking.

"Thanks for coming… it's a long drive just for lunch…" María mumbled.

"My pleasure, don't wanna miss any of your birthdays anymore…" he whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way, Billy. I wish…" she sighed and carried on, "I'd change everything if that meant that we could spend more time together. And that scares me, Billy. Because I'd give up almost everything to be with you, and sometimes I think I should just do it..." she elaborated, her face buried on his chest.

"Shhhh, I think that's called love, M, and I'm honored, really, but you don't have to give up anything. And I don't want you to, okay? I'm sure you'd regret it with time. I know that being apart is hard, but I've always thought we can make it," he tried to reassure her. Definitely, he did not want her to give up her dream for him.

"I know, but…"

"Hey, we'll manage something around spring break after the 12 Big, okay?" he promised as he kissed her goodbye in an effort to cheer her up when he was about to leave for Dillon.

True to his word, Billy booked a room at the Driskill Hotel in Austin for the night she would be back from the 12 Big, before she had to go back to her college routine, and María joined him there the minute she set foot in town back from Dallas. She was ecstatic because apart from earning a big W she was very close to set the single-season NCAA scoring average record as a sophomore, like she had already done her freshman year. Half the team had caught a stomach bug the week before the tournament and she had made it to the UT lineup in the last minute. She had lost weight during those days and the coaching staff were afraid she might not be in the best condition to play, but she proved them wrong making a quickly recovery and playing her best golf in Dallas. Once back, she was over the moon and she made the most of the few hours that she and Billy were together.

Regretfully, she had to be back in campus at 7 a.m. the following morning for early practice and she was late for the first time in her life since she had started golfing as a kid.

Luckily for her, Coach Harris was in charge of the morning session and did not give her a hard time for it in front of the whole team. He just frowned when she quickly made her way to the further lane of the range as quiet as possible, trying not to gather any attention. Nevertheless, María did not feel comfortable with it and knocked on his small office door after practice was over.

"Morning, Coach, I was wondering if I could have a word with you, please. If it's not the right time I can come back later," she shyly said, nervously playing with the globe on her left hand.

"Sure, come on in, McGill, take a seat," Coach Harris said sitting behind his small desk. He could sense Maria was there to apologise and that was one of the the things he liked the most about her. She did not hide, not golfing and, apparently, not in life either. He had been willing to turn a blind eye on her tardiness, but now seeing her not letting it go he could see that it had been a mistake.

"Thanks Coach. I just wanted to apologise for being late for practice. I know I'll be on club duty for at least the next week, but I wanted to tell you that it won't happen again…" she elaborated, finally taking off her globe and placing it on her lap.

Connor Harris shook his head and leant on the backrest of his chair. "Don't think I said anything about club duty…"

"I know, but that's the usual, right? If someone's late for practice is on club duty for a week…" she explained. It did not feel right to have a special treatment.

"Yeah, but not you, McGill... You're our best player and double majoring no less, and, more important, never been late before. I bet there're more useful things you can devote your time to..." Coach Harris trailed off.

This time it was María who shook her head. "I appreciate that but, all due respect, sir, I don't want any special treatment. I'm part of the team for better and for worse, and I've no excuse for being late," she simply stated, holding his gaze and trying to push the thoughts about the reason that had caused her to be late to the back of her mind in order to focus on her conversation with Coach Harris.

He nodded. "Okay, I guess you're on club duty for the next couple of weeks then," he said wishing, not for the last time, that they had more players like her, both on and off the course.

"Thanks Coach. It won't happen again," she repeated.

Coach Harris smiled. "McGill, word of advice? Don't be so hard on yourself. Everybody'll understand if you're five minutes late for practice for once or twice in your life. There's nothing wrong in enjoying yourself from time to time. If Billy is in town and you want to spend time with him just say the word, I'm sure Coach Colt will be happy to let you some time off," he offered trying to make things a little more easier for her. He was familiar with her long distance relationship with Billy, as she herself had told him during the time they had been in New Jersey the previous year, and he knew for a fact that it was not easy. He himself had been in a relationship of the kind with his high school sweetheart, and finally they had tied the knot the prior Christmas after more than eight years of ups and downs. They had broken up more than once during that time, and, franky, it was a miracle that they had survived all that.

María smiled back. "Thank you sir, but that won't be necessary. Billy was just in Austin for one night, he's gone back to Dillon."

"_No wonder she was late, I would've been late myself,"_ he thought, "_and_ _more than five minutes for sure._" He did his best to focus on the matter at hand. "Okay, but the offer still stands. Finals are just around the corner and if you want some time to study or whatever you need, just say the word, okay?" he kindly offered.

"Okay, thank you Coach. I'll bear that in mind. I better go now, don't wanna be late for Accounting, too," she said raising from the chair.

"Yeah, don't… You're welcome, McGill. See you later for afternoon practice," he chuckled. "_Oh, this girl's gonna be a star and she doesn't know it yet…"_ he said to himself. After nearly two years working with her, it still amazed him the way she handled her talent.

Totally distracted by the events of the last few hours, María managed to navigate through her tight college schedule until it was time to go to afternoon practice. The urge to hear Billy's voice and to know that he had arrived safely in Dillon became overwhelming, she could not wait anymore and fished her cell phone out of her pocket on her way to the range.

She speed-dialed his number and had not to wait long for his answer.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in practice now?" he asked, surprised by her unexpected call.

"Hey, I'm on my way, sometimes you sound like my dad…" she joked. "Just wanted to hear your voice, arrived safely?" she inquired while on the background Annie could be easily heard. "Come on, María, you don't wanna be late again, Coach Harris will kick your ass this time…"

Billy chuckled. "Yeah, thanks. Listen, go to practice and we'll talk later, okay?" he answered, amused by Annie's comment.

María closed her eyes trying to make the moment last as long as possible. "Sure… I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you that I can't stop thinking about that shower this morning. Never felt that before, the way you…"

Hating to do so, Billy abruptly interrupted her. "Hold on, M… I'm driving and Timmy's here with me. You're on speaker..." Tim's laugh was now clearly unmistakable on the other side of the telephone line and María could not be more embarrassed.

"Oh…" That was all she was able to say after hearing Billy.

"Hi Mars, what're you saying about that shower?" Timmy chimed in, breaking the sudden silence, obviously enjoying the situation.

"Hi Timmy, nice to hear you. If y'all excuse me, I should get to practice. Bye boys!" she managed to say as she ended the call and felt a wild blush creeping over her face.

"Not a word, Timmy," Billy advised Tim as soon as María hung up, setting his eyes on the road ahead of them, "not a fucking word…" he insisted.

"Are you kidding? That seemed to be an interesting kind of shower, I wonder what you did since she was so..." Tim ignored his brother's warning.

Surprisingly Billy took the bait. He felt the need to share how he felt about María, and Tim, who was home from San Antonio State for spring break, was right beside him. "Nothing, man. One moment she's getting dressed and I hit the shower and the next thing I notice is she stepping back in. I just showed her how much I'm gonna miss her till she comes home for the summer…" he shrugged, a big smile on his face.

"So that good, uh?" Tim winked and smacked his arm, which almost cost them to get off the road.

"Timmy, watch out!" Billy complained.

Tim shook his head. "You're a lucky son of a bitch, man, you know that? I mean, Mars, she's great... " Sometimes it amazed Tim how Billy had managed not only to find his way into María's heart but to keep the flame alive after a year and a half dating long distance.

Billy smiled proudly. "I know. But right back at you, little brother. Little Julie Taylor, who would've thought, uh? And long distance, no less. I bet you also let her know how much you're gonna miss her… Love just makes sex much better, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, that it does…" Tim said. He and Julie had been together since the prior summer, but nobody knew about it except for Billy and Tyra. They had both agreed to keep it under wraps for the time being. Tim, because he was really afraid of Coach Taylor's reaction. He had already gone through a dilemma when Julie and him started to get close at the beginning of the summer. Matt was his friend and the last thing he wanted was to break that code again, like he had done years ago with Jason, but both the time spent with Julie and the knowledge that it had been Matt who had run to Chicago without even say good-bye to her softened his worries and finally encouraged him to take action and kiss Jules one afternoon he had given her a ride from the community pool to her house. And Julie, because she still could not believe that she was dating Tim Riggins, and wanted to be sure that it was not just a fling before going public.

Like María, Julie had not come home for spring break. Her parents and Gracie were house hunting in Pennsylvania, as they were due to move there sometime over the summer, and Julie had decided to stay in Houston preparing her finals so she could be in Dillon in late May, at the same time than Tim. At least that was what she had told him, and although he had no reason to doubt her, a part of him was afraid that she could be starting to get tired of him. It was a fact that there were completely different, and maybe that was the reason for their mutual attraction, yet at twenty years old Tim was well aware that more than pure attraction was needed to build a relationship. She liked books and foreign movies and hated sports and country music, and now that the initial attraction was fading into some kind of routine, he feared for the worst.

Completely oblivious to Tim's current worries, María dove into the last part of the semester in high spirits. But barely one week later her energy and joy seemed to slowly begin to fade. She felt tired all the time and she blamed it on the finals.

"Hey, María, you sure you're okay? You look like shit…" Tyra asked her in the cafeteria after class. Throughout the year she had learnt from Mindy that Billy's feelings for María had played a key part in their break up, and she could guess that María had also been involved somehow in Bradley's erratic behavior the previous year, but for once in her life she had not confronted her, which had been her first impulse when she had found out. Although they were not best friends, she really valued María's friendship too much to jeopardise it over her sister's lousy taste for men. Tyra strongly believed that Mindy should have never started anything with Billy, which was funny because she should be the first one to understand the pull that a Riggins could have.

"Well, thanks Tyra... I'm just tired, that's all," María responded. But Tyra was not the only one to ask. One morning they were heading to Economics class when suddenly Bradley noticed big purple shadows under her eyes. He could not ignore the signals anymore. As everybody entered the classroom, he gently took her arm and dragged her behind a column in the hall, away of any prying eyes.

"What're you doing, Bradley? We're gonna be late..." she complained.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to Mrs Brooks later," he sighed, bracing himself for impact. "I'm worried about you, María, we're all are. You're not sleeping, you're not eating. Annie wanted to call your folks yesterday, she said you've been crying at night lately. What's going on, María?" he worriedly asked.

"I'm fine, Bradley," she said turning around, ready to resume her way towards the classroom.

"Wait!" he stopped her by standing in her way. "Please?" he begged. "I don't intend to pry, just wanna help María…"

She sighed. She had been carrying this burden on her own for days and was surprised to realize that she welcomed the opportunity to share it with someone she trusted. Plus Bradley's concern had truly moved her.

"I'm late, Bradley," María stated in a steady voice. "And I have more symptoms, too. I'm tired and sick all the time, I think I'm pregnant…" she added as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Bradley did not know what he expected exactly, but sure it was nothing like that. "Does Billy know?" he asked daring to getting close and wipe off her tears with his thumbs. She did not wince at his touch, and he hugged her when she shook her head.

"You should tell him, you know?" he softly whispered, holding her tight.

"I don't know if I wanna worry him before it's confirmed…" she mumbled back.

Bradley broke the embrace reluctantly and rested his gaze on hers. "Okay, here's the deal. I'll get some pregnancy tests for you if you promise me that you're gonna tell Billy today. Deal?"

Maria nodded. "Deal. Thanks Bradley."

"My pleasure. Now let's go to class then," he said turning to head for the hall.

"Wait Bradley." This time it was María who blocked his way. "Do you mind… would you like… to stay with me for a while? Maybe skipping classes and going for a drive till lunch time?" she hopefully asked." I'm not really in the mood for the law of supply and demand right now…"

"Of course. But you drive…" he replied, taking the keys of his SUV out of the pocket of his jeans and placing them in her hand. It was not hard to imagine how scared she was. He himself had been down that road before, although it had ended up being a total disaster and a big lie from the beginning. But María was not Alice, and she really needed his help, although it could result in getting hurt again. "_Well, so be it. I've survived it before_," he thought as he followed her to the parking lot.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

As much as she was reluctant to worry her long distance boyfriend beforehand, María knew that Bradley had been right about telling Billy. So that evening she called him as soon as Annie joined some teammates in the common room downstairs, giving her some much needed privacy in their small dorm room. That was certainly one of the things she had grown to like less about college life: the lack of privacy that living in the dorms involved. She had enjoyed it at first, mostly during the time Bradley had been her roommate (fortunately for her, as it would only add confusion to her already troubled mind, she had not given that idea much thought), but now she found that kind of life suffocating sometimes.

Knowing that Annie would be gone for more than an hour, María looked at the brown paper bag that contained four pregnancy tests on her desk ("Don't hesitate to repeat it," Bradley had firmly but gently instructed her), sat on her bed, sighed deeply and speed-dialed Billy's number.

"Hey, beautiful. How're you?" he cheerfully answered his cell noticing her name on the screen.

María tried to swallow the lump in her throat, hating to be the one bringing bad news. She wondered if he would be still happy after hearing what she was about to tell him, and she really wished he would. Forgetting all the usual greetings, she cut straight to the point. Once she had made up her mind about sharing her suspicion with him there was no place for small talk. At least, she did not feel like it.

"Billy… There's something I've got to tell you…" she finally managed to say.

"Are you okay, M?" he worriedly asked as soon as he heard her tone, tightening the grip on his phone. He had thought he had caught a hint of sadness in her voice lately, but he had repeatedly inquired and she had always responded that everything was all right, so he had blamed it on her finals and the demanding upcoming end of the golf season. He was well aware that her stats were excellent once more and she had a very good shot at setting a new record. "_I should've kept asking, something's obviously wrong,_" he said to himself as he asked her once more.

"Yes...no… I don't really know…" she stammered moved by his concern.

"M, babe, you're gonna have to give me a little more here, I'm freaking out right now… What's going on?" he insisted bracing himself for impact. But nothing had prepared him for the words she was about to speak.

María sighed. "Billy, I hate to say this over the phone…"

"M, please, you're clearly upset. Are you okay?" For a moment there, and trying not to panic, Billy thought that she was breaking up with him. She had not complained at all when he had called her 'babe', and he wished she had done so, as it would be something she would do if things were right between them. "_No, she'd do it in person…_" he tried to calm his racing heart and pay attention to her next words.

Feeling that there was no point in slowing the inevitable, and sensing his rising concern, she closed her eyes and finally spilled it. "Billy, I think I'm pregnant. I´m late, sick and tired all the time…" she explained in a low voice, barely audible over the telephone line.

A huge sense of relief washed over Billy, followed by a sensation that took him some time to identify as something very similar to happiness. But he was so surprised, by both her words and his first thoughts about them, that he said nothing at first and thus María misinterpreted his silence.

"Billy, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. And I didn't want to call you not knowing for sure, but I …" she quickly apologized, opening her eyes and doing her best to soften the blow.

"Hey, M, there's nothing to be sorry for. You did well telling me. We'll figure it out…" he uttered wishing there was other way to talk about this but over the phone. She was clearly upset, and he was not very good at communicating, and doing it long distance was not going to help.

"You sure, Billy?" María asked for reassurance, needing to be able to fall back on something.

"Yeah…" he muttered. His brain was going faster that his ability to speak, and he tried to express what he was really thinking. "If I leave now I could be there in less than five hours. Any chance you could sneak out of the dorms at night and we find out together?" he offered while he pressed his cell between his ear and shoulder, and made a beeline to the office to get his wallet and his keys. María's call had found him getting a few things ready in the shop for the incoming work the next day, but all that had been suddenly forgotten by her revelation.

"Would you… would you do that?" María quietly responded, feeling her eyes tearing up and fighting to control her emotions.

"You kidding? I'm gonna just blame that question on your hormones… Sorry, bad joke…" Billy apologized as soon as he heard himself. So much for having worked on his impulsiveness. As soon as he was certain he had it under control it showed at the slightest of chances. He was so… nervous? No, not nervous; he was excited, and truly amazed to find out that he was excited. But obviously María was not.

"Hey, M, listen, I think it's good news, kind of surprising to tell you the truth, but we'll figure it out…" he repeated, in an effort to calm her down. Now that he was processing the news he was realizing that she had been dealing with this for days on her own. "_She must be terrified and exhausted_," he thought.

"Yeah? You really think so?"

"Of course. First we have to find out for sure, and if it is, I don't know, M, timing sucks, but we'll figure it out together... Now, I'm off in five. So you think you can skip curfew tonight?" he asked again closing the shop door and heading for his truck.

"Yeah, yeah… I can ask Coach Harris, I'm sure I'll get his clearance," Maria stated, remembering the conversation she had had with him only two weeks ago, and his offer to give her some time off. She had never asked for something like that since she was in UT, and she was sure that was not going to be a problem.

"Okay, see you in five hours then, give or take," he said starting the engine, his phone still pressed between his shoulder and his head.

"Okay. Drive safe and, Billy?"

"Yeah?" Billy replied buckling his seat belt, all with one hand while he now held his cell with the other.

"Thanks. I love you," she said closing her eyes again and feeling a little bit calm for the first time in a week.

"I love you too, M."

María tried to keep herself busy while she waited on Billy to arrive in Austin. She spent most of the time studying in her room, but her mind kept wandering. "It's good news," Billy had said, and somewhere along those long five hours that idea stuck with her. Starting a family with Billy could never be bad news. It was not like if they were in a casual relationship, they had plans for the future. Of course it was not the best timing, not at all, but maybe they could find a way to make it work. And maybe she could still pursue a college degree, although she knew she would have to forfeit her golf scholarship. That would mean that she would no longer be part of the UT golf team, and, of course, also giving up on her dream of becoming a golf pro, but in some way, those things did not seem to be important anymore.

By the time Billy picked her up outside her dorm building, the idea of having a child as she left her teen years behind (if she had done the math right, she would be just twenty by the time the baby was due) had grown in her.

"Hey," María said as she hopped in his truck, closing the passenger door behind her and leaning in to hug him.

Billy was glad to notice a small smile on her face, but the purple marks under her eyes and the evident weight loss really alarmed him. She really looked sick.

"Hey, you all right?" he asked wrapping his arms around her waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I am, now," she responded, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Everything is gonna be alright, M, I promise…" he whispered in her ear. "You good to go?"

María nodded. "Yeah. I'm free till my eleven o'clock class tomorrow. Coach Harris signed it off…" she explained, her head still on his shoulder.

"Good. I'm starting to like this guy… Where you wanna go? Try the Driskill?" he inquired tilting his head to look at her.

"No, not just for a few hours… There's a nice and quiet motel down the road. Annie's family and friends stay there every time they come to visit. In fact, I was hoping we could spend there a weekend at the end of the season before going home, but I wasn't planning on this…" she explained fixing her tired eyes on his.

"Okay, the motel it is then. Let's go," he agreed as he kissed her temple.

After a short and quiet drive to the motel, María ordered some pizza as Billy checked them in. As they entered the cozy room, she left her bag beside the bed and sat down. She had been feeling her stomach upset for the last few minutes and she knew what would come next. The mere thought about food had that effect on her lately. She tried to take long and deep breaths trying to calm down but it was useless, she was running for the bathroom as soon as she felt her stomach turning. She managed to close the door after her and Billy went to check after her, quietly rapping his knuckles on the door.

"Hey, M, you okay?"

Not having an immediate answer, he asked again. "¿M?"

"Please, don't come in," María begged in a quiet voice.

"Why? Are you sick?" He could hear then a low groan and retching sounds. As she did not respond this time, he turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open to find María sitting on the tiled floor of the bathroom, in front of the toilet. Her face was flushed and her eyes red-rimmed, and thin drops of sweat could be seen on her forehead.

"You're sick. Here, let me help you," he said sitting right behind her and caressing her back.

"I think it's over now. There can't be anything left anyway…" But as she spoke she groaned again, clutching her stomach. Then she sat up leaning her back against this chest, his hand gently sweeping her damp fair hair from her face, feeling her hot forehead.

"I think you're running a fever…" he quietly whispered, hugging her from behind. She shrugged. "I don't know…"

"M, maybe you should see a doctor right away…" Billy said concerned by her health.

"No, I'd like to know first…" she shook her head closing her eyes, placing the back of her head in the crock of his neck. By the time Billy had arrived in Austin, María was well aware that this would end up eventually in a doctor consultation, pregnant or not, as she had been sick too long now, but she wanted to go there knowing what to expect, far more considering that the sensible thing to do given her current status was to see the team doctor.

"M, I'm so sorry…" Billy apologized holding her tight, trying to convey some strength to her obviously exhausted body. No matter how excited he was about the possibility of having a kid with her, seeing her so sick made him feel responsible. He was older than her and, though unbeknown to María, he had already been down that road before, so he was supposed to make sure this pregnancy scare scenario was never to happen.

María shook her head again, her eyes still closed. "Don't be, Billy. I don't blame you, not at all. We were both in that shower, it takes two to tango…" she said.

"You think that was the time?" he whispered.

She shrugged again. "Has to be, the one and only time we only relied on the pill. And the date adds up too…" She then shifted to look at him. "But no matter what those tests say, I don't regret it Billy, and of course I don't blame you…"

"Thanks, I don't regret it either," he thanked María while he cradled her in his arms.

She then pushed up, and Billy grabbed one of her elbows to support her while she walked to the sink. Once María had splashed water on her face and her wrists and rinsed her mouth out, she turned around. "Shall we find out now?" she asked, a small smile struggling to curl her lips.

Billy smiled back and squeezed her hand. "Yeah, let's do it."

Much to her surprise, all four tests came back negative. As they looked at the first one, María mumbled in disbelief, frowning. "It's negative… How?" She was so certain she was pregnant that she was having a hard time reconciling that conviction with the single pink line result she was holding in her hand.

"Here, take another one. Might be a false negative, happens all the time," Billy said handing her the next box in the bag.

In that moment the thought that Billy seemed to be somehow familiar with all this procedure crossed her mind, but she was too confused to process it.

As the next three tests came back negative as well, instead of relief and joy she was starting to feel something completely different. "Should I feel relieved? Because I don't think I feel that way…" she finally asked Billy as she threw the last test on the trash can in the bathroom and came back into the room, sitting on the foot of the bed beside him.

"How you feel?" he softly inquired placing his right arm around her shoulders and bringing her close to him.

"I don't know, but certainly not relieved. Don't know. Confused? Sad? Maybe... even… disappointed?" she muttered against his chest while she closed her eyes. How could she be disappointed? It had only been a few hours since she had told Billy she was afraid she was pregnant, while she was trying to keep her tears at bay. The possibility of having a child had scared her for a week now, how could she be sad for not being pregnant all of a sudden? "_I must be really sick_," she thought to herself trying to find a reason for her confused feelings.

"M, we'll have kids, I'm sure about that. There's nothing wrong in waiting for the best timing and doing other things in the meanwhile…" Billy elaborated, sensing her current confusion.

"Like what?" María asked again, visibly sad.

"Your golf pro career, for example, if that's what you want…" he answer, caressing her back.

"Billy, I really don't know if I want that anymore… For the last week I've thought I was starting a family with you right away, and I think I've come to like the idea…" she sighed, her face still hidden in his chest.

"Hey, you're just confused and tired. You'll see, everything will go back to normal. You've just gone through a scaring experience and you're sick, so…" he said in a soft voice, tracing small circles on her back.

"It's not your first time, is it?" she interrupted him.

"What?"

"Not your first pregnancy scare…" María muttered, barely audible, her head still resting on his chest.

This time it was Billy the one who sighed. Circumstances had been so much different back then that he had not considered sharing it with María. But he had never thought that his previous experience would upset her, either.

"No. You wanna know about it?" he finally said holding her tighter.

"Will it make me feel better?" she inquired. There it was again, that upsetting feeling that he was much more experienced in life than she was that always made her feel like a little girl beside him. She had not felt it for a very long time and she had never told him how it made her feel, but there it was again. But this time maybe it was worth it if it could help her in any way.

"Honestly, M, don't think so. Things were completely different then, and we were so scared…" he explained tilting his head to rest his gaze on her.

"I'm sorry, Billy, didn't mean to pry… it's just that… I don't know…. Every time I realize that you're more experienced in life it makes me feel so… I don't know,… like a little girl who'll never grow enough to match you…" María tried to explain while she hid her face in his chest again.

"Hey, you never told me that…" Billy uttered shifting his body so he could lock eyes with her again.

"Yeah, not really proud of that feeling… Plus though it was quite regular when we first got together, it hasn't been there for a long, long time…" she shrugged holding his gaze.

"M, I'm more than seven years your senior, and my life hasn't exactly been a path strewn with roses… I'd gladly forego most the experiences I've had…" he trailed off. She knew first hand that his life had not been easy at all.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that…" María offered placing her hand on his cheek.

"Hey, I'm happy now, happier than I ever thought I'd be, thanks to you, so forget about all those thoughts, will you?" Billy said resting his hand on hers.

"I will…" she nodded.

"M, you've definitely got a fever, you should see a doctor asap…" he exclaimed feeling her hot hand on his skin.

"I know. Will you come with me tomorrow morning?" she asked in a low voice.

"Of course. You sure you don't wanna go now?" Billy was no doctor, but there was obviously something wrong with her, and he thought that the sooner she saw a doc, the better.

But María shook her head. After all those days of feeling sick and worried about being late, the only thing she wanted was to sleep in Billy's arms for a few hours and she was not going to miss the opportunity to do so. "No, I just wanna be with you for the night."

"Okay, but if you feel worse, you tell me."

"Will do," she said closing her eyes again and leaning against his body. "Could you please hand me over one t-shirt from my bag? I think I'm too exhausted to get up for it…"

The following morning María ended up in a box of the ER of the Dell Seton Medical Center at the University of Texas, hooked to an IV full of fluids. The team doctor had been afraid that dehydration could worsen her current condition and had decided to admit her into hospital while several tests were being run. After three hours they had all the results and she was diagnosed with a severe viral gastroenteritis. Apparently she had not healed completely from the stomach bug most of the team had suffered some weeks ago, and the virus had come back full force during the last ten days.

Billy was only allowed to join her in the box in the ER for five minutes every two hours, and as soon as he was told by the doctors that María was doing much better and that she would be discharged that evening, he went to the dorms to look for Bradley. It was lunchtime and he found him heading for the cafeteria.

During the time María had been in the ER box Billy had thought about it long and hard. Of course he had no intention to go back home while she was in hospital, but doctors were optimistic once she was on fluids and as soon as she would be discharged he should head for Dillon. No doubt he would rather stay with her for a few days, yet unfortunately that was out of the question if it was not a matter of life and death. He had now two employees working for him and the good progress of his business was not just about him anymore, as he felt responsible for them. Who would have guessed it just two years ago, when he was not able to hold a job for more than two months.

And as much as Billy disliked it, it was undeniable that María would be recovering from a pretty severe gastroenteritis on her own, living in a dorm room and dealing with the stress for the final exams at the same time. She had insisted on not telling her parents unless it was strictly necessary, and he wanted to respect her wishes, yet the image of her recovering by herself did not sit well on him at all.

Of course she had a roomie, Annie, but Billy had not met her. He was not very good at reading people, but from bits and pieces María had shared with him about her roommate, he was not sure if she was the right person to take care of María in a time like this.

And of course there was Tyra. Despite what Mindy's sister thought of him, and the way she had not hesitated to let him know about it, storming into the garage and confronting him the day she found out he had broken their engagement, Billy did trust her to take good care of María. He found her to be caring, resourceful and brave, he had to give Tyra that. And he would not mind reaching out to her and asking for her help, no matter how bitter her reply would be, because María came first, and he was sure that she would actually help María.

But Tyra lived off campus and, according to María, she had seemed to be keeping her distance in some way lately. There was no chance she would be able to keep a close eye on María if they only shared one class and her studio was almost three miles away from María's dorm.

So his only good option was Bradley, hard as his caveman and thus jealous side might hate the thought of resorting to him to look after María. Billy kept saying to himself that she was worth it, and he could not deny the fact that he knew deep down that nobody would take better care of her than Bradley. Billy had not lied to María when he had told her that Bradley was a good guy, but he was well aware of his feelings for her and he could not help a pang of jealousy at the thought of Bradley and María being close.

The minute Bradley saw Billy coming his way he knew something was up with María. He had not seen her since the previous afternoon, when he had left her in front of their dorm building after spending most of the day driving around the Mt. Bonnell area with the windows rolled down. She had enjoyed the drive and fresh air seemed to have a good effect on her. They had had lunch in a quiet diner, María just picking at her food, and on their way back Bradley had gotten behind the wheel and pulled over by a store where he bought four pregnancy tests. "Here you go," he had said handing the brown paper bag to her as she was hopping out his SUV once they had reached the parking lot in front of their dorms. "Call Billy and good luck," he had added. "Will do. Thanks Bradley," she had replied, taking the bag and quickly leaning in and kissing his cheek before turning around and opening the passenger door.

As he had feared the day before, spending some time with María out of their college routine had taken a toll on Bradley. Only a few hours had gone by since they had spent the day together but he already knew it had stirred up his feelings for her. And that was the last thing he needed right now. For the first time in months, even years, he was in a good place emotionally speaking. He had started dating Laura again at the end of the summer, this time long distance as she was at Rice University, and he was genuinely happy. He had finally been able to forgive her cheating with one of his football teammates the summer before their senior year in high school and they had somehow managed to start fresh. He had been driving to Houston on weekends every two or three weeks, depending on their college schedule, and he was actually excited about the perspective of spending the summer together in Dillon. Until María had unwillingly and unknowingly turned his world upside down. It was all brand new and he had not had the time to come to terms with it, but he was determined to stop it, whatever it was, and go back to the point he was just the day before. María was off-limits and Laura loved him. He had been doing well lately based on those two assumptions, and nothing had changed in that regard.

"Hey Cole. How're you, man?" Billy shook his hand.

"Well. How's María?" Bradley quickly asked.

"She's better now, getting some fluids in the Dell Seton Medical Center ER. Viral gastroenteritis. She'll be released this evening once she's rehydrated," Billy explained.

"I'm glad to hear that…" Bradley said, relieved to know that she was in good hands. And also relieved to know she was not pregnant with Billy's child. He pushed that last thought to the back of his mind.

"Listen, I have to get back to her, but I just wanted to thank you. She said you helped her yesterday and convinced her to call me. I really appreciate it Cole…" Billy thanked him. María had told him how Bradley had come to her rescue, asking her what was wrong and insisting when she would not give him an answer, spending some time outdoors and convincing her to call Billy and tell him.

"Anytime Riggs. I'm glad she's feeling better," Bradley repeated.

"Yeah. Listen, can I ask you a favor?" Billy asked scratching the back of his neck.

"Sure…" Bradley responded.

"She'll be on treatment for ten days, and she'll have to go in for follow ups. Would you go with her, please? See that she's doing okay? I'd really appreciate if you could keep a close eye on her… I know it's a lot to ask but…" Billy explained, trying not to think how he would feel himself if he was asked to take care of the girl he was in love with by her boyfriend.

Bradley nodded. "Of course, man... Anything for her…"

"Thanks Cole, thank you so much," Billy said extending his hand and shaking again.

As expected, María's state of health noticeably improved with the fluids and meds and she was discharged that evening. Billy drove her to her dorm, now mostly empty as everyone was in practice or at the library, and he left for Dillon once he made sure she was settled in her room.

"Now, you be a good girl, take all you meds and go to all your follow ups, okay? I'll be here to take you home in four weeks," he whispered in her ear as he hugged her good-bye.

"Will do, Billy, I promise. Thanks for everything," María thanked him kissing his cheek. If she were to find something good in this whole viral gastroenteritis ordeal, it was certainly that it had unexpectedly brought Billy to spend a few hours with her and she now felt closer to him that before, if that was even possible. She could not fail to see that he had jumped in his truck and drove non-stop to Austin the second she had told him she thought she might be pregnant and had not left her side until he was certain she was on her way to recovery. She really wished he could stay a little longer but she was well aware that he had his business to run at home. So she decided not to whine about it. After all, she would be home in four weeks.

"My pleasure. I love you, M," he responded. They had not talked again about the way she felt after they found out there was no baby on the way. Billy had considered bringing it up before going home, but she was really looking better now and the last thing he wanted to do was to upset her.

"Love you too." Purple circles were still visible under her eyes and she yet had to gain all the weight she had lost during the last week, but color was back on her face and her green eyes sparkled again. She had also considered mentioning how she felt about the "no baby", but she was not sure she would be able to tell him with no tears, and the last thing she wanted was to upset him right before driving on his own for more than five hours. Summer break was just around the corner, and they would have plenty of time to talk about it.

The collegiate golf season was over for her. The team doctor had been adamant about that. But despite not being able to take part in the last tournament with UT, her stats in her sophomore year were again outstanding. She had eight tournament wins in ten events she entered and set an NCAA record with seven consecutive victories in her first seven events. She also won the Golfstat Cup, which is given to the player who has the best scoring average versus par with at least twenty full rounds played during a season. She had already set the single-season NCAA scoring average record as a freshman and she beat her own record the next year by just over a stroke per round. And she still had two more years to play collegiate golf with UT.

Once more, she had been invited to the ShopRite LPGA Classic in early June, but unfortunately she had to decline. By then she would be just recovered from her viral gastroenteritis, and doctors advised that she might need a little more time to resume her usual sport practice in order to prevent a possible relapse.

"Don't worry, McGill. This isn't gonna change your records and your stats. They'll call on your door again, and I bet you're gonna get offers to turn pro again during the summer, even not taking part in the ShopRite Classic. But you have to take care of yourself. Your health comes first, don't rush anything," Coach Harris had told her when she informed him about the doctors' advice. "_The sky is the limit_," he said to himself whenever he thought about her golf career prospects, and a bad gastroenteritis was not going to steering her off course.

With the golf season over for her, during those last four weeks of the semester María had time to focus on her full recovery and her finals, and, true to his word, Bradley was by her side all the way, studying, going with her to all her medical follow ups, encouraging her to resume writing long emails to all her friends now that she had more time (which she gladly did), and simply spending together all their spare time. Still trying to cope with how she was feeling after the pregnancy scare, and not willing to talk about it over the phone with Billy (a decision she would end up regretting eventually), María did not give a second thought about how close she and Bradley were becoming again, while he kept saying to himself that he was just honoring his promise to take good care of her.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Date: Monday May 10th 2010

From: Tami Taylor

To: María McGill

Subject: Re: Hi Tami

Dear María,

So great to hear from you, girl! I'm sorry if I've been neglecting you in terms of email communication lately, but life here has been hectic with all the arrangements for the move to Pennsylvania in two months time. God, I don't wanna imagine how those eight weeks will be…

But, first of all, God Lord María! Viral gastroenteritis! And rushed into the ER, no less. I still think you should tell your parents about it, honey. I know you're well now and all, but please tell me you will once you're home.

We were house hunting in Pennsylvania during spring break. So expensive! I'm afraid there's no way we can afford living near Braemore College, so we'll have to commute, and I think Eric isn't too happy about that. It's not that he's said anything, but I know he's used to living in Dillon where everything is close by… And we will have to resort to rent instead of buying, at least during the first year. We'd like to get to know our new jobs and the surroundings before we make a big commitment house wise. But I've to admit that allows as to keep our house in Dillon (we'll rent it out to help pay the rent in Pennsylvania) and I kind of like that. As Eric has been telling me lately, are from Texas and all our family and friends are here, so it'll be nice not to sever all ties with Dillon. Who knows… maybe our new jobs turn out to be not as fulfilling as we hope them to be… In that case it'd nice to have a place to call home and to be able to come back to it.

I hope I don't sound too nervous about the adventure we're about to embark in, because I'm really excited. Being the Dean of Admissions at Braemore is a one lifetime opportunity, and I'm sure Eric is gonna do great with the Pioneers. He's always said that he could coach football anywhere. And I know he's gonna do it great. No doubt about that. Plus I think he'll actually enjoy a break from the Dillon football atmosphere: the pressure, the boosters,… Good Lord! I know your dad deals with it every year, and I really admire him for that, but I do think a change of pace will be good for Coach Taylor.

By the way, speaking of football, I'm so happy Billy's keeping his spot in the new super Dillon team… And Eric keeps saying that he sees him very focused, even thinks he'd make a good head coach in a few years. So you'd be Mrs Coach, how does that sound, sweetie? I don't wanna pry, but y'all have plans for the future, am I right? It's just that you didn't mention him in your last email as much as you used to do. Y'all doing well? I know firsthand how difficult long-distance relationships can be. Communication is always an important issue, but much more when you live hundreds of miles apart. If that's the case, y'all have the summer to work it out. I know I've said it before, you know I'm just an email and phone call away, right? And I'll be just two streets from your house once you come home for summer break. I'm here if you want to talk.

Gracie just woke up from her nap and I'm afraid she will start whining in a few minutes to get my attention. Take care girl, and good luck with your finals (although I'm sure you're gonna ace them!

See you soon,

Tami

Date: Friday May 14th 2010

From: Julie Taylor

To: María McGill

Subject: Re: Hey Julie

Hey María!

Thanks for writing! I've got to confess I'm a little bit lazy to do it while studying and taking exams so really appreciate it!

Sorry to hear about your gastroenteritis, sounds awful. Hope you can resume golfing soon. That reminds me, my parents told me you broke all records again on your sophomore year, even not playing the last events! Congrats, girl!

No news on this side, really. Studying, studying, studying, that's pretty much it. I'm sure it sounds familiar to you... I'm happy though, love all my classes and actually like what I'm studying. And I stayed in campus for spring break, so I'm not too overwhelmed by the finals. My parents and Gracie were going to Pennsylvania house hunting and all that and I preferred to stay here so I can go home as soon as possible once I've finished all my exams.

Home... I never thought I'd think of Dillon as home, but here I am... It's gonna be really weird to go "home" to the East Coast for Thanksgiving in a few months. Can't believe I'll actually miss Dillon!

To answer your question, I haven't seen or heard of Matt since he asked me to go Chicago with him last summer, when he showed up out of the blue. I think he didn't take it well when I said I wasn't going. Honestly, I don't care anymore… I've been seen someone long distance since last summer. It's something totally crazy that we're keeping under wraps because: 1) we hardly have anything in common, 2) we don't know if it's going to last once we see each other more often. And, truth to be told, I don't know how my parents would take it. He's a great guy but has a reputation... anyway, I don't mean to seem mysterious to you, but we agreed not to tell anybody until we, well, really until I tell my folks.

But I know you're a very smart girl and already know who I'm talking about. What can I say... he drives me crazy doesn't start to cover it, but I'm terrified at the same time. Time'll tell...

Well, I've got to go now. Take care and see you in Dillon in three weeks. Can't wait!

Julie

P.S. For once Billy's not the main subject in your email. Should I be worried? Oh, let me rephrase that, should he be worried?

Tami, Julie, Tim and Miles (in that specific order) were the recipients of the first emails she wrote the week after her hospitalization. Tami and Julie replied right away, and phoned her every week since then to find out how she was doing, but she never heard back from Tim, who, to be fair, had called her the night she was just out of the hospital. Miles sent her a bunch of encouraging texts and finally called her when she did not text him back once she felt they sounded too impersonal, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere even on the phone. "_Definitely, it's never gonna be the same,_" she thought to herself when she hung up, remembering with nostalgia how close Jack, Alan, Miles, Tim and herself had once been.

As usual, she spoke on the phone with Billy on a daily basis, even twice or three times a day on the weekends. She anxiously expected those calls all day, only to end up frustrated after them. She was trying to cope with the way she was feeling after her pregnancy scare, and she was having a hard time trying to come to understand it. Her recovering body from the gastroenteritis was not helping either, as she felt tired and apathetic most of the time, and as much as she tried to tell Billy how she was feeling every time they spoke on the phone, she never actually did it, too afraid that it would release all her bottled up emotions.

Instead of that, she opened up with Bradley one Saturday he took her for a drive to the countryside. It had already been nine days since she had come back from the hospital ER, and she was starting to gain some weight again, but she clearly needed fresh air and spending time outdoors as her doctor had pointed out the previous day during her second follow up, to which Bradley went with her. She had spent most of the last week in her small dorm room, studying, writing, sleeping and watching movies with Bradley, both sitting on her twin bed, and that morning he had surprised her with an outdoor plan. "You'll feel better after it María," he had assured her to convince her, "and if I've to drag you out of this room, you know I will," he had added.

But she was not in a fighting mood and there was no need to resort to the use of force. After a short drive they were quietly sitting on a bench overlooking Lake Travis near Hudson Bend when María suddenly turned to Bradley and started talking without further ado.

"I don't understand why I feel this way..." she softly muttered, barely audible, looking at the lake and wishing she felt well enough to go for a swim. For someone who loved swimming as much as she did, it was like torture to be close to the lake on a warm sunny May morning and not being able to get in the water. But today she did not mind too much.

"María, you've just gone through a pretty severe viral gastroenteritis, it's only natural you feel tired and weak..." he softly said, his gaze resting on the farther shore of the lake behind his sunglasses. It was one of his favorite locations, and he usually said that he would love to be able to afford living in that area. For the time being he would have to make do with spending the day at the lake.

María shook her head. "I get that...that's not what I mean...' she trailed off.

"Then, what you mean?" he asked turning to face her, his dreams of owning a property there momentarily forgotten . She was not wearing sunglasses and she looked sad when she locked eyes with him.

She shrugged. "Why do I feel so miserable if it wasn't planned at all?"

Bradley chuckled. "María, no illness is usually planned..."

"No, you don't understand. I didn't plan on having kids before graduating yet I feel kinda ... void now... Why?" she explained, still holding his gaze.

Bradley sighed. He was not prepared by any means for this kind of conversation. He had spent the last days trying to keep his feelings for María at bay while he was by her side helping her in every way he could, and a conversation of sorts would not help at all. "María, I think you should talk about this with Billy, not me..."

María shook her head again. "I can't, I just can't, I've tried but I can't..."

That did not add up at all with the kind of relationship Bradley knew María and Billy had. "Why? What's he saying?" he curiously inquired, not realizing that it was the first step towards the conversation he was trying to avoid.

"Nothing, it's not him. It's me, Bradley. I can't bring it up on the phone, just like another topic..." she whispered feeling how her eyes were tearing up. In a desperate attempt to keep her tears at bay, she broke eye contact with him and looked back at the lake, wishing she had her shades with her. She had left them in the globe box of Bradley's SUV, and she felt too weak to walk all the way to the parking lot only to get them.

Bradley noticed her bright eyes, but chose to ignore them for the time being. "Well, try harder..." His words came out a little harsh, and he regretted them immediately.

But María was too worried to feel upset by his tone. "I've tried, I really have, every day... and I just can't. But I need to talk to someone about it, otherwise I'm gonna..." she trailed off looking at him again.

Bradley suppressed the urge to raise his hands. That was the last thing he needed now, an intimate chat with María. He was proud of how he was being able to be there for her while keeping his feelings in check, and he did not wish to jeopardize that. "Well, I'm sure you can talk to Tyra, or Annie..." It was the best excuse that came to his mind at the time, but as soon as he blurted it out he knew it was a really poor one, given the kind of help she was asking for.

María snorted, too absorbed by her own feelings to stop to consider his. "Come on, Bradley, I may be sick and a little off-balanced, but I'm not stupid... there's no way I can share this with either of them..."

"María, we shouldn't go down that road. I think we're close enough now as it is... that's..." he tried to explain, not willing to fully address the elephant in the room either. He hoped María would register his concern without any further explanation.

María did, sighing. He was right about that, his feelings should be considered too. "I know, Bradley, I really know this is too much to ask... but... can we make a deal just for two weeks, till we go back home?" She did not like to have to ask for something like this, but she knew he was a reasonable and generous person and she really felt that she needed help to deal with this.

"Shoot..." he hesitated. At this point, seeing her so upset and worried, he was certain he was going to agree, and he just wished it would be nothing too crazy. It was a bit discouraging to find out that she still had a strong pull on him, no matter how hard he had tried to keep his distance for the last year and a half since they were in college. He had even gone back to Laura, something he thought he would never do, hoping to be able to rebuild their former relationship after all the pain it had cost him when they broke up.

"Can we pretend just for the next two weeks, just for the purpose of talking, that you're Billy and I'm Laura?" María asked quietly without as much as batting an eyelid. It even surprised her how naturally she had posed the question given what she was asking for.

"What?" Bradley responded. Well, definitely that sounded crazy. Plus quite dangerous.

María did not want him to panic. Not now that she could see that he was about to give in. "No, not in every way. Just, I'd be able to talk to you like if you were Billy and you could talk to me like if I were Laura? No red lines? Just until we go home for summer break. Then you'll be back to Laura and I'd be back to Billy, and hopefully this nightmare will be behind me," she elaborated. "Does it sound too selfish?" she added, noticing his conflicting emotions showing on his face.

"Are you really sure about this?" Bradley inquired. At this stage, his only hope was that she would backpedal. He was not a religious guy, but he was really feeling the need to pray for a miracle in the form of backpedaling.

"Yeah, we won't hurt Laura, we won't hurt Billy. It's just talking, Bradley..." Apparently, she was far from it. As a matter of fact, she was insisting on it.

"But you do realize that sometimes talking can be at least as intimate as sex, don't you?" he dared to ask hoping for a hail mary. If that did not stop her, he had no idea what would.

María nodded. "I do, but not in this case," she replied confidently, crashing his last hope.

Bradley nervously chuckled. "Because..."

"You love Laura and I love Billy, and both of us know that. There's no risk to be mistaken or mix things up," she stated matter-of-factly.

"What if I can't do it?" One of her assumptions was not accurate by a long shot. It had never crossed his mind that María thought that he actually loved Laura, knowing firsthand, like she did, their story. But now it was clear to him that María thought he was in love with Laura because in her head there was no other way he could be seeing her again given their prior story unless he had come to love Laura. And he felt really bad when he realized it, because María always thought highly of him, no matter what.

"I'd understand, I really would, Bradley. All I'm asking is to give it a try before visiting the team shrink, which I really don't want to do but I know I should…" she explained feeling a lump in her throat and blinking to avoid tears escaping her welled eyes.

"That bad, uh?" Bradley asked, feeling how he was slowly coming to terms with the idea no matter how crazy it seemed.

"Yeah..." she replied placing her feet on the bench and embracing her knees, and diverting her gaze from his eyes trying to hide her tears.

"Okay. Let's give it a try... I hope you're right and we can handle it properly... Deal..." he finally surrendered, stretching out his hand.

"Deal..." she said shaking hands with him, and quickly wiping her tear stained cheeks.

"Okay, let's do it... Start talking..." If they were doing this because she really needed it, they better start right away. "_The sooner the better_," he thought bracing himself for impact.

"What? Now?" she asked, confused and surprised, setting her feet on the floor again and sitting facing him. The bargain of the deal had already made her feel better, knowing that he was there for her whenever she needed to talk, and she had forgotten that she had started talking about it only a short while ago.

"Yeah, you brought it up like five minutes ago, and now we have a deal. No one is waiting on me today, Laura will be at a frat party and I won't call her until tomorrow... you have any plans?" he asked. Deep inside, he did welcome the distraction. He had not been exactly happy when Laura had told him she was going to a party that night. She was beautiful and brilliant, the kind of girl that unintentionally attracted the male attention. He liked to think that he was over her affair with one of his former teammates and he trusted her, but the less the thought about her at that party, the better.

"None, Billy had a work thing in Midland today... Spoke to him early this morning, won't be calling him till tomorrow..."

"So I guess we're not in a hurry to go back until your curfew." She was cleared from practice and training for the rest of the semester due to her current state of health, but as a part of the UT golf team she still had to comply with the rest of the rules. "So, tell me how you're feeling... Laura..." Bradley intently said emphasizing the name 'Laura' and raising his eyebrows.

"Really?" María asked, amused, truly smiling for the first time in days.

"Hey, you're the one who proposed this deal... I'm just trying to adjust to my part here..." Bradley replied, happy to see a smile on her face. This crazy deal could turn out to be a good thing if she was felling better already.

"Okay,.."

And she told Bradley how she felt that this whole ordeal had first brought her closer to Billy ("he came the minute I called him", "I knew he'd do that, he's a good guy"), to only make them grow apart once as days went by and she felt totally incapable of telling him how she was feeling.

She added that she had never thought about having kids before graduating, but somewhere along the way she had come to terms with the idea and even like it. To an extend she suddenly felt that there was no purpose in working hard on her golf if all she wanted was to go home and start a family after her senior year in college."But doesn't he feel the same way? He said it was good news, but he never mentioned it again after those tests came back negative…"

"But I thought you've always wanted to be a golf pro…" Bradley said, confused, deliberately dodging her last comment about Billy's feelings. He should not go there and honestly, he had never imagined she was harboring all these ideas about going home, starting a family and forgetting about her dream. He just thought she was in a low mood because she was recovering from her illness.

"Yeah, that's always been my dream, and I've done all this –being away from home, Florida, collegiate golf- to get there…" she said lowering her gaze to her joined hands on her lap. "But then when I made my debut in the LPGA last year, it was kind of crazy, and I didn't know if I wanted to be part of that after college…. And for a while there I was happy thinking a baby was on the way… I'd figured out everything during the five hours that took Billy to get here, you know? I'd manage to graduate somehow while raising him or her… Of course I'd have to give up my golf scholarship and the UT golf team, but however incredible it might seem I was happy to do that… But suddenly I found myself with no baby on the way and hooked to an IV line in a hospital… Every time I seem to figure out what I really want something happens and I'm kind of lost again... Does all that make any sense?" she finally asked looking up at him again.

"Of course it does, María," he stated, momentarily forgetting about their deal and calling her by her name. She had no idea how hard it was for him to call her 'Laura'.

"Then, why do I feel so bad?" she inquired while tears slid down her face.

"Because you haven't had time to recover yet, and you're are constantly under a lot of pressure…" he trailed off. After few seconds seeing her cry silently, and ignoring all the alarm signs he was sensing, he scooted over the bench to be near her. "Come here," he ended up whispering opening his arms, and she immediately leant into his embrace, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes. "Everything is gonna be okay, you just need time…" Bradley added, his prior intent to keep her at arm's length now totally forgotten.

María and Bradley never talked about that time they spent on that bench overlooking Lake Travis, Bradley holding her and whispering comforting words, and María quietly crying on his chest, and, more importantly, what had happened between them when they were back in the SUV on their way to campus. Once they were back in their dorm, María convinced herself that she had not crossed any line, and Bradley did not want to pressure her about it and chose to bury it along with his feelings for her. Not for the first time since they had become close friends during the last weeks of their senior year in high school, they naturally went back to square one in terms of friendship after sharing an intimate moment. But this time they had gone much further than any of those previous occasions. The fact that they had to focus on their finals certainly did help, and they both pretended nothing had ever happened.

When all the classes had ended and the finals were over at last, it was finally time to go home. Bradley went to Houston to spend some much needed days with Laura before heading home. And due to a last hour order at the shop that Billy claimed he could not turn down, it was Tim who took a little detour on his way to Dillon from San Antonio and drove to Austin to pick up María.

As soon as he parked by her dorm, she hopped in his beloved old Chevy and waited for him to load her bags on the bed of the truck. Once he was in the vehicle, she briefly hugged him.

"Thanks for coming, Timmy, but I'm mad at you..." she said as she leant back and searched for the seat belt.

"What? Why?" Tim asked confused. That was not the welcome he was expecting from one of his best friends after six months of not seeing each other. He knew she had not been the best version of herself lately, but he had not expected her to be in a bad mood on the day she was going home for summer break. Least of all, mad at him.

"Why? Maybe because I haven't heard from you all these months..." she explained buckling in.

"Not true..." he muttered, while shifting the truck into gear and starting to drive through campus with one hand, as he grabbed and buckled the seatbelt with the other.

"Come on Timmy. Apart from your call when I was just out of the hospital, which I really appreciated by the way, I haven't heard from you since Christmas..." María elaborated.

"Think I remember a certain call on speaker in Billy's truck..." he said briefly diverting his gaze from the road to look at her and winking.

"Come on, Timmy, I'm serious," María complained feeling a fierce blush creeping on her cheeks.

"Must've been a hell of a shower..." he said smirking. Completely oblivious to the pregnancy scare she had been through a few weeks back, he was surprised when he noticed her frown. "Sorry," he quickly apologized.

"It's okay Tim," she replied looking out of the window and trying to think about something else. She still felt a pang of disappointment whenever she thought about that experience.

"Sorry for not keeping in touch. It's not an excuse, but that's how I am..., Mars..." he added shrugging, fixing his gaze on the road in front of them.

"Don't wanna change you, Timmy. But I wonder how you're managing in a long distance relationship then..." she said without thinking.

"Billy told you that?" he asked, surprised, turning his head to look at her again.

"Nobody told me, Timmy. I saw you and Jules together last summer, and she mentioned being in a long distance relationship, saying she was keeping it under wraps before telling Coach and Mrs Taylor... And Billy told me you've gone to Houston a couple of times... It all adds up..."

He sighed. "Mars, it's not that I don't trust you..."

"I know, Timmy, it's okay..."

"First it was unbelievable, it still is, and then I was terrified the Taylors'd find out..." he muttered, barely audible, still looking at the road while nervously searching for a country music station on the radio.

"I understand. But I'm sure they're gonna welcome you..." María said rolling down the window. It was hot already at 10 a.m. and they had five hours of drive ahead of them. She knew Tim loved that truck and he was determined to keep it until it literally broke down, but it was times like this when she wished he had changed it by now for another one with air conditioner.

"I don't really know about that, Mars." Tim was mainly worried about Coach Taylor's reaction. He thought that Mac McGill had been very generous with Billy dating his golden daughter and he wished Eric Taylor would react in the same way. And, over all, he wished Julie would not change her mind now that they would be seeing each other on a daily basis. "Answering your question, yes, Jules is mad at me most of the time for not being in touch as much as she'd like me to. But I'm working on it…" he added smirking.

They were in Dillon nearly five hours after leaving Austin, and knowing how eager Billy was to see Maria, he drove directly to their house. It was a Saturday afternoon and Billy would be at home. Strangely enough, María had not seemed so eager to see Billy, but Tim blamed it on stress. Although Billy had not told him about the pregnancy scare, he did know that she had gone through a rough end of the semester. Anyway, her eyes lit up the minute she saw Billy. Tim hoped Julie's eyes would light up the same way in a few hours.

Billy was relieved to see that María looked much better than the last time he had seen her right out of the hospital. Although she had not recovered all the weight she had lost due to her gastroenteritis, color was back on her face and her green eyes were bright and warm when she hopped out of Tim's old truck and jumped into Billy's arms, embracing him tightly.

"Hey, beautiful," he exclaimed holding her while she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Careful, you're dealing with an old man here,' he joked.

"Don't think so," she replied kissing his cheek and placing her feet back on the ground.

"I'm glad to see you looking much better than that last day in Austin," Billy muttered embracing her again as she rested her head on his chest, while Tim started unloading his bags from the bed of the truck.

María did not say anything and just nodded against Billy's new plaid shirt, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I've missed you, M," Billy whispered in her ear as Tim's amused voice could be heard in the background. "Hey lovebirds, I'll give you some privacy," he said as he carried his bags into the house and closed the door behind him, making a bee-line to the kitchen counter to take the cordless phone in order to call Julie and let her know he was already in Dillon.

Billy realized something was wrong when Tim was long gone into the house and María made no attempt to kiss him, keeping her tight hold of him and her face buried in his chest instead. She was not keen on PDA, even with just Tim around, but the two of them being alone after weeks apart and she not trying to kiss him was definitely a first.

He shifted his head to gently kiss her temple when he realized tears were running down her cheeks.

"Hey, M, it's okay, you're home now…" Billy mumbled. He had been concerned about her since he had left for Dillon when she was just discharged from the hospital ER, but she had kept saying that she was okay every time they spoke on the phone. Now he could see that these four weeks had really taken a toll on her, and he blamed himself for disregarding all the red flags. Yet he himself had gone through a rough time during those weeks, and he had been happy to hear her say that she was okay so there was no need to inquire further.

"I'm sorry Billy, I'm really sorry,…" she whispered back, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Nothing to be sorry for, M… I'm the one I should be apologizing for not being there for you all these weeks…"

When María heard him say that, she tilted her head and locked eyes with him, still hugging him. She was feeling awful as she knew she was about to hurt him deeply. She had not planned on telling him, certainly not the minute she had arrived home, but there was no way she could hide something like that from him. "No, you don't understand Billy, there's something I've got to tell you, and you're not gonna like it."


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

To her relief, Billy reacted to her revelation much better than María had anticipated. Maybe it was because the minute Billy had asked Bradley for his help with a recovering and vulnerable María he knew there was a slight chance something like that might happen, maybe because he felt somehow guilty for not being the "long distance shoulder" on which María could have cried during the last part of the semester. Probably a mix of the two of them, and, over all, his fear of losing María over something he should have been able to prevent or, at the very least, not to provoke. The truth was that Billy was willing to downplay it as he actually felt that he had failed her, and he deliberately ignored the fact that she had seek not only moral support but also physical comfort in someone else. Something he had never thought himself capable of doing given his deep feelings for María. She usually joked about him being a caveman, but his usually hidden jealousy was not only related to his peculiar personality, carved-stone during a hard childhood and adolescence, but mostly to the strong bond he had with her. A bond he was not willing to risk over a confused intent of hers that had remained just that, intent, thanks to Bradley. The more Billy knew about the guy, the more he liked him. Who would have guessed…

Time and mostly being home surrounded by family and friends helped María finally leave the events from the prior weeks behind her. Once in Dillon it was all a distant blur and she was back at the range in less than ten days. By the beginning of July she was already playing her best golf again. She would hit the course every day, and it was strange not to see her golfing with Billy if he could spare the time from the shop. Tim offered to go with her whenever his brother had a previous work commitment, and even Coach Taylor was her golf partner one sunny Saturday.

"Thank you for coming, Coach," María thanked him when they were approaching the tee of the first hole.

"My pleasure, María. Between you and me, you're a much better golf buddy than Buddy Garrity, no pun intended," he joked. Although Eric had been trying to get Tami to play for years, she always claimed that golf bored her, and since they had moved back to Dillon five years ago, the Panthers booster had been his usual golf partner, both of them usually hitting the bar long before finishing their round. "I wonder why y'all even bother to go the club and pay for the green fee, sugar, there's plenty of bars around," Tami teased him whenever he would come home after one of their regular Saturday afternoon rounds. Eric presumed that there would be no bar nor beers with María, and he found himself quite excited by the perspective of actually playing golf, and with a collegiate star no less.

"I really appreciate it, you know… I spend most of the time golfing with my teammates and it's difficult to focus on my own…" she elaborated.

"No, thank you María, for wanting to golf with me. Most good players don't like to share the course with lame amateurs like me… My golf is far from good…" Coach Taylor trailed off.

"I've seen you golf, Coach…You're a good amateur…"

"Well, no need to butter up… I'm gonna play 18 holes with you anyway. And by the way it's Eric here María…" he chuckled while he placed his bag on the ground and searched for his driver club.

"Okay, thanks Eric…" she said choosing a 5-iron club to tee off, while Eric looked at her astonished. He had chosen his driver club knowing beforehand that he was not hitting the ball anywhere near the green, and there she was all confident with a 5-iron.

María's golf level surprised Eric. Not that he had ever seen her golf before. He had watched her on television the previous year, when she had taken part in her first LPGA tournament, and he had truly admired her golf then, but seeing her play in person was really impressive. She mastered all shots, her short game was outstanding and she was able to deal with any kind of contingency on the course.

"I've gotta say I'm impressed, María, that putt was unbelievable. And not just that putt..." he praised her right after she had scored her ninth birdie after only twelve holes, thanks to a long putt from the crown of the tricky green, which sat right to left and fell back to front.

"Thanks. It's nice to see the hard work it reflect on my game. I bet your football game was outstanding when you were in college…" María complimented him back.

Eric shook his head and laughed, taking off his golf cap to run his hand through is thick dark hair, his other hand on his hip. "I was good alright, but never this good, María…"

"My dad says that you would've definitely made it to the NFL if it wasn't for your injury, so I guess you were that good…" she insisted, stressing the words 'that good'.

"Nah, that's kind of him, but…" Eric said putting his cap back on and getting ready for the next tee.

"You ever think about it? How your life would've been had you made it to the NFL?" María curiously asked. Eric Taylor and the NFL career he almost achieved had been a recurring conversation topic in María's house while she was growing up and Eric started to shine as a high school football coach. She had always wondered what his real take on it was, and if he still thought about it.

"Frankly? Sometimes… I mean, I didn't for a long time. First, because it hurt too much. Then, because I was too busy providing for my family, trying to make my way up in the world of high school football coaching while teaching to make a decent salary and Tami stayed home raising Julie. But since we decided to move to the East Coast I've been thinking about it, how lucky we've been for living in Texas all these years… I guess it would've been completely different if I played for the NFL …" he explained.

María nodded. "Yeah, I understand, being a golf pro has always been my dream, but I don't really like some of the things it entails, you know, being very seldom at home, travelling all the time, not to speak of the highly competitive atmosphere in tournaments…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, I guess those are downsides of it. But you'd be able to make a living, a very good one I'd say, playing your favorite sport, and that's huge for an athlete María …" Eric stated, nostalgically remembering how free and powerful he had felt every time he had played football in high school and college, even when they did not win. He had never felt anything like that off the field, not even coaching or winning State.

"I know… sometimes you just see the ugly part…" María added, shrugging. While most golfers commonly define their first tournaments in the pro circuit like a life-altering experience, her first LPGA appearance had almost been a deal breaker for her, and although she had been able to put that first impression into context and therefore reassess it during her outstanding sophomore year in college, her last hard weeks in Austin had brought back all her doubts about her future, leaving her with a heavy feeling of uncertainty.

"Come on, I'm sure Billy'd move with you wherever you end up living…" Eric joked. María had not mentioned Billy at all, but he was well aware that they had been in a long distance relationship for some time now and it seemed to be a serious one. Eric had never seen Billy so focused before, and he was well aware María had played a key part in it. It was not unreasonable to guess that they had plans for the future.

"I don't know, maybe that's not fair…" That had been a frequent though since she had come home for summer break. Once in Dillon María been able to see how well Billy was doing in his business and while being really proud of him, she had started to think that when the time came he might be reluctant to leave his home town or, at least, it would be not fair for him after working so hard. It never crossed her mind the possibility that she might be just making excuses in order to justify a decision of her own about her future. And of course she was not counting on the fact that Billy would follow her lead anywhere, business or no business.

"Not fair for him? Come on, María, I bet he'd be willing to follow you everywhere…" Eric chuckled.

"I know, but that'd mean giving up his life here, his business, his assistant coach position with the new Super Panthers team… " Billy had been over the moon when he had found out that he was keeping his football coaching job. With the decision to close the East Dillon football program speculation had run wild on two fronts, but finally he had made it to the Super Team. Coach Taylor would no longer be there and he had been the reason Billy had applied for the job in the first place, but María knew how eager he was to be working with Mac and how much he liked coaching.

Seeing her hesitation over such an important matter, Eric placed his driver club back in his bag and tried to have all her attention. The next tee could wait for a few minutes. "Just listen to me, María. I once told Billy to consider me your father till he told Mac he was dating you. So please take this as a word of advice from someone you could call family. I hear what you're saying, I really do, but don't risk your future over a relationship, not when you're just twenty, if I'm not mistaken, and you've got a brilliant future ahead of you. Boyfriends come and go, kid, and you'll have plenty of time to be in Dillon afterwards if that's what you want to do, but please don't miss the opportunity of living something unique. Something extraordinary. Just… don't shut any doors beforehand. Am I making myself understood?"

María gulped and nodded. "You are,… thanks Eric," she said, quickly turning to her golf bag and feigning being focused on her choice of the right club for the next tee. She had heard multiple stories about Coach Taylor speeches and the deep impact they had always had on his former and current players. She had even been in the locker room in Austin there when listening to Coach Taylor after the State game they lost against the undefeated South Texas Titans. But she had never been the direct objet of his words until now. And she felt a mixture of emotions as she walked to the next tee, club and ball in hand, but mostly gratitude.

Later that night the Taylors were snuggling on the couch watching television. They were enjoying some quiet time together after Gracie had finally fallen asleep while Julie was at the movies, supposedly with some friends. Tim and she had not gone public so far, as she kept delaying it. "I wanna tell my parents first, Tim, and it's like kinda hard to find a good time with the move and all that… I just have to find a quiet moment..." she explained every time Tim would shyly bring it up. Pushing her was the last thing he intended, but he was starting to feel like if he were some dark, dirty secret she wanted to keep in a closet. He had already gone down that road before with Lyla, and he had not come this far to end up like that again, head over heels over a girl who thought that he was not good enough to be seen with.

"Hon, how'd it go with María at the club?" Tami suddenly asked out of the blue as she reached for her glass of wine. She had been busy all day putting most of their books and clothes in boxes for the upcoming move, while Gracie Bell kept taking everything out of the boxes, and she was really enjoying the quietness.

Eric looked at his wife and then back to the screen. Playing with María he had realized his golf was worse than it used to be, as a result of going to the club bar with Buddy instead of completing their rounds for a few years. He had not hit the range lately, either. He was not too happy about it, so his pride had prevented him from sharing it with Tami since he had arrived home earlier. "Good, she showed me a trick or two," he drawled grudgingly.

"She's good, isn't she?" Tami asked while she took a sip of white wine.

"Better than good," Eric nodded, his gaze still fixed on the screen, hoping Tami would not dig in his actual game.

"What? That bad, hon?" Tami innocently asked, placing her glass on the coffee table again and looking at him while doing so.

Eric sighed and turned off the television, diverting his full attention to his wife. Apparently she was not dropping it. "Yeah, never seen someone golf like that, and mine's, let's say, worse than it used to be…"

"Oh, honey, that's so sweet…" she said, purposely ignoring the last part of his line.

"Yeah. Listen babe, you think Billy and María have any chance? You know, with the long distance thing?" Eric bluntly asked to change the topic, standing up from the couch and sidestepping a few open boxes to get the wine bottle off the counter. It was not the first time they were moving, but it all seemed more complicated with a toddler messing around.

"I think they might…" Tami sighed while he poured her another glass of wine. "Thanks, hon. I mean, look at us..."

Eric chuckled. "Us? I've told you before, babe, as great as you were, and still are, you were no María McGill..." he said bringing her closer and kissing her forehead.

She laughed resting her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, I know. And I know you're not Billy Riggins, either…"

"No, I mean no disrespect…" It was not the first time they had a conversation about Mac's daughter and his assistant coach with the East Dillon Lions, and their long distance relationship prospects. He tilted his head to look at her. "That girl's going places. Look at her stats and records, best female freshman and sophomore collegiate golf player ever! She's already played a LPGA tournament, and will be playing more soon… I mean, Billy Riggins fits in all that? Long distance? Forever? Come on, Tami, mark my words here, she's probably never coming back to live in Dillon..."

Tami sighed again. She should agree with Eric on that, their prospects were not good, nor realistic, and they were not getting any better as time went by. "They're in love, Eric. Don't underestimate the power of love…" she whispered.

Eric was still shaking his head. "Sounds like a country song… But this's serious, Tami, I think she's not gonna pursue going pro in order to be with him… mentioned something about not being fair to him to move when she finishes college,… She's gonna throw everything out the window just to live with Billy… " he elaborated.

"Maybe that's what she really wants, hon," she muttered. "You thought about that?"

Eric shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well, that'd make it even worse, don't you think? Anyway, I told her that boyfriends come and go and she shouldn't risk her future over a relationship …" he explained in his coach voice.

"Good Lord Eric!" Tami exclaimed. "Don't tell me you used your speech tone for that…"

"What? We've got two daughters, Tami. You'd like any of them to miss a lifetime opportunity over a guy? And I like to think Mac'd do the same for Julie and Gracie, given the case," he firmly stated.

Tami held his hand in his. "I know, and he would, no doubt. I really hope Billy and María find a way to be happy while she goes pro, but… I guess it won't be easy..." she said making a mental note not to forget to find some time to talk to María before leaving for the East Coast. "_Maybe she's just overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure_", she thought to herself.

Against all odds during that summer María and Billy were able to rebuild their relationship from the events of the last weeks of the semester. Their relationship was based, first of all, on friendship, and quite soon they found themselves back to the point they were right before the pregnancy scare. Besides, they were finally capable of actually talking about that episode and how they both felt guilty about the events of the subsequent weeks. Once all the cards were on the table, they renewed their commitment to a long term relationship, feeling that they had overcome a significant obstacle to their future prospects.

There is no point in denying that the knowledge that Bradley would no longer be at UT-Austin also played an important part in their return to normal. It was a huge surprise, mostly to María, as she had never imagined that Bradley would be looking for an academic change. She found out about his imminent departure one morning on a hot day in mid June, while she was gardening with her mother in their backyard, when he had phoned to tell her he was going away on a scholarship for two years.

"Hey Bradley, how are you?" María greeted him as soon as she saw his name on the caller ID of her cell, stepping into the cool kitchen for some privacy. She was really glad he had called. Actually she could not figure out the reason he had to call, as they had not been in touch since the end of the semester, but it was welcomed anyway. Despite their friendship was complicated she still considered him one of her best friends.

"Good, you?" Bradley asked back. Like some other times before when he had felt they had stepped over the line, he had been long considering if he should call her or no, and finally had decided on the former. As soon as he heard her voice and her tone, he knew he was doing the right thing. After all, they were friends and she was not to blame for his feelings for her.

"Good, too, thanks!" María answered, wondering again if he had any specific reason to call.

"Back to golf yet?" he hesitantly inquired, trying to make some small talk. Now that he had finally decided to make contact, he was enjoying talking to her, and for a moment he wished that call was just to catch up between good friends, with no further motive.

"Yeah… I'm slowly getting there…" she replied. It had been hard at first, going back to the range after weeks of inactivity, but she had quickly made progress and she was confident she would be in good shape soon.

"Well, you take care, don't overdo it…" Bradley kindly advised. He had seen her struggling to recover from her gastroenteritis, when the mere act of getting up from a chair required all her energy, and he knew she should not rush things.

"I won't …" María did not even let him finish his line, moved by his concern. She had not forgotten how he had helped her during those difficult days, and she had felt really bad about the way she had paid him back.

"Listen María, I just wanted to tell you something before you find out through someone else. You know how small Dillon can be sometimes…" Bradley trailed off at last.

"Yeah…" Well, finally here it was, the reason he had to call her.

Bradley sighed. "It's just I've been granted a scholarship in Dublin…" he slowly said, giving time for his words to sink in. It had also been a surprise for his family when he had delivered the news, and after that he knew the recipient probably needed some time to process the information.

"Dublin, as in Ireland?" María inquired, confused, after a few seconds, shifting to sit on a stool by the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, that'll be it. Trinity College, Business Administration…" he confirmed.

"Bradley, that's great…" It was all that María was able to say as her head was spinning and she rested her elbows on the cold granite counter. "_Bradley? In Ireland? How come_?" That was all she could think of.

"It is. It's a two year program that will also allow me graduate in Business in UT. I'll just have to be around for the last weeks of our senior year in order to deal with all the validation paperwork and I'll graduate as if I never had gone abroad… Plus I'll have a European curriculum…" he proudly explained. Laura had been the one to encourage him to apply for the scholarship during Christmas break. She was determined to apply herself and was certain that a fresh start across the ocean was the best way for them to strengthen their relationship, after all they had gone through during the last years. By the time they had gone back to college in early January they had both completed all the paperwork required, in his case quite reluctantly, but now that he was finally going he had come to appreciate the great opportunity it was.

"Congrats Bradley, that sounds superb…" María managed to congratulate him, still very much surprised.

"Yeah, it is… It's been kind of last minute and I'm leaving tomorrow… just wanted to say goodbye, so…" he trailed off, feeling a lump in his throat and suddenly wanting to end the call as soon as possible.

"Bradley?" María softly interrupted him.

"Yes?"

"I hate to ask, but… this has anything to do with what happened at Lake Travis that day?" She had finally posed the question that had been bothering her for the last minute, since the moment Bradley had mention the words 'Ireland' and 'two year program".

"I thought we had silently agreed that nothing happened that day…" Bradley softly replied, tightening the grip on his cell phone and closing his eyes. He was not ready to have that conversation yet, he even wondered if he would ever be ready for it, and it had never crossed his mind that María could bring it up when he had finally decided on calling her.

"I guess we had, mainly because you stopped me but… I don't know Bradley, this seems to be kinda rushed and I… I mean… I just wonder…" she insisted, not being able to find the right words to express her current fear. She had definitely been selfish that day and she was well aware she had played with his feelings. She only wished her inexcusable behavior had not pushed Bradley more than four thousand miles away.

"No, it doesn't María. The application was filed right after Christmas…" Bradley elaborated. He could sense her fear and the last thing he had wanted by contacting her before leaving was to make her feel responsible for his sudden decision. The truth is that he had never thought it possible that he could be granted the scholarship, and he had only applied to please Laura.

"You never mentioned it…" María whispered, unconsciously insisting on it, not realizing it just led to an awkward goodbye.

"Frankly, never thought I'd be even shortlisted. In fact, I'm filling a last minute opening… You're not the center of the universe, María…" he added without thinking in an effort to let her off the hook. Laura had been the one to be shortlisted, but her grandmother had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and suddenly the prospect of living in Ireland for the next two years was not alluring anymore. And Bradley was the first one in the waiting list when she sadly forfeited her scholarship.

"I know that, Bradley…" she quickly said, trying not to feel offended by his comment.

"Sorry, María, that just came out wrong…" Bradley immediately apologized. He had not intended to hurt her or bring back any unwanted memory by calling her, yet he seemed to be doing an awful job at that.

"It's okay, I think I deserve it… Well, good luck in Ireland. You'll be coming home for breaks, won't you?" María asked in an attempt to change the topic.

"Don't think so. Travel expenses aren't covered, and I'll have to find a part time job to help with books and such. So I guess I'll stick around and backpack around Europe if I have the chance…" he responded, refraining his urge to ask her back 'Would you like me to come?' He was well aware that was out of the question and it would only add weirdness to their already strained farewell.

"That's… I… I'm happy for you, Bradley," María finally stammered, trying to come to terms with the fact that they would not see each other in nearly two years. "_And probably we won't be in contact either_," she sadly thought. A huge and important part of her college life would be gone with him, leaving her overwhelmed with a sudden feeling of loneliness and uncertainty.

"Thanks María. Sorry I have to go now. Good luck with your tournaments. Bye." Bradley quickly ended the call. There was no point in making small talk once she was aware of his plans, and the longer they talked, the more opportunities they had to hurt each other.

Little did María know by then that the next time she would hear his voice her life would have completely changed for the worse and she would be dangerously close to lose everything she had been working so hard for all her life.

But right then, totally oblivious to the events she would have to face in the following years, knowing that Bradley would be living thousands of miles away for the next two years finally let María close a stage of her life and move on. He had become one of her best friends since the end of their senior year in high school and their bond had only grown deeper by both being in UT-Austin. But no matter how hard they had tried to put their friendship first, his deep feelings for her had always cast a shadow over it. Looking back, it was clear that they had spend most of their time together tiptoeing around each other and making sure they were not overstepping any lines. No friendship could survive that unharmed, no matter how strong it was.

As usual, during the first week of August María went to their family ranch in Dallas. This time she brought Billy with her. At the ranch all the family welcomed Billy as one of their own, and by the time they left for Dillon he had forged a strong friendship with María's older cousins. Mac's parents had passed away a few years back but all the siblings and their children still gathered at the family ranch for Christmas and at least a week in August. María loved it there, she loved life on a ranch and every time they visited she had the chance to spend time with her five cousins, all boys from 31 to 14 years old, and their friends. The eldest one, Hank, had gotten married two years ago, and he and his wife Mary Ellen had just announced that they were expecting their first kid. Her uncle Bob and her aunt Lizzie, and the whole family were eager to meet the first child of a new generation. María could not help but think that she could be like Mary Ellen when she heard the news, but all the angst and confusion was now gone. The summer break and spending as much time with Billy as she could had done the trick, and she was back to her usual self.

At the ranch they were also inseparable, not only during daytime. As much as Mac and Sue liked Billy they made it very clear before leaving Dillon that they did not expect their daughter to share the bedroom with him. María and Billy were okay with it, yet took advantage of the fact that she knew the ranch like theback of her hand. Although María's bedroom and the guest room Billy had been assigned were in opposite parts of the main house, they spent a few hours every night together in a cozy hideout in the barns, talking, laughing and slowly and quietly making love, surrounded by hay and the crickets chirping. María would always remember those nights as part of the most romantic moments she had ever shared with Billy, right behind the day and a half they had spent together in Llano during her freshman year in college.

Billy would be forever grateful to Tim for encouraging him to take a few days off and go to the ranch with María, insisting that that he could take care of the garage while he was gone. Tim had just broken up with Julie. He had never meant to make her choose, but he had finally confronted her tired of her reluctance to go public. "I'm not Seven, Jules, will never be. So if you're waiting for some kind of transformation, it's not gonna happen..." he had explained her one evening they had driven out to the cliffs, trying to convince her to take a step forward in the relationship. But her reply had both surprised and disappointed him. "I know...Maybe we should take some time apart, see how things go…" Tim had chuckled at her words, thinking that given they were in a long distance relationship they already spent a lot of time apart. "It's not that we'll be seeing much back in college," he had said reaching for her hand. "Maybe,… maybe we should stop it right now, while we can still end it with no one hurt..." she had replied, slowly withdrawing her hand. "That's what you want, Jules?" Tim had inquired, surprised and hurt. That was far from what he had intended. "Yeah, it is," she had responded, after a few seconds of hesitation, waiting for his reaction. He had just nodded, not saying anything, and started the engine of his truck to take her home for the last time. Deeply hurt and with nothing else to do but drinking all day long, Tim had urged his brother to make the trip to Dallas. "I can really use the distraction and the responsibility, man, and I'm sure Mars'll be delighted to have you there," he had told Billy.

The following days in August flew by and in no time María found herself counting the days to go back to college. Like all good things, finally the summer break came to an end and Billy drove her to Austin on a Sunday, after attending mass with the McGills. It took them more than seven and a half hours to get to Austin, as they took a little detour to make a stop near San Angelo, where they had a picnic and a nap before resuming their long drive. Not only had their relationship gotten more physical during the last month, but it had also grown stronger, if that was even possible. Should Maria had been asked about their prospects by then, she would have stated that they were invincible together and they had a bright future. But soon life would show her otherwise.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Date: Thursday September 16th 2010 7:01 p.m.

From: Tami Taylor

To: María McGill

Subject: Hi girl!

Dear María,

So, so sorry I've been neglecting you in terms of email communication lately, but life has been hectic since the move here. God, never in a million years did I think this would be so crazy…

But before I bore you with all the details of our "East Coast life", let me tell you that I'm sure you're doing great in UT-Austin once more. And you're a junior now! Good Lord María! Time seems to be flying be! By the time you realize it you'll be graduated… I know that there's no need to say this in your case but make the most of your time in college. It's once in your lifetime, and I know this is gonna sound silly to you right now, when you're overwhelmed with classes and golf, but there'll be a time in your life when you'll be swamped by work, the kids, the house… that you'll wish you could go back in time and enjoy the peaceful life in college. Trust me, sweetie, that day will come, so enjoy it while it lasts!

Well, we're finally here, in Pennsylvania. Sometimes I can't believe it! But this is real. So real that I love my new job, so rewarding, and so demanding as well. But, still, I love it. Being the Dean of Admissions here is a one lifetime opportunity. We live in a small town 25 minutes drive from Braemore College. We have to commute, but traffic isn't too bad, so Eric isn't complaining. I think he's happy, he likes his job with the Pioneers. Nothing to do with the Dillon football atmosphere but although he hasn't said a word I think he misses Texas. Or at least he will start to miss it soon. Well, who doesn't? Gracie is already complaining about the cold, and we're only in September...

By the way, only in September, but you've won all your tournaments and on your way to a new stat record I hear… Well girl, what can I say? We all knew you'd be going places, but all this is outstanding. And double majoring no less! How are Psychology classes going? You know I'd really like to comment on any subject, sometimes I think I'm getting a little rusty. I'm even thinking about a Master's while we're here. Tuition is quite expensive, even with the employee discount, but I think I will never have a better chance to do it, right? Eric was surprised at first, but very encouraging lately, and I'm seriously considering it for next year.

How's Billy doing? I know from your dad that the new super Dillon team is doing a great season. I'm so happy for all of them… Any new plans for the future? I know you still have two more years in college, but I'm sure you two have thought about it. That's one of the things that keeps a long distance relationship alive, isn't it? The future plans. Sometimes it is difficult when you don't see each other for months. Eric and myself had a few ups and downs during the years we were apart, but we managed to make it with lots of work. So, if you love each other as I think you do, do not surrender!

I have to go now, sweetie. I've just joined a book club with some coworkers and my debut is tonight. Wish me luck! I don't even know what they are currently reading yet, I hope it's not something too complicated… Take care girl, and good luck with everything (although I'm sure you're gonna excel at anything you do!).

Love from everybody here,

Tami

* * *

In the years to come, María would always remember her junior year in UT-Austin as her second happiest one in college, after her sophomore year. Both years ended up having something in common: a rocky final part, but María could not guess that during the first and most of the second semester. Life was good for her in every department. She liked her classes, mostly the ones related to Psychology, and much to her surprise she found herself deeply interested in Business, which only made it easier for her to keep earning A's and acing every test. "Girl, I wish I had your brains," Tyra exclaimed one afternoon they were studying together. While she was doing better financially, as she was working non-stop during her spare time, she was still struggling academically. "And your looks wouldn't hurt either! How you do it? I mean, you eat whatever you want, don't use makeup at all…" she added. It always shocked her how little time María devoted to her physical appearance and how well she always looked in jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes and no makeup.

"I don't think you can't complain either, Tyra. But if it's any consolation, I spend about eight or nine hours a day in the gym, the range and the course. I literally burn every cal I take, and get tanned despite applying sunscreen all the time," María replied chuckling.

"Don't envy that really… But you're a man magnet and you don't even notice…" Tyra insisted. Her love life was still nonexistent. Any new guy she would start to know and eventually like always fell short whenever she compared them to the one and only person that still held a very special place in her heart. No matter how hard she fought against those feelings for Tim, they were deeply rooted in her.

María chuckled again. "Look who's talking! Do I have to remind you that you were the girlfriend of the most desirable boy in high school? If that's not a man magnet…" she elaborated, but stopped as soon as she saw the change of expression on Tyra's face. "Sorry Tyra, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…" María quickly apologized. Despite Tyra's hard efforts to make everybody think that she hated Tim during the last years (she was inclined to think he himself believed it), María had always thought that Tyra still harbored strong feelings for him, and her reaction every time his name or their past relationship came up only confirmed her suspicion. Not for the first time, María wondered if Tyra was aware of what had been going on with Julie and Tim, and if she knew, how she had taken it.

"Oh, please, I've been past that for long now…" Tyra downplayed it, doing her best to try and focus on the books open in front of her in order to hide her true feelings. María was smart and was getting to know her better, so she would end up figuring it out if she was not careful.

Regarding golf, María took a leading role in the team from the beginning of the season. The experience gained the prior years and her outstanding performance led to her appointment as the team captain, which meant not only representational duties but also actual work with the coaching staff. In this regard, the bond she and Coach Harris had first developed in the context of her LPGA appearance in New Jersey, with him as her caddie, and strengthened during her sophomore year, with him as her coach, played an essential part in her new role as captain. Yet they still kept their distance: she would always address him by "coach" or "sir", and he would also always call her by her last name, but like the year before she admired him as a golfer and trusted his instructions and his advice to no end.

She had already been the team captain in her high school soccer teams both in Florida and Dillon, so she was familiar with some of the duties it involved, but her schedule in college was really tight and were it not for Coach Harris she would have felt completely overwhelmed. After all, she had to keep up with all her classes and also keep her spot in the team lineup throughout the year. Her well deserved awards and her excellent stats had earned her respect from both the coaching staff and her teammates, and ultimately her captaincy, but no guarantee of future results. Yet not for the first time, she managed to transform all that pressure into motivation.

And things with Billy were perfect. At least, as perfect as a relationship can be when you live five hours apart and you have very seldom opportunities to see each other, other than Christmas and, of course, summer breaks. Although Billy intended to try and visit her in Austin at least once every two months, he failed to do so. The pregnancy scare and its subsequent events had definitely taken a toll on him, as he blamed himself for not being there for María when she had needed him the most. And in order to make up for that, he promised himself he would do his best to go to Austin as much as he could, even if it meant that he would have to drive during the night just to see her for a few hours. But his assistant coaching position with the Dillon Panthers turned out to be much more demanding than his former job with the East Dillon Lions. Coach Taylor was no longer there and the new head Coach for the Panthers was nothing like him work wise. Mac was certainly making things easier for him but he did not feel comfortable having to resort to help from his girlfriend's father at his work place.

Given to these new circumstances Billy often found himself devoting to his football job during the season and working at the shop during the weekends to keep the business going. In that scenario, fearing that he would not be able to cope with all that on his own, with María in Austin and Tim in San Antonio, he saw no option but to quit working at the golf range in order to focus his efforts on the garage and the football team. A decision he would end up regretting.

During that first semester, while Billy was swamped with the shop and football and desperately trying to find some time to go and see her, María was perfectly happy just hearing his voice on the telephone once or twice a day, completely oblivious to his sense of guilt and his struggle to live up to his responsibilities. She was also busy with classes and golf, especially with her brand-new captaincy, which was taking her much more time than she had expected, and in that crazy schedule that kept her engaged in all her college activities there was no actual time to miss Billy´s presence. She did at first, sorely; after all their relationship had gotten more physical during the last part of the summer break and suddenly sleeping in his old hoodie was not enough. Yet after a week she was able to dive back into her campus routine full mode, which included having a long distance boyfriend.

Ultimately, it was nothing new; it had been that way during her freshman and sophomore years, and she was mentally prepared to navigate through the next two years with Billy living hundreds of miles away. During the summer, they had renewed their commitment to a long term relationship, but their future plans were still uncertain about the time when they could be seeing each other on a regular basis. Billy had made it very clear that college and the start of an eventual golf pro career, if that was what she wanted, came first, and that they would have plenty of time to be together after that. And she had gladly agreed to it.

Much to María's dismay, she noticed she had not missed Bradley at all since she was back in college when she came across one of his books in late September: 'For Whom the Bell Tolls', by Ernest Hemingway. It was one of his favorites (maybe because the main character fell in love with a girl named María?), and he had lent it to her when she was recovering from her gastroenteritis. Truth is she never got a chance to finish reading it as she was deep into her finals at that time. Maria had not realized she had taken it home mixed up with her own books, and apparently she had brought it back along with some novels Julie had recommended her. "_He must've left it behind last June, when he went to Houston at the end of the semester_," she thought to herself. And she wondered if she should contact him to let him know that she had it. She had not heard from him since the day he had called to tell her he was going to Ireland for two years and this was the perfect excuse to get back in touch. But not wishing to open that can of worms, and thinking that had Bradley wanted to he would have already reached out to her, she finally decided against it.

In early October Jason Street contacted María. It was a Friday afternoon and she was working on a new training schedule proposal in between tournaments for the team when the call came through. As she saw the caller ID on the screen of her cell, she smiled and flipped it open with her left hand.

"Hey, Jay, how're you?" she asked placing the pen she was holding with her right hand on her desk.

"Well, but not as well as you, I bet," Jason replied. "_Always the charmer_," María thought to herself. No matter that he was married now, with a kid and a second one on the way. That mix of southern charm, politeness, and nice guy had not changed a bit since they were in middle school. It was no surprise that every parent in Dillon considered him the perfect son-in-law. Unfortunately, Erin's parents did not know him at first and he had had to work hard to earn his way into their hearts, showing them that he really loved her and their baby and would do everything in his power to provide them with a happy life.

She suddenly recalled something her father had told her the prior week. "Not sure about that. I think congratulations are in order. My dad told me Noah's having a sibling…" María congratulated him. Mac McGill had kept in touch since Jason moved to New Jersey to be with Erin and Noah, and was really proud of his former QB. He thought that life had been enormously unfair to him and was glad Jason had overcome all the difficulties he had faced since his injury.

"Thanks, McGill," he proudly asked. They could not believe it yet given that they thought Noah was a miracle. So much for not being able to have children…

"How's Erin doing?" María asked. She had really liked Jason's wife when the Streets had joined María and her mother for dinner after her debut in the LPGA the previous year.

"She's doing great. In-laws are a huge help with Noah so she's not too tired so far." María could not see Jason's face but she could tell he was smiling.

"That's great, Jay."

"Yeah, it is… If you ever have a baby, McGill, try to do it when you're home and settled. Believe me, it makes things much easier and happier…" Jason advised her.

"I'll keep that in mind…" she quickly said, thinking that it was not possible that Jason knew about her pregnancy scare just a few months back.

"You do that. Don't let old Riggins knock you up too early…" he added, completely oblivious to María's thoughts.

"I promise I'll do my best," María chuckled, more relaxed now. "But you know how these things go, Jay. Man proposes, God disposes…"

"Don't tell me about it, McGill… Listen, I know that you're busy but I've got good news and preferred to call you instead of writing…" Jason trailed off.

"Good news?" María asked, confused, getting up from the chair and slowly pacing along her tiny room. Annie had recently become involved with the football team captain, Tony Jackson, and she was almost 24/7 in his room, so María had theirs to herself most of the time.

"Yeah. Remember the sponsors that tried dragging you to the LPGA right up to the beginning of the season?" Jason asked back.

María stopped pacing and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I do, why?"

"Well, one of them just called to say that you've got yourself an invitation to the ME Group Tour Championship next month. The Golf Association will forward it to you within the next couple of days along with all the arrangements...," Jason quickly said, waiting for what he thought would be María's cheerful reaction. But she was too surprised to say anything.

"McGill, are you there? Don't tell me you're already pregnant and you fainted from hearing the news…" he joked.

María shook her head. "No, I'm here Jay. Just… surprised, I guess… I never thought I'd heard back from anyone related to the LPGA after not taking part in the ShopRite Classic last June," she elaborated.

"You had a look at your stats lately, girl? I'm sure this's just the first invitation you're getting in the near future. Nobody cares you couldn't make it to that tournament…" Jason stated.

"Really think so, Jay?" María inquired, tightening the grip on her cell phone. Despite Coach Harris had told her otherwise, she had really thought that she would not be taken into consideration for any LPGA invite after forfeiting the invitation to the ShopRite Classic. She knew that Jason would never lie to her, but she needed some reassurance. If he was right, this meant that she was back on track pro golf wise.

"I do, I really do McGill," he asserted, sensing her current state of mind. "So start making arrangements to be in Florida next month, okay?"

"Don't worry, I'll definitely be in Naples next month." María did not know yet if she would end up pursuing a pro golf career or living with Billy in Dillon, but she was determined to at least keep all her options open in case she finally decided on the former. After all, she had been making sacrifices since she was fourteen in order to get there. "I just need a caddie, I guess…" she added, frowning. She had a lot to think of and arrange if she wanted to be in Florida in five weeks.

"What about that guy you brought to New Jersey last year? A former pro, right?" Jason asked, happy to see that the news had finally sunk in and María was already thinking about the tournament.

"Right, Connor Harris. But he's my coach and we're in the middle of the season, so maybe I can ask Billy if he can spare the time…"

Jason's laughter could be heard over the telephone line. "Come on. I know you're head over heels in love with Billy, but this's a great chance McGill. And as much as I like old Riggins myself, I can tell you that Harris is gonna make a better caddie…"

"Maybe... but…" María hesitated.

"Hey, sorry if I overstepped in any way…" Jason quickly apologized. But María was not mad at him. She was really mad because she was well aware that no matter how good golfer Billy was, Coach Harris was even better, and it was him, and not Billy, the one she should be asking to be her caddie.

"You didn't, Jay, and… you're right. As much as I love Billy and he's a great golfer, Coach Harris knows this world like the back of his hand…" María said. "Don't worry, I'll be in Naples. If Harris isn't available I'll ask a teammate. Thank you so much for everything, Jay. And please don't forget about your retainer. This is far more than a few calls, you're working like an agent here…" she added.

Jason chuckled. "No way, McGill. I already told you I won't charge you for any of this…"

"Please Jay, It's your job, you should…" María insisted.

"Here, let's make a deal. I'll ask you for a retainer the minute you become pro, okay?" Jason offered.

"Okay. But if you feel that you should do it along the way you won't hesitate to tell me. Deal?" she offered back.

"You've got yourself a deal, McGill. And I am the one who should be thanking you, because I'm having a meeting with this sponsor in ten days as they want to talk business with us. My boss is already impressed, you know, so thanks."

"You're welcome, Jay. Again, thanks for everything Jay. And congrats again!" she said getting up from the edge of her bed and approaching her desk.

"Thanks McGill, promise I'll be writing soon. We'll be watching you on tv next month. Take care!"

As María finished her conversation with Jason, her first impulse was to call Billy. But thinking that he would be busy closing up the shop before the Panthers game that night, she quickly took the new training schedule she had been working on from her desk and headed for the golf staff office, which was just three blocks from her dorm.

"Good afternoon, Coach, a word please? If it's not the right time I can come back later," María shyly asked after knocking on the open door of the small office.

"Come on in, McGill, have a seat," Coach Harris said raising his gaze to meet hers and closing the folder he had on his small desk. Everything else could wait for their captain. María sat down in a chair across him. "So, how's your new training schedule coming?" he asked smiling, pointing at the file she was holding in her hands.

María smiled back. She had worked hard on it and was really proud. "Good, good. Here you have a draft, I'm sure it can be improved but I just wanted to run it by all of you before taking it any further," she replied handing the file over to him.

"_Besides talented, humble_", Coach Harris thought, not for the first time. "Thanks, McGill, I'll circulate it among the rest of the staff and we'll discuss it asap," he said taking it and having a quick look at the first pages.

"Thanks sir. I also wanted to tell you that I've just had word that I've been invited to the ME Group Tour Championship next month." María smiled again, waiting for his reaction. She truly liked Coach Harris despite they had had a rocky start. She was well aware that as a scout he had been the one after the UT-Austin scholarship offer, he had kept a close eye on her golf since she had arrived in college, and he had been her caddie in New Jersey in her LPGA debut, earning her a top-30 and everything that came with it.

"Oh, McGill, that's great. Congrats!" he congratulated her, diverting his gaze from the file and looking at her while stretching his hand to shake hers.

"Thanks Coach," she thanked him, shaking hands.

"Listen, I know I don't have to say this to you of any people," he added, "but I'm gonna say it anyway. Don't relax, okay? Keep up your great work and enjoy it in Naples, okay? You already found yourself a caddie?"

"No sir. I haven't given it much thought yet…" she half-lied. While she was walking to the staff office she had realized that the LPGA tournament she had just been invited to was to be held the week before Thanksgiving, so it meant that she would not be able to go home for the holiday as she had planned. After a whole week away from college right before the finals, going home for a long weekend was not a luxury she could afford if she wanted to keep up her grades and meet her responsibilities as the team captain. So, unless Billy could be her caddie in Florida, which coming to think of it she highly doubted if the Panthers made it to the play-offs, they would spend nearly five months without seeing each other, from August to December. "_So much for wanting to be together_," she had thought to herself, trying to balance her desire to see Billy and the knowledge that Coach Harris would make a much better caddie if he could spare the time.

"Would you like me to be your caddie again? My hometown is just thirty miles from Naples. I know the course as the back of my hand. I was gonna go for Thanksgiving, but I could use some days off and be there from the week before…" Connor Harris quietly offered. He really thought she could display her best golf in that course, even improving her top-30 in New Jersey, and he was happy to help and spend some time in the pro circuit in the process.

"Would you… would you really do that?" María asked surprised. She was not expecting his offer, and certainly was not going to ask him before talking to Billy.

Harris nodded. "Of course. I could use seeing some old friends… I still miss that world, you know? And I do think you can really do better than a top-30 in that course," he stated confidently.

María smiled again. "Well, thanks Coach, I really appreciate it, both your offer and the trust you have in me."

"Okay, settled then," he said. "Coach Colt will take care of the registration arrangements with the LPGA, insurance, and authorizations, and I'll provide you with a few accommodation choices near the course, so you can book all you need in advance."

"Will do, sir. Thanks again for everything," María thanked him bowing her head and raising from the chair.

That night Billy called her once the Panthers game was over. They had won against Westerby and he was really excited. María was excited too about the unexpected, at least for her, invitation to the LPGA tournament, and she had been eagerly waiting for his call in order to share it with him.

"Best game ever, M. You should've seen your dad, all his plays were perfect!" Billy shouted on the phone, trying to make himself heard over loud music and indistinct people singing and clapping.

"That's great, Billy. Congrats! Where're you?" María asked, frowning. She could barely hear him and she had been waiting for hours to break the news to him.

"In the locker room," he answered. "These guys are starting the party right here, we're heading for Buddy's. I just wanted to call before it was too late, I know you have early practice tomorrow…" he said over the whole team shouting 'Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" at once.

"Yeah, thanks Billy. I also have…" María tried, but Billy did not hear her.

"M, sorry, I gotta go. Call you tomorrow, okay?" he said, unknowingly interrupting María.

"Oh, okay,… Talk you tomorrow then," María mumbled, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Sure. Love you M," Billy quickly said before hanging up.

That night María cried herself to sleep. Annie was with her new boyfriend so she did not even tried to stop her tears and sobs in the darken room. She was happy for Billy, she knew how hard he had worked to keep his spot in the new Dillon Panthers and how much it meant to him, being able to work with her dad and to do something he could be proud of, but she would have given anything to have the chance to share with him the good news. Tim had once told her that things were much better when you shared them, and he was right. She was learning it the hard way, and it was days like this when she let her guard down and realized the sacrifices she had made since she had gone to Florida at fourteen, the most important one barely spending time with the people she loved the most. And that was not likely to change in the near future.

The following day María did not wait for Billy to call her. She did as soon as she came back to her room from early practice. She was about to hang up after a few tones when a sleepy voice came through.

"Morning, beautiful," Billy mumbled in a raspy voice, his eyes still closed, wondering why he felt a heavy weight on his forehead.

"Good morning, sleepy head. I guess you had fun last night…" María happily greeted him.

Billy chuckled, trying to remember how he had ended up on his bed, fully dressed, his boots right beside the bedroom door. Everything was a complete blur after most of the coaching staff, Mac included, had left Buddy's by midnight. He could recall Buddy offering tequila shots to everybody, yelling "Here's to State again this year", and he himself thinking '_Well, I'll be just one, for the toast_.' Suddenly realizing that he was hungover for the first time in more than two and a half years, and he had made a huge mistake after months of sobriety, he tried to put on his best possible voice in order not to worry María.

"Yeah, we did. Ended up quite late, though…" he managed to say while a quick thought rushed his mind. "_What really happened last night? What did I do?_"

"Yeah, I can hear that… If I knew better I'd say you sound hungover," María joked, completely oblivious to Billy's current thoughts. She did not know it by then, but she had nailed it, and Billy panicked, opening his eyes.

"Just tired," he lied, and his heart sunk at the sudden realization. He was lying to the woman he loved in order to hide he had been drinking again. "_Great, just great. Just like dad…" _he thought, and a heavy feeling of guilt and shame washed over him. "Listen M, can I… can I call you back later?" He needed time to regroup and try to remember the events of last night, and he did not want to carry on lying to María in the meanwhile.

María froze when she heard him say that, her news and excitement about the tournament in Florida all of a sudden forgotten. "You okay, Billy?" she asked. "You…" she hesitated and swallowed the lump she was feeling in her throat, "You alone?"

"_Definitely I'm an asshole_," he thought when he heard María ask that. It was the last thing he wanted her to think. Drinking again was bad enough, and he did not know how he was going to tell her. "Of course I'm alone, M? Who you think I'm with?" he replied, sounding offended when he was ashamed.

"Don't know, Billy, but you so sound weird…"

"I promise I'm alone, M, I'm sorry you thought otherwise… It's just that we ended up really late last night and lack of sleep is killing me right now," Billy explained trying to stick as much as possible to the truth.

"Sorry Billy…." María apologized. "Actually I have good news," she quickly changed the topic. "Jason called yesterday, I've been invited to the ME Group Tour Championship next month…"

"Oh, M, That's great... Congrats! I told you you'd be back in no time if you kept up those stats… I'm really sorry I ruined your moment… I… I feel awful, M…" Billy managed to congratulate her and apologize in the same line despite his growing headache. "_I'm definitely an asshole_," was all he could think about at the time.

"Don't, it's okay Billy," María said. "I guess we're all getting too old to party…" she added joking.

Billy chuckled, relieved to hear her tone, and more in love with her than ever. It was at times like this when he realized how deep his feelings for her were, and how easily he could ruin everything. His self-esteem had improved over the last two years, mainly thanks to María, but his insecurities still surfaced from time to time when he admired certain personal qualities in her and could not help but feel he fell short in comparison. "I love you M, you know that, right?" he softly said, trying to convey a full meaning to his words.

"I do. I love you too, Billy. Talk to you later, then? I have to be at the gym in five."

"Yeah, talk to you later. Bye." When he closed his phone shut, he clumsily got up from the bed and peered through the blinds of his bedroom window. As he had feared during all the time he had been talking to María, his truck was not in his driveway. "_So someone drove me over, then_," he thought as he focused his gaze on a scribbled note sitting on his night table. It was written on the back of a flyer, and he recognized the writing at once: Mindy's small handwriting. As Billy approached the bed again and finally read it, his heart sank.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

* * *

Date: Tuesday December 14th 2010 7:39 p.m.

From: María McGill

To: Jason Street

Subject: Sorry it took me so long to write!

Hey Jay!

I know, I know... Before you say anything, this email is long overdue. Sorry for taking ages to write back to you. It's crazy here and now that finals are over I can finally have a quiet moment to write to you.

First of all, how're Erin and Noah? How's Erin doing? Sometimes it is hard to believe you've got a kid and another one on his/her way (you found out about the gender yet or you want to keep the surprise till the baby is born?). I mean, not too long ago we were all in middle school, and look at you now!

The CME turned out to be great. Not only for the classification itself (who would've thought?), but also and mainly, for the experience. Believe me, nothing to do with the Shop Rite a year and a half ago. Coach Harris says that nothing should be judged only by first impressions, even more if it is a sport competition, and I can't agree more with him on that.

To make a long story short: if I still had any doubts about trying to become pro once I finish college (you know I did during a certain time), they are now completely gone. Probably there's an easy explanation to it: in Florida I knew exactly what to expect from the tournament and therefore I was prepared for it. When you know the drill, things are much easier. Can you believe that I actually enjoyed golfing all four days? Every stroke felt good, very good. You know, that feeling that when you're out there on the course nothing else matters. So, again, thanks for making it possible.

Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you that I met O'Hara, from Andrews, and he said that it's a pleasure making business with you. I totally agree.

Over here things are the same, more or less. Gym, classes, practice, time to study... A new training schedule has been adopted last week and adjusting to it is taking us more time than we thought it would. We know it's for the best, but still changes take their time (and energy) and it seems that by the end of the semester we are all too tired for new things.

As you can imagine, college life does not leave much spare time for anything else, including family and friends. I haven't seen my parents or Billy since I came here in August. Nearly five months... Regarding my parents it's not the first time I don't see them for that long, but Billy... He intended to come at least for one weekend but he hasn't been able to due to football season and the Panthers making it to the playoffs (I'm sure you know that regrettably they lost their last game before State). And I had planned on going home for Thanksgiving but then the CME came along and I couldn't leave college for a long weekend after being in Florida for the whole prior week right before the finals.

These days I find myself wondering if a relationship can last when you barely see each other, and that circumstance is not temporary because that pattern is due to repeat itself for a few years. Well, to be fair, it's something we have given long thought and discuss over the last two years, but still it is hard sometimes. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade Billy and we have for the world, no matter how seldom we see each other.

The truth is that I can't wait to see him. I guess this last week till Christmas break is gonna feel long, very long ... And for the first time since I can recall I'm not looking forward to going to the ranch for Christmas. But I know it'll pass once I'm there.

Enough whining! (I'm not usually like this, I guess I'm really exhausted after the finals). Any news from Dillon former inhabitants? I have to say that most of them called, texted or wrote after the tournament TV broadcast. I'm sure you're up to date because you keep in touch with everyone, but here you can find the latest news:

\- Timmy's still in San Antonio. Frankly, I don't know for how long. Sometimes he sounds miserable over the phone. I know you call him on a regular basis. Please, keep doing it. Apparently he's made up his mind towards a Minor in P.E., which I really think it's a good choice for him.

\- Tyra: living in Austin hasn't changed her a bit. We share three classes this year so we spend most of our study time together. She's difficult to read sometimes, but I'd dare say we're becoming pretty close. I like having her around as she's currently my only connection to Dillon in college.

\- Miles is spending Christmas in Angola on a NGO internship with Tara. He's even thinking about extending it until right before graduation, as he's been doing extra credits this semester. His folks are quite mad at him I hear. We had a long talk, longer than we've had in years, and he's got a lot of plans for after his incoming graduation in late May (most of them involve living in Africa!).

\- Coach Taylor is doing great with the Pioneers in Pennsylvania, his only complaint being that when he says 'Clean eyes, full hearts...' nobody replies 'Can't lose'.

\- Mrs. Taylor is over the moon as the Dean of Admissions in Braedmore. She says they're both so busy that they haven't had time to really start missing Texas yet, but she's afraid Christmas will be their litmus test.

\- Julie is currently visiting Matt in Chicago (?) on her way to Pennsylvania to spend Christmas with her parents and Gracie. Matt's going to Dillon next week to spend the holiday with his grandmother and mom.

Well, I think I'm not leaving anything behind. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (this holiday must be fun with a toddler around!).

Take care, Jay.

Love,

María

* * *

As much as he tried to remember what had happened that night the Panthers had beaten Westerby, Billy was not able to recall any of the events that followed their toast with tequila at Buddy's, and the note Mindy left on his night table was not helpful at all, being brief and cold. Not that he was not expecting anything different given the way he ended up things with her, but still he would have welcomed a little bit of information to fill in his memory gap.

'Your truck is in the Landing Strip parking lot. Mindy.'

Billy spent all weekend at home, getting some much needed rest and trying to come to terms with the fact that he had been drinking again after over two years of sobriety. At least he knew that much about that Friday night. "_It just a mistake, relapses are meant to be, won't happen again_," he finally convinced himself after long hours of hangover and shame.

But then the point that he did not remember anything after the tequila started to worry him more than his relapse itself. "_What'd the hell did I do_?" Billy kept wondering, because the only thing he knew for sure was that Mindy had taken him home that night. He had her impersonal note to prove it. To be exact, he had it, because he had thrown it into the trash a few minutes after noticing it on his night table, as if he could erase the events of the previous night by getting rid of the piece of paper.

Mindy had not been on speaking terms with him since their breakup, so her action did not make any sense to him. Why would she drive him home? Unless they had run into each other during the night and somehow reconnect and ... Well, he did not want to think about that possibility. It would not be the first time he would have done something very stupid being drunk, and the little information he had managed to gather about those hours sounded very much like the Billy he had promised to leave behind when he had started seeing María.

Much to his surprise and despite his current thoughts, Billy was able to build a facade of normality when he spoke with María on the phone that weekend, hiding from her that he had been drinking, could not remember most of the party and his ex-fiancée had taken him home and, apparently, taken off his boots and help him onto his bed because he was too wasted to take care of himself. "_Nice_!" he could not help but think. Not telling María the truth made him feel awful, and being so good at it made him feel even worse. Long forgotten thoughts about not being good enough for her tried began to surface again as time went by during those days.

When Peter Hernández gave him a ride to pick up his truck the following Monday evening, after closing the shop, Billy was tempted to go inside the Landing Strip and inquire Mindy about the events of Friday night. He had purposely been away from it and thus with no vehicle all weekend, not knowing what to say or do if he happened to run into someone at the parking lot, but when he was finally there he was certain he would not find peace until he found out about that dreadful party.

But in the end, after a few minutes of hesitation and too afraid of what Mindy could tell him, Billy finally decided against it, hopped into his truck and headed home as fast as he could without getting a speed ticket. Knowing that he had drunk again was bad enough and he could not bear the possibility of having crossed any lines with Mindy in addition to that. As soon as he closed the door behind him, he called María. He knew she would be in the library by then and would have to step outside to get his call, but he felt the urgent need to hear her voice, even if it only was for a quick conversation.

During those weeks before Christmas, Billy was able to cover up his worries so well that María was far from suspecting anything. To her, every time they spoke on the phone Billy sounded like Billy, and nothing in his words or tone made her believe he was going through a rough patch, constantly fearing that he could be on the verge of losing everything he had worked so hard for over the last two and a half years, mostly María. For the first time since he had stopped drinking, more than once he found himself fighting the urge to hit a bottle of booze to try and relax his nerves in order to get some false peace. Luckily for him, Tim was in college and there was no trace of alcohol in their household, not even a single bottle of beer, and Billy managed not to buy any whenever he went shopping or stopped at the gas station resorting to all his strength of will.

By the time María went to Florida for the CME, Billy had made up his mind about not telling María anything about that night after long thought clouded by his fear of losing her. After all, he was positive it had just been a mistake and it was not likely to happen again. In fact, he had decided not to find out about it himself either. He was well aware he was being a coward, but he had reached the silly conclusion that if he did not know he was not lying to María, and that provided him some much needed relief.

When María flew into Midland four days before Christmas, Billy was at the airport to take her home. If his embrace was a little bit tighter and longer than usual when she came out the crowded gate, María did not notice it. Nothing in his expression or behavior could tell that he had been struggling for weeks with the lack of memories of his relapse. To María, they were at their best as a couple and they both picked it up when they had left it the minute they set foot on his place. Tim would not come home till the following day so they had the house to themselves, and took advantage of it after not seeing each other for four and a half months.

As days went by with María in Dillon, Billy started to doubt his decision of not telling her. It was not only that concealing his concern was harder in person than on the phone. What was beginning to change his mind was that they had always taken pride in the fact that there was no room for secrets in their relationship, no matter how little time they spent together, and regret and guilt washed over him every time it was brought to his attention that he was breaking their golden rule.

So by the time María left for Dallas with her parents on Christmas Eve, Billy was at a crossroads. One evening he could not endure the pressure for any longer and out of the blue he told his brother all he knew about that unfortunate night. They were watching a Van Damme movie when Billy turned to face Tim and started talking.

"The night we beat Westerby, I drank again at Buddy's, you know, the party afterwards. I don't remember anything after two shots of tequila to toast to the game..."

"Jesus, Billy..." Tim exclaimed quickly reaching for the remote and pausing the movie, looking at his brother. He suddenly noticed Billy looked like hell. "I'm sorry. I really thought you were over it, man..." he softly said feeling that Billy needed support, not a lecture on a matter on which he was not a role model either.

"Yeah, me too..." Billy sighed. "Only been once, but still…" he trailed off.

"How's Mars taken it?" Tim asked out of curiosity. He knew that when they had started seeing each other long distance, María had been afraid of Billy spending a lot of time alone and his possible fall into old habits. She herself had shared that worry with him. So he wondered how she would have reacted now.

"She... she doesn't know, Timmy..." Billy mumbled, looking down and taking the can of soda from the coffee table.

"Are you kidding me, Billy? You're really keeping her out of this?" his brother asked. Keeping something like that from her did not sit well with the kind of relationship they had.

Billy slowly raised his gaze and rested it on Tim. "Yeah, I know it's not great but..." he shrugged.

"Great, Billy, totally great. Not telling the person you've got future plans with about you drinking again sounds really great..." Tim blurted out, all his thoughts about supporting her brother forgotten all of a sudden. Anyone could see that he was being an idiot keeping María in the dark.

"Believe me, I know..." Billy sighed again.

"You know how that sounds, Billy? Like dad..." The moment he heard his words, Tim regretted saying them. There was no doubt to him that his brother was making a huge mistake, but he did not deserve the comparison. Nobody who was a good person did, and Tim knew firsthand Billy was a good guy.

"Don't... don't go there man... I ..." Billy immediately said, a hurt look on his face.

"Sorry, didn't mean it that way. But why haven't you told her? I'm sure she'll understand..." Tim apologized.

"'Cause that´s not all..." Billy muttered looking down again.

Tim chuckled until he saw Billy's hurt expression. "Not all? Sounds quite enough to me..." he exclaimed right before taking a sip of his soda.

"I don't remember anything after the tequila. Only know Mindy took me home..." Billy explained looking at his little brother again, who nearly choked with his drink.

"What? Mindy? For real?" Tim managed to inquire in between coughs, trying to wipe soda from his old Panthers t-shirt with his right hand.

"Yeah..." And then Billy told his brother how he had woken up on his bed, fully dressed (he confessed Tim that was the only information about that night that gave him some solace), and found Mindy's note on his night table.

"Shouldn't you, I don't know, like … ask Mindy?" Tim was now beginning to understand why Billy had kept his relapse a secret from María.

"Great idea genius. What about showing up at the Landing Strip and asking her 'Hey Mindy, what's up? What happened that night? 'Cause if I banged you I don't remember and I'd like to know...'" Billy retorted.

"I'm sure she's not gonna be surprised to know you don't recall anything... You must've looked terrible. Probably even puked in her car too..." Tim stated calmly.

"Timmy!" Billy complained.

"What? Most likely, wouldn't be the first time… But you really think you could've cheated on Mars?" Tim asked, genuinely intrigued. He was well aware that his brother could be an ass when drunk, but he had never been a cheater. The guy had many flaws, but cheating on his girlfriends had never been one of them. And he was certain he was not going to start with María. He was head over heels in love with her.

Billy shook his head. "No, I don't, and just thinking about the possibility makes me sick."

"Be honest with her, Billy. No matter what you do or don't recall about that night, tell her. She deserves that much. And I'm sure she'll understand, man," Tim advised him.

But despite his little brother's advice, María came back from Dallas and Billy still did not say a word. He kept saying to himself that things were great between them and he did not want to ruin it. Every night Tim would ask him about it, and every night Billy would have the same answer: "No. I'm not drinking again, so there's no need to upset her. She's got to be focused, Tim."

The last night María was in Dillon before going back to college, Tim could not help but share his opinion with his brother. He was certain Billy was not doing the right thing hiding it from María and, even worst, he would end up regretting it. "Are you sure this is about protecting her and not about protecting you?" Tim blurted out when he got the usual answer from Billy, and with that, he closed the door behind him and walked to his truck. He was meeting Matt Saracen and Smash Williams for some drinks before they all headed back to school after the Christmas break, and he hoped spending some time with old friends would distract him. Billy was not the only one that was having a hard time as Tim had also been going through a rough patch at the beginning of the first semester. After all, his breakup with Julie still hurt (more than the breakup itself, his suspicion that she had never taken him seriously), and being back in college after a long summer in Dillon had not helped. After a few weeks, he had managed to get back on track, working hard at every practice, which had earned him more and more field time, so by the end of the semester he felt he was starting to fit in college for the first time since he had arrived in San Antonio State two and a half years ago. Now, as Tim tried to make the most of his last days in Dillon, he wondered if that feeling would still be there once back in college.

But during those last days of Christmas break Tim found himself in an unexpected difficult position. He had no doubt María should know about Billy's relapse but, as much as María was one of his dearest friends, Billy was his brother, they had gone through hell together and he would never do anything to hurt him. So by the time the break was coming to its end, he concluded that it was none of his business, yet really hoped Billy would be ready for the consequences he would be certainly facing sooner or later if he did not change his mind.

María had to go back to campus three days after New Year's to fulfill some of her duties as the team captain. In order to stay home as much time as possible, she flew into Austin from Midland, and like he had done after Thanksgiving break in her freshman year, Billy took her to the airport. As it had happened that time, they spent almost an hour inside Billy's truck, parked in a quiet section of the parking lot of the airport, trying to stretch the time they had left before she had to approach the boarding gate.

"Come on babe, time to go," Billy muttered as he was placing small kisses down her neck. "You don't wanna miss your flight..." he added trailing more kisses towards her ear.

"I wish I could," María replied softly caressing his chest under his plaid shirt, and tilting her head to kiss his lips. She knew she would be okay once back in college, but as years went by it was getting harder and harder saying goodbye to her parents and, especially Billy, every time she came home.

When they broke their kiss María lifted herself from his lap and sat back on the passenger seat, rearranging her clothes. Despite being in a public place, buttons had been opened and the hem of her t-shirt had been taken out of her jeans waist. Seeing her like that, her cheeks pink from blushing and smiling at him made Billy want to come clean about his relapse for the first time in days.

"You know I love you no matter what, don't you?" he clumsily started. That line, especially the words 'no matter what', should have arisen all kind of red flags in María's mind, but she was too upset about having to say goodbye to notice it.

"I do. I love you too, Billy," she replied, leaning forward to kiss him. His reaction, stopping her half way with his right arm, surprised her. "What's wrong?" she frowned.

At that point Billy was already regretting his idea of telling her right then, just minutes before leaving. Obviously letting her know something like that right before she had to board a plane to go to college was not the best timing. Now that football season was over and he was no longer working at the range on weekends Billy intended to go to Austin once a month at least, but it could be weeks before they could see each other again.

"You're still in, aren't you?" was all that he could manage to come up with. After all, they always recommitted to a long distance relationship every time they said goodbye, like some kind of tradition between them, but it was the certain way in which he had posed the question what should have worried her.

"Of course," María firmly said, disregarding the weak alarm signals she was weakly sensing. They had come a long way together since that Thanksgiving break more than two years ago. Billy no longer thought he was not enough for her, not on a regular basis at least, and María was finally comfortable with the fact that he was more experienced in life than she was, and probably would be for years to come. At this stage of their relationship she was completely sure that they were at their best. There was no need to chase ghosts that did not exist.

Seeing she had not hesitated one bit, Billy reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'm in too, M," he replied. "More than ever," he added. This time it was him who leant in and kissed her until they reluctantly hopped out of his pick up to go to the boarding gate.

Once in college, María was back on her routine in no time, navigating as well as she could through her tight schedule. To her surprise, Billy went to see her just two weeks into the semester. It was only for a few hours, as UT was playing a tournament in Austin that weekend and María was not allowed to leave campus, but he had felt the urge to see her one Friday night he was watching tv at home after a long and hard week at work. Billy was well aware they would only be together a few hours since she was in the middle of the tournament, but he would have the chance to see her play live in an official competition for the first time in many years. Seeing her smile face to face alone was worth the long drive.

"What can I say, I miss my gal," Billy mumbled into her ear when she ran into his arms as she saw him by the entrance to the course after finishing her excellent round. When he had suddenly made up his mind about going to Austin the night before he had decided not to tell her he was coming in order not to disturb his concentration. He had been up by dawn, and driven all the way to the golf course from Dillon just on time to see her tee off the first hole. Wearing a UT cap and his sunglasses, he had proudly followed her foursome through the eighteen holes as part of the public gathered along the course. Not a single time had she noticed him among the crowd, mostly members of the coaching staffs from both teams and players' relatives and friends.

"I'm so happy that you're here, Billy," María exclaimed still hugging him. She was well aware they were in public but she could not keep her arms from embracing him, completely overwhelmed by his unexpected presence there.

"What a round, M, I'm really proud..." Billy whispered in her ear again, not wanting to let her go.

When he heard him say so, María tilted her head back to hold his gaze.

"You were here the whole round?" she inquired, a big smile on her face. She was tired but seeing Billy had made her adrenaline kick back up again.

"I was," Billy said caressing her cheek. "Didn't want to distract you..."

"I can't be off campus tonight, Billy..." she sighed, placing her hand on his, still on her cheek. María suddenly remembered she was in the middle of an official collegiate golf tournament, and therefore she was to be in campus with the rest of the team.

"I know, M, it's okay, I just wanted to see you for a few hours..." Billy explained, refraining himself from kissing her. No matter how happy she was that he had come, Billy had no doubt she would not like him to kiss her in front of her teammates, the coaching staff and the rest of the public.

"Okay, - have to take the bus with the team now. See you in the cafeteria in half an hour, then? I'd try to sneak you into the dorm but it's hectic there these days..." she trailed off.

"No, don't wanna cause you any trouble, M. The cafeteria's fine, see you there," Billy assured her, finally breaking the embrace and giving her hand a last squeeze before turning around and heading for the parking lot.

As María hopped in the team bus and sat on her usual seat beside Annie, her roommate started talking. "Whoa, María, he's much hotter in person that in photos. Hey, if you need the room tonight I can..." she quickly offered.

María placed her hand on Annie's forearm to stop her talking. The tension from the game was now starting to wear off and the last thing she needed now was a long chat with her otherwise generous roomie during the ten minutes it would take them to arrive to their dorm. "Thanks Annie, I really appreciate it but we're in the middle of an important match here... Billy's going home tonight..."

"And he's a gentleman too..." Annie loudly giggled, earning herself a stern looked from Coach Harris, who was seating in the front row of the bus. "I see now poor Bradley didn't stand a chance..." she added whispering.

"Shut up," María laughed. It was the second time since August that Bradley had come to her mind. This time she did not even entertained the thought whether she should contact him or not. Billy had come to see her just for a few hours and that was the only thing that mattered right then.

After María had quickly showered and changed into a white t-shirt and jeans, they spent almost three hours talking in a quiet corner of the cafeteria, eventually holding hands and caressing each other faces.

During all that time in the cafeteria, Billy wished she was not in the middle of an official tournament so he could tell her about his relapse without risking her concentration the following day, the final and most important day of the match. Not being honest with her was one the worst things he could imagine and now he had been doing it for months. It had reached a point where he was no longer worried about her reaction; he was just sick at his behavior.

So instead of telling her, when María was walking him to his truck he promised her he would try and come more often to visit. "I promise I'll do my best, M. With the football season over and not working at the range, I think I can make it..." he trailed off as he reached for her waist as soon as they set foot outside the cafeteria, the cool evening breeze caressing their skin and leaving goosebumps on her arms.

"I really appreciate you taking the trip, Billy, but don't want you driving forth and back in the same day..." she said also reaching for his waist and placing a quick kiss on his cheek, their first kiss of the day.

"I won't. I'll spend the night next time," Billy promised as they approached his truck and turned her to face her, her back leant on the driver's door. "You know I miss your smile," he explained quickly kissing her lips, "and your face," he added kissing her forehead, "and your smell," he whispered placing his lips on her neck, "but I also miss other things..."

María leant forward and kissed him, only breaking the kiss to mumble "I miss that too." They ended up hungrily making out against his truck, María's back pushed into the driver's door.

"I'd better go if you don't want to be suspended for improper conduct," Billy chuckled leaning back as he started buttoning his shirt.

"Yeah," María whispered, a frustrated tone in her voice while she slowly pulled her hair back into her usual ponytail.

"I promise I'll stay the night next time," he insisted framing her face with his hands, caressing her cheeks while locking eyes with her, and fighting the urge to tell her about that Friday Night months ago when he had gone off the rails. Hopefully that next time nothing would interfere with his growing need to share it with her.

This time it was María the one who chuckled, placing her hands on his wrists. "I don't have to be in bed with you to enjoy your presence, Billy," she said, completely oblivious to his current thoughts.

"I don't either, but I'd be lying if I said I don't miss sex with you..." Billy replied, trying to keep his mind distracted from the fact that he was keeping a secret from her, an important matter that could deeply impact in their relationship.

"Yeah, me too. I have curfew in five minutes," María sadly added having a quick look at her watch. "Drive safe and text to let me know you're home. I love you, Billy."

"I love you too, M," he replied kissing her and quickly hopping into his truck, before he had the chance to change his mind and tell her about his relapse.

True to his promise, Billy was back in Austin three weeks after that. Mac and Susan were visiting their daughter for her 21st birthday so Billy made all the arrangements at the shop to go the weekend before that and spend not just a night but Friday and Saturday night with María. By then she was totally swamped with classes and golf so spending a weekend with Billy was the best birthday present she could think of at the time.

Billy went big for the occasion and booked a room at the Driskill. They hardly left it during the 48 hours they spent at the hotel, taking advantage of the fancy room service, and by the time Billy kissed her goodbye in front of her dorm building on Sunday afternoon she was the happiest woman on earth while Billy felt he was the worst man on the universe, as he had been so afraid to ruin the moment that he had failed to tell María again. "_If she finally ends up dumping me over this I'll have it well deserved_," he thought to himself as he was driving onto the highway on his way back to Dillon. He was close to turn around twice, thinking that it was still not too late to tell her, but finally he decided against it. "_It's not gonna happen again, so why upsetting her_?" he convinced himself as he fixed his gaze on the pavement before him and tried to focus on the good time they had just shared together, overlooking the real possibility that she could find out about it through someone else.

And indeed she did. Much to his dismay María ended up learning about his relapse and his encounter with Mindy, and in the worst possible way. Via Tyra, no less.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

It was a Sunday night in late March when María found out. The team was just back from Oklahoma where they had won their four day match against Oklahoma University, one of the best golf squads in their division, and María herself had set a new record of the course on her last round. "This certainly calls for a celebration, McGill," Coach Harris had warmly congratulated her as she had finished her round and headed for the locker room. She was surprised to find a few journalists and even a couple of TV cameras waiting for her beside the team bus. Exhausted like she was, she slowly left her bag on the sidewalk beside her, put on her best face and politely answered all their questions (which mostly gravitated about the possibility of turning pro at the end of the collegiate golf season), while the rest of the team patiently waited. Once the interviews were finally over, she quickly fished a notebook and her cell phone out of the side pocket of her golf bag, placed it in the lower part of the bus and hopped in.

María spent most of the six hours that took the trip from Oklahoma City to Austin studying, as she already could foresee a tight schedule for the last part of the semester and therefore intended to study in advance as much as she could. Although once more she would not be going home for spring break, still the finals would take place at the same time as the last part of the golf season, and if that was not enough, she had just learned that her excellent stats during her junior year had earned her a new invitation to the ShopRite LPGA Classic in New Jersey in early June, right after the finals.

When the bus arrived in campus, the members of the golf staff that had not travelled to Oklahoma were waiting by the range and congratulated the whole team for a brilliant performance. "Y'all are dismissed until tomorrow afternoon. No curfew tonight and no early practice tomorrow. Go celebrate!" Coach Colt announced. As everyone quickly started making plans for the evening and the night, he approached María and shook her hand.

"Congrats McGill, that's how it's done," he congratulated her.

"Thanks sir, but the whole team did great." Although it might sound as one, it was not just a polite line. María was well aware that her outstanding results were not only due to her hard work, both on the range/course and the gym, but also thanks to her teammates' golf. Being as good as they were had allowed María to play on edge, risking some difficult strokes. She would have played more conservatively if the team had needed a certain maximum score from her last round in order not to jeopardize their collective success on a course that was usually difficult to them.

"Yeah, but ya're the one settin' a new record on that damn course. I mean, it's the Jimmie Austin Golf Club at The University of Oklahoma, McGill! Ya know how many times we've lost all our chances there? It's like we've conquered their land! No wonder the OU coach sounded actually pissed on the phone…" he said taking off his cap and running his hand on his grey hair. That gesture immediately reminded her of Coach Taylor, and she made a mental note to find a quiet moment to write to Tami and Julie. She was ashamed to realize she had not written back to them since Christmas.

Pushing the Taylors to the back of her mind, María chuckled, not knowing what to say. It had been just another great match in a very demanding course to her, but apparently it meant much more to Coach Colt.

Seeing her hesitation, he smiled back. "Ya've got any idea what ya're capable of, young lady? Mark my words here, ya're gonna be one of the big ones…" he praised her. But despite her outstanding performance in Oklahoma, her interviews (which she did not know back then but would end up making the national media the incoming week) and Coach Colt's words, that day would always be remembered by her as the exact time when everything started falling apart around her.

Given that speaking on the phone on the team bus was totally forbidden, María exchanged various texts with Billy while she was studying on the ride from Oklahoma. As text messages were allowed as long as the devices were on silent, she started typing on her cell as soon as she took her seat on the bus. She had intended to make a quick call to Billy on her way to the bus from the locker room, but the unexpected presence of the group of journalists that was waiting for her had prevented her from doing so. She longed for a real conversation, being able to hear his voice, but a written one would have to do for the time being.

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:25 P.M.: "Right back on the bus. Totally exhausted. How R U?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:26 P.M.: "Working. New car fleet comes in 2morro, trying 2 have everything prepared. How'd it go?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:26 P.M.: "Good, good. Ww!"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:27 P.M.: "Congrats, M, gr8!"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:27 P.M.: "TQ. There's more…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:28 P.M.: "What do U mean more?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:28 P.M.: "I set a new record on the course 4 collegiate golf since its renovation: 64!"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:29 P.M.: "Whoa… Congrats! Always knew U're the best…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:30 P.M.: "Thx Billy. 4 everything, and 4 being always there no matter how little we R 2geder."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:31 P.M.: "U know ILU, right?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:31 P.M.: "Yeah, I do, LU2. Can't w8 2 see U, Billy. Know it's just been 6 weeks but IMU."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:32 P.M.: "MU2, M."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:32 P.M.: "What R U doing 2nte?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:34 P.M.: "Nothing much, watching TV I guess. U? Any wild party I should warn U about?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:34 P.M.: "This isn't football, Billy, no wild parties. Though we may've the nte off. U know, no curfew, no early practice."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:35 P.M.: "And whatcha doin?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:36 P.M.: "IDK, all I really wanna do is fall sleep on your chest... I'm worn out…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:37 P.M.: "Yeah, I can tell, 64! About that chest part…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:37 P.M.: "What?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:38 P.M.: "Have U anything in mind be4 falling sleep?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:39 P.M.: "Yeah, both be4 and after, but U'll have 2 w8 till next time we see each other."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:40 P.M.: "I'd wait 4ever just 2 spend 5 minutes talking 2 U in person."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:40 P.M.: "Billy! That's so cheesy! (not that I wouldn't do the same 4 U). R U ok?"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:41 P.M.: "I am, just IMU. U should go out 2nte, have fun…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:42 P.M.: "And spend the whole nte talking golf? No TQ, really need a break."

"NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:43 P.M.: "Call Tyra then."

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM M MCGILL, MAR 27 2011, 12:45 P.M.: "Tyra? Thought U didn't like her…"

NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM BILLY RIGGINS, MAR 27 2011, 12:46 P.M.: "Never said that. She knows how 2 have fun. She'd be good company 4 U 2nte."

When María was finally in her dorm, she let herself fall on her bed and closed her eyes. Trying to ignore the excited yelling from the hallway (she could clearly overhear Annie's voice saying something about a party along with the football team), and thinking that if she stayed there she would pass out of exhaustion, she slowly sat on the edge on the bed and reached for her cell phone. All her muscles hurt after the four day match and the long bus ride when she stretched toward the small night table. She speed-dialed Billy and to her surprise it went straight to voice mail.

Doing her best to refrain herself for calling him on the landline of the shop (disturbing him if he was still working was the last thing she intended to do), she scrolled through her contacts and dialed Tyra's cell number. Billy was right: if there was someone she knew in Austin who would be good company if she wished to have some fun away from the always crazy college atmosphere, that was Tyra. She had been studying all day long and Maria's call asking her if she wanted to hang out together was a gift from heaven. "You're a godsend, girl. I could really use some fun tonight. What're you thinking?"

"Honestly, no idea, Tyra. I thought you were the expert on this…" María replied. "Sorry, no offense…" she added, thinking that her friend would not like the sound of her last line.

"None taken, I'm honored!" Tyra chuckled. Although being completely different and having very little in common, the both of them had gotten close during the last months, spending most of their study time together. And now Tyra really appreciated that María would also count on her to have fun. She actually needed it, too. She did not have a social life in Austin at all, as she spent all her days in college, in class and at the library with María, and afterwards waitressing part-time in a small neighborhood bar close to her studio apartment. Rent and tuition were expensive, and not wanting to rely on her mother and sister's financial support, as they still struggled to make ends meet, Tyra had had to postpone her dream of starting an internship at a local auditing firm in order to keep her current job. And regarding her love life, it was nonexistent. Nothing had changed since she had arrived in college: any new guy she would start to know and eventually like always fell short whenever she compared them to the one and only person that still held a very special place in her heart. In this position, she really welcomed the chance to spend some time out of her routine. "What do you fancy?" she asked María.

"Don't really know, Tyra, I'm too tired to think. Your choice, really," María said, holding her cell with one hand and opening her small closet with the other, trying to figure out what to wear depending on Tyra's different options for the night. She hoped that one of the two dresses that currently hanged in her dorm room in Austin would be appropriate for the occasion.

"Are you sure?" Tyra inquired raising her eye-brow. _"She must be really worn out if she's just willing to play along with whatever I decide…"_ she thought to herself.

María sighed. "I am. As long as it doesn't involve anything illegal, I'm in."

"Ag, you're such a bore, girl…" Tyra quickly retorted.

María nodded. "Yeah, probably I am. But I'd like to be attending my, or should I say, our Econ class tomorrow at 10 a.m…"

"Will do, I promise. Pick you up in half an hour. And forget about jeans, dress it is! Not too fancy, thought," Tyra quickly instructed before María had the chance to change her mind.

As soon as she hung up with Tyra, her cell phone started ringing. It was Billy, who was already home from the shop and had just noticed María's missed call when his cell had come back to life when he had plugged it in.

"Sorry, M, my cell went dead. I'm glad I caught you before you leave 'cause I really hope you're going out …" Billy quickly drawled when she answered the call. She was delighted to hear him and at that exact moment she wished she could stay all night in her room just listening to his voice and wearing his old Panthers hoodie.

"Yeah, followed your advice and Tyra's picking me up in about twenty minutes," María managed to say, ignoring the goosebumps she was feeling all over her skin.

"Well done. Have fun. I'm really proud of you, M. Talk to you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah. I Love you, Billy, and I wish you were here and I was going out with you," she whispered closing her eyes.

"Love you too, M," Billy muttered back. It was times like this, whenever she would express her feelings for him, that he regretted the most keeping her in the dark about his relapsing episode, as he truly felt he was betraying her trust and probably damaging their relationship to the point of no return. Completely terrified about that possible consequence, lately Billy had been considering about telling her during the summer break. He had come to the conclusion that it was a brilliant idea because at that time she would be in a relaxed atmosphere, at home, surrounded by family and friends, and he would be by her side to deal with the aftermath. Little did he know that he was about to run out of time for that.

Both Billy and María had been right, Tyra knew how to have fun in Austin on a Sunday evening. On the first stage of what could be called 'their first girls' night', María and Tyra had dinner in a Mexican restaurant only two blocks down from the latter's studio apartment. The food was great and the staff very friendly, and Tyra was clearly a regular there. Afterwards, they went to a couple of places she knew on Congress Avenue. In both of them the life music was fantastic and they had a great time.

"Would you mind driving? Maybe you could stay at my place tonight, too? It's just been a couple of drinks but I'd prefer to be on the safe side…" Tyra made herself heard over the music as they were exiting the bar. As she said so, she handed María the keys to her old rusty Sierra. A silver colored, number 33 shaped key holder immediately attracted María's attention when she took the keys in her hand. It was identical to the one Tim had, and she wondered if he had given it to her, and if he knew that she still had it should that be the case.

"Yeah, of course," María agreed.

"Thanks. I used to do that a lot, you know, drive with a few drinks on me. More than a few really… I guess I was not aware of the danger, and I always thought if I'd run into Deputy Clark he would be kind enough not to press charges. A DUI was the last thing I needed back then…" Tyra trailed off while she took María's arm for balance. "Ups, sorry, I guess I haven't drunk or worn high-heels for a very long time…" she quickly apologized.

María chuckled. "It's okay, Tyra. Just don't collapse before we get to your place. I'm not used to driving in town and I'll need directions from you…"

"Sure thing. I'm good, I'm good. But let me warn you I can be a bit chatty…" Tyra explained, letting go of María's arms and walking by her side.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I remember a certain party our senior year in high school. Apparently I spent most of it chatting with Bradley, but I hardly recall any of it…" María trailed off as they reached the old Sierra and she opened the passenger door for Tyra.

"I totally remember that night, Timmy took you home and Bradley ended up with Alice…" Tyra stated while María turned around the vehicle to unlock the driver's door.

"How do you know all that?" María asked in awe, getting behind the wheel, buckling in and starting the engine.

Tyra shrugged as she got on the passenger seat and turned to reach for the seatbelt. "I was there."

"Yeah, but Bradley and Alice, I thought nobody knew that," María elaborated, maneuvering the pick-up and driving onto the busy street.

"Oh, believe me, you'd be stunned to know everything you can notice when you're the only one sober at a wild high school football party…" Tyra chuckled. "And once Tim was gone with you, I had not much to do but sit down and wait for Julie…"

"I'm sorry to hear that…" Maria apologized, wondering if Tyra was really aware of what she had just implied. Had she actually gone to that party only to keep tabs on Tim the whole night? She tried to remember if she had been with Landry back then, but as theirs had been an on and off again relationship it was difficult for her to be sure about that. "_I'd better concentrate on the road_," she thought to herself.

"Don't be…" Tyra muttered. "Here, take the first one to the left, and then the second to the right. We're not very far…"

Once María had parked the truck in Tyra's apartment building parking lot, they headed upstairs. It was a nice complex in a quiet neighborhood, but Tyra often complained about it not being close enough to campus. "But it's the best digs I can afford so far…" she usually added. Despite its very small size, the studio was cozy and bright, with big windows overlooking the Colorado River and a park, and Tyra kept it tidy, even when Bradley had been living with her for a while and it was difficult to share such a tiny space without tripping over boxes and books scattered all over the place.

"Ice cream? Don't think I'm gonna fall sleep anytime soon…" Tyra offered as she let them in, locked the door behind her and got rid of her high-heeled shoes at once.

"Sure."

"What about a pajama party? I'll get you something comfy to change into. Take a seat," Tyra asked as she disappeared into her small bedroom.

"Fine by me. Not that I've been to many of those…"

"For real?"

"Yeah. You may not recall it, but I did not have many girl friends in school..." María explained as she sat down on the couch.

"I do. You spent all your time with boys, we all secretly envied you…" Tyra said coming out of her bedroom, clad in an old t-shirt and shorts and handing María a similar set of clothes.

"Yes, I was a real tomboy growing up. I drove my mom crazy…" María admitted chuckling.

"You can say it, María. She was not the only one you drove crazy. I hated you because you were Tim's best friend…" Tyra explained making a beeline to the small kitchenette to get the ice cream and two spoons. "I'd be chasing him pretty much 24/7, he would be ignoring me in return, and you'd be the one that was usually with him. I'm sorry I was a bitch to you back then, María," she finally apologized locking eyes with María as she sat beside her and handed over a spoon.

"It's okay, I kind of knew why you did it. And honestly, I could not understand what you saw in him…"

Tyra laughed, taking her first spoon of strawberry ice cream. "It's funny that you say that. I could ask you what you see in Billy…"

"Well, we were in eighth grade back then, Tyra…"

"Yeah, but tell me you didn't you like Billy back then…" Tyra retorted.

This time it was María who laughed. "Honestly, no. I was barely fourteen and he was almost twenty-two. He was more like a big brother…"

"Lucky you, then. I wish I'd been focused on other things than Tim when I was fourteen…" Tyra stated, frowning and digging again in the ice cream.

Once more, Tyra's change of mood as soon as Tim was mentioned did not go unnoticed by María. "Can I ask you something, Tyra? Don't answer if you don't want to," she softly asked, hoping not to be intruding too much.

"Shoot!" Tyra exclaimed, still focused on the ice cream container.

"Have you ever told Timmy how you feel?" María inquired, tilting her head to try and make eye contact with her.

"How I felt, you mean. Yes, back then," Tyra replied, raising her gaze and fixing it on María, while she passed over the container.

Something in Tyra's look encouraged María to ask further. "No, I mean how you feel now, present tense."

"That I hate him?" Tyra quickly said, raising her eyebrows. "I guess he knows María… I mean, he can be an idiot sometimes, but…"

"Is that really how you feel about him?" María insisted, placing the ice cream on the coffee table and turning to face her friend.

After a few seconds, Tyra sighed. She was tired of keeping that hard façade, and maybe she could let that wall fall with María. "No, not at all," she finally muttered. "How do you know?"

María shrugged. "I don't know, several things I guess, mostly the way you look whenever his name comes up, and your key holder… I had never seen it till today."

Tyra sighed again. "Yeah, I didn't realize you'd connect the dots… I haven't been using it for years, but last Christmas my mom sent me over a few boxes with things I had in my room at home. She said that as I seem to not be going to Dillon anymore since I am in college I can very well keep my stuff here so she can use the room for something else. I found it inside of one of the boxes." It was certainly a relief to be able to talk to someone about this, other than Mindy, to whom she had stopped bringing it up after Billy and she had broken off their engagement. In her opinion, her sister was still in love with Billy and had not still moved on, for which Tyra usually nagged her. What would Mindy say then if she knew about Tyra's feelings for Tim?

"Did he give it to you?" María asked, sensing that Tyra was comfortable talking about this with her and it might help her. She could relate to that as she could still remember how talking to Tim, first, and Bradley, later, about her feelings for Billy had greatly helped her to get through the day.

Tyra nodded. "Yeah, when I got my driving license, so we'd have the same one…"

"That sounds romantic…" María knew firsthand that Tim had a romantic side no one could guess from his tough look and apparent indifference, but she kept that to herself.

Tyra smiled widely and her eyes lit up. "It is… I threw it in one of my dressing drawers when we broke up. Hadn't thought about it since then. But now that I was here and no one would know what it means, except you I guess, I started carrying my keys in it again."

"Have you ever thought about telling him, Tyra?" María dared to inquire encouraged by her friend's big smile.

Tyra's face turned sad. "No. I have plans, you know, and none of them involve going back to Dillon, while I'm sure that's where he really wants to be. Even if we tried again, we'd never stand a chance. I'll grow out of it, I have to, with time. But enough about me, what about you? How are things with Billy?"

This time María's face shone with a bright smile. "Great. Well, all the great they can be when we barely see each other…" she trailed off.

"It's funny, you know, because I do recall a certain evening at Julie's when you told us you had a crush on someone older than you…"

María chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that… I was dating Jack back then and I just could not understand his behavior…"

Tyra deliberately avoided Jack's topic, as she knew he had deeply hurt seventeen year-old María. "I would've never guessed your platonic love could be Billy Riggins… I mean, I sort of knew the guy and I have to say he never struck me as the type who would have photos of her girlfriend on his bedside table..."

"Yeah… How do you know that, by the way?" María asked, first amused, then surprised. As summer break had been coming to an end, Billy had asked María for a few photographs of her. "It's not that I'm gonna forget your face or anything, but I'd really like to have some around," he had told her one night as he was taking her home. They had ended up having a great time going over María's old photo albums, and he had chosen the ones he liked best. The night before going back to college, María had been surprised and truly moved to see them displayed on his night table.

Thinking that how she could be so stupid to let something like that slip, Tyra blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "Don't know. Haven't you mentioned it sometime?" But her face spoke volumes and Tyra's reaction to her question started to worry María.

"No, I don't think I've ever mentioned anything about that bedroom," she managed to say, trying to push all type of crazy thoughts and theories to the back of her mind.

"I…. I don't really know, María… I must've heard it somewhere…" Tyra stammered, which María definitely took as a sign that she was hiding something.

"Where, Tyra? Why are so worried?"

"Because I have a big mouth," she answered looking at her now intertwined hands on her lap. "I'm sorry, María. Mindy told me in confidence and I should have never…" she finally added locking eyes with a now stunned María.

"Mindy… how… how does she know about that?" she mumbled, trying to swallow the lump on her throat. "_Mindy? In Billy's bedroom recently? What was she was doing there_?" María wondered as she tried to come up with any other motive her boyfriend's ex-fiancée could have to be there, besides the obvious one.

"You really don't know, do you?" Tyra softly asked, placing her hand on María's forearm, doing her best to offer her her support. If she did not know about Mindy taking Billy home, she probably was not aware of his relapse either.

"Know what, Tyra?" María could hear her heart racing out of fear, and for the first time that night she wished she had not listened to Billy and stayed in her dorm instead of hanging out with Tyra, who, she knew even in that moment, was just the messenger and should not be blamed. "I'm freaking out right now. Why does Mindy know about Billy's night table?"

"You should ask Billy, María," Tyra whispered.

"Believe me Tyra, I'd really love to, but it's nearly midnight and I don't think calling him now would be a good idea. Since you're the one that brought it up, I beg you tell me…" María insisted. If she had to confront Billy, she would rather have all the facts beforehand.

Tyra looked at María again. It was ridiculous not to share with her what she knew once she had messed up big time. Now it was too late to be loyal to Mindy over María. "Okay, María. I'll tell you what I know. It was a Friday night, big game. Some of the team and the staff showed up in the Landing Strip late in the night. When her shift was over, Mindy found Billy passed out beside his truck in the parking lot. He was wasted and apparently he hadn't been able to make it inside with the rest of the party-goers. She took him home and left him on his bed. Wrote a note telling him where his truck was and left."

María gapped. "He drunk that night?" she mumbled.

"Either that or something stronger," Tyra said, feeling sorry for María. She could not think of any worst way to find out about something like that.

"He had been sober for more than two years…" María quietly said.

"Listen, I really don't know what to say…"

"I can't believe he's hidden all this all this time…" After the initial surprise, María was starting to feel something different, which she was devastated to identify as anger. She was shocked to find that that anger was not caused by his relapse itself, and that she was angry because Billy had kept her out of it for months. Silent tears began to run down her cheeks.

"I don't know, María. My relationship record sucks, but maybe he was trying to protect you?" Tyra offered.

María's reaction was quick. "Me? From what?"

"Don't know, from this?" Tyra asked back daring to brush off one of María's tears with her thumb.

"Yeah, but this is because I just found out through his ex-fiancée sister. Forgive me if I'm a little bit taken aback right now…" María replied wiping off her face with both hands.

"I'm truly sorry María."

"Don't be, Tyra. It's not your fault, thanks for telling me. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna take a cab to my dorm…" she explained taking her jacket and heading for the door of the small studio.

That night exhaustion took over and unexpectedly María slept until her alarm went off the following morning. When she had arrived from Tyra's Annie was no were to be found, and had not come during the night, so she was thankful not to have to be making excuses for her red-rimmed eyes and cranky mood. Instead of calling Billy, like she would have normally done, she went straight to class, mumbling "I don't really know" when Tyra asked how she was doing.

Meanwhile, in Dillon, Billy began to sense something was off with María when it was almost midday and she had not called him like she usually did every morning (he usually phoned her in the evenings). Thinking that she might have taken the morning off as well (after all, she deserved it), he got through the day until it was time to close the shop. He had been busy with the new fleet of cars and lost track of time, but it was really strange that he had not heard from María all day long. His worry started to grow when he called her and it went straight to voice mail. By the time he arrived home, he had tried to contact her ten times in the last half an hour and her phone was still off. Thinking that she might have lost her cell the night before, Billy tried the common dorm landline, and he was told that María was at the range, which was odd at nearly eight o'clock in the evening.

Finally, past nine o'clock, María called him back. She was still at the range, she could hear some of the staff in the office getting things ready for the following day, and maybe it was not the best place to have an intimate conversation, but she knew Billy would be worried by then after a whole day of silence. So she turned on her cell and speed-dialed his number.

"Jesus, M, are you okay?" Billy quickly asked as he flipped open his phone.

"Yeah. You?" María asked back trying to keep a straight voice. She had long thought about what she was going to say to him, but her resolution seemed to be fading now that she was finally calling.

"Yes, was sick worried when I couldn't get a hold of you. Everything all right?"

"Not really…" María sat down on a bench in front of her locker and closed her eyes. This was going to be difficult.

"Hey, M, what's up? You hurt?" Billy sounded very worried.

María mustered all the strength she could to pronounce her following words. "I am Billy, I really am. You drink again after almost three years and you don't tell me?"

Billy froze. All his fears were suddenly coming true, and he was hundreds of miles away to explain himself. "M…"

"You are so wasted that Mindy has to take you home and you don't think that's worth mentioning?" María kept inquiring with her eyes closed, focusing on her voice. What she had learnt the night before had not changed her feelings for him, but she did not want those feelings to interfere with what she intended to say and do.

"M… I'm sorry…" Billy sat down on his couch and braced himself for impact. At this point, lying to her was the last thing he wanted.

This time it was María who froze when she heard his apology. This situation was getting worse by the minute. "This is the part when you tell me that nothing happened between you two, Billy…" she quietly whispered, opening her eyes. The Billy-Mindy part of the episode had been the less worrisome for her up to then. María trusted Billy and she thought that he would never cheat on her, and, if he did, he would never choose Mindy. But, again, she had never imagined that he would hide from her the fact that he had being drinking again, although it was only once, and his reaction was making her think she should be worried about Mindy, too. Billy's next words only reaffirmed this worst case scenario, and at that point all her doubts vanished and María was certain she was about to do the right thing, as painful as that decision might be.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Not wanting to lie, Billy sighed. “I can’t actually tell you that, M…”

María tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall from her now watered eyes.“Billy… I can’t believe on top of everything you…” she mumbled.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I can’t tell you that ‘cause I don’t remember. All I know is I woke up fully dressed on my bed, and Mindy left a note letting me know where my truck was,” Billy quickly explained. Things were already bad enough as they were, no need to make them worse.

“And you didn’t ask? Why? What were you afraid of?” María could not help but think that if something like that would ever happen to her, she would definitely want to know. Unless, of course, she would be terrified to find out the truth. And that idea that Billy had deliberately preferred to keep the events of that night in the dark because he really feared what he could have done was slowly sticking in her subconscious.

Billy sighed again. He was well aware he had not dealt well with the situation from the beginning, but he thought his choice not to know the circumstances beyond Mindy’s note should not be an issue. He had convinced himself that if Mindy and he had reconnected in some way that night, she would undoubtedly have let him know. “M, Mindy and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms and…”

María stood from the bench and started pacing the locker room, not playing any attention to the loud noise her golf shoes were making against the tiled floor. “I just can’t believe all this, Billy. Was it so hard to ask and find out? Unless you don’t care about it or even fear that…”

“Come on, M, that’s not fair. You know I do care about it. I’m sure Mindy would’ve told me if something…”

At that point María started laughing, a nervous laugh she could not quite control. “Billy, you two were engaged. If she still has feelings for you and something did happen, she might not know how to deal with it…”

He chuckled. “Clearly you don’t know her, M, she’ll make sure I knew…”

María stopped on her tracks and leant on her locker. “Don’t know Billy. I remember after the first time we kissed I avoided you for weeks, when the only thing I wanted was to see you… I’m afraid we’re not that predictable, not when feelings are involved…” She took a deep breath. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation Billy…”

At that point he panicked. He could sense what María was thinking and he focused on trying to change her mind using the only thing he was certain about that night. “I’m really sorry M, the drinking happened only once and…” he trailed off.

“Frankly Billy, I know people relapse, it’s part of the process. I’m not mad about that,” she softly stated, still leaning against the cold metal of the locker. No matter how upset she felt, she could not miss the fact that drinking again must have been a big disappointment to Billy himself, and she really wished he would have shared it with her in due time in order to be able to support him. Yet he had not, and she felt she could not ignore that it had been his conscious choice to hide it from her. How were they supposed to make this long distance relationship work if he did not trust her with something like that? 

Her words and her kind tone opened up a new glimmer of hope for Billy “So, we’re good, then? I’m sure nothing happened between Mindy and me…” he insisted.

Although Billy could not see her, María sadly shook her head and closed her eyes again. “No, I don’t think we’re good. I’m mad because you kept it from me, the whole thing, Billy.”

“I didn’t want to upset you, M. Not gonna happen again… Jesus, it was six months ago. Please let me show you it was just a one-time thing…” he rambled.

Knowing that their conversation had reached a dead end, María cleared her throat and started pacing again. “Billy, I think I’m gonna need some time…” Since finding out the night before, María had slowly come to the conclusion that she could not overlook something like this. In fact, there was a little but persistent voice in her mind that kept whispering her that she should break up with him. And that had been her first intention when she had finally found the strength to call him. But hearing his voice had made her reconsider her prior decision. She suddenly felt she was not strong enough at the moment to make such an important call, given her deep feelings for him, and although that little voice had practically yelled at her when he had confessed he could not tell her nothing had happened with Mindy, she chose to ask for time to process all the information and the way she really felt about the whole episode.

This time it was Billy who closed his eyes on the other side of the telephone line, scratching the back of his neck. “Time… for what?” he managed to ask, instantly dreading her response.

María gulped. “Time to think, Billy… I’m gonna need some time to think. I’ll call you when I’m ready, okay?” Her voice was suddenly hoarse, and she felt the urge to end the call as soon as possible.

“M… please… don’t…” he tried to dissuade her to no avail.

“Billy, please, could you just do that? I don’t think it’s too much to ask… No calls, no texts, no emails till I call you back… please?“ she begged, trying not to lose her patience in order not to worsen the situation.

“But… when will that be, M?” he dared to inquire. Billy had no idea if time would or would not help him here, but he wanted to get some kind of commitment from her.

María refrained from an unexpected impulse to laugh, but a light snort was clearly audible before she spoke. “Honestly, Billy, right now I’ve no clue. Please give some time, don’t make me do or say something now we may regret…”

Her last words tensed him more, if that was possible. “Okay… I guess I’ll wait for your call, then…” he mumbled, thinking that he could very well do what she had just asked. “_At least she’s not breaking up with me… yet…”_ he thought. “M?”

“Yeah?”

“Just remember I love you. I... I’m just an idiot who was afraid to disappoint you for something I assure you it’s not happening again, but I never, ever, intended to hurt you. Not at all,” he explained wholeheartedly, trying to convey how he felt and his reasons to keep her in the dark.

The fact that she had not said “Love you too”, like she usually did whenever they spoke on the phone, did not go unnoticed by Billy, and as he hung up his phone he made a huge effort to stop him from taking his truck keys and drive all the way to Austin to apologize in person and make things right between them. But the echo of her calm voice asking him for time advised him otherwise. He would really only make things worse if he showed up unannounced in Austin, when she had just asked him for time to think.

María navigated through the following two weeks trying to make up her mind about her current situation with Billy. As time went by, the little voice that insisted that she should break up with him started to fade, only resurfacing full force when she was tired at night or when she remembered the role that Mindy could have played in all this. María was surprised to find that while with every passing day she was starting to understand why Billy had hidden the drinking relapse from her, out of a completely misguided notion of protection (but protection after all), she was really finding it hard to cope with the way he had dealt with the fact that it had been his ex fiancée who had taken him home with no recollection of it from his part. As much as María really missed him (for the first time since the beginning of her freshman year they were not speaking on the phone or communicating via emails or texts on a daily basis), she was finding it hard to reach to conclusions that would led her to forgive him. She felt sad, lonely and confused.

These conflicted emotions were certainly taking a toll on María. She was golfing better than ever, if that was even possible, and was earning straight As in all her classes, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. Coach Harris noticed it just two days after her conversation with Billy. Her performance was impeccable both on and off the course, she was being really helpful with the rookie members of the team and an outstanding captain, but she seemed to be distracted. Her usual smile was gone and her eyes were dull and clouded.

“Hey, McGill, are you alright?” he asked after a while watching her at the driving range.

“Yes, sir,” María automatically replied turning to face him.

“You sure?” Coach Harris insisted narrowing his eyes. He could not forget the fact that the prior year she had ended up hooked to an IV line full of fluids in a hospital because she had been ill for days and nobody around her had noticed her condition. Her strong will and determination had hidden it and he had silently blamed himself back then for missing it. He did not want something like that to happen again under his watch.

“Yes, sir,” she echoed.

Connor stepped forward getting closer to her. “You certainly aren’t well. Is there something we can help you with?” he inquired in a low voice.

María shook her head, placing her 7 iron club in her bag. “No… Thanks for your concern, sir.” She hesitated before speaking again. On one hand, she did not want her coaches to know about her current situation, but, on the other, she did not wish to be rude to Coach Harris. Not only was he her coach, but he had also been her caddie in the two LPGA tournaments she had played so far, and she really trusted him. She quickly looked down and then met his gaze again. ”All due respect, it’s personal…” she finally trailed off.

“Word of advice, McGill?“ He had been right to think there was something off with María, but he did not want to pry into her life, at least not too much. He was aware that she was in a long distance relationship with a childhood friend since she had started college and he knew firsthand how challenging that could be.

“Of course, Coach,” she politely said.

“It’s more than personal when it starts to affect your performance…” Coach Harris elaborated. “Yeah, I know, I know, it hasn’t affected it yet, but, trust me McGill, it will…” he added holding his hands up.

“I know, sir, and that’s far from my intention,” María firmly stated.

“Good. Everything alright at home? Your parents?” he finally asked, trying to fish for some additional information.

“They’re well, Coach…” María said smiling.

Connor sighed. Maybe it would be more effective not to beat around the bush. “Hey, I know it’s none of my business, but if it’s related to Billy, talk to him. Or to someone you trust enough to share whatever is bothering you. Long distance relationships are always difficult, believe me I know, but the last thing you need is keeping it to yourself.” He did not know it at that time, but he had nailed it.

María nodded, her smile suddenly gone from her face. “Thanks Coach, will do.”

Although María had no doubt Coach Harris was right, it still took her more than two weeks to follow Connor’s advice and talk to Billy. And she spoke to Tami Taylor and listened to Tyra first.

“Do you think I should just overlook all this and forgive him?” María asked Tami when she called her seeking advice and some clarity in her thoughts. She had been in the verge of phoning Tami several times, and she finally did one Saturday afternoon, thinking that that would a time her former guidance counselor would not be too busy. After a few minutes of small talk, catching up on the latest news both in Texas and Pennsylvania, confusion was evident in María’s voice, and Tami had quickly urged her to share the source of her concern.

“Well, sweetie, there’s no weakness in forgiveness. Therefore I think you should try to come to an understanding of why he did what he did,” Tami explained after listening to María. She had just learned about Billy’s drinking relapse, and she was sorry to hear it, for both Billy and María.

“I have, I really have Tami. That’s really the only thing I feel I’ve been doing for the past weeks…” María sighed.

“And?”

“I think he hid it to somehow protect me. I know it sounds weird but…” María trailed off.

Tami nodded to herself. “Could be…”

“Yeah, it’d still be totally wrong, but seems like a possible explanation. But there’s more…” María softly said.

“More?” The way Tami posed the question sounded a little more vehement that she had intended.

“Yeah. I can’t stop thinking what pushed him into drinking again. I mean, wasn’t he happy? I didn’t have a chance to ask when I confronted him…” María elaborated.

“That’s certainly important, honey,” Mrs. Taylor stated.

“I know, I know I should call and ask him, but I don’t really feel like it. See, there’s something else I haven’t told you…”, and María quickly related Tami the part Mindy had played in all this, and how Billy had not bothered to find out the truth about the blanks during that night.

“Good Lord María, I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, but I think you really need to talk to him. You shouldn’t be taking any decision without all the information at hand,” she advised María.

“Yeah, easy to say, but I think I’m afraid to know certain things…” María finally admitted.

“Yes, exactly like Billy is afraid of finding the truth from Mindy… Don’t make the same mistake, María. Take your time and call him when you’re ready, just to talk…” Tami insisted, seeing that María was clearly confused.

She breathed a deep sigh. “I do love him, you know? But this is a challenge to handle…”

“And that’s why you shouldn’t rush into anything, María,” Mrs. Taylor advised, hoping, not for the first time, that her daughter Julie would face difficulties as María did. At least she always ended up seeking advice instead of clamming up, like Jules tended to do.

“Yes, you’re right. Thanks Tami.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, honey. But, as always, I think you already knew what to do, you just needed to say it out loud… Now, tell me, has Julie contacted you lately? She’s a little bit mysterious since Christmas…” Her change of topic took María by surprise, and she managed to navigate through her questions without exposing Julie’s recurring visits to Matt in Chicago.

It was finally Tyra who made María call Billy, almost three weeks after their girls’ night. “Calling him doesn’t mean you forgive him, you know? And it can actually help you make up your mind, María.” She had not shared her mixed and confused thoughts about Billy’s behavior with Tyra, but the latter was a smart girl and could figure out what was going on in her friend’s mind. And she had been in her shoes, too. She had been a teenager back then, with all that implies, but the dilemma between forgiving her boyfriend or not for something he had done was not foreign to her.

At last María called Billy on a Sunday. It seemed like he had been waiting for the call, as he responded on the first ring.

"Hey, M. How're you?" he softly asked, sitting on the couch and bracing himself for impact. Those three weeks with no news from María had worn him out. Only the prospect of her future call got him going on a daily basis.

"To tell you the truth, I've been better, Billy.” Her comment had come out harsh, and she regretted it as soon as she heard her voice. “You?” she added, in a softer tone.

Although María could not see him, Billy shrugged. "Pretty much the same. I thought you weren't calling and..."

"I said I needed time, Billy..." she chimed in, trying to stop him from talking before she said her piece.

But he had been thinking long and hard about what he would tell her when, and if, she called. He was determined to let her know that he had missed her dearly before the conversation could take a different turn. After all, he had no clue what she was going to say. "I know, I know, and that's why I've been laying low. I've missed you, M..."

María did not know how to reply to that. Of course she had missed him during these three weeks, but had also felt miserable because of something he had done.

"Maybe we could talk, Billy..." she tried. That was the reason she was calling, so she could very well start there.

"Absolutely..." he quickly said, taking it as a good sign that she wanted to talk. “I'm not going anywhere so..."

"I was wondering if we could do it in person?" María hesitantly inquired. She was well aware how much time it took to drive from Dillon to Austin, but if there was anything related to this episode that she was totally sure about, that was that they needed to discuss it in person.

His heart sunk.

"I mean, I know you're busy and all, but maybe you could come next weekend. We've got no tournament and..." María elaborated, noticing the silence at the other end of the telephone line.

"_She's gonna dump me_," was all Billy could think at the time. He shook his head trying to clear his mind and focus on their current conversation again. "I was gonna see Timmy's game in San Antonio and spend the night there, but could leave for Austin afterwards and...." he managed to say.

"No, no, no need to change your plans. I know Timmy'd like to have you there with him..." She knew firsthand Billy regretted not having been able to see his little brother play college football as much as he would have liked, even more since he had earned more field time.

Billy sighed. He was eager to see her. "M, I'm sure he won't mind... It’s not like I’ve been a regular to his college games, and he sure won’t mind if I don’t spend the night with him…"

"No, it’s okay Billy, go see Timmy and spend the night, I've got curfew on Saturday night anyway. What about meeting for lunch on Sunday? That'll give you time to be with Tim and even have breakfast with him..." she elaborated.

"M, I wanna have breakfast with you..." Billy chuckled. “_And spend the night with you, too_,” he thought, but he kept that last line to himself.

This time it was María who sighed. "Billy, we have to talk..."

"M, if you wanna break up with me you can just say as much..." Impulsive, hot-headed Billy came to the surface as he heard her reaction. Luckily for him, María also reacted quickly before he could worsen the situation.

"What?... I haven't made any decision yet. I need to talk to you, to see you first. You want me to break things off, Billy?" she replied.

That was the last thing he wanted. He shook his head as he apologized. "No, not at all. I’m sorry. It's just that I've been waiting for your call three weeks, M, and now that we're finally talking you say you want to do it in person and you don't want me to spend the night in Austin... What do you expect me to think?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"That's exactly why I want to talk in person, Billy. To be able to see each other's faces and avoid misunderstandings,” María explained. “Unless, of course, you don't wanna..."

"Of course I do wanna see you, and talk to you..." Billy trailed off.

His tone saying those words made her hesitate. Not for the first time since this conversation had started she wished they were just planning one of his visits, and for a moment she was close to asking him to come right away after Tim’s game. But she knew their relationship would never be the same if they gave a false closure to this episode, and she finally stuck to her previous idea. "Okay, lunch on Sunday it is then. I'll text you the address on Saturday," she said at last overcoming a moment of weakness.

"Can’t I call you, then?" Billy asked, as he had hoped they could resume their usual communication after her call.

"No, please don’t, I still need time. See you on Sunday, and tell Timmy I said hi," she quickly replied, not giving him time to start a new argument.

"Will do, M," Billy replied, trying to think that María might have her reasons to ask for more time and that maybe it would help to fix things. “_And if not, respecting her wishes is the least I can do after all this mess…_” he thought to himself as he hung up.

It was a difficult week for both María and Billy. As Coach Harris had predicted, her worries were starting to interfere in her golf. She was still the best golfer in the UT-Austin team and playing very well, but she was slowly beginning to lose that sense of joy and easiness that made her unique on the course. And she was feeling it herself.

It was also a hard week for Billy. He went over his conversation with María over and over again, trying to find a clue to what she was thinking, but unlike most of the time since they had been together, he found her difficult to read. On one hand, as he had told her, he was afraid she intended to break up with him the minute he set foot in Austin, but, on the other, he thought that given the circumstances she would have done it already. "_Maybe she just wants to see me to find a reason to be together despite all this_," was usually his last, hopeful thought before falling asleep.

Trying to amend his prior mistakes, he even run into Mindy at the grocery shop during that week and asked her about that night. It was certainly not a coincidence, as her shopping habits had not changed since they were engaged, but he could not think about a better place to talk to her. "_At least, she won't yell at me in a public place,_" he thought when he came up with the idea.

To say it was a weird encounter is an understatement. They run into each other at the far end of an aisle and she tried to get past him quickly, but his soft voice asking how she was made her stop on her tracks. “_M was right, she still has feelings for me_,” and that realization brought back memories he had worked hard to bury under layers of guilt and remorse. He had not thought about his behavior with Mindy for years, but now, standing in front of her, he wished there was a way he could make up for it and he felt even worse about the way he had not even thanked her for taking him home that night. Her response asking back how he was gave him the clue to finally inquire about it and there, surrounded by all kind of canned food and sauces, Billy finally learned about that night. “You were wasted Billy, no surprise you don’t remember. I don’t know how I was able to drag you into my car and then into your house…” Mindy explained. “Oh, no, we didn’t, I just placed you on your bed and left,” she added holding her hands up when she read his next question in advance just by looking at him. Despite they had broken up almost three years ago, she was still able to read him like an open book, and that thought made him even feel worse about the way he had ended up things between them.

Meanwhile, as days went on, María tried to dodge Coach Harris’ questions. As her caddie, they had developed a bond on those courses of New Jersey and Naples that had somehow survived once they were back in Austin, although shaded by the fact that he was his coach in college so roles were clearly reversed and, as such, many of the things that were part of a caddie-golfer relationship were off limits. If something like this would have happened during one of those tournaments, Connor would have not stopped until finding out the source of her concern. While on course, when players are not sure what to do, they have to be able to trust their caddies to know their game well enough to give them the best opportunity. The good caddies (as he liked to consider himself) exude an air of positive confidence that makes players feel that even when they're not at their best they can be successful. And for that they have to know the player very well. So if he were acting as her caddie he would have found the way to drag the words out of María, yet there was not much he could do as her coach, apart from regularly ask her how she was. And she would always politely reply the same way, “I’m good, thanks Coach.”

Tired of this game of cat and mouse, and wishing she could count on him as a friend and not only as her coach, María knocked on the staff office door the day before meeting Billy, knowing he would be alone as he was the only golf coach that usually worked on Saturdays when they were not playing throughout the weekend. 

“Hey, Harris, sorry to bother you for a minute,” she said knocking on the door and standing by it.

The fact that she had called him ‘Harris’, like she had done whenever he had been her caddie, did not go unnoticed by him, and he guessed that she had stopped by to share something personal. “No bother at all, McGill. Wanna sit down?” he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

She shook her head. “No, it’ll only be a minute…”

“Okay…” He rounded his desk and leant on it, waiting for her words.

“Just wanted to tell you that Billy is coming to town tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll be focused again,” she explained taking off her golf globe while she held his gaze.

“That’s good, McGill. You need some time off? We can arrange…” he offered.

“No, that won’t be necessary, sir. We’re meeting for lunch and I’ll be in the dorm before curfew…” she trailed off, wishing he would not inquire further. And sensing her obvious discomfort, he did not.

“Okay, then. Thanks for telling me, let me know if you need anything…” he said pushing himself up from the desk and returning to his chair behind his computer. “And McGill?” he added looking at her.

“Yeah?”

“Good luck.”

María nodded, smiling. “Thank you sir.”

By the time María entered the small diner she had chosen at five to twelve on Sunday, she had no idea how the conversation Billy and she were having would turn out. Doing his best not to be late, Billy had arrived half an hour early, and was already seated in a quiet booth on the far end of the diner.

As soon as he saw her stepping through the door and looking around, he waved and quickly stood up to wait for her. The mere sight of his stance by the table brought a smile to her face and lit her eyes for the first time in weeks, and that gave Billy a boost of much needed confidence. His fear that she only wanted to see him to break things off in person had stuck with him all along the long drive from Dillon, and as he had sat on the booth and asked for coffee to wait for her, he had felt he was been led to some kind of execution.

It was a long conversation and by the time they paid the check it was already dark as it took them several hours and meals to renew their commitment to a long distance relationship. Billy started apologizing, insisting on the fact that it had been a one-time thing. When María asked what had led him to drink in that moment he honestly replied that he did not know, that all he could remember about that certain moment was that he had thought that it was just a toast. “Never in a million years I imagined it’d end up that way, M. I’m really sorry,” he added before telling her that he had also asked Mindy about that night.

“Thanks for asking her, Billy. I know that must’ve been hard,” María thanked him. As he was right there in front of her, María knew that her feelings for him had not changed at all since she had come to know about that episode. And that realization scared her, because once more it was just proof that they were deep rooted and she would be devastated if they were not meant to be together in the future. Little did she know at that time that that would happen soon enough.

“Billy, I love you and that hasn’t changed. But this long distance relationship isn’t gonna work if we’re not honest with each other. And that implies we can’t be hiding things,… I don’t care if we do it to protect you, or me,” María sighed, hesitating about bringing up a certain episode from the past she was not proud of at all. Yet it was a good example and she finally decided to mention it after clearing her throat. “Telling you about what happened with Bradley a year ago wasn’t easy, I can assure you that.” She held her hands up when he was going to say something. “I know, I know it’s water under the bridge now, but I knew I had to tell you although it was gonna hurt you, no relationship can survive that kind of secrets, even more if it’s long distance… So, can we make a deal? Always tell the truth, no matter what? Sounds kind childish, but…”

“No, you’re totally right. Deal?” Billy replied stretching his hand to shake hers.

“Deal,” María said, shaking hands and then intertwining her fingers with his. “I’ve missed you Billy,” she added.

“Missed you too, M,” he whispered, warmly squeezing her hand and softly caressing her wrist with his thumb, causing goosebumps all over her body.

As they hopped in Billy’s truck only ten minutes before curfew, María thanked him for coming again. “I’m sorry we don’t have time to…” she started apologizing but was interrupted by Billy cupping her face and softly kissing her. It was their first kiss since their awkward embrace a few hours before when they had met at the diner. “I didn’t come here for that, M. Buckle up, don’t want you to be late…” he said before starting the engine and driving onto the road.

The last part of the semester and the golf season were as hectic as usual, but María aced all her finals and even improved her already outstanding stats her junior year. Like in her freshman year, she went to New Jersey to compete in the ShopRite LPGA Classic, right before going back home for summer break, this time without her mother but also with Connor Harris as her caddie. Despite Billy had done his best to try and have some days off in order to be able to go and see Maria during the last weeks of the school year, María and Billy had not seen each other again before she flew to Atlantic City, and they had agreed that he would be in Austin the day after she would be back from the ShopRite to drive her home.

That’s why she was stunned to see Billy at the airport in Austin as she got through the exit gate with her bags.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” María exclaimed placing her bags on the floor and running towards him as soon as she saw him.

“Hey, just wanted to see you, Miss Top-20 in the LPGA…” He hugged her, but there was something in the way he was gently caressing her hair that made María tilt her head back.

“Is my dad okay? My mom?” she asked, locking eyes with him.

“They’re well. Why do you ask?” Billy replied, framing her face and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“Timmy?” María could sense something was wrong.

“He’s good, M…” Billy chuckled, embracing her again, only letting her go to carry her bags to his truck in the nearby parking lot.

They made small talk until all her bags were in his truck. Being aware that he was going to cause her great pain, Billy suddenly stopped her from heading for the passenger door. He had planned on telling her once inside his truck, but on the spur of the moment he decided that she might welcome the fresh air, given that a light breeze was cooling the evening.

“Hey, M, there’s something I’ve got to tell you…” he bluntly stated taking her hand.

María immediately turned around. “Billy, you’re scaring me…” She had felt something was off the minute she had seen him waiting by the gate. “_But he said my parents and Timmy are okay…”_ she thought, confused. 

Billy sighed and placed his hands on both sides of her waist. There was no easy way to say what he was about to say. “M, Miles is dead, I’m really sorry…”

María shook her head and narrowed her eyes, her gaze on his. “What?”

“Miles is dead, car accident on his way to the airport in Kenya…” Billy explained, raising his right hand to place it on her neck and caress her cheek with his thumb.

She shook her head again. Nothing Billy was saying made any sense. “That can’t be true, Billy, he’s in Uganda and won’t come home till…”

Billy gulped, still caressing her face. “Yeah, apparently he changed his plans, that’s why it took days to indentify his body and call his family…” he trailed off. He was sure María did not need this kind of details right now and he was mad at himself for not being more careful.

“When?” she inquired in a hoarse voice, as tears started to well up in her eyes.

“More than ten days ago… We knew on Thursday, there was a small funeral yesterday…” Billy slowly explained, cupping her face with both hands.

She frowned at his words. “Thursday?... It’s Sunday today, Billy…”

“Yeah, your parents said we should wait to tell you till you came… I’m really sorry M, I know you two were friends…” Billy elaborated as tears began to fall down her cheeks and he, helpless, hugged her.

While María rested her head on Billy’s chest, crying, and fisted his plaid shirt while he embraced her, memories of Miles flooded her mind and she tried to come to terms with the fact that she would never see him again. It would be later, during that night, when, unable to sleep despite Billy’s efforts to help make her feel better, images of her playing her round, joking with Coach Harris and having dinner with Jason and Erin in Atlantic City on Saturday, while Miles’ funeral was being held, unbeknown to her, started to haunt María. She had even been interviewed on national television on Sunday morning, bright smile on her face, when she now knew she should have been at home mourning her friend. Exhausted from the tournament as she was, María finally cried herself to sleep, as she silently blamed Billy for all that. 


End file.
